Expecting You

by Claire Cullen

  “Mostly, he told me to get my head out of my ass.”

  “Oh.” It could have been worse.

  “Funny thing is, William said almost the same thing when I told him I thought I was falling for you. He said the only one standing in the way of my happiness was me.”

  Zac’s brain did the equivalent of a record scratch, repeating Beckett’s words over and over. “Falling for me?”

  Beckett reached across the table and clasped his hand. “Head over heels. From the moment we kissed.”

  “We shouldn’t have done that.”

  “I don’t regret it.”

  He glanced up in surprise, meeting Beckett’s dark eyes. “No?”

  “No. But I would never want you to feel uncomfortable, and I’m sorry if you were. If I’m barking up the wrong tree, if I’m making things worse…”

  Zac rushed to answer, afraid the alpha would draw the wrong conclusions from his shocked silence.

  “No. You’re not. Not at all. It’s just… it’s a big risk. Especially now, when there’s so much at stake. Would you want to run the risk of us falling out if things don’t work out between us?”

  “I think we can be adult enough not to let that happen. And I also believe it’s worth the risk. You’re worth the risk, Zac. But we don’t have to make up our minds right away. Let’s take some time to talk and think, and see where we are.”

  Zac knew it couldn’t be as easy as the alpha was suggesting.

  “But what about all the gossip and rumors if people learn we’re dating, or that I’m pregnant?” People dearly loved to gossip, and a pregnant nanny working for a single father was their favorite kind of fodder.

  “I’ve never been one to listen to gossip and rumors. But I understand that it’s not so simple for you. We can be discreet; we can come up with any cover story you’d like. Whatever it takes to make you feel comfortable about this.”

  Zac nodded slowly. Beckett was offering him everything he could want and, if the circumstances were different, he’d jump at the chance. But they were what they were. He had a lot of thinking to do.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Beckett dropped Luca off with his grandmother, filling her in on developments. She was happy to keep Luca overnight, giving him and Zac two days to try to straighten things out between them.

  When he arrived back at the house, Zac was sitting out in the garden. He grabbed some drinks from the fridge and went out to join him.

  “Sparkling fruit juice?” he offered. “I think it’s the most adult drink we have in the house right now.”

  Zac accepted the can with murmured thanks. He seemed a little restless, shuffling his feet, stretching now and then.

  “Feeling okay?” Beckett asked.

  “Fine,” the omega said. “Well, nauseous, but that’s par for the course these days.”

  Beckett suspected he wasn’t getting the whole truth, but didn’t press. Zac would talk when he was ready.

  “I’ve been thinking about what I said yesterday. About finding you a new doctor.”

  Zac groaned. “I don’t know if I can face another one.” He glanced at Beckett. “But I also don’t want to go back to Dr. Smith.”

  “Well, I had an idea about that. Dr. Smith has a colleague, Dr. Lowe. He’s an omega. Rafe says the omegas in Frankie’s toddler group rave about him. What do you think?”

  Zac tugged at some blades of grass, one hand tucked under his chin. “You wouldn’t mind?”

  “Why would I mind? All I want is for you to have a doctor you feel comfortable with. Alpha, beta, omega, it doesn’t matter to me.”

  Beckett knew not everyone thought like that. No matter how many strides omegas or betas made, people still put alphas on a pedestal.

  “If you’re sure, I’d like to try.”

  “Great. I can make an appointment for next week.” He winced when he realized how that might come across. “Or I can send you the number, and you can make an appointment for when it suits you.”

  “Suits us,” Zac said, stretching again as he turned to Beckett. “You will come with me, won’t you?”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  Zac rolled his neck and shrugged his shoulders, and Beckett couldn’t help asking, “Are you sure you’re okay? You look like you’re uncomfortable in your own skin.”

  The omega blushed. “I kind of am. I haven’t shifted in a while. I usually don’t wait so long between changes, but it’s been hectic. Don’t you feel it? You haven’t shifted again since that first time, have you?”

  Beckett hadn’t. He’d thought about it a lot, dreamed about it even, but he hadn’t quite known when or how to actually…

  “I’m out of practice, I guess.”

  “No time like the present,” Zac said brightly, though he looked a little strained around the eyes.

  Beckett’s instinct was to say no. They had stuff to talk about, everything was a complete and utter mess between them, and—

  Zac made a low sound of pain, dropping his chin to his chest.

  “Why not?” Beckett conceded. “It’d be nice to have some company again.”

  The omega brightened immediately. “Really? Great.” He bounded to his feet. “I’ll go proof the house.”

  Beckett laughed and got to his feet to follow. “I’ll help.”

  They solved the awkwardness of stripping to shift by doing so in different rooms. Beckett’s lion came to him easier this time around, but he spent a while staring at his animal form in the hall mirror. His eyes were especially fascinating. He’d spent three decades staring at his own reflection, and to see himself look so different was hard to get used to.

  He heard a chuffing sound from behind him and found Zac’s leopard watching him. Not just watching him, laughing at him.

  Beckett turned, crouched, and pounced. Zac raced away, right for the back door. Beckett chased him out into the garden and froze. There was no sign of the leopard. Scenting the air, he prowled through the garden, surprised to find it empty. Where was he hiding?

  There weren’t a lot of places in the garden that could hide a leopard and, within seconds, Beckett had discounted all of them. He circled around the apple tree, puzzled and bewildered, until he heard a rustle above him. He looked up and found Zac balanced on a branch, staring down at him.

  If Beckett had been younger, still just a cub, he’d have climbed that tree in a heartbeat. But he suspected the branches wouldn’t hold the weight of a full-grown lion. So instead of trying to catch Zac, he settled down on the grass and waited. It didn’t take long before he heard Zac land on the ground nearby. He expected the omega to settle down next to him. Instead, Zac took off back toward the house. Beckett didn’t even think; instinct had him giving chase. This whole shifting thing was a lot of fun.

  It was dark when he woke, a faint hint of moonlight coming through the attic window. There was a warm pressure against his chest, and he peered down to find a very human and very naked Zac cuddled against him. Huh.

  Once again, they’d fallen asleep in their animal forms and shifted back while they were unconscious. They’d also clearly gotten close. He eased away from Zac, and the omega rolled onto his front, moonlight bathing his back. Beckett had the near-irresistible urge to stroke a hand across his skin. So he did.

  At his touch, Zac arched his back like a cat, sighing softly.

  “Beckett?”

  “Hey.”

  Zac groaned. “Are we naked again?”

  Beckett stroked his hand back up Zac’s spine and laughed softly. “It seems so.”

  “We never had our talk, did we?”

  He let his fingers curl around the omega’s shoulder. Suddenly, there was clarity. All the confusion fell away.

  “What do you need to hear, Zac? What can I say to convince you to give you and me a chance? Because that, right now, is all I want. You and me.”

  There was a soft intake of breath, and then Zac rolled onto his back, meeting Beckett’s eyes.

  “
I want it too. Need it. I’ve been alone for so long. Everything got too much, and I couldn’t even stand to have someone in the same room as me when I went into heat. But now you’re here, and you’re everything I could want. And you want me back.”

  “I want you,” Beckett agreed. “Right here and now.”

  He realized as he said it that it was true. Everything about the omega called to him, pulled at him. Almost as if…

  “You’re in heat.”

  Zac looked at him like he’d lost his mind.

  “Of course I’m not. I’m pregnant, remember? Heat-free for the foreseeable.”

  “Not completely. Omegas get mini-heats during pregnancy, remember? A few hours, sometimes even a day.”

  Zac went quiet, closing his eyes and stroking a hand down his chest and across his stomach. His eyes flew open, and he stared up at Beckett.

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah, oh.”

  Zac bit down on his lower lip.

  “You have no idea how badly I want you right now.”

  Beckett glanced down at himself, aware that his body was already showing interest in the proceedings. “Oh, I think I might have some idea.”

  “But we shouldn’t,” Zac continued, his eyes widening as he followed Beckett’s gaze.

  “Because…”

  “So many reasons, none of which I can think of right now. But they’re good ones. Really good.”

  Beckett laughed softly. “Of that, I have no doubt. If you’d rather just wait it out…”

  Zac looked conflicted, his eyes dragging down Beckett’s body.

  “You don’t know what it was like, being in heat for so long, so strongly. I couldn’t even stand the touch of another person, let alone anything more. But god, I wanted it. So, so badly.” He glanced up again, meeting Beckett’s eyes. “I want it now, with you.”

  Beckett stretched out on his side, and Zac mimicked him.

  “I’ll leave it in your hands,” he said softly. “I can give you what you want, what you need, or I can wrap you up in blankets and take care of you at a distance until you’re over it. Whichever you’d prefer.”

  “You won’t mind if I don’t want to share this with you?”

  “I’ve been taking care of my own needs for a while now. And sure, your heat scent might be driving me crazy, but I don’t want this unless you want it.”

  Zac grinned and stretched. “Driving alphas wild, huh? That’s all I want to hear.”

  Beckett felt a surge of possessiveness, reaching out to splay his hand across Zac’s chest.

  “Not alphas. Me, just me.”

  Zac licked his lips, a hint of nervousness mixed with naked desire. “Just you. All for you.”

  “Good,” Beckett rumbled, his hand over Zac’s heart. He could feel the fast rhythm beneath his palm.

  The omega pressed a hand over his. “Yes, I… I want to share my heat with you.”

  Excitement raced through him, and Zac sighed with relief now that he’d made the decision.

  “You’re sure? You can change your mind at any time.”

  “I won’t. I want this.”

  “But all those reasons…”

  “Maybe they don’t matter all that much. Not… not right now. I want to remember how good a heat can feel. Can you show me?”

  Beckett pressed a chaste kiss to Zac’s lips. “I can, and I will.”

  They stayed like that, on their sides and facing each other, as Beckett let his hand drift along Zac’s body. Across his shoulder, down his arm, onto his hip, his thigh, and pausing at the curve of his knee. He did it again and again, giving Zac a chance to get used to his touch, his scent, to not be overwhelmed by the weight of his need.

  He caressed Zac’s hip, fingers teasing the crease of his thigh.

  “Care to make a wager?”

  Zac rewarded him with a lazy smile.

  “What’s the bet?”

  “I can make you come three times before dawn.”

  The omega lifted his head and stared up at the night sky. It was just starting to lighten, hinting that the sun was on its way.

  “Twice, maybe. Three is a lot. I don’t think you’ll manage it.” He bit his lip. “What happens if I lose?”

  Beckett laughed, the sound low and rough. “I’ll try for four.”

  Zac flushed, a soft moan escaping his lips.

  “And if you lose?”

  “I’ll let you decide.”

  Shivering, but not from cold, Zac stretched and smiled at him. “Better get to it, then. Sun’s coming up.”

  Beckett took that as permission, sliding closer, pressing his body flush to Zac’s. He captured the omega’s lips in a kiss, tangling his fingers in Zac’s hair as he kissed him breathless. They parted for air, but Beckett didn’t give him much chance to recover, stealing his mouth again, nudging his tongue past those soft lips. Zac parted for him, sighing into the kiss as Beckett’s tongue teased his. He took advantage of the distraction to push Zac onto his back on the floor, straddling him as he deepened the kiss.

  When he pulled away abruptly, Zac made an unhappy sound and chased him. That sound became a moan as Beckett kissed his way down Zac’s neck and onto his chest. His fingers found Zac’s nipples, the pads of his fingers stroking them to hardness before tweaking them gently. Zac was sensitive there, shivering and moaning at the lightest of touches. He kissed his way down Zac’s sternum and right to his navel, dragging his tongue across his skin as Zac gasped and squirmed.

  “Beckett,” Zac called suddenly, breathless.

  “Zac?”

  “I don’t want you to lose this bet.”

  He chuckled darkly, his hands pressing down on Zac’s hips. “I have no intention of losing.”

  Ducking down lower, he felt Zac go very, very still. The omega knew what was coming.

  Beckett nuzzled gently at the root of his half-hard cock, letting the warmth of his breath trail across the sensitive skin. He licked a stripe from root to tip, rewarded with a shout from Zac as the omega’s hands scrabbled at the rug beneath them, searching for some way to ground himself. But Beckett didn’t want him tethered to the ground; he wanted him to fly.

  Opening his mouth, he teased the head of Zac’s cock with his tongue and eased him past his lips. The omega was struggling to hold himself together, babbling something incoherent as Beckett sealed his lips around him and sucked hard. That was all it took to send Zac over the edge, his back arching, his hips bucking as he came. Beckett held him steady, swallowing hard as the omega rode the wave of his orgasm. Zac slowly sank back to the floor, staring up at Beckett, tears in his eyes.

  “Alright there?” Beckett didn’t know if he should be concerned or not.

  “It was so good,” Zac murmured, one trembling hand stroking the curve of Beckett’s shoulder. “I’d forgotten.”

  “Oh, there is so much more to remind you about.”

  Beckett bent down and kissed him, letting the omega taste himself on his lips. Zac wrapped his arms around him, and Beckett leaned into the embrace. Then he urged Zac upright, gently setting him on his knees on the rug. They kissed again, Beckett resting his hands on Zac’s lower back before letting them wander down and over the curves of his ass. Zac made a pleased sound and pushed into his touch, nipping at Beckett’s bottom lip gently before soothing the nip with a swipe of his tongue.

  Beckett settled a hand in the small of Zac’s back, rubbing slow circles as he took the omega apart with kisses. With Zac thoroughly distracted and moaning against him, he slipped a hand down between his cheeks, making a pleased sound when he found Zac wet. He eased a finger inside him, and Zac keened, breaking the kiss to press his face to Beckett’s neck.

  He eased his hand away and patted Zac’s hip, pressing one last kiss to the curve of his jaw before moving away and circling around behind him. Zac stayed where he was, on his knees, bathed in moonlight. He looked beautiful, almost ethereal to Beckett’s eyes.

  When Beckett’s hand found his shoulder, urging him forward,
he folded beautifully onto his hands and knees.

  “Fold your arms,” Beckett urged. “Tuck your head in.”

  The position was best for both of them; it would heighten every sensation.

  Zac moved with barely a murmur, seeming relaxed and content to let Beckett do the thinking.

  “I can take it slow,” he offered. “Ease you into it.”

  The omega made a sound of protest. “Want to feel you. Really feel you.” He wiggled his hips for emphasis, and Beckett huffed out a laugh.

  “Bossy, aren’t you?”

  Zac made a non-committal sound. “You’re one to talk.”

  Laughing, he settled his hand on Zac’s hips again, urging the omega’s legs a bit wider. Despite Zac’s assertions, the omega hadn’t done this in a while. Beckett wouldn’t rush into it and risk hurting him. He eased forward, just pressing lightly against him, giving Zac the chance to catch his breath. Zac pushed back against him eagerly, and only Beckett’s hand on his hips stopping things from going further.

  “When I say you’re ready and not a moment before.”

  Zac groaned, wiggling in his grip. “I’m ready, I am. Please, Beckett.”

  “Hold still,” he insisted.

  With a huff, Zac complied, his hips stilling, his body vibrating with need. Beckett eased forward, taking his time as he pushed inside. A moan escaped Zac’s lips, his breath stuttering as Beckett filled him in one long, slow stroke.

  “That’s it. Just breathe.”

  They stayed like that, Beckett stroking his hand up and down Zac’s back until the omega had settled, his breathing deep and even. Then Beckett pulled out and thrust back in, enjoying the tight heat of Zac’s body and how one simple stroke stole his breath all over again.

  The omega seemed pliant and easy, so Beckett let go of his tight control and quickly found his rhythm. His hands steadied Zac as he took him with fast, deep thrusts of his hips. He could feel his orgasm building, but it wasn’t his he was interested in right then. Letting go of his grip on Zac’s hip, he eased his hand around between the omega’s legs, stroking him in time with his thrusts. Zac came with a hoarse cry, arching his back and pushing into Beckett, breaking their rhythm. Beckett slid his hand under Zac’s stomach, anchoring him as he slowed his thrusts and gave the omega a chance to catch his breath.