Black Ice

by Camille Mackenzie

  I keep to the other end of the room. I’m not ready for Yuri to see this side of me again. So I clear my throat and roughly put myself back together. I even manage to inconspicuously pat away the wetness under my eyes.

  “Yuri, do you want something to drink? There’s tea, juice…”

  “I’m fine.” He replies.

  “Alright.”

  I hover near the snack table, pretending to find some interest in the twelve varieties of cheeses and deli meats spread about. I need these few minutes to gather myself. The last thing I want is for Yuri to see the effect of one conversation with my aunt has done to me.

  “Are you sure?” I add playfully “There’s just about any drink you could want here. Don’t blame me if you get dry mouth out there.”

  Yuri extends his arm past me. It looks like he’s going to take a bottle of water when instead he covers my hand with his. He tips his forehead into the back of my pouffy curly head. Before I can stop it, my body leans into him.

  “Sage, what’s wrong?

  I shake my curls and tease him with a sense of humor I don’t really feel. I put up my smoke screen and pray he can’t see through it.

  “If I trip and fall in these heels on live tv, it’ll be your fault. Do you remember the last time I tried to walk in heels? I’m graceful on the ice not in five-inch stilettos.”

  I wait for him to laugh, thinking that he’s recalled my blunder that nearly broke my ankle when I was sixteen. But Yuri turns my body into his. Then he takes my chin and pushes it up to him. He rakes his eyes over my face. The pad of his thumb slips beneath my eye. I can feel the tear he brushes away from my cheek.

  “Whatever she said, whatever she did doesn’t matter. It’s not true.”

  It’s not fair that he can see through me so easily. It’s not fair that he can disarm me so quickly. Especially when no one else can.

  I smile weakly. “Okay. It’s not true.”

  “We could leave you know.”

  “Leave? Where would we go?”

  “Wherever the hell you say. Do you even want to do this interview?”

  I don’t know what I want anymore. This is supposed to be a simple interview and it’s turned into a circus. And as always the ring leader is my aunt. I wanted to support Aspen. I don’t want to be paraded on live tv like some show dog.

  “Aspen’s already performed. We could just leave.” Yuri urges. “We’ll say I’m ill and get out of here. If that’s what you want.”

  I stare up into his eyes. “No.”

  “No?”

  “No.” I sigh. “I don’t want to do this.”

  A grin breaks across Yuri’s lips. He gets a mischievous glint in his eyes and pulls me to the door. I kick off my heels. They’re just going to slow me down. When Yuri pulls the door open the production assistant is standing there with his fist in the air. We push by him in a blur.

  “We’re sick.” I huff. “Sorry.”

  We race to the elevator. I hit the button to freedom a dozen times. Like it will somehow make it come up faster. My heart drums in my chest wildly as I look up at Yuri. He squeezes my hand and brings it to his lips.

  “I don’t even know where we are.” I realize.

  “We’ll figure it out.”

  The elevator doors ding open. Barefoot and giddy with excitement I follow Yuri inside. The doors aren’t closed yet when I hear Auntie Carrie shriek.

  “Sage, where are you going?!”

  She’s all the way down the hall but the doors are closing too slowly. I look away as she starts speed walking down the hall. Yuri tucks me closer to him and hammers his fingers against the button to close the doors. I bury my face into his side as Auntie Carrie screams my name. I need a break. I need one night away from all of this. I need Yuri.

  The doors close firmly, and I squeeze him as the floors tick away. Once we hit the lobby, we’re bolting to the exit together. The New York street is busy even at this time of night. Before my toes hit the cement, Yuri throws me over his shoulder barbarically. He somehow manages to flag a cab down and get me in the back seat in under a minute.

  “There.” He huffs, slamming the door shut. “Freedom.”

  Yuri runs his hands through his hair and laughs. “Feels good doesn’t it?”

  I’m staring at him. They way you stare at someone like they’re the first and last thing you ever want to see again. My pulse quickens. Yuri arcs a thick brow at me and gives a nervous chuckle. I don’t think. I literally leap out of my seat and throw myself into him. He’s quick with his hands. He catches me as my weight crashes him back into the black leather seat. And then I kiss him.

  My lips dance with his until his laughter turns into a hard groaning. His fingers work their way into my hair where they harvest my curls. My knees bury themselves on each side of his thighs. I grip his tie and drag him closer. Between my legs he grows hard. I plant myself deeper into his lap and chew his bottom lip. When he tugs my hair and moans, I release him. And then I marvel at my work.

  My eyes hold on to Yuri’s. I caught him off guard and it shows. I’ve kissed some color into his cheeks and brought desire into his gaze that hadn’t been there before. He grabs the back of my neck and puts us back together with a fieriness that shakes me to the core.

  “Where can I take you?” The cabby says before we get too carried away again.

  I breathe against Yuri’s mouth. “Anywhere but here.”

  Yuri

  Nothing in the world can compare to the way Sage laughs. Although over the years, she’s grown and changed, her smile remains her sexist curve. I’m weakened whenever I see it, but it’s her laugh that completely disarms me. It’s feminine, sweet and earthy like honey for my ears. When Sage laughs, her eyes glow. The corners of her lips turn up. She scrunches her nose, holds her palms to her chest and it flows out like a song.

  I could have taken her anywhere in the city. New York is a treasure trove for a bored soul. But I’ve craved her laughter since I saw her at the ballet studio. So, we bought flip flops at a convenience store for her bare feet. Then I had the cab driver bring us to an improv comedy club in Hell’s Kitchen. Sage hasn’t stopped laughing since we took our seats. It feels good to see her this way. To see her happy again, makes my heart swell.

  An hour later, she holds my hand and huddles close as we walk down the block. We stop and have dinner in a hipster bar. She laughs more and tells me about her fights with her aunt. Her troubles with Kennedy. Over a plate of mini tacos and onion rings, she confides in me like she used to. It hurts because I realize how much I’ve missed. We drink draft beer that we both decide we hate but drink anyway. I wipe away the foam that sticks to her nose and revel in her giggles.

  Eventually she can’t keep herself away from the music and makes her own dance floor in front of an old-timey jukebox. As her hips sway along to the songs she chooses, I drink and watch her with my own silly grin. Sage won’t dance alone for long. With a slick smile she plucks my glass from my hand and forces me to the floor with her. It’s there that I hold her in my arms and we kiss beneath the old-fashioned lights.

  Just after two she looks at her watch and frowns. I knew it wouldn’t last forever. It wasn’t meant to. I only wanted to give her an escape. I wanted to remind her that there was more for her than the hell she endures. I could be apart of that if she let me. I could be her escape.

  “Sage,” I say when we reluctantly return to the hotel.

  She stops looking through her purse for her door key. “Yes?”

  “You think that they’re all you have, and so you put up with the way they treat you. But, you have me. You’ve always had me.”

  Her mouth opens but I halt her response. “I know that I left and I fucked up everything when I did. And I’m sorry. When you said that you needed me, I shouldn’t have let you go. I will never forgive myself for that.”

  “You were right to. I’m not…” She sighs. “I’m not perfect.”

  “You are not perfect.” I agree and she drops
her chin. Those four words are the hardest for her to hear. But they need to be said.

  “Who the fuck wants perfect anyway?”

  Her head snaps up and she’s smiling from ear to ear. She is flawed. Who isn’t? She’s got demons but who doesn’t? We’ve all got battle scars from this crazy world. Hers may reach deeper and maybe more easily seen, but it doesn’t matter to me. I love her.

  “I just want you.” I tell her honestly.

  Her smile fades and I see the memory of that day playing in her eyes. My rejection hurt her and I wonder if she will ever forgive me. I pray that she can.

  “Goodnight, Yuri.” She whispers.

  “Goodnight, Sage.”

  Chapter 17

  Sage

  I turn down the hall to my room. Yuri follows. I feel his eyes on me the entire way. We’re five rooms down from one another. At the door, I hesitate before sliding my key in. I look over and meet his smoky blue gaze. If I could, I would go to him right now. But I know on the other side of this door, Auntie Carrie is waiting and if she figures out that Yuri and are getting close she’ll take him from me. One way or another.

  I take my eyes off Yuri and get my lie straight in my head. When I’m confident that I can sell it, I pull out my key card. My fingers grip the white plastic and I chew my lip. In my head, I’m telling myself not to look back. I touch the gold necklace dangling from my neck. No. Don’t look back. If I do, I won’t be spending the night in this hotel room, I’ll be in his. And it wouldn’t be the first time.

  ##

  I wasn’t supposed to be there. Dean was going to kill me. I pressed my lips together and eased my hotel room door closed while simultaneously balancing my heels and clutch. It was after midnight and I could hear his loud snoring as I snuck past his door. He had been dead asleep, but I still balanced my head so that my dangling earrings didn’t even make a noise.

  When I moved pass the ice machine, I felt accomplished. But wasn’t until, the elevator doors closed with me inside that I exhaled and let out a nervous sigh of relief. Freedom. After three and half years of training and grueling schedules, I was finally getting a night off. Dean and the other chaperones would kill me if they knew what I was up to two nights before I compete for gold.

  My training schedule didn’t give me the luxury of fun. I’ve missed countless school dances, dates and high school house parties. Usually I gritted my teeth and bare it. But tonight, it’s my eighteenth birthday and I deserve one night of fun before the mania really started.

  As the numbers counted down to the lobby, I shuffled into my heels, adjusted my skirt and fluffed out my hair. I looked good. I had to be sure that I didn’t wake my female chaperon, Erin. So, I had put my makeup on by phone light and a compact mirror under the covers. If she had caught me, I’d be in deep trouble. But the reward was worth the risk. Somewhere in Vancouver or around the Olympic village, is Yuri Meshkov. I haven’t seen him since in the months leading to this Olympics. Not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought about seeing him again.

  I swallowed thickly when the elevator doors pulled apart. The bustle of the lobby was intimidating. It was filled with the world’s best athletes dressed to the nines. Everyone looked better than the next person. I took a deep breath and let out my nerves.

  Tonight, Vancouver is my oyster. With the Olympic Games taking over the city, all the surrounding clubs and bars were hosting the athletes. I’ve talked my friend Zander, into giving me the inside information on two parties. He’s a skier for the US team. He was reluctant to sneak me out but caved in after my relentless begging. In exchange, I had to promise to let him escort me tonight. If trouble found me, Dean would have his head. So, as he explained it “I won’t be able to breathe without asking him first.”

  “Where’s the rest of that skirt?” Zander had asked when I stepped off the elevators.

  I elbowed him playfully as a few of Germany’s athletes sauntered by.

  “Stop it, I’m nervous as it is.”

  On my tiptoes I adjusted the collar of his burgundy slim-fit dress shirt. The color is just right for the sparks of golden brown in his eyes. While I fussed with his collar, he adjusted my dangling earrings.

  “Do you think he’ll like this?” I asked reluctantly, gesturing to my ensemble.

  “Only one reason he wouldn’t.” Zander winked. “And if that were the case, I’d be all over that.”

  I chuckled and punched his shoulder. “Hey, don’t get any ideas.”

  Zander shook his head, holding his hands up innocently. “All is fair in love and war.”

  I punched him again and that time he frowned.

  “That hurt.”

  “Good.” I sighed readjusting the button to his shirt for no reason.

  “No. Not good. Jesus. You know for someone so damn small, you pack a mean punch.”

  “Oh, don’t be a baby.” I teased rubbing my palm over his shoulder. “Does the wittle man-baby need me to make it better?”

  Zander rolled his eyes. “Look, you aren’t eighteen until midnight so if you don’t knock it off I’ll break your little secret and send you back to your room.”

  “You wouldn’t!”

  “Try me.”

  I straightened up and gave him my best flirty eyes. He was obviously immune, but he usually laughed when I tried to flirt with him, and I needed to stay on his good side if I had any hopes of bumping into Yuri tonight.

  “Zander,” I cooed. “I’m sorry. I’m just really really nervous. Can you forgive your favorite person in the whole wide world?”

  Another dramatic eye roll but he did smile when I pinched his cheek.

  “Fine.” He huffed taking my hand in his. “Let’s go.”

  For some reason, those actions words had the opposite effect on my body. I heard “let’s go”, and I froze in place. My heart had begun to hammer in my chest and the nerves were sinking in.

  Zander looked down at me confused for a moment and then understanding lit his gaze.

  “He’ll like you, Sage. I swear it.”

  I didn’t want to jinx anything, so I had tried to not overthink tonight. But all of this, the James Bond tricks to sneak out of my hotel room undetected, the sexy stilettos, the endless make-up tutorials that I watched on YouTube, it’s all for the slim chance that I’ll see Yuri tonight. It’s with the hope that he’ll see me and stop thinking of me as that thirteen-year-old girl, he met at Champions on Ice. Our birthday was tonight, and I’d brought his gift in my clutch.

  Fear gripped me suddenly and my voice squeaked out in a whisper. “What if he doesn’t come?”

  “Then he would have missed his chance to fall for the most beautiful girl I know.”

  He pulled me into his arms and wrapped me I smiled at Zander and blushed into his jacket. into a warm hug.

  “Thanks. You’re the best.”

  “This is true.” He agreed.

  We stayed like that while others were moving around us. Training split us apart after he left Detroit for Denver. So, it’s a spectacular feeling being with my friend again. I’m glad when Zander speaks. I probably wouldn’t have let him go if he hadn’t.

  “Sage”

  “Hmm?”

  “Don’t be mad, but I can almost guarantee that Yuri won’t be at either party tonight.”

  I pulled my head from his chest and looked up at him in shock. “What? Why? How do you know?”

  “Because,” he swallowed thickly, looking right above my head. “He’s right there. And well he uh…looks pretty pissed off.”

  When I turned around Yuri Meshkov was stalking towards us. I felt the butterflies in my stomach and my heart started pounding out of my chest, but I barely had time to register those two feelings. I’m swept up into the storm of his gaze and the unsettling anger in his jaw line. I bet myself that I could kiss that away, if he let me.

  “Go back to your room now.” He demanded.

  I stopped gazing at him with a wide-eyed stare. We hadn’t seen much of one another this pas
t year. I had been hoping that when he saw me again, he’d be a lot less angry. Maybe even excited.

  “Hi.” I muttered stupidly from my daze.

  “This is no place for you. Go back to your hotel room.” He shot his icy gaze at Zander. “You shouldn’t have brought her here.”

  I jumped to Zander’s defense even as Yuri moved around me to get into his face.

  “Hey!” I shouted. “Don’t be mad at him. I asked him to.”

  “I don’t care. You’re going back upstairs.” Yuri grabbed me and pulled me beside him.

  Zander pushed his hand off me. “Don’t grab her like that. You need to calm down.”

  Yuri shoved Zander into a large potted plant knocking him to the ground. I shrieked at how hard he hit the floor and rushed to his side. I’m not the only one. The German skier Zander was flirting with helped him up as well.

  “What’s wrong with you?” I shouted.

  Around us a crowd had gathered. They whispered among themselves and pointed at us. I had never been so embarrassed. Yuri looked down at me as he came out of his angry trance. I hit his chest with my fist.

  “Why do you have to be such a jerk?”

  “Sage, I-I didn’t mean to do that.”

  I wasn’t going anywhere fast in these heels, but I stomped back to the elevator as best as I could. As soon as the doors opened, I ran inside. They had nearly closed when Yuri stuck his hand inside and they pulled apart again. He held his head down when he walked inside. I didn’t care what number he pushed for himself.

  “You’ve never been around a bunch of idiotic, drunk, Olympic athletes.” Yuri states. “I know you’ve heard the stories about what goes on in and around the Olympic village. I was trying to protect you.”

  My fury prevents me from seeing that side of his so-called noble deed. Mostly because the very reason why he thinks he needs to protect me is why I’d come in the first place. He was always going to see me as that thirteen-year-old girl. He was never going to see the woman I’d become. No amount of make-up or heels would change that.