by Holly Jaymes
I sighed. “I’m just not sure I believe what you’re trying to talk yourself into. You were hurt. I get it. But Gwen and your partner win each minute you hide from your dreams and goals.”
He wiped his mouth with his napkin. I got the impression he was trying to keep calm. His voice was even when he spoke, but I heard the underlying annoyance.
“I’m not petty like that, Hope.”
I took his comment to mean he thought I was petty.
“I don’t purposefully ignore them nor do I go back into their lives and then hassle them about the choices they make.”
I understood he was talking about me now and how I’d treated him after our disastrous encounter nine years ago.
“It’s a good thing you’re leaving in two weeks, as it sounds like life is too slow for you up here. If you need to, you can leave sooner,” he finished.
“Mitch.”
He held up a hand to stop me. “I’ve given you a place to stay, an office, and even helped you on your business plan, and yet all you can do is tell me I’m screwing up my life. You’re still that spoiled, ungrateful girl I met when we were kids.”
His words hurt, as I was sure he wanted them too. “Not petty, huh?”
He looked away. “What do you want from me, Hope?”
“I want you to be honest with yourself, Mitch. You love it up here. Great. I can’t blame you as it’s beautiful. But you can’t tell me you’re satisfied bumbling around your home all day, doing the occasional freelance job and cleaning hiking trails.”
“You’re wrong.” But he didn’t look me in the eyes when he said it. Finally, he turned back to me. “Is this how it’s going to be for the next few weeks, Hope? Each time your business moves forward, you fuss at me about my lifestyle choices?”
I began to feel guilty about pushing so hard. I truly felt like he was missing out on life by not taking on a new dream. But maybe I was projecting my life on him. Or perhaps I was hoping he’d say he wanted me to stay and help me with my dream. Clearly, that wasn’t going to happen. He’d told me to leave if I didn’t like it.
“I’m sorry. You’re right. I just want you to be happy, Mitch.”
“What has happened to make you think that I’m not?”
“You sounded wistful when you talked about things coming together for my business. I just thought you missed that,” I said.
“I don’t. I have fond memories, but I have no desire to go back to my old life.”
I held my hands up in surrender. “Got it. I won’t bring it up again.”
“Hey Mitch,” a young woman who looked barely out of her twenties sauntered up to us.
“Lydia, hi.”
She put her hand on his shoulder as she looked at me. Was she claiming him? Had she and Mitch been a thing? She couldn’t even be out of college yet.
Then she saw Duke. “Duke!” she bent over, putting her cleavage in Mitch’s view. Fortunately, Mitch didn’t seem to notice.
“How’s your computer? Did you get your video working right for your Youtube channel?” he asked her.
“Yes, and I got over twenty thousand views.” She straightened. “I was having some issues with the sound though. Maybe you could help me again.”
“Sure.”
“Lydia.” A woman from the across the restaurant called to her.
“Mom calls.” She rolled her eyes. “See ya.”
I ate my sandwich and drank my drink quietly.
“All of a sudden you have nothing to say?” he asked.
“All of a sudden you liking the mountains became clearer.”
He frowned, and then he laughed. “You’re jealous.”
“She’s probably not even twenty.”
“She’s nineteen.” He leaned forward to speak in a low tone. “And if you think I fucked her, you really do have a warped sense about me.” He stood. “I’m going to go pay. I’ll meet you at the truck.”
Goddammit. Why did I keep messing this up?
I found him standing by his truck, talking to an older man while petting Duke.
“You need to come back to poker night sometime Mitch,” the old man said.
“You took all my money last time,” Mitch said good-naturedly.
“Rumor is that you have some to spare.”
Mitch laughed. The old man continued on his way. Mitch opened my door to let me in and then opened the back door for Duke, before coming around and getting in the driver's seat.
We were on the road back to his place when I finally found my voice. “I’m sorry.”
He didn’t say anything at first. Finally, he said, “Did you really think I fucked her?”
“No.”
He gave me a sideways glance that told me he didn’t believe me.
“No, I don’t think you fucked her, but she wishes you would, and I didn’t like seeing that.”
Tension in his jaw lessened slightly. “So, you are jealous.”
“I guess I am.”
He grinned.
“I guess you wouldn’t mind if a young man came up and shoved his assets in my face.”
“Hell no, I’d mind. I’d mind his ass all the way down the mountain.”
I smiled. “Good.”
Book 3: Chapter 14—A Moment to Remember
A Moment to Remember
Mitch
Admitting I would be jealous if another man hit on Hope wasn’t the same as admitting that I had feelings for her, was it? I mean, she said she was jealous of Lydia, but that didn’t mean she cared for me or wanted more from me. At least not in the love department. She did seem to want me to have aspirations or ambitions beyond living a quiet life in the mountains. But I was perfectly content. Yes, she was a nice change from the regular days I usually had, but that didn’t mean I felt like I was missing anything in my life and needed to change it. My life was carefully crafted. I was fortunate to have the money to build a life that let me decide what I did when I did it, and how I did it. Not many people could do that. Even most billionaires worked during the day. Me. I got up when I wanted. No meetings. No appointments. No deadlines. The only must-do on my schedule was my weekly dinner with my family.
Yep, life was good. No sense in changing it. At least not for the long run. The changes over the last few weeks were enjoyable. I’d had more sex over the last few weeks than I’d had over the previous few years. Despite what Hope initially thought, I hadn’t fucked Lydia or anyone else from the area since I moved there. The few hookups I’d had occurred during the occasional trips I took, or at a party, Parker had thrown that I’d decided to attend. While enjoyable at the time, it didn’t take long for it to feel unfulfilling, and so as time went on, my sex life became nearly non-existent. Except of course, in my head with the help of my hand.
With Hope, sex wasn’t just pleasurable, but it was quite fulfilling as well. I considered inviting her up on occasion after she left, but decided it would be best to end it for good when she left. No sense drawing out something that wouldn’t go anywhere. She needed to build her business, and at some point, she’d meet someone else, get married, and have babies. A part of me didn’t like the idea of another man touching her, of planting his seed and making a baby, but that was the price I had to pay for the choice of life I wanted. Turns out she was right. I was making a trade. But as much as I cared for Hope and enjoyed my time with her, I could see there was no future. Her life was in northern Virginia, and mine was here. She clearly preferred a man who had goals and ambitions, which wasn’t me.
When we got back from our trip to town, Hope went up to work, while I grabbed the latest thriller I was reading, went out to the hammock, and read, napped, and enjoyed the afternoon. Duke lay by my side, occasionally snapping at butterflies or bees that drew too close to him.
The sun was setting enough to tell me that it was about time to start thinking about dinner when the door opened, and Hope appeared.
“Slacker.”
See. She didn’t want to spend her life with a lazy ass lik
e me. “Someone has to enjoy the beautiful day.”
I got out of the hammock, stretching as I turned to look at her. There was something on her face that gave me pause. “Everything okay?”
She nodded. “Great even.” So why didn’t her face match her words? “I’ve got appointments with three manufacturers next week to discuss my plans. And the bank just pre-approved my business loan.”
I grinned. “Hope, that’s fantastic.” While I’d be happy to invest with her, I knew she wanted to earn her own way. The bank loan was another validation. I grabbed her and swung her around in a hug.
She laughed. “It’s surreal.”
“It’s deserved. You’ve been working hard. We should celebrate. I’ve got champagne somewhere. Then you can tell me why you’re less excited about this than I am.” I took her hand and tugged her inside the house.
“I am excited.”
“Not fully,” I said, going to the wine chiller and pulling out the champagne. I grabbed two flutes from the cupboard and popped the cork. Foaming bubbly sprayed from the bottle, which I tried to catch with my mouth. I poured us both a glass, handing her a flute. “To your success.”
“Cheers,” she said, clinking her glass with mine.
We each sipped, and then I said, “So what’s the problem?”
She sighed. “There’s no problem. Well, I’m a little nervous, but I’ll deal with that.”
“What then?”
“I’m ready to go. Once I have the meetings, the rest of the work I’ll need to do at home. I won’t need the extra week here.”
“Oh.” I didn’t like that. I was looking forward to the two weeks.
“I’ve been enjoying myself here. With your help, I’ve been so productive that I’ve achieved results early.”
“This is good, Hope. I mean, I’m disappointed to have you go earlier than planned, but honey, you’re on the cusp of success. Once you get your manufacturer and have your samples, you’ll get them distributed quickly. I know it. You already have one potential buyer with Glynnis.”
“I know. All of a sudden things are moving faster than I was prepared for.”
“Plus you can sell direct online if you wanted,” I said.
“Oh, I hadn’t even thought of a website.”
“Fortunately, you have a friend who knows a little something about computers and the Internet.”
She pressed her hand over my heart. “You’ve done so much, too much already. I feel like I should make you a partner.”
I shook my head. “I had help when I started. His only request was that I pay it forward. That’s all I ask of you.”
I was happy for Hope, but as the week progressed, she spent most of her time working on her designs, crafting them in the software I’d created for her, and then sewing them. She was on the phone with bankers, lawyers, and accountants. Except for our morning walks, and nights in bed, we didn’t have as much time together. I missed her already, and she wasn’t even gone.
On Thursday, I decided to persuade her to spend at least part of the day with me. It was the middle of the week, and school was back on, so the trails to my favorite waterfall would be deserted.
On our morning walk, I took her hand. “Can you spare a few hours today? I want to take you somewhere special.”
“I think I can take a break for a few hours.”
I pulled her hand to my lips to kiss it as I turned us back to the house. “Let’s go then.”
I’d already packed my SUV with what I needed. I put Duke in his pen to stay home, leaving him his favorite toys and a biscuit. Today was just for Hope and me. I drove us further up the mountain into the national park. I parked at the head of the hiking trail.
“Where are we going?” she asked as I put on the backpack.
“It’s a surprise.” I took her hand and guided her to the trail.
During the walk, we chatted about her progress so far, and plans for the upcoming week. Mostly we walked in silence, taking in the beautiful scenery and clean scent of the air. We passed a couple coming down, but for the most part, the trail was empty as I’d hoped.
“You didn’t tell me we’d be mountain climbing,” she’d said during a more strenuous part of the trail.
“Now who’s the slacker?”
She laughed. “Touché, Sloane.”
An hour later, we rounded a corner and came to the view of the waterfall. She gasped. “Mitch, it’s beautiful.”
I draped an arm around her. “Isn’t it?”
We stood in silence, listening to the sound of water falling and birds chirping. “Come on. I’ve got a secret spot.”
I led her off the path.
“There aren’t’ snakes are there?” She asked, following me through the foliage.
“Not if you watch where you step.” I finally reached the secret spot I’d often come when I needed to think and reflect. It was off the trail, secluded and hidden from other hikers. The view was even more spectacular than from the lookout point on the trail.
“We’re not going to the river?” she asked.
“We can later.” I took my pack off, pulling out a blanket, water, and some snacks.
“Were you a boy scout?” she asked as I unfurled the blanket. “You’re so prepared.”
“Tiger Cub was as far as I got in Scouting. I liked soccer better, and with four boys in my family, we each got only one activity until we were old enough to take the bus by ourselves or drive.”
Once the blanket was down, I held her hand and helped her down. I sat next to her, handing her a bottle of water.
“Do you come here a lot?” she asked, opening her bottle and drinking.
“At least once a month. This is the place where I decided to sell my company rather than go public.”
“Oh.” She sat quietly looking out over the waterfall.
“It’s also where I decided not to fight for Gwen.”
She looked at me. “That was an option?”
I shrugged. “Goals and plans are a good thing unless they lock you into a path you don’t like. I’d been locked into going public and marrying her. I didn’t know if I could or how I could get out of it.”
“I’m glad you did. You deserve so much better than them.”
I reclined back on my elbows. “Something about this place opened my mind. My initial thought was to chuck it all and walk away, which I immediately dismissed. But then I thought, why not? I remembered the many offers I’d gotten over the years to buy the company. The longer I sat there, the more clarity I got in my life. All I wanted was this.” I nodded toward the waterfall. “Natural beauty. Calm. Peace. Easy living.”
I expected her to ask me if it was still enough and didn’t I want more, but she leaned back on her elbows next to me.
“That’s a pretty insightful waterfall.”
I laughed. “Natures full of answers, if you’re willing to turn off the autoplay in your head.”
“You should be a self-help guru.”
“I know it’s corny, but—”
“It’s not corny.” She turned to her side. “Thank you for sharing this place. And that piece of you.”
I was glad she understood where I was coming from and appreciated why I couldn’t go after goals the way she was. I also hoped she realized that a part of me wished I could be different, because if I were, perhaps she and I would have a future. Not that I would say that to her, but maybe in this beautiful sacred place, she’d feel it.
“Have you ever had sex outside?” I asked her.
Her brow rose. “You want to have sex here? Is that your usual pick up line when you bring your dates here.”
“You’re the only person I’ve brought here.”
Her breath hitched, and I hoped that meant she understood that I thought she was special.
“No, I haven’t.” She said. “We won’t be seen or arrested?”
“We can’t be seen from the trail.” I drew the back of my fingers over her soft cheek.
“I guess you c
ame prepared for that too?” She smiled.
I reached over and pulled out a strip of condom packets from the backpack.
“You are prepared.”
“Only when you’re around.” I tugged her to me, lying face to face on the blanket. I pulled her into a soft, slow kiss, turning the heat up by slow degrees. Time was running out, and so I wanted to take my time, make this moment last. Whatever came in the future, I wanted her to remember this day, this moment, my touch.
Book 3: Chapter 15—He Loves Me Not
He Loves Me Not
Hope
I tried to figure out a way to prolong my stay for the full month, but I just couldn’t make it work without it being obvious that I was hanging on. I knew Mitch cared for me, but I also knew nothing would come of it. He was set in his ways. He was determined to live a simple life that didn’t involve risking his heart again. As much as it hurt me, I had to respect that. So, I told him I’d be leaving at the end of the week, and then buried myself in my work to start the weaning process.
When he asked for time together, the practical part of me said I should say, “no.” But my heart wanted to have as much time with him as he’d give me. So I went with him to his special spot.
The location was beautiful, and I could see why he’d love it. But I hadn’t been prepared for him to open up and tell me the significance of what had happened there. I understood that he wanted me to know why he was the way he was now. This place had helped him find freedom from the obligations he felt he had to his partner and Gwen, even though they’d betrayed him. In my mind, he wasn’t as free as he thought he was. He was able to leave them behind, which I agreed was good, but he wasn’t free of them. The scars they left on his heart kept him from fully living.
I’d told him all this before. I didn’t want to ruin his special place by bringing it up again, so instead, I accepted his words. And then I accepted his embrace, his kiss, his body.
During my time with Mitch, the sex was usually playful or desperate. For me, in particular, I was always in a hurry to feel him inside me. But I could tell from Mitch’s kiss that this time, it would be different. He took the kiss slowly, turning up the heat in little increments. Then he nibbled on my lips, trailed kisses along my jaw, sucked in my ear. He didn’t touch or press his arousal against me. He just kissed until I couldn’t take it and I needed more.
