Love's Suicide

by Jennifer Foor

  I’d seen and read so many stories regarding abused women. In my opinion, things hadn’t gotten so bad that I feared for my life. I’d been slapped around and threatened, but never beaten to the fear of losing my life, like other women. Still, knowing that he was willing to hurt me was enough to scare me for what might come.

  Given the right circumstance, and if he’d been drinking, seeing me with Brooks could put Bobby over the edge. There was a chance that when I got home he was going to stalk and wait for Brooks to leave so he could hurt me and hurt him. I feared that in Bobby’s eyes, if he couldn’t have me, neither could Brooks.

  I kept a smile on my face while in the kitchen with my family and pretended to be overjoyed with being home. I was overjoyed, but at the same time, I was scared; scared of them not knowing the truth and how dangerous it could be, and scared of what would happen if they ever did find out.

  Needless to say, I had a lump in my throat for the whole time we ate breakfast and even as we cleaned it up. It was a blessing that Brooks was too infatuated by B to notice that I was falling apart inside. He was usually the first person to be able to read what went on in my head.

  After breakfast was cleaned up, I retreated to our room to change into my bathing suit. Since I knew everyone in the house was downstairs, I took a few minutes to calm down before I was face to face with Brooks. After giving myself a pep-talk in my head, I walked downstairs determined to make our last day full of happy memories. After all, we were all reunited, even if there was still things to be worked out, we were on the right track.

  Climbing in the pool and being greeted by my beautiful daughter and her equally handsome father was like instant comfort. My fake smile was replaced with real ones and I felt like life couldn’t get any better. I’d never felt so in love and happy to be where I was at.

  Brooks pulled me into his arms with our daughter and floated us around together. B kept laughing when we kissed and telling us to do it again. She didn’t say the curse word again either, which was always a great thing.

  Melissa and Branch were poolside, discussing some wedding plans with Walt about the hall they wanted to hold the reception in. One thing I noticed was that they were holding hands and neither of them were paying any attention to me, Brooks or even B.

  They’d moved on together and I was at peace with that, as long as they were happy. I didn’t even care if they were secretly in love with each other when I’d been engaged to Branch. All I cared about was moving forward. Finally, my life had meaning and I’d do whatever I had to do to protect it.

  We swam for a long time, only getting out when our skin looked like prunes. B sat in her red bikini, with her daddy’s sunglasses on, sipping a large glass of iced tea. She looked like a little grown-up, while being the cutest thing I’d ever seen. It didn’t help that Brooks told her she was beautiful every two seconds.

  After burgers and my most favorite broccoli salad with bacon, we all got back in the pool. Branch and Melissa joined us, especially giving their attention to B. She laughed and giggled, somehow realizing the difference between her daddy and her uncle.

  When we were children, the other kids would ask me how I could tell them apart. I could never explain it, but somehow knew it. B didn’t have to search her heart to know it though. Aside from the dog tags, Brooks’ skin was tanned, from being outside, while Branch was paler from working in an office. Besides, even though Branch clearly had fallen in love with his niece, his eyes didn’t sparkle when she walked into the room, like her daddy’s did.

  Danica got up from her lounge and asked everyone if we wanted more tea. She hurried into the house to get another pitcher, while we all kept playing around and enjoying the perfect day.

  She came back outside a few minutes later without the pitcher. I didn’t notice her face until she addressed me. “Katy, can you come inside for a second?”

  I walked inside after putting a towel around my wet body. “What is it?”

  “There’s someone in the other room that’s asking for you. He said he has something for you. I had my hands full when I answered the door, so I didn’t ask his name.”

  “Is it a delivery? Maybe Brooks ordered me something.” I heard her going back outside as I made my way into the family room.

  I didn’t understand who could be visiting, but figured I needed to see. I hadn’t told anyone I was home, nor did I have many friends other than Brooks and Branch growing up.

  For a moment I thought Danica was playing a joke on me, like she used to do to cheer me up. She’d been so happy having us back that I wouldn’t have put it past her.

  I didn’t make it out of the kitchen before he started walking in the room toward me.

  Staring at me, in the only home I’d ever felt safe in, was Bobby. I could tell from one glance that he hadn’t showered in days. His hair was a mess and his facial hair was looking more like a beard. I immediately began to tremble, looking behind me to make sure that nobody was coming. “Bobby, what are you doing here? How did you find me?”

  He laughed and right away I could tell he’d been drinking. I didn’t know how much or for how long, but it was obvious in the way he held himself up. “Does it matter? I’m here and I ain’t leavin’ until you’re with me.”

  I shook my head and crossed my arms over my chest. “No. I’m not going anywhere. I’m here with my family.”

  “Yeah, I seen you and lover boy through the window. Do you really think I’m just goin’ to let you be happy after you ruined my life?” He leaned up against the counter and I walked to the other side to put distance between us. Every few seconds I looked out the door hoping Brooks was coming after me.

  My eyes focused on Bobby. “Leave!”

  “You’re comin’ with me, Katy. I drove all damn night to get here. Get your shit and come on.”

  I started crying. “Bobby, please don’t do this. They are my family. You know they’re all I had growing up. Please, I’m begging you to go. They don’t know about you. They can’t. I promise, I’ll sit down and talk to you when we get home tomorrow night. Please, don’t do this here.”

  He began laughing loudly. “You didn’t tell them about me?” More laughs were followed by the most horrifying eyes. “I’m your fuckin’ husband, you two-timing bitch. If you’re here, I have every right to be.” He started coming toward me and I ran around the island to get away from him. He laughed at me again, picked up an apple out a bowl and threw it at me. I ducked and it smashed against a cabinet above my head. “You’ve got two seconds to get your ass in my truck, or I’m goin’ out there and fillin’ in your little family about us.”

  I was sobbing, trying desperately to get up the courage to scream for help. I took a glance outside and saw my daughter being thrown up in the air and coming back down in her daddy’s arms. I knew she was safe and if something bad happened to me, she’d be loved and taken care of.

  Then I turned back to Bobby, knowing I had to get him out of the house. “I’ll go get my things.”

  He grabbed my arm as I walked by and I cringed at the idea of him hurting me in front of them. I kept my eyes closed as the tears poured out of them. “You really think I’d let you go get your things without me? Darlin’ you’re not goin’ anywhere, unless I’m with you.”

  I jerk my arm away from him. “Fine, come on. I don’t want them seeing me, so let’s hurry.”

  I ran up the stairs and heard him following me. When we walked into Brooks’ room, I realized what Bobby must have been thinking. I started putting my things in my bag, refusing to look at him.

  I heard the mattress moving and knew he was sitting down on the bed. Out of the corner of my eye I watched him feeling the sheets with the palm of his hand. “So this is where you’ve been fuckin’ him?”

  I turned to say something, anything to get him to shut up, and saw the knife being opened up. He traced the blade with his fingers.

  At that very moment I feared for what was coming. I honestly thought he was going to stab me to death
while my whole family was outside having fun. Flashes of Brooks finding me bleeding out ran through my head.

  “Please don’t hurt me, Bobby. Please don’t take me away from B.”

  “Like you took her from me?” he snapped.

  “Please, it’s not the same.” I felt terrible that he was hurting, but also knew that this could have been avoided. He’d been the one that made me leave. I was willing to try to be friends with him. I would have done the right thing.

  “You took everything from me.” He stabbed the bed, going through the sheets and mattress. My body jumped when it made contact and he continuing cutting long marks in it. When he pulled the knife away, a half-assed K was carved into the bed. I covered my face with my hands and trembled as he pointed it right at my face. “Get your shit and let’s go.” He’d obviously seen Brooks’ tattoo. I wondered how long he’d been watching us in the backyard before he’d decided to knock on the door.

  I stood up with my bag and started walking, as he followed behind me. I didn’t know if the knife was close, and I wasn’t going to look back to see. All I knew was that I had to get out of the house and get Bobby as far away from Brooks and B as I could.

  No matter what this crazy man did to me, I wanted them safe. If it was my last dying wish, I knew I’d get it, because Brooks would kill Bobby before he let him anywhere near our beautiful daughter.

  Chapter 50

  I wanted to make a scene on the front lawn, so that Brooks or anyone would come to my rescue. He was going to be so mad when he realized what was happening. More than I was afraid of Bobby, I was scared of what Brooks was going to do to him. He’d spent his entire life protecting and loving me. I could hardly imagine him taking Bobby’s new destructed plan to hurt me, lightly. Brooks was going to hurt Bobby and I feared that it would cost him his position in the military.

  Bobby shoved me against the truck. I got my footing and looked right at him, not showing him how scared I was. The more I feared him, the more he’d push me. I had to be strong, even when inside I was falling apart.

  “Get in.”

  “Please don’t do this. I have a protective order against you. Coming here is breaking the law and making me go with you is even worse. Think about what you’re doing. They’ll never let you see her. Please don’t do this.”

  He got up against me, pressing his face against my cheek. I heard my luggage get thrown into the cab while he spoke. “You think I give two shits about your protective order? I could care less about a fuckin’ piece of paper. Get in the truck, Katy, or I’ll put you in there.”

  I kept watching the door, hoping to see the other half of my heart come running out to save me. Bobby caught me and put his hands around my throat. “There’s nothin’ he can do to stop me, either. This is between you and me.”

  “What are you planning?” The tears streamed down my face. “Are you going to kill me, lock me away in a dungeon? You can’t keep me from them unless you plan on killing me.”

  I was petrified of him, but more about what he was going to do to me. The only advantage I had was the fact that he’d been drinking and probably not sleeping. His ability to think fast would be off and I had to use it against him.

  “This is the last time I’m goin’ to tell you. Get in the truck and shut the hell up.”

  The truck seat was filled with the scent of spilled bourbon and as I went to climb in, a bottle fell into the street, shattering on the concrete. Bobby took off as soon as I’d shut the door. Out of the mirror, I watched the house getting smaller and further away from me. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall, imagining something terrible happening to me. I’d never been so scared of Bobby, but he’d hunted me down and pulled me away from happiness. “What are you going to do to me? Are you going to hurt me now? Are you planning on killing me?”

  He laughed and took a sip from another bottle of liquor. The stench of him was horrible. He reeked and I had to cover my nose with my hand to keep from getting sick. My body was still wet from being in the pool and I didn’t have any shoes on. If I tried to jump out, he’d just come back and get me again. I didn’t have a phone, or any means of signaling anyone for help.

  I kept watching the mirror, thinking I’d see Brooks running out into the middle of the street. We turned the corner and I knew it was too late. Even if he came in to check on me, I was already gone.

  Soon he would have to explain to the family about who Bobby was and why my life was probably in danger. “How did you find me? I never told you their address.”

  “That was easy. I listened to your messages from that girl Melissa. Once I knew where you were, I looked up the Valentine’s address. There ain’t that many Danica Valentines around, Katy. Did you think you could hide from me? I’ll find you, no matter where you go. There ain’t no way I’m lettin’ my wife shack up with some other man without her bein’ taught a lesson. When I’m done with you, he’ll never want you again.”

  I cried harder and leaned my head against the window. Bobby reached over and touched my leg. I pulled away quickly, not wanting his hands on me. “Don’t touch me!”

  The back of his hand made contact with my face. “Talk to me like that again and you’ll be sorry.”

  I’d had enough already. “I hate you. Anything I ever felt for you is gone.”

  He grabbed my shoulder and the truck started swerving around the road. “What did you say?”

  I shoved him off of me and watched as he steadied the vehicle. “I said I hate you. You’re never going to see my daughter, Bobby. There’s no way Brooks will let you near her. Everything that’s happening to you is because of your actions. You did this to yourself.”

  “You can’t keep her from me. I’ll take your ass to court. I’ll prove you to be unfit. I have the whole damn town on my side. How do you plan on winning when I grew up with the damn judge’s kids? It’s my word against yours. All they’re goin’ to see is my cheating wife trying to move her lover in. Mark my word, I’ll be in her life. You think that you can just replace me? I’ve done everything for you, you ungrateful little bitch.”

  His punch hit my arm instead of my face. I covered the spot with my hand as the pain throbbed. My sobs were loud, but nobody could hear them. I kept closing my eyes and feeling comfort in knowing that my baby was safe from this monster. “What happened to you? I don’t even know you. What happened to the man that cared about people?”

  “What happened? Are you kiddin’ me? You happened. I gave you my heart and you ripped it apart; you and that soldier. You’re my wife, Katy. You said those vows to me.”

  “You married me as my friend. I didn’t love you and you knew it. I tried, but I can’t help it that you’re not Brooks. You’ll never be him, Bobby, and you know it.”

  He slapped me again, but this time I held up my hands, blocking him from making contact with my face. The sting from the first blow was still lingering, but I wasn’t concerned about it. What I was concerned about was his determination to hurt me. The more he tried, the more angry I became.

  This man was trying to take away my happiness. After everything I’d gone through; all of the pain that I’d suffered in my life, he was trying to hurt me more.

  Something inside of me snapped. No longer was I going to sit there and take it. It was up to me to save myself and my future. I was going to have to make a desperate move, fueled by my fear of losing everything.

  While he took one glance back at the road, I took the bottle of bourbon on the seat between us and slammed it into the side of his face. His head hit the window as the bottle shattered, knocking him unconscious. I tried to reach for the steering wheel and get my foot up to the brake, but we were already heading straight into oncoming traffic. I closed my eyes and turned the wheel hard to avoid hitting the cars. That’s when the truck lost control.

  Maybe I should have considered that he wouldn’t just stop the car, or that hitting him would cause him to lose control of the moving vehicle. At that moment all I cared about was hurting him.<
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  I wanted him to feel what it was like to have someone take out their anger on his face. I wanted him to hurt, like he’d repeatedly hurt me.

  I suppose if I was buckled into my seat belt it would have been easier to withstand injuries. I remember the vehicle flipping three times before landing upside down. Traffic stopped on both sides of the road and I could hear the people calling in asking if we were alright. My body was tangled up against the ceiling, while Bobby hung unconscious in his seat belt. I tried to scoot myself away from him, but I couldn’t move.

  I remember screaming when the intense pain hit me. That was when I realized that I wasn’t just tangled up against the ceiling of a rolled truck. The pain in my back was the worst that I could ever describe. “Help me! Please, someone,” I cried out.

  “Bobby.” I reached for him and got no response. “Bobby, wake up.” I kept trying to reach him, to shake him awake. Blood ran down from his face where I’d hit him, but moving my arms was impossible.

  He was dangling above me and I couldn’t do anything to help either of us. I didn’t know what to do, so I kept screaming his name. “Bobby, wake up. Please wake up. Just hold on. Help is coming.”

  I wanted out of this situation. More than anything I wanted to see my baby. I needed to be home and safe in Brooks’ arm.

  Bobby stirred, getting my attention. He grumbled something under his breath and passed out again. “No, no, no. Bobby wake up. Please, hang on. Help is coming.”

  As much as I hated him, I felt horrible for making this happen to us. Sure, I wanted him to suffer, but not like this.

  He wouldn’t wake up, and I could hear people outside of the vehicle telling us both to hold on. Sirens were in the distance, and I knew they were coming for us.

  I closed my eyes and thought about my family; not just Brooks or B. I thought about all of them and the possibility of earlier being the last time I ever saw any of them.