Dissident

by Lisa Beeson

  Brenna nodded.

  “Even though she knew what it cost her?”

  Brenna sighed, sadness draping over her as she looked down at her hands. “She felt guilty and responsible for the failure of our uprising, even though we all made the choice to fight, and it was not her burden to bear. I think pushing herself to bypass the chip was her way of atonement. She gave everything she had to make sure we got out, and to let us know that because of you there was still reason to hope.”

  “But why?” Val asked, baffled. “I didn’t even do anything for you guys.” Failure sat heavily on her shoulders. Diana had asked her to help her friends, but when the time came, she had only ended up saving herself. She had left them and Soren behind.

  “She was in such awe of you,” Brenna said, breaking in to Val’s destructive downward spiral. “She couldn’t believe how strong you were. That even after everything they’d done to you, you still didn’t give in to them. Instead, you spat and you snarled like a hellcat, fighting them with everything you had. And even when you were in so much pain, you still agreed to help us… You inspired all of us to keep going. To keep fighting. And in a place like that, that inspiration was invaluable.” Brenna reached over to place her hand on Val’s.

  Rather than her normal reaction of flinching away and protecting herself from someone’s uninvited touch, Val let Brenna take her hand. The gesture felt comforting and pleasant, with an underlying swell of something more that sent her nerves tingling and heated her cheeks. The last time she’d felt that something, she’d been soul-crushingly rejected. With a spike of fear, Val nearly pulled away – nearly built up the familiar barrier to protect her heart. Instead, she forced herself to just breathe.

  Trust and vulnerability doesn’t have to be bad.

  Meeting Brenna’s eyes, she saw kindness and admiration, and that mirror of her beauty and value that she’d only seen in Ari’s eyes. But there was something else in Brenna’s gaze that Ari’s had lacked – a spark of promise, an invitation, a recognition that fanned a flame in Val’s belly. It wasn’t even about the physical attraction between them. It was more a recognition of kindred souls. The fitting of a piece Val had not even realized was missing. It was more an alleviated sigh of there you are… It felt like home.

  Now all Val had to do was not screw everything up with her big fat stupid mouth. Say something cool… say something witty… Let her know that if you’d known about her, things would have been so different… That maybe Anita’s angel wanted her to save you because maybe the universe isn’t as big of an unfeeling asshole as I thought… and possibly… maybe… because we belong together …

  “I’m glad you’re alive,” Val blurted out.

  Noooo! You idiot! You blew it!

  Brenna’s face lit up with a beautiful smile as her eyes shone with complete understanding. Scooting closer and interlacing their fingers, she whispered sincerely, “I’m glad you’re alive too.”

  Chapter 31

  Cam was perched on the slanted farmhouse roof sipping from the brown bottle he had mistaken for beer when he had swiped it from the refrigerator. Not that he was a drinker, but alcohol seemed the best beverage fit for brooding. He didn’t want to risk going back down to fix his mistake, not trusting his luck, so he just went with it. The sour citrus taste of the homemade herbal concoction fit his mood and the spearmint kick seemed to give his head a sense of clarity.

  His mom always liked to go to high places to think. She said that it helped her to put things into perspective.

  Gazing over Paradise Glades and its inhabitants with his new night vision ability was a decent enough distraction from his problems. Every living thing now had a kind of glow around it, illuminating the country landscape like an early nineties neon dreamscape. Combined with his focusing ability, a whole new night time world was open to him. If the colossal ache in his chest wasn’t crushing his will to live at the moment, he’d be ecstatic at this new level of superhero-dom he’d achieved.

  All because of her.

  Cam took another swig, unable to keep his eyes from gravitating towards Ari. Surrounded by her family and talking with Ruby, Adam, Noah, Jamie, and Alvaro. They would talk and laugh, as Ari grazed over the tables that Lanette and the Tahanas kept replenishing with goodies and treats, then talk some more and laugh. All as if Ari wasn’t about to leave forever as soon as Kael was done setting this place up by giving them access to all his tech, properties, investments, and money he wouldn’t be needing anymore. But, he guessed it was a better use of time than crying.

  Crying was for after.

  Right before Ari and Soren had shown up back in the hangar, Adam had taken him aside to tell him to prepare himself for Ari’s departure from Earth. When Cam had asked what he was talking about, he explained that she needed to go back to Anu to save her life. Something to do with changing one of the tattoos on her head before she completely transitioned. He hadn’t had much time to really think about what that meant, but he had promised to stay by her side no matter what. He had just gotten her back; he wouldn’t be left behind again.

  But then the way she had looked when he had tried to touch her, the way she flinched away from him… The surety of his world had crumbled and fallen out beneath his feet. He had no idea what he’d done, but not only wouldn’t she meet his eyes, she couldn’t even stand his touch anymore. He wasn’t stupid. He could see when he wasn’t wanted. His greatest fear was coming true. His best friend, his true love, wanted nothing to do with him. She was leaving him behind for good.

  After taking a long swig from his bottle, he noticed Ari’s eyes look curiously at Jamie’s abdomen, and then she looked back up at Jamie, askance. After a blink of surprise, Jamie placed her hand protectively over her stomach and nodded with a small prideful smile.

  The only times Cam had witnessed a woman touch their belly like that was when they were expecting. Zooming in his focus, Cam tried to see what Ari had seen, going further and further until he saw of a faint glimmer in Jamie’s lower abdomen. His last gulp sprayed from his mouth in an actual spit take. Sweet baby Jesus, I can actually tell when people are pregnant now!

  Focusing back out, Cam saw that Ari was smiling ear to ear, and the beauty of it sliced his heart to shreds.

  Her smile fell as her gaze inexplicably whipped up to the shadowy part of the roof where Cam sat hidden. Then just as quickly, it flicked away again so she could concentrate back on the conversation.

  That clinched it, she knew he was up there and she didn’t care. The last nail in the coffin, it was over.

  “Don’t go burying yourself yet, gloomy gus,” an Irish accented female voice said to his left.

  Before she even finished talking, adrenaline flooded Cam’s system at the unexpected noise. Time slowed as his reflexes and senses fine-tuned to assess the threat. Jumping into a crouch while flipping his bottle in the air, he easily caught it by the neck and held it up ready to use it as a weapon. Ignoring the remnants of his beverage spilling down his arm onto his pants and boot, Cam eyed what could only be another Xjaamin – silver iridescent eyes, hair, and tattoos. Except instead of a future-monk, this one was more like an extra in a Mad Max movie. She leaned lazily against the side of the other attic gable, eyeing him as if he was merely entertaining instead of the incredibly intimidating threat he was going for.

  “Nice reflexes,” she said, with a playful arch of her brow. “Catch.”

  Cam’s left hand snapped up to grab the small projectile she had whipped at him, while still keeping his battle ready stance, not taking his focus away from her. He had always had great reflexes, but the speed and accuracy of that catch was some next level stuff, surprising even himself. It wasn’t even his dominant hand.

  “You’ll do,” the Xjaamin said with an appreciative nod, as if he had just passed a test. “She’s done well with you.”

  “What are you talking about? And what the hell is this?” he asked as he gave a cursory glance at the metal orb in his hand.

  “Val�
��s cybernetic eye.”

  “Ugh!” Cam whipped it back at her, and she caught it just as easily as he had. “Why do you have that? What did you do to her?” Cam tensed his grip on the bottle’s neck, ready to break it and charge if needs be. Xjaamin or no, that woman would pay if she hurt Val in any way. The poor girl had been through enough.

  “Easy, soldier,” the Xjaamin said with a patronizing grin. “I come in peace.” She held up her hands in surrender. “Val let me have it after I gave her a real one. She’s absolutely fine, take a look.” She jerked her head towards the pond.

  Without relaxing his stance, he looked over towards the pond to see Val and Brenna holding hands and talking at the end of the dock. Focusing-in on Val’s face, he saw that she indeed had two identical brown eyes now; eyes that were crushing on Brenna crazy hard. Whaaaat…, he thought in a high-pitched crescendo.

  Cam glanced over at Brenna and saw that she was crushing just as hard on Val.

  Cam let out an incredulous huff of laughter. Well good for you guys. Even entrenched in his own brutal battle of heartbreak, he still managed to find it in him to be happy for them. They deserve some happiness.

  “So do you,” the Xjaamin said in answer to his thoughts. “And so does Ari. She needs you, Cam.”

  With a derisive noise, Cam relaxed his stance and slumped back down on the slanted roof – the fight leaking out of him as the adrenaline cleared his system. The Mad Max Xjaamin was unsettling, but no threat.

  “She doesn’t need me. She doesn’t even want me,” he sulked.

  “False,” the Xjaamin said as though it was an indisputable fact. “She needs you more than either of you two realize. Your role in her life is far from over.”

  Cam scowled. Cass had said those exact words to him back in that old cemetery in Delphi Falls. The words had been comforting then, but they only filled him with anger now. “Look, I was taught to respect people’s boundaries. I’m not going to force myself where I’m not wanted. She can barely look at me; she cringes away at my touch. She’s made her feelings perfectly clear.”

  “No. She hasn’t,” the Xjaamin said with a slight grimace. “She’s made a right mess of it actually. Do you love her?” Her silver eyes bore straight into his soul.

  “Yes,” he answered with a stoic conviction, while his heart screamed, I love her with every fiber of my being. I will love her to my dying breath and beyond.

  “Then give her another chance. Trust your heart. Your path transcends beyond this world Cam Baldwin.”

  Cam fought the hope rising in his chest at the possibility of actually having a future with Ari... Then his hope and excitement plunged to his feet. “Myles…”

  He hadn’t even thought about what it would do to his father if he left, possibly never to return. They had just reunited after seventeen years, how could he leave him now?

  “It’s your choice, Cam. But if you choose to go, then I’d suggest spending some time with him before Kael’s ready to leave. Time is quickly running out.” She wagged her finger as she made the noise of a ticking clock. Then with a flicker of curiosity in her eyes, she whipped the eye back at him.

  His hand snapped up and caught it before he realized what he was doing. “Ugh, why?” he asked her with a pained grimace.

  “Keep it close. I have a feeling that it might prove useful.” Then with flash of light, she turned into a large crow and flew off into the night.

  “What? How?” he shouted at the sky. Why would I ever need this?

  When it became obvious that she was not going to give him an answer, Cam looked down at the robotic eyeball in disgust. Then with a deep, bracing sigh, he stuck the eye and his empty bottle into one of his pockets and stood up, making his way back towards the attic window. No matter what his decision was, he figured he should probably talk with Myles about it.

  Grabbing onto the top of the gable, Cam pulled himself up to swing his legs through the open window, easily landing onto the bed underneath. Stepping down onto the floor, he turned back with a twinge of conscience to swipe off the dirt and straighten out the bedspread. Figuring that whoever it was they had crammed up here, probably wouldn’t appreciate someone stomping all over their bed.

  With his back turned to the door, he felt her presence like a light caress against his soul. He tensed. Though his heart was doing gymnastics in his chest, he was more than a little reluctant to face any more rejection from her.

  “Cam,” she said.

  The hesitance in her voice tightened the coil of dread around his chest. He gave a noncommittal grunt in response, continuing to straighten the already straightened blankets, still not able to turn around and face her.

  “Why does it smell like mint up here?”

  “Oh, um,” he took the brown bottle from his pocket and held it up. “I accidently spilled some of George and Tess’s concoction on myself.” He placed the bottle on top of a stack of nearby boxes, keeping himself mostly turned away from her.

  “You thought it was a beer when you grabbed it, didn’t you?”

  He glanced over to see her busily leafing through the first couple pages of an old Encyclopedia Britannica that was on top of a stack of books, her mouth quirked up into a knowing grin.

  “I will neither confirm nor deny such an accusation,” Cam said in mock indignation, trying to hide his own grin. She knew him too well.

  She chuckled, and his heart melted. His Pipes, his Ari, she was right there, except now some unknown chasm lay between them. “Ari…?”

  “Hmm?” she answered, her eyes still glued to the pages of the book.

  “Why won’t you look at me anymore?” he asked. “Please tell me what I did wrong, and I’ll do whatever I can to make it right.”

  Her breath caught, and she closed her eyes as if in pain, her face a war of emotions. “Cam, do you trust me?”

  “Of course,” he answered. Without question.

  “Then sit down.” She gestured back towards the bed. “I want to try something.”

  Cam’s heart hammered in his chest as he sat down on the end of the bed, facing her, his mouth suddenly dry.

  She walked slowly towards him, her eyes on the floor.

  With each step, his heart pounded harder, and his breath became quicker. He swallowed. “What are you doing?”

  She knelt in front of him and carefully placed her hands on either side of his face. A surge of electric energy arced between them, igniting every cell. “Come with me,” she said in a breathless whisper, as her eyes lifted to meet his.

  He looked into the unfathomable depths of her dilated pupils for only a second before he was plunged into their darkness with the sound of a train rushing through a tunnel. He was suddenly in an endless, nothingness. Just as he started to panic, an alabaster door vein with illuminated purple glass appeared before him. Strange as it was, his hand reached out towards the handle. As soon as his hand grasped the metal, it turned and the door opened to another world.

  Coming through the doorway, he stepped out onto a smooth polished floor made of sparking stone. Decoratively carved pillars made of something that had the green iridescent sheen of beetles wings, supported a series of arched domes made of a translucent milky-blue mineral. Hanging tendrils of lush vegetation and climbing vines dotted with fragrant colorful blooms grew throughout in intricate patterns as if by meticulous design. Luxurious looking benches and large sitting pillows covered in rich fabrics were spread in conversational clusters across the floor.

  The place had the feel of some kind of otherworldly cathedral or mosque. It embodied the same kind of decadent sacredness of Earth’s most opulent holy places.

  Across the space, the arches opened up onto a lagoon lying under a gold and amethyst sky holding two bright moons, a canvas of stars, and colorful nebulous swirls of faraway galaxies. Directly across the tropical lagoon stood a majestic snowy mountain range, with a frozen forest of ancient trees spilling from its base all the way down to the water. The scene defied the laws of reality, but its b
eauty was incomparable.

  However, none of its beauty could distract him from the pull he felt towards the girl seated at the edge of the open patio where the stone met the tranquil water.

  *****

  Ari skimmed her fingers through the surface of the water of Malu’s lagoon. Pastel mysks followed her finger’s wake just as they had when she was little, their delicate bodies looking like billowing silks in the wind. She had learned to swim in these waters when she was only a toddler. They would all splash and play in the sweet water unafraid of unseen predators, for nothing like that existed in the perfect world of their creation. It was their own bubble of fantasy, safe from the dangers and destruction of reality.

  She felt him stepping further into the chamber behind her, his presence like a pleasant caress. My Cam…

  “What is this place,” his voice echoed in reverent awe. “Where are we?”

  “The Inbetween,” she answered. “My mother created this place to look like the grotto from her father’s palace. It was her favorite retreat as a child, and she wanted to share it with my father, just as he shared his childhood lands with her.” She gestured towards the Thalcian Crags juxtaposed across the lagoon.

  “So Hugo and I were right that she was a person of power?”

  Ari nodded as she guided the mysks to travel in a figure eight. “My mother was what you could consider a princess. Her mother was the Sovereign. And you guys were right, it is a matriarchal society.”

  “Why did you bring us here?” he asked – his voice guarded and cautious.

  She had done that. She had created that space between them.

  Testing her theory, Ari turned away from the water and chanced a look into his eyes. It had worked for Anita, maybe it could work for her and Cam as well.

  The light of the moons reflected off the water and danced against the ceiling, illuminating the dark-amber depths of his eyes. The love she felt for him was still there, and the attraction, but the all-consuming hormonal rush of lust was left behind with her body. It had worked.