It was not easy to manoeuvre her into the opening. Ironically, I did everything possible not to injure her as I pulled her into the cave with me. I then dragged her body, still snug in the blanket, the few feet to the spot I had found the bones. I proceeded to stretch out her arms and lock them in the restraints, and did the same with her legs. When I was through she looked like she was ready to be sacrificed, and in a sense I guess she was. I thought back to the girl in the woods in high school as well as Cindy. There was so much symbolism in this final act. Finally, I sat there, staring at her body and trying to decide if I wanted to wait until she woke up and complete what I had in mind or just leave. At least if I left it would be easier in a way, but it would also be a cruel, and cowardly, choice. I owed her an explanation at least.
I sat there wondering how long the drug would have an effect. At one point I could not see her chest moving so I checked her pulse again just to make sure she was alive. After maybe a couple of hours sitting in that wretched cave I noticed she was starting to stir. She appeared to still be asleep but her arms began to tug on the straps. I had them stretched fairly tight so all I could see was muscular contractions and then her fingers attempting to grasp. In about an hour or so after that, she began to mumble incoherently. I braced for the moment she would gain consciousness, wondering if maybe I should quickly exit. I decided to remain.
I do not know why I felt compelled to express some sort of affection, after all this was the ultimate act of violence. Yet I reached out caressed her foot the way she liked it done while watching TV. She started sighing and then she spoke in a somewhat feeble, weakened manner, “Hey there! Oh! This is different! Kinky! I, uh…” She stopped and seemed to try focusing her eyes. “Melanie? Where are we? What..?” Then she screamed, “Melanie – no! Tell me you aren’t…” She looked at me bewildered and terrified. She struggled to move but the restraints wouldn’t even allow for any bending of her legs. She looked at me as if to question. Her eyes were wide open, illuminated by the flashlight. She turned, perhaps seeing something in her peripheral vision, and looked directly at the skull. She managed to scream, “Oh my God, this is that cave of Mark’s! Oh please tell me this is just some perverse joke. Please!”
I looked at her and shook my head. I had vowed not to shed any tears and I was doing my best to maintain my composure. She just stared at me and asked, “Why? I love you, how could you be doing this to me? What have I done?”
I was having a hard time forming words at that moment. I took several deep breaths, I was feeling like I was hyperventilating, and then said, “I have no choice!” Nicole asked, “Choice? What are you talking about?” Her strength was returning and her voice took on a demanding tone. I decided to lay out all the reasons.
“Okay Nicole, for starters, why has my friend Sara disappeared? Don’t tell me you had nothing to do with it.” Nicole seemed to struggle to raise her head as she spoke, “I didn’t do anything to your stupid friend! What do you think…that I killed her or something?” I nodded, “Something like that.” She was still trying to twist her body to be able to move even slightly but with no success. She finally stopped and turned her focus on the ceiling, and with a look of horror on her face she asked, “So, did you bring any rats?” I replied, “No, I could never do such a thing as that.” She sarcastically asked, “No? So you are just going to leave me here to die of thirst and hunger? That is so much more generous.” At that point she seemed to be waiting for me to say anything that would indicate killing her was not in the plan. When I remained silent she started to cry, not in a hysterical way, but more in the manner a child might cry when not trying to attract attention – perhaps when in a state of self pity.
Then, while still crying, she started to insist, “Melanie, I swear, I have no idea where your friend is. I beg you to believe me! I never, ever would kill someone just because they were a romantic rival. I guess I might have killed myself if you had left me for her, but I would not and did not kill her! Please, you have to believe me. I swear, please, I have not harmed that girl!”
I was becoming angry at her dishonesty. I countered, “Nicole! Give me a break! You knew what she looked like! How? Are you psychic?” She continued, “Melanie, I read some of your mails, and I knew this girl wanted you. I had to see who it was that was trying to steal you from me. So yes, I found her address in one of the mails and went up to Seattle. And yes, I stalked her for almost two days. On the last evening I figured she was not a threat to me.” I asked why. “Melanie, if you had seen the way she was making out in a public bar with some Latin or Arabic looking guy you would have felt the same way. She was not going to settle down with you.” I asked her, “Why should I believe anything you are saying?” And then she said, “Because I would never lie to you!”
I was dumbfounded at her statement. I screamed at her, “You would not lie to me? What about Daniel? I read his diary, Mark was brain dead! He did not kill him the way you claimed!” Nicole started crying almost uncontrollably now and just repeated the phrase “Oh God, oh God, oh God….” I asked, “Why did you lie to me Nicole! I helped you kill a friend, your husband, and you tricked me into doing it!”
She screamed, “He was not your friend!” She seemed to regain her composure at that moment and began to talk, only stopping to clear her sinuses and breath deeply the way someone does after intense crying, “He thought you were too big a risk back in high school, especially when Mark told him he was developing feelings for you. He thought you and Mark might start a sexual relationship and then it would get discovered, and the school would bring the police in. He asked me to say something to you and as you recall I did hint at it. Then, after Mark died he really became concerned about how trustworthy you really were.”
I asked, not knowing what to believe, “Did you tell him about us?” Nicole thought a second and said, “No, not then at least. When you and I broke up he seemed really suspicious, he would even come in the room and sit down when you called. He, asked me to stop contacting you once we moved you know.” I asked, “So you did finally tell him then?” Nicole nodded as best as she could and continued, “Daniel became increasingly paranoid, of being found out, and of not measuring up to his responsibilities, and so he tried to lose himself in religion as well as alcohol. One evening he came home from some church meeting and said that we had to have a talk. He asked if there was anything in my past I felt I should disclose and then he asked if I had ever been intimate with you. I was scared of him and I said yes. He would not talk with me for two weeks. Then, when a superior of his, who was a lesbian, questioned him on some minor thing he had forgotten to do he blew up and called her a stupid dyke, as well as mixing in some rather nasty obscenities. That was when he was asked to take an early discharge.”
I asked, “So what then?” Nicole, no longer crying but using that distant voice of hers, either thinking back to events or making things up as she went along, continued her tale, “ I could not leave him – he threatened to expose us all if I did. That is why I agreed to marry him even though he had now started physically abusing me, especially when he had been drinking. He asked if I was going to invite you to the wedding and I asked if it was okay. He said I could but I could not have any official place in the ceremony. He did not even want me to be alone with you. After the wedding, maybe a month later, he was watching a program on TV about a bank robber who was caught because an ex-girlfriend turned him into the police. He turned the TV off, looked at me, and said we had to kill the only person who, besides him and I, knew the truth. I said there was no way I would go for that so he said he would do it himself if I refused. I asked him to at least let you come and visit to prove you could still be trusted. He agreed but warned me that if I warned you he would kill us both.”
This seemed way too much to believe. Still, I asked, “So why could you not have told me earlier? Before we drowned him?” She sighed, “Melanie, I know you. You would have suggested you could take care of yourself, but you couldn’t have against Daniel. He woul
d have caught you and you would be the one tied up here right now. I knew the only way for both of us to be safe would be to kill Daniel. And for you to help me I had to lie and say he killed Mark, both mind and body. Face it Melanie, the guy was insane. He beat me senseless one evening when I suggested one way to avoid you ever turning on us would be, well…for you and I to re-establish a relationship but me still be with him; a three way marriage with you sharing me with Daniel.”
In disbelief I asked, “You would have shared?” She replied, “I kind of suspected you were into unconventional ways of thinking and might have been open to it. Daniel thought it was perverse though. There were no other options for me but to lie to you and get Daniel out of the picture, or allow him to kill you.”
It was in interesting story, but I figured that if she could lie to me about something so personal then she must be lying about Sara. Then I asked, “Why did you threaten Matt?” She replied, “You mean Mark’s brother? I did not mean anything by that. Maybe what I was trying to say was that I would find him and show him to be just as sleazy as your Sara. I would never harm him though. Why would I?”
I could not control myself any longer and I began to cry. I moved over to Nicole and lay down on the blanket next to her. The flashlight illuminated her at this angle, every contour of her face, and what now was a beautiful white smile. I swallowed and said, “You have beautiful teeth Nicole, so you never went to a dentist ever?” She shook her head no. I then let her know my decision when I said, “At least there will be no dental records.” Her eyes opened up wide and the smile disappeared as she pleased, “Please, Melanie, I have told you the honest truth!” I began to cry again, as did she, and I put my arm around her waist. I looked at her and asked, “Why, Nicole, why?” I got up and looked around to make sure nothing was on the floor. She pleaded, “Melanie, please, believe me, I, I, I love you so much please don’t let me die here!” I just repeated, “I am sorry.”
I was just about ready to go when Nicole stopped crying. She asked me, “Melanie, you are going to go through with it aren’t you?” I said nothing. “Melanie, can you do me one favor? You know I am terrified of the dark and it may be days before the life leaves me. You had mercy on Cindy... can you just get it over with then?” I choked up, “Nicole, I cannot, you have to understand…”She interrupted, “That you love me still?” I yelled, “Yes!” She asked, “Well, you cannot be in a hurry, could you lie down next to me again? Please? Let me remember something pleasant, your touch, your smell, your beauty, before you leave – at least it will get me through what’s in store for me.” I came consented to her wish. She looked at me in helplessness and asked me to kiss her. I moved closer to her trembling lips and as I held her, and kissed her, I tried to let her know my feelings for her would never die.
I then jumped up and said, “I am sorry, this is it now.” She nodded and joked, “Forgive me for not waving goodbye.” And then as I aimed the flashlight at the opening and proceeded to leave she took me totally by surprise saying, “Melanie, my cell phone is in the car. I have given the impression that I am totally a mess over Daniel’s death to so many people. Text my mom a couple of times and say that you, I mean I, understand what Benjamin went through and leave it at that. My mom knew a guy named Ben who killed himself after his wife was hit by a car. Then destroy the cell phone. Oh, and park my car somewhere in Seattle near the water and find a way home that leaves no trace. Everyone will believe I killed myself.”
Was she serious? Was she giving me a way to cover up her disappearance so I would not be implicated? A selfless act from a girl I was leaving to die? I asked, “You would want me to get away with your murder?” She responded, “That is so weird, you are my murderer. Wow. Yes, I want you to know this is a huge mistake but you don’t know that now. Please, remember me in love, please will you do that?” I said I would and crawled out of the cave. I could hear her crying again and repeating, “Please Melanie – don’t do this! Oh God, I hate the dark. Melanie?”
I quickly pressed the rock against the opening and it sealed tight. I then pushed it with my feet. I had two reasons to this. The first would be to make sure no animals could get in and the second was an act of mercy I suppose – the air would run out long before three days so she would not have to die of thirst.
As I walked away I marvelled at the story she gave me. She was certainly creative. However, that thought did not bring me any real comfort. The light was starting to dim – it was getting late after all. I turned to look over the landscape and it felt really creepy that somewhere out there in those rocks my dear friend and companion was buried alive. It was odd, you could have an army camp here tomorrow and nobody would even know there was a young woman sealed up in a cave awaiting her turn to die. I had to get out of there though. Once I arrived to the car I hesitated for a brief moment before turning on the ignition. By then I needed my headlights so on they went…and on I went.
The road was dusty and I had to be careful of deer but soon I was on the main road. I wondered what I should do – go back to Portland immediately or stay in Sisters. I decided to go home but I needed some refreshments for the trip so I headed for Sisters. I considered throwing all of Nicole’s stuff away there but that might be too dangerous. I could wait until later. I would just find a store and get some things.
Once I arrived in Sisters I looked for a store that was still open. Once I found one I parked but then wondered if Matt might have called. I hoped my battery had kept a charge so I could check my messages. However, once I logged in I froze on the spot and started to tremble. There was a call from Sara’s phone made the previous day! I wiped my face and could feel that my skin was cold. I pushed the call button and she answered, “Sara Bergman! Melanie is that you?”
I asked in a monotone, emotionless manner, “Where have you been?” My hands were so numb I could barely hold onto the phone as she replied, “Melanie, I am so sorry. I have seen you have been trying to reach me. If I tell you will you forgive me for making a huge mistake?” I merely answered, “Tell me.” She continued, “Okay, last month I was so confused. I was worried about where our love would lead but one night I just had to get my mind off things. So I went to this bar just to dance and I met this guy named Eduardo who was the son of some diplomat from Ecuador. For the life of me I have no idea why I accepted but we drove back to my place and took a taxi to the airport and the next thing I knew I was at his family’s estate way up in the mountains. It was so isolated there was no phone and the computer was off limits to me and…” I interrupted her in a harsh voice, “Can you just get to the point Sara?” Her voice broke a little bit as she continued her explanation, “Okay, I was all confused, okay? I uh, okay Melanie…I’ll be honest. I cheated on you with him. I feel so guilty. I hope you will forgive me but I have to tell you what he did, okay?” I sighed, “Well get on with it!” She then went into how she finally informed him after a few days that it would not work and she was finally fully convinced she was entirely a lesbian. When she asked him to take her home he became abusive and refused to let her leave. He even asked a priest if he would perform an exorcism to remove the demon from her but he refused and demanded he let her go. After a couple of weeks of Eduardo raping her he finally gave up, gave her some money and threatened her never to say anything to any authorities. She began to give more details but I stopped her – I did not have time for a two hour breakdown of every detail. I asked, “Speaking of authorities, did you contact the Seattle Police?” She replied, “Oh that, yes! After I called my mother she said they had filed a report and so I called to let them know I was back. She also pleaded, in a childlike voice, “It has been terrible but I miss you. Come up and see me and we’ll book the next flight to Sweden so you can meet my parents! I really need you right now.” I kept my composure as I told her, “Sara, you need to go spend some time with your parents – alone! Oh, and have a nice life!” as I hung up on her.
The horrible realization that Nicole had been telling the truth about Sara gave we
ight to the rest of what she had told me in the cave. What could I do now? Sure, life would be easier if Nicole just vanished but then again what if someone ever wonders why everyone near me seemed to die? I had racked up quite a high body count. Then again, I had Matt, which reminded me I had not looked at the other messages. Sure enough, I had two messages from him asking me to call right away. What should I do? And if I did go back what could I say to Nicole to make sure I never received an axe to the head while I slept? Decisions…
I yelled, “To hell with Sara...and to hell with Matt...I mean, no...” I cried out in anguish, “Nicole, what have I done?” I had to rescue Nicole from her tomb and fast. Thoughts of anger towards Sara were not important right then. Thoughts of love towards Matt would have to be shelved, at least for the time being.
As I rushed back to the dirt road I became terrified of the thought of not being able to find the cave. When it was light I could see landscapes, but now everything was just trees and road that my headlights illuminated. I watched the odometer to make sure I stopped at the five mile mark, but if I could not find the exact spot I would not be able to orient myself to find the cave – and to complicate things the air was turning cooler and a fog was developing. I wondered how much oxygen was left in that cave and then thought of the irony that if we had found Mark just a few minutes earlier than we did he might have survived in perfect health. Would Nicole suffer the same fate as Mark? Would I be able to get to the cave in time? Would I even be able to find it?
Melanie's Awakening Page 30
