The Heart Remembers: a friends to lovers romance (Heart Collection)

by L. B. Dunbar

“I just told you I have a therapist,” I snap, and immediately wish I could take the words back when Katie’s expression shifts. Her lips twist, and she shifts her body, standing with AJ melting into her.

  “He’s back to sleep.” She rubs a hand up his back, and I notice her attire is a short tee shirt, nightie thing. It’s sexy without intending to be, and I swallow at the thought of her wearing such an easily removable item to bed. From my bed, I appreciate the view, especially when she bends forward, returning AJ to his Pack ’n Play crib and presses her two fingers to her lips before lowering them for AJ’s head.

  Damn, she’s so sweet. And I’m an ass.

  Shifting on the bed, I easily reach out for her as the Pack ’n Play is close, and curl my arm around her middle. I tug her back to me, and she squeaks in surprise.

  “Shh, you’ll wake AJ.” I scoot back, allowing her space on the mattress as I drag her down so her back meets my chest and she lays next to me.

  We’re quiet for a second, perhaps holding our breath in hopes not to wake AJ.

  “I didn’t mean to be intrusive,” she says, hardly more than a whisper. “He was crying. That’s all.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I was rude. Thank you for helping him out.” I tip my forehead into the back of her neck and inhale her own sleepy floral scent. My palm flattens over her belly.

  “Want me to prescribe something for you?” she whispers, and I shake my head.

  “Katie girl, it’s nothing. I drank too much.”

  “Does it happen often?” Her voice hitches as it rises a bit, and I detect something else in the sound. More than concern but a touch of panic.

  “What’s going on?” I lean back and shift so I can turn her to her back. She looks up at me as I’m perched on my elbow, and her wide eyes hint at things. “Did he hurt you? Does he drink too much and touch you?” I’ll fucking kill him. Images of my older brother Trent touching Tricia come back to me. Images of my father filling his mouth and then raising his hand to me also return.

  “No, no, nothing like that.” A warm hand cups my cheek, and those blue eyes look up at me, so innocent, so sweet. I want to kiss her again, and again, and again, but something still holds me back. Or maybe it’s the shift in Katie because the next thing I know, I’m on my back, and she’s between my legs, massaging the upper thigh of my right leg.

  “Oh my God,” I moan for two reasons. It feels good to have her hands on me, helping the ache in my leg, but also, she fucking has her hands on me. The way she’s working the muscle, tender yet tight, causes my dick to rise to full mast. There is no way to disguise it, either. Her shift moved the blankets off me, and I’m in perfect view, wearing only my boxer briefs.

  Katie continues to massage, then lifts my upper thigh. With her hands underneath it, she presses my leg upward, working the stretch. Her eyes focus on the stump of my shin, the loss a few inches below my knee. She inspects it as she presses my leg into my chest, and fuck if I don’t want her to kiss it. Kiss it like I have a goddamn boo-boo instead of a missing limb. I turn my head, closing my eyes and hating myself while she rotates my leg, working it to the side to open the hip. A small crack loosens some of the tension and actually feels good. Katie moves my leg back to the left, brushing my inner thigh over the thickness in my shorts, and I moan.

  She stops, lowers my leg, and freezes. Her eyes focus on the wedge in my briefs. It’s dark in the room, but I never closed the window blinds, and the moonlight outside highlights what’s happened to me.

  I’m fucking hard as a rock.

  “I . . . I’m sorry. I know it happens. I just . . . I’ve made it awkward again.”

  Her eyes remain on my dick, swollen to the max and seriously bulging in my briefs. Her hand lifts, hesitant and slow, reaching forward as if she intends to grab me.

  Holy fuck.

  If her hand touches me. If she wants to touch me. Please God, let her touch me.

  But she retracts.

  “I’m so sorry. I’m so . . . awkward.” Katie leaps over my left leg and stumbles a bit on the floor before making it to the door and gently opening it. She stops only for a second, and I will her to turn around. With all the power in me, I silently beg her to turn around, come back to this bed, and lay on me.

  But she doesn’t.

  She slips into the hallway, and my head falls back on the pillow, groaning in the moonlight at the loss of her.

  And taking matters into my own hands to relieve the new tension in me.

  5

  [Katie]

  Could I be any more awkward?

  I rushed back to my room and leaned against the inner wall. Standing here, knowing he’s just on the other side of the plaster and wood, I tip my head back.

  I almost touched him.

  My eyes close. I’m so embarrassed. While it’s happened a few times in physical therapy—a man getting aroused—I’ve learned to ignore and deflect. With Levi, I was one thousand percent unprofessional because he isn’t my patient. He is a man I’ve crushed on for over ten years, and I had my hands on him. And he was aroused. I’d never seen an arousal so large, so thick, so ready.

  My head tips against the wall, banging softly.

  What was I even doing in his room?

  I’d never been so intrusive, but AJ was crying, and I thought I might be able to help. When I saw the whiskey bottle next to the bed, I just went for AJ. Something inside me triggered, and I couldn’t let him cry with no one comforting him. We both needed to calm down, and the balm of that glider did the trick. Then I saw Levi tossing and turning. His body flinched a time or two. He was muttering something until his lids flipped open. Staring at the ceiling a minute, he got his bearings before sitting upright and finding me in his room.

  All I can think about now is the size of him, bulging and big behind those sexy black boxer briefs, and the way he so nicely filled them out. While I shouldn’t do it, I cannot help myself, and I slip my hands into my own underwear and imagine Levi taking me against a wall like the one at my back. A hallway wall, he’d said. I imagine this future man he talked about. The one who wouldn’t let me go if I was naked. The one who would take me against a wall. But the man in my head is Levi, and I come hard, covering my mouth with one hand while the other is down my own underwear.

  + + +

  “Tom, no, you promised. Everyone together.” The next morning, I find Aunt Karyn arguing with Uncle Tom, her husband, and the birthday boy.

  “What’s going on?” I whisper to my dad. We haven’t spent nearly enough time together since I’ve been here. My father, Jess Carter, is the second son. He’s not as easygoing or laid-back as his older brother. Broody and moody, Aunt Tricia used to call him. A bit of a beast, my grandma would say. He was still a good-looking man in his mid-fifties with strips of gray hidden in his still dirty blond hair. We have the same eyes everyone tells us—denim blue and intense.

  Dad shakes his head at me as if dismissing the argument.

  “It’s only for the morning,” Uncle Tom argues. “Just a couple of hours.”

  “It’s never a couple of hours,” Aunt Karyn replies, crossing her arms. Karyn looks like an Irish dancer with tight curlicued hair, still jet black, and obviously dyed this late in her life. Her ivory skin and fierce green eyes narrow in on her husband.

  “What’s he want?” I whisper to Dad.

  “Tom’s trying to convince Karyn that we need boys' time, and all the guys should go fishing.”

  “Don’t you do that, like all the time?” I tease. My dad and his brother have taken up fly fishing as a new hobby, like a pair of old guys. One day they’re going to be those two grumpy old men sitting in a boat complaining about life, although Tom will probably be laughing about it.

  Dad gives me a sly smile because I’m right. Tom and Dad both worked hard over the years. First, Tom had his own business called QuickFix, and then when my grandpa died, my dad and I moved back here. The two brothers took over Sound Advice, the electrical repair shop their father owned. My dad
also made some invention that he still holds the patent on.

  “Ah, Karyn, let the man have his way,” Uncle Jacob interjects from the table where he’s sitting with his laptop open. He’s the eldest of the older set but young at heart, and he loves to party. Married to my Aunt Pam, he isn’t as tall as my dad or Tom but not short. He’s tough as though he could have been a prize fighter at one time, and he has an amazing imagination and writes fantasy, sci-fi, horror novels.

  “Pam, help me out here. He’s your brother,” Karyn whines to my aunt, the third in line, under my dad in birth order and actually his Irish twin, born eleven months apart. She turns her blond-bobbed head and smiles at her sister-in-law, gazing at her with eyes like my father and myself, bright and blue.

  “When have I ever had leeway over my brother?” she replies with a laugh. “They’ve never listened to me, and neither have you. I told you not to marry him.”

  Just then, Lys comes downstairs with AJ in her arms, and I wonder where Levi is. My vision scans the room to find Leon sitting on one of the couches in the large sitting area attached to the kitchen. He gives his sister a quizzical look, and Tricia enters the kitchen next.

  “What happened to the agenda?” Aunt Tricia asks, holding up a piece of paper that I notice has large red lettering over the page. Tom snatches the paper and pretends to read it.

  “No charts, baby,” Leon mutters, lifting his coffee mug for his mouth.

  “Says fishing, right here.” Tom holds the paper out to everyone, but it’s obvious the bright red ink is an addition.

  “Oh boy,” Leon mutters, shaking his head with a knowing smile. His attention shifts back to his sister once Levi appears, looking freshly showered. Levi walks up to Lys, who’s holding AJ, and kisses his son’s head, then he presses a kiss to Lys’s temple, and she smiles up at him. My heart sinks. For some reason, Leon grabs the baby monitor off the coffee table. He quickly stands and stalks to Levi while Karyn and Tom continue arguing about fishing. My focus is solely on Leon and the murderous gaze he’s aimed at Levi.

  “You might want to make sure this is upstairs when you go to bed.” Leon shoves the device into Levi’s chest, and Levi glances over at me while Leon glares at his sister. “Not everyone wants to hear what you’re doing up there.”

  Leon steps away from Levi, and Lys watches her brother’s retreat. Still, Levi focuses on me, and I’m wondering what just happened here. Did Lys enter Levi’s room? Did something happen between them? It’s a terrible thought, and I quickly dismiss it. Lys is married.

  I look away from the dark gaze on me. I’m dressed for a run and ready to take it to rid my mind of what happened last night.

  “See you guys in a little bit,” I say to no one in particular and slip out the side door for the street.

  This strip of street is a mile or so long and quiet, despite the highway on the other side of homes to my left. The homes on the right are lakeside with the view and the price tag. I’d grown up in this sleepy one stop sign—not even a stoplight—town, so I run in that direction. It’s strange to be in the area but not home. However, with all my family at this large rental, it doesn’t matter. This is an area I love even if I don’t live here now. These are the people I love. Wherever I am with them is my home.

  By the time I return from my run, I’ve convinced myself I can make it through the entire day by ignoring Levi. Not mentioning what almost happened but didn’t happen would save face, just like we’ve ignored those kisses for years. Also, that weird exchange with him and Lys puzzles me, but I decide it isn’t my business. I can’t think of Levi with her. She is sweet but married, so she should be off-limits. However, I did not miss his very open temple kiss to her.

  Yes, ignoring Levi is for the best.

  “So, Levi asked me if he could steal you for part of the day, and as the day’s gone to shit, I approved. He said you’d be leaving at ten,” Tricia explains once I re-enter the house and find her entertaining AJ on the living room floor. I glance at the clock on the oven. It’s nine thirty.

  “Where is Levi?” If he wants to steal me, why didn’t he ask me himself?

  “He went to take a walk with Lys.”

  Interesting. “He didn’t go fishing?” Tom was making that big production about all the men going fishing.

  “Nope. Leon, Jacob, Tom, and Jess went to meet Gavin and Ethan. Boys only.” Levi’s a man, but I get that this is the older crew. I shake my head, knowing those guys always hang out together. It’s nothing special, and it’s all an excuse to day drink.

  “How is Aunt Karyn taking it?”

  “She’s fine. She has Tom’s credit card and just hired a service to give all the girls manis and pedis this afternoon.”

  “That’s like twenty women.”

  “Yep.” Tricia pops the word and leans toward AJ. “Lesson here, little man. Do as the lady says, or hell hath no fury like a woman with her husband’s credit card.”

  + + +

  I shower within the half hour, but I’m not dressed.

  “You aren’t ready,” Levi says to me, startling me as I hadn’t heard him open the door. I’m standing in my room with only a towel around me. “I mean, I like what you’re wearing, but it won’t work for today’s activity.”

  Turning to him, I place my hands on my hips. “You know if you want to make plans with me, you should ask me, not tell Tricia. I’m not a little girl who needs mommy and daddy’s permission for things.”

  “Okay. That was hostile.” One brow arches as he keeps his eyes lasered on mine before lowering to my towel-clad body.

  “Whatever,” I mutter like the child I just said I wasn’t. I turn my back to him, aiming for my suitcase, not certain what to wear for the day.

  “Okay, you’re right. Katie girl, would you do me the honor of going somewhere this morning with me?” His voice softens the longer he asks, and I spin around again to face him. “Tricia said she’d watch AJ for me. Please.”

  Something in that singular word has me giving in, despite the awkwardness of last night and the temple kiss to Lys. They’re friends, I remind myself, and it shouldn’t bother me. Levi can temple kiss whomever he pleases.

  “Fine. Where are we going?”

  “Can it be a surprise? Just know you’ll need jeans and solid toed shoes, cowboy boots if you have them, but tennis shoes might work just fine as well.”

  “Cowboy boots?” I actually do own a pair, but they are in my apartment two hours away. I didn’t expect to need them in the eighty-degree heat of July.

  “Just trust me. Can you do that?” His deep dark eyes plead with mine, and I nod as though my head has a will of its own like my hands did last night. I’m just a pushover with this man.

  Dressed within minutes and sweating in the heat, we leave for our outing, and twenty minutes later, we pull up before Levi’s destination.

  “Randall Ranch?” Surprised at the location, I realize I haven’t been here in years. Randall’s is a place for people to enjoy horseback riding through the woods and canoe trips down the river winding along the property. It’s a bit of an eclectic estate with a motel vibe resort yet a large central dining hall and rental cabins off to the left in the woods. They even have a campground.

  Levi helps himself out of my car as he didn’t get a rental for this trip, and I’m climbing out the passenger door when he comes around to it.

  “Next time, wait for me.” I’m startled by the comment until his hand comes to the door, and I swallow hard. Levi is a gentleman. For some reason, my thoughts flit to how Derek never opened or held a door for me—not a car, not a business, not even our apartment. He just opens a door, and in he walks. It’s rude when I really consider it, but I don’t want to pick apart Derek. I’m suddenly too excited for this day with Levi.

  “Are we horseback riding?”

  “Yes.” His smile grows as does mine, and he leads me inside to register.

  A guide will take us on a tour. Once we near the horses, Levi surprises me again by appearing
confident and calm as he approaches a quiet gelding. He lowers his head to the side of the animal’s and breathes him in a bit, stroking his soft hair. I’m lost in the moment, watching him petting the horse while acting as if the motion soothes him. We grew up in a small town near big bodies of water, and while there is farmland around us, I don’t recall Levi loving horses.

  “Do you ride?” I question. Levi pulls back, keeping his eyes on the horse while his hand wanders along its neck.

  “Not often enough. After I returned Stateside and had trouble finding myself, I ended up at a ranch in Tennessee. It was run by a veteran and used as a rehabilitation center for vets like me, ones stuck in their own heads and missing parts of their bodies.”

  My breath catches at his candidness.

  “I loved that place,” he mutters more to himself than me. “It’s been a long time.” He pats the side of the horse, and I don’t know what he means. What’s been a long time?

  The guide checks the saddle on my horse before helping me up into the seat. Once on top of my own sweet mare, I glance up to find Levi already on his. We follow the guide quietly at first as he points out features to the ranch, but my mind wanders as the guide rambles. Eventually, he stops chattering, and Levi and I fall into a companionable silence for a while.

  The ride lasts an hour and a half, and when we return, something about the trip has made Levi different. I can’t put my finger on it, but he seems sedate, almost peaceful, as though he’s a little high from the ride.

  “I brought us lunch,” he says, surprising me once more, and he takes a bag, a blanket, and a small cooler from my trunk. Leading me to a shady spot under a tree, he spreads the blanket, and I fold down to it. Taking the bag and the cooler from him from my position, I wait as he struggles to the ground.

  “How is it today?” I nod at his leg while trying to ignore his crotch area.

  “Better actually.” He smiles to himself, opening the cooler and handing me a water. “I wanted to explain a little something about last night.”