A Breath of Autumn

by Lillian Beckwith

  ‘Did you get a name for the old man you met?’ she enquired.

  ‘I think he said that he was a Calum McRae but he didn’t seem too sure about it. He was answering to “Ally” and even “Shorus” so I think he was pretty mixed up in his mind.’

  Kirsty summoned her memories. The postman on Killegray had been called Calum or ‘Calum the post’; ‘Calum McRae’ she had never heard of, for there were no surnames used on Killegray. But ‘Calum the post’ would be very old by now she reckoned, and even had he still been alive she was certain that he would never have agreed to be evacuated from his home. She made no mention of her recollections to Hugh Roberton for it seemed to her unlikely that his forebears hailed from her own small community and she had no wish to disappoint him.

  By this time they had reached the house where Jamie carried the bags up the stairs. Euan Ally arrived with Enac and the baby and Marney. Wee Ruari ushered in the twins, and after greetings and introductions and sessions of admiration for the baby, Euan Ally eventually said, ‘You’ll surely be coming over to the “Castle” to see how comfortable we are.’

  ‘Oh yes Pop, why don’t we do just that,’ Dina responded eagerly but as she moved to get up her father handed her a carrier bag,

  ‘You’ve forgotten this,’ he reminded her.

  ‘So I have. Look Wee Ruari, we’ve brought you this.’

  Dina handed him a square black tin of toffee. Kirsty had always known toffee as ‘tablet’ though they saw little enough of it unless ‘the boys’ brought some after a visit to the mainland. Wee Ruari beamed his thank yous; breaking off three pieces he gave one to each of the twins and kept one for himself. He then put the tin away in the cupboard of the dresser, for in his experience adults didn’t eat toffee.

  Hugh Roberton looked at Kirsty enquiringly.

  ‘Will you be going over to this “Castle” with them?’ he asked.

  ‘Not just now,’ she replied. ‘I have one or two things I must do here. I’ll be over there in a wee while just.’

  Then if you don’t mind I’ll wait here and go with you,’ he rejoined. ‘You don’t object to my pipe?’

  When Kirsty indicated that she had no objection he settled more comfortably on the bench, devoting himself to getting his pipe drawing properly.

  ‘Jamie and Euan Ally seem to be content with how they’re doing at the fishing,’ he observed casually after a few minutes. It sounded like a statement but there was a query in his tone.

  ‘Content enough,’ she replied. ‘Prices could be better.’

  ‘How about the croft itself? They tell me in Clachan that there’s not much return on cattle and sheep these days.’

  ‘There never has been as far as I can remember,’ she admitted.

  ‘I suppose not,’ he agreed. ‘But once a man has worked his own land he’ll never want to leave it.’ He puffed at his pipe once or twice and then said, ‘You know, in my country they say that the land fashions the man. Would you think so yourself?’

  ‘And the sea?’ she queried. ‘My two husbands were fishermen as well as crofters.’

  Hugh Roberton raised his eyebrows.

  ‘The sea rules a man,’ she supplied, answering her own question. ‘You know it’s said hereabouts that a true fisherman who has his own boat belongs to the sea completely. He has no need of other diversions such as a wife and a home. If he has a wife she is an indulgence, a luxury.’

  He was still looking at her quizzically. ‘You knew that before you were married?’

  She nodded.

  ‘But you accepted it?’

  ‘I suppose I ignored it. Women do.’

  ‘Is that what you would advise any young woman to do?’

  ‘I cannot say. Myself I was not young when I married.’

  Getting up quickly from her chair she put more peats on the fire and adjusted the position of the two kettles, hoping her apparent haste would end the discussion. She had no wish to tell him how her two marriages had come about.

  ‘We’d best be getting over to the “Castle” or we’ll meet them on their way back,’ she urged.

  He knocked out his pipe and rose to his feet. As he pulled on his jacket he taxed her. ‘I take it you know something about the state of affairs between Dina and Jamie?’

  ‘I can see they seem to be fond of each other,’ she admitted.

  ‘More than fond,’ he returned. ‘They claim to be in love and are planning to get married.’

  The shock of his statement was almost physical.

  ‘Jamie and Dina? But they hardly know each other,’ she protested.

  ‘They’ve been corresponding regularly since that first day we spent over here.’ He was smiling at her now.

  ‘I didn’t know of that,’ she said simply. ‘It is Jamie who collects the mail.’

  ‘Yes, I gathered that,’ he murmured sympathetically then, noticing her perplexed frown, he demanded, ‘You’re not pleased?’

  ‘I have no reason to be unpleased,’ but her voice made him turn to her quickly.

  ‘No, don’t feel that way,’ he begged her. ‘I strongly suspected but I didn’t know myself until we were on the island of Killegray a week or two ago. I managed to get the truth out of her then just how serious things had become.’

  ‘I’ve always hoped Jamie would meet a nice girl who would return his love for her and want to marry him,’ she reflected. ‘I was sure it would happen some day but he didn’t seem to fancy any of the lassies he met hereabouts. I didn’t want him to end up a bachelor like too many of the men in these parts; he’s too kind and gentle and thoughtful. I know he’ll make a good husband when he marries.’

  ‘Perhaps Dina is the right girl for him,’ Hugh Roberton said softly.

  ‘Oh I hope you’re right,’ Kirsty exclaimed, smiling. ‘She is a lovely girl. I couldn’t wish him better.’

  ‘She’ll be glad to know that,’ he returned.

  When they reached the ‘Castle’ they found Dina cuddling Enac’s baby, Enac showing Marney how to card wool and the twins and Wee Ruari fishing in the burn. Jamie and Euan Ally watched Hugh Roberton inspect the stonework of the walls before taking him inside to see the new range and the loom where a length of tweed was already in the process of being woven. When they reappeared they declared their intention of inspecting the sheep, and Dina, parting reluctantly with the baby, decided to accompany them.

  ‘Euan Ally’s Uncle Hamish says he is coming over in a day or two to start building up a bothy for the English couple.’ Enac imparted the information with a satiric grin, and went on ‘His old wife is letting him off the rope again for a wee whiley.’

  ‘So they managed to persuade him that they’re serious,’ Kirsty was still sceptical.

  There was a sudden shout from the children down at the burn to come and see the size of the fish they had caught.

  Marney dashed off to join them but Enac and Kirsty remained seated. As soon as Marney was out of earshot Enac spoke.

  ‘I have to tell you Marney’s husband will be here tomorrow. He’s waiting at the port and the boys are going to pick him up after they’ve finished fishing.’ After a pause she continued. ‘He’s served his sentence now.’

  Kirsty nodded comprehendingly but made no comment.

  ‘ “The boys” say he can sleep on the boat for a night or two,’ Enac offered.

  ‘Is Marney looking forward to seeing him?’

  ‘I reckon she is.’

  ‘And the twins, will they be pleased?’

  They’ll be over the moon, Marney says. They think the world of their father.’

  ‘Ought we to provide some sort of welcome for him?’ Kirsty wondered.

  Enac pursed her lips by way of reply and Kirsty did not pursue the matter.

  ‘There’s something I have to tell you Enac,’ she disclosed, ‘and I think it will surprise you as much as it surprised me.’ Enac turned to her questioningly, and Kirsty announced, ‘I’m told Jamie and Dina are planning to get married.’

 
; ‘Ah, the dears,’ breathed Enac, smiling broadly.

  ‘Is that all you have to say; I expected you to jump out of your skin.’

  ‘I’m not very surprised,’ Enac admitted and, seeing Kirsty’s puzzled expression, she went on, ‘I expected it in a way. Euan Ally’s been mentioning all these letters Jamie’s after getting with Canadian stamps on them, so I was pretty sure something was going on.’

  ‘I feel a bit left out,’ said Kirsty. ‘I think I must have been wilfully blind but now I feel stupid just.’

  ‘Did they tell you whereabouts they are going to make their home?’ Enac’s question shocked her.

  ‘Their home!’ Kirsty turned away quickly so Enac should not see her startled expression. ‘No, they haven’t spoken to me of their plans. It was Dina’s father who told me of their intention to be wed.’

  ‘I suppose they’ll go to Canada to live,’ Enac offered casually.

  ‘I suppose that will be the way of it,’ agreed Kirsty automatically, but as the realisation pierced sharply into her mind she had to smother her dismay. She was glad of the distraction as Wee Ruari and the twins came racing up to them to show off the fish they had caught.

  ‘My, but that’s a fine trout you have there,’ Enac complimented them as she inspected the fish. ‘Today will be a day for you to remember.’ Wee Ruari’s smile broadened as he and the twins dashed off again.

  And that’s how he would remember the day, Kirsty told herself. Such things as calendars were alien to the islanders; they packed their memories with events which they would later call to mind clearly. Seasons needed no calendar; even the months were vague; the missionary or the minister would remind them of the days of Communion festivals and Hogmanay, so dates were of no consequence. ‘I mind that was the day I caught the big trout in Euan Ally’s burn,’ she knew Wee Ruari would recall in later years, just as she might say, ‘I mind that was the day Hugh Roberton told me of Jamie and Dina’s secret,’ or Enac might recollect, ‘I mind it was the day before Marney’s man came to the island.’ And so the evocations would continue throughout the years. She herself kept a calendar in the house but it was only to mark off the days approaching Christmas so she could be sure of preparing some special treats for Wee Ruari.

  ‘It’s certainly been a day for memories,’ she summed up. ‘But I’d best be getting back and doing some work.’

  She was glad to be alone; to wrestle with the tangle of emotions that filled her mind. The startling revelation that morning of the situation between Jamie and Dina had shaken her, but almost immediately she had welcomed it as she would have welcomed Dina into her home. Enac’s assumption that the couple would probably wish to make their home in Canada had certainly unnerved her. She knew she must now come to grips with the likelihood that Jamie would desert Westisle and go with Dina to Canada, but even as she faced the facts questions pursued one another through her mind. If Jamie left would Euan Ally and Enac stay? What would happen to The Two Ruaris?

  Her shoulders dropped listlessly and she paused to stare at the hills, white-flecked now with a scatter of newly shorn sheep. So Clachan had begun shearing! Her mind grasped the knowledge and then almost immediately let it slide away. Her eyes were drawn to the innumerable segments of white cloud that looked as if they might be tiny fish shoaling across the tranquil blue sky. She stiffened her shoulders and resumed her path until the memory of Marney’s man smote her. Enac had said he would be arriving the following evening. What was to happen to him and his family? Was she to be confronted with more problems and even more decisions?

  When she reached the house she found Wee Ruari and the twins scoffing pancakes and crowdie with cream.

  ‘We were hungry,’ they explained. ‘So we thought we’d start with pudding and then we’ll have the fish we caught.’

  ‘So who’s to cook the fish,’ she teased. ‘Are you going to try your hand at cooking it as well as eating it?’

  They could see she wasn’t serious, but Wee Ruari shook his head anyway. ‘You can cook it,’ he allowed. The three of them ran outside.

  Jamie, Dina and her father arrived shortly afterwards and Dina sniffed appreciatively at the rabbit pie that was keeping warm on the hob.

  ‘Mmm. I always seem to be hungry on this island,’ she declared.

  ‘Fresh air and good cooking,’ agreed her father.

  ‘I’m going to be missing Mam’s cooking,’ began Jamie and then broke off to stare guiltily at Kirsty.

  She was putting the food onto their plates and the sudden confession caused her hand to shake so that the pie slid to one side, spilling gravy onto the wax-cloth covering. Quickly she seized a cloth and wiped it up.

  ‘That was clumsy of me,’ she excused herself.

  No one commented. Wordlessly they began eating until Kirsty decided she must ease the tension. ‘Dina’s father is after telling me you two are planning to get married,’ she challenged them.

  Dina blurted out smilingly. ‘We were intending to let you into the secret tonight, weren’t we Jamie? Truly we were.’

  Kirsty acknowledged her confession with a nod of approval. Looking at Jamie she saw his face was deeply flushed.

  ‘I reckoned you might have picked up a hint of it,’ he excused himself.

  ‘Well I’m mighty pleased to hear of it,’ she enthused, leaning forward to shake their hands. ‘And now that’s all said and done with, let’s start on the pancakes and crowdie.’

  Jamie got up and went to the larder, returning with a bottle from which he filled two large glasses and two small ones.

  ‘This is by way of a celebration,’ he invited.

  At that moment Wee Ruari came in. ‘That’s whisky,’ he accused.

  ‘We’re celebrating,’ Jamie told him.

  ‘Celebrating what?’ her son asked.

  The adults exchanged glances and nodded.

  ‘Dina and me are engaged and are going to be wed,’ Jamie explained.

  ‘But Dina and her father are only here for a holiday then they’ll be going back to Canada,’ argued Wee Ruari.

  ‘Maybe I’ll be going with them to take a look and see if it’s as nice as Westisle,’ Jamie hazarded.

  ‘Why can’t Dina stay here instead,’ Wee Ruari suggested.

  ‘Because I have to go back to college,’ she answered.

  ‘You don’t have to go to Canada to go to college,’ he told her knowledgeably. ‘Finlay McIntosh from Clachan goes to college and he comes home nearly every weekend.’

  ‘It’s a different kind of college,’ Jamie tried to explain, but Kirsty cut him short.

  Feeling they might want her son out of the way for a while she urged, ‘Ruari, away and close up the hens will you. There were a few hoodies about this morning.’

  ‘Right enough,’ agreed Jamie. ‘And since we’re going to the mainland tomorrow I’ll bring you plenty of Irn-Bru so you and the twins can have lots of celebrations.’

  Wee Ruari went a little reluctantly to close the poultry shed and by the time he came back Kirsty had cleared the table and they were all drinking tea or smoking. Squeezing onto the bench beside Dina he announced, ‘If Jamie’s going to Canada I’m going too.’

  Jamie raised his eyebrows while Dina put an arm round the boy’s shoulders. Kirsty puckered her lips.

  ‘What, and leave your mother here?’ Jamie asked sternly.

  ‘No, she’ll want to come too, you just ask her and you’ll see.’

  ‘Well, I’m asking her now so you can hear for yourself what she says.’ It was Dina’s father who spoke. ‘She will be more than welcome.’

  Kirsty saw that everyone was looking at her; she shook her head gravely.

  ‘How can I go to Canada,’ she asked lightly. ‘A big house and cattle and everything to look after. I couldn’t leave them here without me.’

  ‘Euan Ally and Enac would look after them for you,’ Wee Ruari put in insistently.

  ‘I think we should all go to bed and think about Canada just,’ Kirsty proposed, noticing
that Dina was almost asleep on Jamie’s shoulder. They all wished each other ‘Oidhche mhath’ and made their way towards their bedrooms.

  Kirsty herself didn’t want to think about Canada but it still impinged on her sleeplessness. Not the idea of her going there – that did not bear thinking about – but the dilemma she would be in when Jamie went. She tossed and turned as solution after solution formed in her mind only to be discarded as unsuitable.

  Chapter Fourteen

  When she entered the kitchen next morning Kirsty was surprised to see Jamie and Dina already up. Jamie had lit the fire, made the porridge and brewed the tea.

  ‘I’m afraid I’ve slept a bit late,’ she apologised.

  ‘No, no, it’s just that Dina is coming with us on the boat today to take a look at the port,’ Jamie explained.

  ‘Marney said yesterday that she would like to come too,’ Dina put in. ‘I believe her husband is arriving today and she wants to meet him.’

  ‘I take it Wee Ruari’s not awake yet, or I’m sure you would have another passenger,’ Kirsty smiled gently.

  In a short while they were away, leaving her to sit down to a quiet cup of tea, but it was not long before Hugh Roberton joined her.

  ‘You know Dina says she gets the best cup of tea she’s ever tasted here. She doesn’t drink much tea at home since the usual drink in Canada is coffee. I guess we’ll have to take some back with us.’

  Kirsty smiled. ‘I expect it’s the water. I myself didn’t think the tea they drink in the city was as good as it is on Westisle.’

  ‘You were in the city quite a long time?’

  ‘Quite a number of years,’ she admitted. ‘But I had a good employer.’