Yuletide Present

by Deirdre O'Dare

  The blond man seemed almost fearful, which struck Sean as odd, but up close, Sean could see he was very nice looking. He had a quality Sean could only describe as sweetness about him, something almost childlike and clearly eager to please. Sean’s fingertips brushed the other man’s hand as he took the athame and two candles from him to hold for a moment. A quick tingle of energy zipped up his arm. From the other man’s sudden tension, Sean felt sure he had sensed the same thing.

  Together they soon had the altar arranged and ready. “I guess I should introduce myself,” the fair man said. “I’m Rob Cantwell. I—I’m kind of an understudy or assistant to Daniel Costeau, the Arch Mage. He has such a huge responsibility that he needs someone to do the grunt work. I try to do the best job I can because it’s all so very critical, so essential. I just wish I was more capable.”

  Sean smiled. “I’m Sean Cassidy. It’s been awhile but I grew up in a coven with my folks. They weren’t the leaders but senior members and had a share in the sabbats and ceremonies. It looks to me like you have the set-up all down to the gnat’s eyelash.”

  Rob sighed. “I try. I often mess up but I do try. I want so much to learn and become reliable, error-free. I think I’m just a natural klutz and fuck-up though.”

  “Hey, don’t put yourself down like that. If you didn’t grow up in a coven or circle, how could you expect to know everything right off? I take it you’re not a lifelong Wiccan?”

  Rob showed a rueful grin as he shook his head. “Oh no, my stepfather was a fire-eating Baptist preacher. I’ve just been—well, Daniel took me under his wing a few months ago.”

  Sean wanted to reach out and give the other man a hug. Something told him Rob had endured a lot of tough times and brought a heavy load of bad baggage into his adult life. Although he was no expert, Sean saw abused children and teens in his medical work and Rob displayed many similar cues.

  Maybe that was why he seemed younger than his apparent age. Sean guessed Rob was about twenty-five, no more than a couple of years younger than he was, even though the fair man acted about sixteen. Despite that, he found Rob very attractive and a strange desire to protect him had emerged almost at once.

  “Did you just come to visit and check us out? I wrote the notice Daniel put in the local paper. We’re hoping to get some new folks to join us. With the factory shutting down, a lot of people have had to move and we’ve lost some members.”

  “I saw that ad,” Sean admitted. “It spoke to me, somehow. I’ve been away from my Wiccan roots quite a while and it just called to me, said it was time to think about returning. You wrote a very good invitation.”

  This time Rob actually blushed. “Thank you, thank you again. I thought it was kind of juvenile or maybe too folksy, but Daniel said it would do.”

  Sean socked him on the shoulder, but with a gentle bump. “No way. It got me here so it had to be right.”

  At that moment, Daniel strode to his place at the altar and the rest moved into their apparent accustomed places around the circle. Sean wound up standing between Rob and Mike. Although some of the invocations they spoke in unison were slightly different from those he recalled, it all felt very comfortable and welcoming. His mother always said everything happened for a reason. While he had a hard time applying that to his parents’ and sister’s deaths, it did seem applicable to his reading and responding to that small notice.

  Except for Daniel, who he felt was too full of himself with overweening arrogance, everyone seemed to be good hearted and pleasant. After the ceremony they had a social hour and enjoyed cookies and punch that some of the long term members had furnished. Sean met and spoke to everyone, many when they made a point of greeting him. There were four couples, five other single guys and three single women.

  Already he could visualize himself becoming a part of the group. He might even grow close to some of them in time, especially Rob.

  * * * *

  Rob peddled his bike along the edge of the street, enjoying the crisp fall day.

  Scattered leaves crinkled beneath his wheels. It felt good to be outside. One thing about Wicca he really treasured was his new awareness of nature, its changing seasons and the world around him. Even more, the feeling of kinship with that world. When he was growing up he’d just taken it for granted and considered weather and the seasons either an aid or a detriment to whatever he needed or wanted to do. He knew better now.

  Here at the foot of the Rockies, there were distinct seasons, something he hadn’t observed in Phoenix, in his younger days.

  Parking his bike and locking it to the rack in front of Melly and Steve’s Lemuria Risen book store, he took a final look around before he went in to begin his afternoon shift. He’d been working for the couple, who were members of the coven, for about six months now, starting shortly after he had met and moved in with Daniel. Although the occult section was the heart of the store, it had many other offerings as well. Located just a short block off the campus of Dellview’s branch of the state university, it reached out to students and staff members as well as the surrounding community.

  The hours he spent at the shop had become his favorites. He’d always loved books and sharing this enthusiasm with the patrons brought him out of his shell as few other activities could. He loved seeing old customers and welcoming new people who wandered in to explore.

  Rob had just finished guiding a couple of students to the literature section when the tinkle of the bells hung on the door alerted him to someone’s arrival. He hurried back out front to see who it might be. When he saw Sean heading toward him, his heart skipped a couple of beats and then raced ahead. He’d been looking forward to seeing the other man at the coven’s next gathering, but that was still three days away.

  Sean beamed. “I heard you worked here. What luck, to find you the very first time I tried.”

  “Can I help you find something, or did you just want to explore?”

  “Oh, I’m a reader all right, and I’ll be a customer soon, but this evening I came to see you. We didn’t get chance to talk much the other evening. It almost seemed like Daniel teleported between us every time we started a conversation. Is he—well, does he have some claim on you?”

  “I—er—well, he’s my teacher and mentor. Mostly. I’ve been living with him for several months now. It—it’s kind of complicated.”

  Sean tipped his head and studied him with a pair of keen hazel eyes, bright and touched with elfin mischief. Rob felt the auburn-haired stranger could probably see right through him. After a moment, Sean nodded.

  “Okay, I think I get it, but that doesn’t prevent you from having other friends, does it? I really liked you and hoped we can get better acquainted. I’m new here too, just starting my first real job after the military and some added schooling. I’m a nurse at Dellview General. Right now I’m working in the ER. Maybe in these smaller cities male nurses are still kind of a novelty. At least I seem to be.”

  Rob had to smile back. Sean seemed so earnest and yet so charming and outgoing. “Getting acquainted—I’d like that. I’d like that a lot.”

  “I noticed the store closes at eight except for Fridays and Saturdays. Does that mean you’re free shortly afterwards?”

  “Unless Steve or Melly comes in to lock up, I have to do that but it isn’t a very complex procedure. I’m usually ready to go by eight thirty.”

  “Super. Would you like to go out for a drink, just hang out for a bit, then? Being Wednesday, it’ll be a quiet evening, which suits me perfectly. I’m not big on partying.”

  “Oh neither am I.” Rob assured him. “There’s a great coffee house and beer garden just around the corner. It’s a student hang out, but other people go there too.

  Would that suit you?”

  “Perfect,” Sean declared. “Can I help you with any of the closing chores? I suppose you have it all down pat, though, so I’d only get in your way.”

  “Not really but I might forget something if I don’t follow the routine. Daniel says I’m too
scatterbrained and I have the attention span of a kindergarten age gnat. Why don’t you just look around and check out our offerings? I’ll come get you when I’m ready to go.”

  Chapter 3

  Although Sean suggested Rob put his bike in the back of Sean’s pickup, he decided to leave it locked at the bookstore. “I can walk around the corner,” he explained. “And I really can’t afford to lose that bike. It’s all the transportation I have for now.”

  Sean knew their destination well enough, too. Although he’d only been in Dellview about two months, he’d managed to look around some and had stopped in the coffee shop on one of his days off. He liked the atmosphere—very casual and laid back. Although most of the patrons were probably students, they didn’t seem to be the loud and rowdy sorts. He’d seen enough of that in the military from the younger troops he’d served with.

  Just inside the main door, they stopped. Sean turned to Rob. “Are you in the mood for a craft beer or would you prefer coffee?”

  “I can do either one,” Rob replied. “Whatever you prefer will be fine.”

  Once again Rob’s deferential manner struck Sean as odd. What in the world had the other man been through to become so unassertive? He seemed almost timid, as if he feared to offend or step one pace beyond his safe, shadowy world. It was as if he hid within a Harry Potter style cloak of invisibility. He didn’t want to be noticed.

  “No, I insist you choose,” Sean said. He was going to start breaking Rob out of his strange prison and he wouldn’t quit until he had the job done!

  Rob hesitated a moment, took a breath and let it out. “They make a wonderful latte,” he said at last. “All the flavors are good but I’m partial to the caramel.”

  “Works for me,” Sean replied. They placed their orders, collected the steaming cups and made their way to a quiet table in an out-of-the-way corner. By this hour, most of the patrons were in the beer garden, which was now much busier and noisier.

  “Until the other night, I didn’t realize how much I missed being a part of a coven. I was raised in a Wiccan family so it was almost a homecoming for me. The only thing that didn’t feel totally comfortable was Daniel, your leader. Our old circle never had anyone like that. There really wasn’t a leader at all. People tended to take turns guiding the rituals.”

  Rob looked at him with surprise. “Really? You say all covens are not like ours?

  This is my first experience with Wicca. My parents, especially my stepfather, were Evangelical Christians and very strict. I didn’t want to continue in that life when I left home. Then Daniel took me under his wing—almost literally with that cape…” He paused and laughed, then looked embarrassed for the minor levity. “Anyway, that’s how it’s been as long as I have been here. People have left and I just began to realize that perhaps some of them didn’t want that brand of leadership. Oh my…”

  Rob looked intently at Sean then, a mixture of emotions painting his expressive face. Sean reached out and put one hand over Rob’s. He had clenched them together on the table and now twisted them. “Wait, I didn’t mean to criticize or upset you. There’s probably no one ‘right’ way. It’s what each group wants, needs, and accepts.”

  After a moment, Rob looked down at their hands, a sadness slipping over his face. “You’ve made me think, though. I—well, Daniel can be somewhat overbearing, actually quite harsh at times. I thought it was just me, my many failings and his efforts to make me grow, but he’s been close to that severe to others at times. I just chose not to notice or thought it was my imagination. I think I wanted to see him as perfect…”

  “I don’t imagine he encourages you to have other friends, does he?”

  Rob looked up, his gaze flying to meet Sean’s. “How did you know that?”

  “Just a guess. You had to think before you agreed to come here with me this evening. Will he be upset with you when you get home?”

  “Not unless I’m very late. Then he’d worry. The crime rate has been going up recently, and the streets can be dangerous at night.”

  Sean could see Rob hedged, but he caught the flash of worry in the other man’s expression. “We’ll make sure not to be very late, then. I’ll drive you home. That’ll save some time.”

  They turned the conversation to more casual topics then as they sipped the lattes.

  Sean kept an eye on the clock above the cashier’s station. A bit before ten, he suggested they leave. He walked back to the bookstore with Rob and waited while he unlocked the bike. It was a nice ten-speed, and Sean could understand why Rob didn’t want to lose it. He reached to help heft it into the bed of his pickup. Their hands collided and they almost dropped it, both suddenly clumsy and unsure.

  Sean set the bike down and reached, putting a hand on each of Rob’s shoulders.

  “Calm down,” he said. “We’re going to be friends. I don’t care whether Daniel likes it or not. Don’t let him browbeat you. You’re too fine a person to endure that. It’s not like you have nowhere else to go. Not really. In fact, there’s space in my house if you ever need somewhere to crash.”

  Rob drew a shaky breath. “Thank you for that. I won’t forget.” Lightning fast, he turned his head and brushed his lips across the fingers of Sean’s left hand, curled over his right shoulder. Then he twisted away. “We’d better go. Do you know where it is?”

  “I looked Daniel Cousteau up in the phone book,” Sean admitted. “I presume it’s the same guy. He’s listed on 233 Elm. That’s an older and well-established area of town.

  He must be quite well to do.”

  “That’s correct,” Rob said. “It’s a nice house but older and a bit run down, to be totally honest. I think he inherited the place. I’m not sure if it was his family home or not. Really I know very little about him, about his past.”

  “He probably wants it that way,” Sean muttered to himself. He was glad Rob didn’t ask him to repeat it.

  The drive up to Elm only took a few minutes. Rob scrambled out as soon as Sean pulled in at the curb. “Thanks for the lift,” he said. “You don’t need to get out. I’ll just grab my bike and you can be on your way.”

  Rob was clearly flustered, but not wanting to upset him anymore, Sean complied. “Thanks for joining me. I’ll see you Saturday.”

  As Sean drove away he saw Rob, holding the bike, looking almost like a lost and frightened little kid. The troubling impression stuck with him. Something was very wrong with this whole picture. Although it should be none of his business, something seemed to insist he make it his business. Already, he found Rob too special a man to abandon.

  * * * *

  Rob watched Sean drive away, a sinking feeling of sadness in his belly. It would be so good to have a friend like Sean—maybe even a lover! He wasn’t sure where that idea came from because Sean hadn’t said or done anything to indicate he was gay, much less interested in Rob that way. Still, a guy could dream.

  Despite dreams, though, he had to go in and face whatever Daniel might feel he deserved. It wasn’t very late. Perhaps it would be okay. He locked his bike to the porch rail and let himself in as quietly as he could. Maybe Daniel had been reading or meditating and not noticed the time. No such luck.

  “Robbie, is that you—finally? You’d better come here and explain what took you so long.”

  Despite a twinge of guilt, which he really shouldn’t have to feel, the preemptory tone grated. The harsh words scraped his nerves even more than they normally did. He started toward the door into the room Daniel called his study. Still, he paused at the portal. “Damn it, my name is Rob. Why do you insist on calling me Robbie?”

  “I call you Robbie because you insist on acting more like a child than a man.

  Robbie is a child’s name. I let you take the job at the bookstore in hopes it would help you learn more responsibility. I thought Steve and Melinda might get through to you in ways I can’t seem to. Ye gods, man, you’re twenty-three, not thirteen!”

  Rob tried to find his backbone but it seemed to hav
e turned to a well-cooked noodle. “I’m sorry. I’m really not very late. I closed tonight and…”

  “That took more than an extra hour?”

  “No, I closed, like I started to say, and then went around to the coffee shop with a customer to chat for a few minutes. I watched the time and came straight home from there.”

  Daniel rose from his chair, tossed the book he’d been reading onto the side table and strode to where Rob had stopped, just inside the room. Rob forced himself to stand, stiffening his back and holding his head up. He couldn’t quite meet Daniel’s cold onyx gaze but he looked just past the other man; perhaps that was close enough. He had no idea what was coming. So far there had been no mention of the dragon. His arms still ached, and his cock and balls twinged when he remembered that past incident. His knees wobbled.

  Daniel simply looked at him for a timeless interval. Finally he made a sound somewhat like a snort. “Oh fuck it. Go upstairs and get undressed. I’ll be there in a few minutes. Just in case your ‘customer’ was male, I intend to refresh your memory as to who you lover is as well as your mentor, benefactor and protector. Remember, you were homeless, starving and living like a scared rat when I took you in. You could be back there again.”

  No, I won’t. If you decide to throw me out I could at least go to Sean’s place until I find something else. He said I could. Rob didn’t speak that thought but he held it close and repeated it like a mantra as he turned his back and took the stairs, two by two. For the first time he wondered if Daniel’s professed love was sincere or simply a sop thrown to him to help maintain control. His stepfather had sometimes professed to love him, too, despite the sinner and screw up he endlessly reminded Rob that he was.

  After Rob undressed, he drew the heavy spread back and folded it neatly along the foot of Daniel’s king sized bed. Then he lay down. He hesitated for a few seconds but decided to position himself face down. Daniel always said he found Rob’s ass most attractive and perhaps that would please him. It also conveyed a degree of submission which again Rob knew Daniel wanted.