Living in Your Hell

by Barb Shuler

  “You’re a doll,” Peter yelled out.

  “See y’all later. We might finish today. No promises though,” Trevor said as he started up a ladder. I nodded.

  “No worries, just be safe,” I said.

  “Ah, does that mean no playing doctor with you then?” Peter teased. Trevor slapped him on the back of the head as he got on the beams for the roof.

  “I’m gonna tell Shayna...” I said.

  “Come on, I was kidding,” he grumbled. I laughed and made my way over to where Kaitlyn was playing in the bushes. I scooped her and her bag up. I placed a kiss to her cheek as I made my way over to the car.

  “Looks!” she squealed. I looked down and chuckled at her. The lady bug she had in her hand fluttered its little wings and flew off.

  “I wondered what you were giggling at. Did you play nice with that lady bug?”

  “Yes. I lites lady buds,” she giggled again.

  I couldn’t help but grin as I got her fastened into her car seat. She was a silly little thing, but very inquisitive. I don’t think she was scared of anything - well, bug wise, at least. Strange men made her meltdown. Loud voices made her jumpy, all of which was completely understandable. With her safely in her seat I moved around to the driver’s side. Within a few minutes were were out of the yard and heading to the park.

  I found a parking spot pretty quickly, since it was still early and being a weekday not many people would be out this direction. The running path had a few people on it but no one else was around. I got Kaitlyn out - as soon as her feet hit the ground she took off for the swings. I shut the car door, locked it and headed over to the swings where she was.

  “You swings tooooo!” Kaitlyn all but screamed. I had to “shhh’ her but I couldn’t hold back my laugh.

  “Okay, I’ll swing too, but remember, you have to not scream. You might scare someone,” I said, my eyes going wide as I moved to her. I tickled her sides and loved how she tried to wiggle away from me. I picked her up and sat on the swing, placing her on my lap. She laid back against me, still giggling. I swear, my heart melted again. She filled a piece of me that I hadn’t realized was missing.

  Ten minutes later a rush of noise invaded the park. Car doors were slamming, kids laughing and of course as always, at least one was crying. I waved to Dani Lynn, Kristol and Anna as the kids swarmed the park. I waited to see who was crying so loud. It was baby Gabby - Dani Lynn and Drew’s daughter. I moved to set Kaitlyn on her feet. I grinned as Tyler and Taylor wrapped her in a tight hug. Watching them in awe I was lost in the moment. Kaitlyn went to Ryan and they hugged so tight. They loved each other so much. Kids were selfless like that.

  Damn, they were gonna have me tearing up.

  I sighed and moved over to the double stroller holding both Gabby and Joey - Kristol and Jackson’s son. I had been there to help them into the world, and in a way - as with the other kids I helped birth - they held a part of my heart.

  “Hey now, what’s the matter, munchkin?” I asked as I picked her up, careful to not jar her. These kids could puke at any moment. They were like little vomit machines.

  “Her sister decided to scream at the top of her lungs to tell me she saw you when we pulled up. Like I hadn’t seen you already,” Dani Lynn grumbled. I snorted and moved to the swing. A few minutes of cuddles and the rocking motion of the swing had Gabby calm again. She quickly went back to sleep.

  “So, how’s things going at the house with the reno and having Kaitlyn there? Everything still smooth sailing?” Dani Lynn asked. I turned to her and motioned to the swing beside me. When she sat I looked back over at the kids playing on the jungle gym. This playground was huge. I kept losing sight of one of them. No way to keep them all in sight at once it seemed. I didn’t know if I liked that. I shook that feeling away and moved my gaze back to Dani Lynn.

  “It’s going good. She’s completely adapted to being with us. She’s not had a nightmare in a few days,” I said with a smile.

  “She sleeping in her own bed now?”

  “Most of the night, yes. She wakes up and has to go potty, then wants to go to bed with us,” I laughed. “Usually I can talk her into her own bed. She has her nightlight and her Bubbles, so she feels safe.”

  “Bubbles?” Dani Lynn asked looking at me like I had grown three heads. I snorted.

  “Her elephant. She’s attached to the thing. I need to buy her a new one.”

  “Ah, yeah, I get that. Tyler has her stuffed t-rex. Elijah has a stuffed fish. I think it’s a Nemo. I have to wash them constantly.. And don’t tell Tyler but her rexy has had to be replaced once already,” Dani Lynn said laughing.

  We sat and talked, taking turns watching the kids and making sure the babies were warm enough and satisfied. My attention was pulled from cleaning a scrape on Robbie’s knee when I heard Kristol calling out for Taylor and Kaitlyn. My heart lurched. I ran to where she stood by the teeter totters.

  “Kris, what is it?”

  “They’re gone. I can’t find them. They- they were right here. I turned to help Ryan get her shoes back on.. and…” she panted as she tried to look over us. We all spread out and called to them. Maybe they were just hiding. They liked to do that indoors, maybe they would out here too.

  “Where were they last?” I asked, my voice cracking as we all came back to the center of the park by the swings.

  “On the teeter totters. I swear I only looked away for a minute,” Kristol was in tears, as was I. I hugged her tight and stepped back. I saw Dani Lynn on her cell. I knew help would be on the way, but I was starting to freak out. I had ignored my gut earlier. I knew something was wrong.

  Okay, think. Where would they go? They’d know not to walk off, right? I damn sure knew Taylor knew that. I scanned the area and started off towards the wooded area. The edge of town was just that. A park, a running track and the woods. It was an abrupt stop. My heart hammered as I called out to both kids. Kristol was right behind me, leaving Dani Lynn and Anna to watch the rest of the kids. We checked the run off to the small bathrooms they had out here for anyone that needed them, and nothing.

  I yelled as loud as I could as I hit the tree line. There was a faint noise and both Kristol and I stopped. I glanced around and yelled out both names again. It was then I saw movement down the running track. A man in all black stood staring at us. I narrowed my eyes at him. Friend or foe? He turned and I gasped. He had been standing in front of both Taylor and Kaitlyn. He had a hold of their hands now.

  I took off running. He was so far from us, but there was one thing I did well, and that was run. I gave no thought of what in the hell I was doing, I just ran. I willed my body to move faster. When the sounds of the sirens hit us he pushed past both kids, toppling them over. He ran, but I was determined to catch him. I heard shouts and people thundering across the park after us but I didn’t slow down. Not a chance in hell. I jumped over the guardrail that lined one side of the park and sprinted to try and cut him off. It wasn’t until I got closer that I saw his face. I lost my footing as the man before me pushed into the trees. The denseness made it hard for me to keep up.

  It wasn’t until my face met the forest floor that I stopped. With a groan and curse I pushed up on my hands and knees. My breathing was out of control as was the rage I felt boiling up inside me. My tears started falling before I could stop them. How dare he show back up? How dare he put his filthy hands on those precious babies? If he had hurt them in any way I would hunt him down and string him up to the nearest tree!

  I jerked when footsteps cascaded over me. I covered my head and it took a moment to realize it was Charlie that was pulling me to him. I sobbed into his chest until my body had no more tears. With his help I stood, meeting the gaze of each man before me. Charlie, Drew, Jacks, the Sheriff, and Robert. I looked away and then back into the woods.

  “Shelby Rae McKenna,” Charlie said as he shook me slightly. My gaze met his and he frowned. “What in the hell were you thinking? You don’t run off after people like that,”
he growled.

  I bristled. How dare he. I glared and shoved past him. I couldn’t do this right now. With each step my ankle protested. There was a shooting pain running up my leg. After about ten paces I had to stop and take in a few deep breaths. A warmth started to run down my chest. I straightened slightly and wished I hadn’t. Something had dug into my skin and I was bleeding, in a few spots.

  “Dammit!” I growled out.

  “Sheby!” I heard Kaitlyn call me and I looked up to see her running to me. I scooped her up with a groan and squeezed her to me. I pulled back and kissed her cheek.

  “Please, don’t ever walk away from us again. Okay? It’s not safe to do that,” I told her, my heart hammering as I saw what she had in her hand. “Ka-kaitlyn, give me that, please,” I said, holding my hand out. She placed it in my hand.

  “Him says you needs that,” she nodded, proud of herself. She had no idea what could have happened to her just now. I dropped to my knees and just clutched her to me.

  There was arguing behind me but I ignored it. I took the very dirty, raggedy doll from her and tossed it to the ground. “Don’t take things from strangers. Please.”

  “I-I sowwys,” she said sniffling.

  “It’s okay, no one is mad at you. We just don’t want you to get hurt,” I said, kissing her head.

  “Yo-you beedins,” she stammered as she curled into me more. With a grunt I stood, shaking off Charlie’s hand when he tried to help me up.

  “I’m okay. Just a few cuts and scrapes from where I fell. Can you go over and stay with Dani Lynn and Kristol? Go make sure Taylor is okay?” I asked her. She nodded and gave me a big hug before I set her on her feet. As soon as she was out of earshot I turned on Charlie.

  “I’m sorry,” he said as he lifted my t-shirt a bit to see where I was bleeding. I slapped it down and looked over my shoulder at the raggedy doll.

  “What’s that?” Sheriff Cartwright - Gabe - asked.

  My lip curled as I answered him. My words were filled with venom. “A present from my childhood... from my father.”

  “Fucking hell,” someone muttered. That was all I heard before my world went black.

  14

  Why Now?

  Charlie

  Why is it that just when things start to settle down, something has to happen that stirs up everything again? It's really starting to piss me off.

  Today had started off so well. I'd made love to my wife, came to work, and actually got through to a few people being assholes. We made them see - via some “deep chats” - that what they were doing was wrong.

  And now… this.

  The minute Dani Lynn called and said two of the kids were missing, that they'd possibly run off to play and not said anything, my heart dropped. I won't lie, when I found out Kaitlyn was one of them, my heart almost stopped. That's when the panic set in. Had she really run off to hide like they thought? Had someone come across them and hurt them? Had someone taken them? The list of questions rolled through me as we hauled ass to the end of town where the park and running track was.

  When I pulled up I expected to see the women freaking out, which meant we’d have to console them while we found out what happened. But, no, that's not what we got. At first all I saw was Shelby, with Kristol hot on her heels running full speed down the running track towards… a shadow. From that end of the park, my view sucked.

  When I got a good look at them, my feet moved before I knew it. Kristol stopped at the kids, but not Shelby. Nope, not my wife. She was hot on the heels of the man that had been looming over the kids. Dude was moving slower than she was - but not by much. When she disappeared into the woods I cursed. I wasn't the only one following after her, thank God.

  My anger grew with each step. Finally when I did catch up, she was on the ground. I don't know what came over me, but I shook her, snapping out questions at her like I was a rabid dog with a bone. Her eyes flared and in her resulting silence I knew I'd fucked up.

  My gut clenched when I watched her and Kaitlyn embrace. I'd moved to her side when she fell to her knees, trying to show her I was here for her. I wanted to help her, hold her even. She'd again pushed me away. Not that I blamed her. I had not only snapped at her, I’d let my anger reign free. It wasn’t her fault this had happened.

  That's when it happened. She uttered the words that made my heart stop. My world tipped on its axis when Shelby collapsed only seconds after mentioning her father. The man that had almost killed her as a child was back. He’d had Kaitlyn and Taylor in his grip. We could have come to a totally different kind of scene if he'd have deemed it so. The doll that had been laying on the ground - the one that belonged to a younger Shelby - meant he was here for a reason. The doll was bagged for evidence purposes while I tried to calm myself.

  I had grabbed her just in time to keep her from getting hurt as she dropped to the ground. I sat on the ground, my wife in my arms, bleeding from multiple cuts - which I'm assuming are from her earlier fall - when I heard Kaitlyn cry out.

  “MEDIC!” I hollered out. I saw the EMT’s coming up the path. Someone must have alerted them about possible injuries. I sighed.

  “SHEBY!”

  Kaitlyn pushed away from the hands that reached for her and ran to us. Shit. She collapsed on top of Shelby and screamed. My heart couldn’t take more of this. Our little angel was crying because Shelby was hurt. I had to make this better. I tried to pull her free but she had latched onto Shelby’s neck.

  “Hey, kiddo, can you move aside so I can see what’s going on?” Riley asked from beside us. She took in a deep breath and knelt down, crouching over Shelby.

  “Kaitlyn, come on, lil’ bit,” I tried again and she let her go. I pulled her to me as Shelby stirred in my lap. “Shelby, baby, come on. Open your eyes for me.”

  “Shelby. Doctor Grant, can you tell me where you are?”

  “McKenna,” I snapped.

  Riley gave me a sour look and went back to doing what she was. I saw the blood pressure cuff come out. I scooted back some. The EMT’s assessed her and as soon as I was able to get up I stood, pulling Kaitlyn away with me. I rubbed her back and kept my eyes on my wife.

  “What in the hell happened, Gabriel!?” Doc’s booming, angry voice filled the air and Kaitlyn jerked against me as she called down to Shelby.

  “Shhh, It’s okay, lil bit… she’ll be okay,” my voice cracked as I watched Shelby come back to us. The blinking of her big blue eyes had my heart leaping. Thank you, Jesus.

  The sound of motorcycles drew our attention to the parking lot. Stella, Tracey and Chipper dismounted, and headed our way. Stella stopped to chat with the girls and I was sure they were giving her everything that we missed since we were immediately in hot pursuit of an unknown man-figure and Shelby.

  “Wh-what happened?” Shelby asked, her voice low and husky. I moved to kneel beside her and took her hand as Kaitlyn clung to me.

  “Hey, don’t talk. Not yet. Give your body a minute. You passed out. I think you had a lot on your mind and it needed a reset,” I said, gripping her hand tighter. Her eyes met mine and the tears falling from the corners of her eyes made my stomach turn.

  “The cuts all look minor, nothing is bleeding now. They should be fine with a good cleaning and bandaging. Your blood pressure is a little high.. But I guess I can see why,” Riley said, giving her partner, Abe, a look.

  “I’m-I’m fine,” Shelby said as she moved to sit up. Her eyes closed and a minute later she was looking around.

  “I’m fine. I need help up, that’s all,” she looked at me when she spoke.

  I shifted Kaitlyn to my left hip and held my good hand out to her. I slowly pulled her to her feet. Her arms went around me and she buried her face into me and Kaitlyn. I could feel her body shaking with a silent sob. I would pay anything right now to be able to scoop her up and walk away but I couldn’t. It was making my shoulder hurt, the way I was holding Kaitlyn, so my cast didn’t scratch her legs. And now, my wife was sobbing.

  I
leaned in and whispered against her head. “Shh, I’ve got you, baby.” I ran my hand along her back and held her to me. When Doc came over - damn, the man look murderous. He moved to pull Shelby to him and a new wave of tears flowed from her. I turned away and took a breath. God, give me strength. I wanted to hunt her father down and beat him into the mud.

  “Chawie,” Kaitlyn said as she patted my cheek. I brought my head down, my gaze meeting hers. “Yous swishing me.”

  I grunted and moved her to my good side. “I’m sorry, lil’ bit.” I kissed her cheek and looked over to where Shelby and Doc stood. He was murmuring to her. I could see she was calmer now. Kaitlyn was staring at them, as if she was scared Shelby may disappear. I sighed, again. My frustration level was at a thousand percent.

  “Hey, Cutie Pie. What say you come with me and the munchkins go see Shay Shay?” Stella said, holding her arms out. Kaitlyn shrunk back into me and I raised a brow.

  “Go on, lil’ bit, it’s okay,” I said softly as I kissed her head.

  “No leebes Sheby an-ans Chawie,” she stuttered out. I could feel her tense up as Stella moved closer. I gave a slight shake of my head. Damn, this wasn’t good for either of them.

  “Okay, cutie. If you change your mind, you can have Charlie drop you off. I’ll save you some ice cream,” Stella told her before walking away.

  I watched everyone else leave the park to head to Shayna’s. I turned to Gabe and the boys. “What’s next?” I asked. Their eyes went to the sweet little girl in my arms. My gaze went back to them.

  “A call was made to the Police Department. They have a K-9 unit. They’ll be here in a few to search for his scent trail. We’ll find him, and figure out what in the hel-”

  “We’ll figure out what he was doing here,” Drew said, cutting Gabe off mid curse.

  I nod. “Sounds good.”

  “They’re here,” Jacks said. His body was still primed and ready for a beat down. I knew how he felt. We turned to the approaching officers.

  “Sheriff Cartwright, I'm Lieutenant Daniel Ridgewood,” the man said as he shook Gabe’s outstretched hand. “I’m sure you know Officer Ron Kruger and Officer Justin Seabrooks. We heard you had an incident. The Chief sent us over saying you needed our help?” Ridgewood scanned the area as he spoke.