by Holly Jaymes
The table laughed again, and then returned to gushing over Nate and Hallie.
On the ride back to Mitch’s place, he was quiet at first. Then he said, “I hope my family didn’t embarrass you.”
“Not me they didn’t.”
He kept his eyes on the road, his fingers firmly clasped on the steering wheel of his vehicle. “Ever since Gabe came home with Sam, there is this need for my brothers to hassle each other over their love lives.”
“I get it. Parker and I tease each other too.” Taking a chance, I asked, “Did they know Gwen?”
Mitch’s knuckles whitened around the steering wheel. “Yes. Although I don’t think they liked her. Not that they hated her, but it wasn’t like how Sam and Hallie are treated.”
“That must have been hard for you.”
“I probably should have paid attention to it. I could have saved myself a lot of grief.” He kept his gaze out the window in a way that had me thinking he didn’t want to look at me.
“Why are you still grieving?”
His head turned to glance at me for a second. “I’m not grieving.”
I shrugged. “She still haunts you.”
“I don’t miss her, Hope. I wouldn’t be sleeping with you if I still had feelings for her.”
I turned my body to better give attention to him. “I know that Mitch. I don’t think you want her back, but she still impacts your life. Parker says you haven’t been with anyone since.”
“I’m with you.” His jaw was tight.
“Only because it’s a no-strings deal.” I reached a hand over and rested it on his thigh. “I saw you look at Gabe and Nate tonight. You’re happy for them, but also envious.”
“I don’t want what they have. Not anymore.”
“I think you do but are afraid to let yourself love again.”
He continued to drive, not saying anything for a long time. Finally, he spoke. “I see the love between my brothers and their wives, and it’s a beautiful thing. But I also see the pain in my mother’s. Every day she has to get up and live without the man she loves. I don’t want that.”
It was hard to argue with that, but I tried. “Do you think knowing what she knows now, that she would have chosen not to marry your father to avoid that pain?”
“Fuck, Hope, what do you want from me?” He gritted his teeth and turned to look out the window. There was nothing to see as the roads were dark in the mountains. “No, she’d have married him because they had years of happiness and four kids. But I don’t have to make that trade. I can avoid it altogether.”
I shook my head. “You’re still making the trade, Mitch. You just don’t know what you’re giving up, so it makes passing it up easier.”
“Why are you pushing this?” He looked at me with suspicion in his eyes, which was weird. What reason would he think I’d be getting so personal that would concern him?
“I’m your friend. I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy.” His annoyed tone belayed that point, but I decided I’d gone about as far as I could with the conversation. Besides, he was right, I realized. I did have an ulterior motive. I wanted him to open his heart to me.
Book 3: Chapter 12—Hope Over Guilt
Hope Over Guilt
Mitch
I didn’t have sex with Hope that night. Her harping at me on the drive home, on top of the comments made by my brothers, made my nerves raw. They all seemed to think Hope and I were more than friends. If my mother said something to Hope’s mother that made it seem like we were together, I’d lose Parker as a friend. I understood that fucking my friend’s sister wasn’t the same as my friend fucking my fiancé, but a betrayal was a betrayal, right?
I wasn’t kidding when I told Hope about my mother losing my father either. The loss of my father nearly destroyed us all. Thank God Will was able to step up and be the man my father would have wanted. Will not only handled everything around my father’s death, but he’d held the family together emotionally as well. Especially me. Discovering Gwen’s affair pissed me off and made me feel like a fucking idiot, but losing my father, broke my heart. To have them happen within months of each other, knocked me on my ass.
I knew most people felt that I had run away when I sold my company and moved to the mountains. They’d be right. But today, I’d built a life I enjoyed. I was content. I had friends. I was able to be outdoors and contribute to the community. Better yet, I wasn’t at risk of having my life kicked out from under me again.
I thought Hope had understood that, so her questioning me in the car confused me. She’d said she was focused on building a business, not in growing a relationship. So why was she all of a sudden wondering why I wasn’t letting love in my life? Did she want me to love her? Or was she really just being a friend? It wasn’t like Parker hadn’t ever hinted at me getting out into the dating game again.
The truth was, if I were to let myself fall again, Hope would be the one I do it for. She was smart and sweet, and while she annoyed me when she busted my balls, I liked that I could count on her to tell me the truth. I’d thought a month would be plenty of time for us to spend together. We could get each other out of our systems, and go on our merry ways. But the time was flying, and I knew the next two weeks wouldn’t be enough.
I shocked myself at one point by considering getting a place back in northern Virginia so I could be closer to her. My excuse would be to help her with her business. Or I could offer to let her stay with me longer. She had a great set up, and her designs could be sent digitally to whatever manufacturer she chose. There were all sorts of business reasons for us to continue to hang together, but who was I fooling? I liked being around her. I felt alive again, and I felt like I had a purpose. Jesus, was I falling for her?
I woke early the next morning. The sky was still dark, although I could see the shadow of light that indicated the sun would be up soon. I put on a pair of shorts and tiptoed from the room to not wake Hope. Duke followed me to the kitchen.
It was earlier than usual, but I gave him his treat.
“I’m royally fucked, Duke,” I said as I watched him eat his biscuit. Even if I did take a chance with her, the issue of Parker was there. Good God, when he kept thanking me for looking after Hope, I felt like a total asshole. Especially since my intentions weren’t good. It was not that I was taking advantage of her, but I had no plans to see the relationship through. This was a friends with benefits situation. He’d kill me if he found out the things I’d done with her, to her.
I scraped my hand over my face. “I should have never even started this,” I told Duke. But since I had, I’d have to end it or learn to live with the guilt. But I didn’t want to stop it, not in two weeks. Maybe not ever, and that thought scared me more than my fear of Parker finding out about Hope and me.
“You’re up early.” Hope appeared in entry to the kitchen wearing her sexy little shorts and t-shirt. At least I thought they were sexy.
“I couldn’t sleep.” I turned to start the coffee.
“Are you still mad at me?”
I sighed. “I’m not mad at you, Hope.” I’m fucking falling for you.
“You’re feeling something.”
I turned to look at her. I wasn’t a coward, so I’d face her. “I’m mad at me.”
Her eyes narrowed, she stiffened. “Because you feel bad about betraying Parker?”
“I do feel bad about that.”
She shook her head and looked down, but I saw the hurt in her eyes before she did. I needed to be a man. While I couldn’t tell her my crazy feelings, I could at least admit that my desire for her was stronger than my guilt.
“I don’t feel bad enough to stop.”
Her head snapped up. “You don’t?”
“No. If he finds out somehow from my brothers’ big mouths or my mother, I’ll deal with it. I’ll just tell him you seduced me.” I grinned, hoping to bring levity to the situation.
“Hmmm.” She quirked a brow.
“It’s true. A
t the river, you took your clothes off.”
“And here.”
“You had chocolate on your mouth. I’m a man, Hope, not a superhero. I’m not strong enough to resist your allure.”
She smiled. “You can’t help yourself?” She sauntered closer to me.
“Nope.”
Her hand stroked over my bare chest and lower over my already hardening dick. “You are weak, Sloane.”
I shrugged. “What can I do?”
She slid her fingers under the waistband of my shorts. “You could finish making the coffee.” She tugged at the waistband and then released it with a snap.
“Hey, I’ve got important things down there.”
“I’ll help you with that after coffee.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Coffee and a walk in the woods as the sun came up did a lot lift my mood. The entire morning routine was made all that much better with Hope walking along my side.
“Are you excited for Nate and Hallie?” she asked me as we headed the last half-mile back to the house.
“Yes. She’ll be a great mom. Look at what she’s done for Nate.”
Hope laughed. “You guys sure like to hassle each other.”
“I guess we do. But it’s all in fun.”
“Sunday dinners are a great idea. I wonder if I could get my parents to do something like that. Their life is filled with worries and stress. I think if we were together as a family, it might remind them of what was important. I’m going to try and set that up when I return home.”
“I think they’ll love it.” I, on the other hand, didn’t like the idea of her returning home. What the hell would I do all day? What did I do before? I was always busy, volunteering to help at the state park or assisting locals with their computer issues. I had my freelance work and consulting. But, in hindsight, I was just existing.
“Maybe you could come to dinner sometime too. I know my parents would enjoy seeing you again.”
“Let me know when and I’ll be there.” We made it back to the house, and I was ready to be on a new topic. “You said you’d take care of me after coffee. It’s long after coffee,” I said with a nod to my dick, who I thought was being remarkably patient.
“Don’t you have to go to town for something today?”
Oh yeah. I’d told Patsy Lyle I’d help her set up her new computer system in her shop. “I have to shower first. You can join me.” I loved shower sex. Steam, and hot water sluicing over Hope’s fantastic body. Soap making her skin soft and smelling sweet.
She gave me a sexy smile as she took her top off and dropped it on the floor in front of me and then left the kitchen. Like a dog, I followed the trail of clothes; shorts, bra, panties, all the way to the bathroom.
“You have the most fantastic ass,” I said as I watched her step into the shower.
“Take your clothes off Sloane and join me. I let you get a better view.”
“Hell yeah.” I stripped and stepped into the shower with her, pushing all my worries away. There was no Parker. No terror at the prospect that I was falling for this luscious woman. No disappointment that it was going to end in two weeks. It was time to live in the moment. To savor every touch, every sigh, every moment I had left with her. Everything else was gone. There was only me and Hope, our mouths fused, hands exploring, and together bringing each other pleasure.
Book 3: Chapter 13—Doesn’t He Want More?
Doesn’t He Want More?
Hope
After a very pleasurable shower, I went to town with Mitch, trying not to think about how much I was going to miss him when I left. For the day in town, I wore a pair of white walking shorts, floral slip-on sneakers, and a seafoam green tapered, capped sleeve blouse I made perfect for hiking or walks through town.
“That’s another one of your designs,” Mitch said when he saw me.
“It is. What do you think?” I turned in a circle so he could admire my work.
“Are those buttons or snaps?” He stepped up to me, running a finger down the front of the shirt.
“Snaps.”
He hooked a finger over the edge of my shirt between my breasts and pulled. The top snap released. “I really like that. Ideal for a quickie in the woods.”
I pushed his hands away, so he didn’t get too caught up in the fantasy. I snapped my shirt closed. “I told you outdoor wear could be better.”
“Can we test it out sometime?” He slid his hand around me, pulling me to him.
“Sure.” Although sometime would have to be within the next thirteen days. After that, I’d be gone. “Right now, though, you have an appointment.”
“Duke!” Mitch called. “Car.” As Duke ran toward the front door, Mitch gave me a quick kiss. “To hold me until later.”
The ride to town was beautiful. The sky was clear, allowing a view all the way across the valley to the west. The trees were still lush green, only weeks away from changing to the reds, oranges, and yellows in the fall.
Mitch parked in town and took my hand as we walked into a little clothing boutique. Duke followed us into the store. The clothes in the store looked mostly bohemian with pretty floral peasant shirts, skirts, and dresses.
“Oh, it’s Duke!” a woman who dressed in what my mother would call hippy-style, but had to be close to seventy said as she came from a back room. She gave Duke a pat. “Mitch, thank you for coming. We’re at such a loss with this new computerized payment system,”
“Sorry I’m late,” he said. “This is my friend Hope. Hope this is Glynnis, the owner of this establishment.”
Glynnis' eyes lit up that Mitch had a friend with him. “Nice to meet you, Hope. Welcome to my shop.”
“Thank you.”
Her eyes narrowed as she looked at my shirt. “Who makes that?”
“I did.”
“Hope is going to start her own clothing line,” Mitch said.
“May I?” Glynnis asked, reaching a hand out toward my sleeve to touch it.
“Yes, of course. It’s a cotton lyocell fiber blend for outdoor wear.”
“And yet you can wear as everyday wear,” she said.
“Yes.”
“Hope thinks that outdoor wear isn’t pretty enough,” Mitch said.
“It’s gotten better, but overall, she’s right.” Glynnis patted my shoulder. “Those caps help prevent shoulder sunburn, right?”
“Yes.” I was so pleased she knew my goal with the design. “And yet still sleeveless.”
She stepped back. “Do you have more of them?”
“Ah…I’ve just—”
“She can take orders,” Mitch said.
I looked around her boutique, noting that she didn’t have any clothes like mine.
“I also own the outdoor store next door,” she said as if she knew what I was thinking. “Mitch, would you be able to set that up too?”
“Absolutely.”
An hour and a half later, Mitch and I left the Glynnis’ shops to have lunch at a restaurant overlooking the valley. I was on cloud nine as Glynnis told me to let her know when I had an inventory to sell.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so happy,” Mitch said as we sat at the outdoor table waiting for the waitress to bring us our iced tea. Duke lay at his feet, happily chewing on a biscuit Glynnis had given him.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever been so happy,” I responded.
“You’ve been validated. That’s always a great feeling.”
“Yes, that’s it. Validated. Did you feel that way when you started your business?” I asked, leaning back slightly as the waitress set our drinks down.
“When I got my first referral was when I knew I had something.”
We gave our order of barbecue and fries.
“Now you need a manufacturer. Have you identified any?” Mitch asked squeezing the juice from his lemon wedge into his tea.
“I’ve identified a few, but haven’t talked to any. I have a few more designs I want to sketch and create, but that will be the nex
t step.” An excitement shot up my spine. “I can’t believe this is happening. For so long, it’s just been a dream. All of a sudden, it feels so real.”
Mitch reached out and took my hand. “You deserve it.”
I grinned at him. As I did, my happiness became bittersweet as it meant that when I launched fully into my dream, I’d have to leave him. “I couldn’t have done it without you, Mitch. Thank you.”
He waved my comment away. “Of course, you could have. But I’m glad I got to be a part of it. I’ve forgotten what it’s like to pursue a dream.” He looked out over the valley, and I wondered what he was thinking. Had he lost his dream? Had he failed to make a new one after Gwen and his partner tarnished his first dream?
I wanted to ask him about it, but our waitress appeared with our food.
“Do you ever think you’re going to move back near your family?” I asked when she left.
“You mean leave the mountains? No.” He took a bite of his barbeque as some of the shredded pork fell from the bun onto his plate. “Barbecue is messy but so worth it.”
I nodded but didn’t let him change the subject. “Do you ever get bored or want more?”
He eyed me over his ice tea glass as he sucked from the straw. “I have all that I need. I’d be greedy to want more.”
“Only if you equate more with money. What about a new passion or goal? What about being with your family?” I dipped a fry into ketchup.
“I see my family plenty.” He was answering my questions, but I could see the slight tension in his jaw telling me he didn’t like my questions.
“What about having your own family. I saw you with your niece. You’d make a wonderful father, Mitch.”
He shoved an entire fry in his mouth and then sipped his tea. I thought he wasn’t going to answer my question. But finally, he said, “Why do you keep harping on my life? I’m perfectly content. My life has order and meaning. Just because it’s not fast-paced enough for you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for me.”
“I’m not criticizing your life.”
“The hell you aren’t.”
