Dealing in Dreams

by Lilliam Rivera

  “No. You are staying.”

  She huffs, angry at my answer.

  “Stop being a victim,” Truck says.

  There is a long pause. We mentally place bets on whether Nena will break down. Whether she will cry. If she curses us out, I can respect that. I wish for anything except this emptiness.

  “Yes, Truck.” She says this without any emotion. No anger or sadness. Flat.

  I motion for Smiley to go. She’ll return with intel. As for the rest, they will clean the station. Walk around and make sure things are in order. I need to talk with Nena alone. Once and for all, set things straight, because if not, this new Nena will not work.

  “Pop a squat.” She does so reluctantly. “I’m giving you a chance on the floor. A private session to expel this anger. It can’t go on. What went down with the Gurl Gunnas was for the greater good.”

  Nena snorts. I let it pass.

  “Truck is your second-in-command. She’s important to the LMC,” Nena says. “I’m not.”

  How long will she hold this belief? It will crush her because no one cares.

  “Did the Gurl Gunnas mess with you?” I ask.

  “They kept me caged. They spent hours letting me know how worthless I am.”

  “Words have no value, Nena. You are stupid to even let it bother you. It was business. I promised to rescue you and I did.”

  The short buzz we gave her so we could brand the side of her head is already growing out. The Gurl Gunnas used her as a deposit. It was an unavoidable transaction.

  “I’ve got to pee,” Nena says. “Can I please go?”

  I’m done trying to find an in with her. She can’t snap out of this funk. “Sure,” I say.

  Once Nena is in the Towers, she will forget how the Gurl Gunnas treated her. She will remember how we picked her to be an LMC. She was chosen.

  “Shi, how’s the Codigo?”

  Only one of them works. I tap in and send a message to Déesse’s assistant.

  “This is Chief Rocka from the LMCs. I urgently need to speak to Déesse. Please let me know when.”

  The message is sent. Now to wait.

  I start to pace. I’m nervous. I go over the dialogue in my head. How should we present what we know in the best fashion? Déesse won’t back down on this deal.

  Smiley brings food pellets and gossip. The Deadly Venoms have been spouting lies, saying we abandoned Mega City.

  “Stupid cows,” I say. “What else?”

  “The Ashé Ryders. There are people who are slowly voicing their love for this ghost crew, unafraid of the consequences. A group of toilers were caught sporting the azabaches. Déesse’s soldiers took care of them.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “They were rounded up and never seen again.”

  My heart sinks. Never seen again. It’s that serious. Déesse is not taking any chances. Violence is imminent for any toiler who finds themself on the wrong side.

  “Where’s Nena?” asks Shi.

  It’s been more than a while since she asked to go the bathroom. Where did the girl go? Shi checks around the station. Nena is nowhere to be found.

  “I saw her use the bathroom,” Truck says. “I knew I should have hollered at her to get back inside.”

  Nena bailed. I didn’t think she had it in her. To leave a crew voluntarily is never seen as a good strategy. She will be considered used, a throwaway unless she proves worthy. She can try to win passage into another crew by selling secrets. She doesn’t know about our Ashé Ryder findings. I’m not worried. I’m more upset she was unable to see we were family.

  I protected Nena for so long. I was the one who accepted her in even though Truck protested. I overlooked her flaws as a soldier and took her under my wing. How can she quickly dismiss history because of resentments? I tried to get through to her. She was so closed off. It was only a matter of time. She would have seen I was right. Sometimes older sisters are forced to make the hardest of decisions.

  A message appears in the Codigo I hold in my hand. Come to the Towers tomorrow before sundown.

  It’s set, then. Nena is probably on her way to offer herself to the Deadly Venoms. She is an idiot for doing so. She thinks we did her wrong. I could have easily left her with the Gurl Gunnas. The Deadly Venoms surely would have. Now she’s hedging her bets on a crew about to get ousted. We are hitting the Towers tomorrow, and Nena’s losing out on everything.

  CHAPTER 25

  BALLER BOSSES

  State your business.” A line of guards form a human barrier. Their tronics shine brightly by their sides. Déesse’s army. They exude a hardness that comes only from experience.

  “Déesse called for us,” I say. Truck, Shi, and Smiley stand behind me. We wear our colors with pride. There wasn’t enough time to take a bath. The news of Nena’s disappearance sidelined us. Truck and Smiley both hit the streets to see if they could find her. No luck. Nena vanished. We spent too much time trying to retrace her steps. What a waste. It doesn’t matter.

  “Who are you?” the guard says.

  “We are the LMCs,” I say.

  “You must be a ghost,” she says, never once looking at us. “The LMCs are dead.”

  We can’t get past the guards because of rumors started by the Deadly Venoms. I won’t miss our appointment.

  “You don’t mind if I send a message to her assistant to let her know about the delay, do you?”

  The guard slightly flinches, although she manages to maintain her buffalo stance. The few minutes that pass are excruciating. We stand our ground. Eventually she steps aside. We go through the first gateway. This is where we will be patted down by other soldiers. Absolutely no tronics are allowed in. We were not foolish enough to hide knives in our garments. The detectors would have easily discovered them. The soldiers are meticulous. They check our backpacks, our hair, behind our ears. It takes a while.

  Aromatic censers blanket the air whenever a new person enters the Towers. No one wants to smell toiler stench. The fragrance consists of orange blossoms, florals, and a little hint of coffee. It smells rich.

  I’ve been to the Towers only once. Santo brought me here after one of the LMC’s earlier throwdown victories. We were at the onset of our relationship. He was trying to impress me. It worked. Although I could only wait in the lobby, I couldn’t get over the lavishness. Everything was so brilliant and new. Towering marble columns matched the marble floors. Ornate chandeliers loomed overhead. A large indoor vertical garden covered one of the lobby walls. It was the largest garden I’ve ever seen. There were little nooks with sofas perfect for lounging. Santo found a secluded place for us to sit. A guard brought us food. Even dressed in my LMC clothes, with Santo I felt as if I belonged there sharing a meal with him. I remember it so well. After that day, I began plotting. I had to find a way to sustain the feeling.

  Truck will only sit at the edge of the sofa. She’s afraid she’ll dirty the velour covering. Shi and Smiley sprawl themselves. They can’t stop caressing the fabric. They sneak grins at each other. They’re practically giddy. This is their first time. I can understand the excitement.

  I can’t join in on their enthusiasm. I do what I do in stressful moments. I pace. That’s when I notice it. Tiny cracks on the marble floors. The paint seems a bit dull, as if it’s past due for an upkeep. The lobby has lost much of its luster, or maybe I’m finally taking a good look. I think about the furniture. The knickknacks on the table. These are not Mega made. They were created elsewhere. Strange when Déesse preaches the importance of objects made by hand. The chandelier was surely found and restored even if from where I stand I can see missing crystals. Not everything can retain its effect. I’m fine with this. The Towers are way better than where I live now. The bohios can’t compare.

  The elevator door opens and Déesse’s assistant arrives. She has a hurried air to her. Although she handles Déesse’s business, I am positive she is also a fighter. How did she make the leap from soldier to Déesse’s keeper of secrets? If she
was able to transition to this job and leave fighting behind, there’s hope for us.

  “You are the only person allowed to go upstairs,” she says. “No one else.”

  “This is my crew. We go together.”

  I give the signal, and the LMCs walk toward the exit. I’m not stupid enough to go anywhere by myself. We will bail. The assistant doesn’t say a word. The meeting can’t end this way. Maybe I’m wrong in bluffing. I keep going.

  “Wait,” she says just as we enter the gateway. She taps on her Codigo. “Fine,” she says after a pause. “They can go.”

  I adjust my cuffs.

  The assistant doesn’t address us or even glance our way as the elevator takes us up. She presses the button marked “12.” We are not heading straight to the last floor, and I wonder if this means anything. Truck decides to eyeball the assistant. Intimidation for no reason. As for me, I watch the numbers light up. We pass the fourth floor. I think of Graciela. This was the floor she lived on. So many people living here. So many lives with a key to their own place. On which floor will I be getting off? I won’t make the mistakes Graciela made.

  This morning I had the girls pledge their allegiance to the LMC. With Nena’s desertion, I needed reassurance from the others. Any doubts I wanted voiced aloud. There is no room for trepidation. We enter the Towers together or not at all. They vowed to keep to the task at hand.

  Still, my heart thumps out of control.

  The elevator door opens. We’re greeted by a long hallway illuminated by harsh fluorescent lights. There are doors alongside the corridor. Each door has a plaque attached to it. Who lives in apartment 12AE? Apartment 12AD? What goes on behind the closed doors?

  A couple of girls unexpectedly leave one of the apartments. They greet the assistant and exchange pleasantries. The girls are dressed in the flashiest of clothes. Colors so dizzying they make sense only in the Towers. The attire is meant for display only. They don’t have real pockets to store important items or multiple layers to ward off the cold. These girls dress without concerns. Have they ever been in a throwdown? Probably not. The chosen ones.

  “No, it will be only dinner for five.” The assistant speaks in her Codigo. She walks in a quick pace. She lists the food to be served at the dinner we are not invited to. The menu sounds delicious. My mouth waters.

  “Pay attention.” I say this to Shi and Smiley. They take note of the exits. Truck walks behind them and does the same.

  We reach the end of the passageway. The assistant pulls out a card and uses it to open the door. She gestures for us to enter, and we do.

  The apartment is completely furnished with silver furniture. So much metallic, it is almost blinding. There are various portraits of Déesse hanging on the wall in elaborate silver frames. Every piece of furniture must have been meticulously chosen because of what it symbolizes. Opulence. Yet up close it seems a bit over the top. If I were the leader, would I have portraits of myself? Are other people decorating their apartments the same way? We tag the streets of Mega City to proclaim our clout. A painting of yourself must hold the same meaning. The others love the apartment. I bet they are visualizing themselves eating off the ornate dining room table and admiring themselves in the many mirrors. There are no mirrors at our station. Why do we need the reflections when Déesse always professed interior beauty was all that mattered? Yet, mirrors line up the walls in this place.

  “Is this where Déesse lives?” Smiley asks the assistant.

  “Wait here.” The assistant walks up a set of stairs and disappears. This can’t be Déesse’s place. Although it has two levels, I sense she would need more room. I try to envision where she lives. Would there be even more portraits, more silver, more mirrors? If I lived here, would I follow an unspoken rule to show my loyalty by professing it loudly with images of her?

  “Don’t touch a thing,” Truck says to Smiley. Smiley places back a wooden sculpture of a female body.

  My crew freezes as soon as we hear footsteps.

  Santo comes down the stairs first.

  It hasn’t been that long since I last saw him. Only a week. Why does it feel like years? Santo looks good in his white suit. His beard is thick. My grin is wide. I’m really happy to see him. When he doesn’t return the gesture, I quickly drop it.

  Déesse soon follows. However, she stops midway on the stairs. She wears a vibrant red dress. Her cuffs sparkle with jewels. It’s impossible to count the freckles covering her face and neck. When I decided to tattoo my face to match hers, I tried to tally them. How many freckles would I need so I could emulate her?

  “The prodigal crew returns,” Déesse says. Santo stands in front of us, almost as if he is blocking access to her. There is no warmth in her words. This cold reception hurts. I try to brush it off. I have value. I am meant to be here.

  “How long were you planning to keep your little secret?” Déesse asks. This is not how I pictured the start of our meeting What is happening? “Do you think I’m that gullible?”

  “I . . .I don’t understand. We did what you asked,” I say. I try to take control of this narrative. “We found the Ashé Ryders. We know what they plan to do.”

  “Of course you do. When you met her, did you call her ‘Zentrica’ or ‘Yamaris’?”

  My heart drops. My crew stops breathing.

  “Get ready to bail,” Truck whispers. I shake my head. Truck is reading the room wrong. This can be fixed.

  “As a crew, the Ashé Ryders aren’t much. They are into this whole weak movement in gardening and teaching kids about music and culture. There’s a room, a bohio is what they call their structures. It’s filled with weapons.”

  “You didn’t answer my question. How did you greet your sister?”

  I feel sick.

  “She’s not my sister,” I say. My words seem so weak.

  “You sat in that healing room and lied to me about your sister being dead. Your father being dead. When they are living and breathing in Cemi Territory. You lied. Your family is coming to destroy us. You’ve found a way to lead them here.” Déesse holds on to the banister and screams this at the top of her lungs.

  “No. It’s not true. I didn’t know she was alive or the leader of the Ryders. I came back with information. I did this for you.”

  “You did this for me? Do you think you can come here with your ridiculous tattoo freckles and pretend to be our ally?”

  “The Ashé Ryders are located right before the waterfalls. It’s a pretty straight path from here.” I keep talking. I can’t stop. “They don’t have many soldiers. They have sound weapons and tronics. I’m almost sure they are dealing with the Gurl Gunnas. You have connections with the Gunnas. You can’t trust OG.”

  I am drowning. I don’t know what else to say. The words spill out of me without making sense. Déesse thinks I’m aligned with Zentrica and the Ashé Ryders. It’s not true. I came back. I lost Nena and blood on this journey. I lost almost everything. Can’t she see that?

  “Those in Mega City will not stand by while you contaminate our home with your dissention,” Déesse says. “Get rid of them.”

  With a flick of her wrist, she is done with us. She turns and walks upstairs.

  “I already know the plans you’ve been brewing,” Santo says. “It’s never going to happen. You and the Ashé will never take Mega.”

  “Who spoke? Was it OG? The Gurl Gunnas?”

  “We got to go,” Truck pleads.

  If I can get closer to him, he can pull me in and tell me this act is a lie. This hostility can’t be for me. This must be a show.

  “Santo, you know me. I’m down for Mega City and for your family,” I say. “I did what Déesse asked me to do. I went into Cemi Territory, battled, and found the Ashé Ryders. I did what she asked. I never betrayed you.”

  The space between us seems so vast. If Déesse is upstairs listening, I want her to know I’m no traitor. I didn’t pull the trigger on offing my sister. It’s my one fault. I fulfilled my duty as Mega City’s spy. �
�Let me speak to your mother. Move out of my way, Santo.” I try to push past him. He bars my way.

  “You will never speak to her,” he says. “And you will never get to the Towers.”

  Santo’s not the decision maker here.

  “Déesse! I’m here. I’ve got intel for you!” I scream.

  Truck grabs me. “We need to bounce,” Truck says. “Get it together.” The rest of the LMC move closer to the exit.

  I pull away from her. “No. Santo is not our leader,” I say to her. “Get your mother out here. We had a deal.”

  Santo moves towards me. “You don’t come to my house and give orders.” With each word, he jabs at my shoulders. “You will never see her. Déesse asked you to find out about the Ashé Ryders. Instead, you’re collaborating with them to bring the Towers down. I thought I could trust you.”

  Hate pours from him. My hands are now fists.

  “That’s not true. I’ve been loyal.”

  “I don’t think you ever noticed this. Your choker,” he says. “I’ve been schooled to how Zentrica is your sister.”

  Instantly I touch the LMC necklace given to me by Déesse. A recording device? They heard everything. Every conversation I had with Zentrica and Graciela relayed back to Déesse. I yank the choker off.

  “Déesse always had her suspicions about Yamaris still being alive. You confirmed it. When Truck asked you to finish her off, you hesitated. Remember,” he says. “Just like your sister and your father. You are nothing but the enemy.”

  Before I could clock Santo with a right hook to get his hateful mug from my face, Truck bashes his head with a fancy silver vase.

  CHAPTER 26

  CHILD’S PLAY

  Santo lies on the floor. It was all an act, a performance. I was just a prop used to further the lie his mother created. I was blind.

  “We’ve got to go now!” Truck says. She pulls on my arm. I still want to state my case. I just need to explain this to Déesse. Everything will be back to normal. Truck grabs hold of me and shoves me toward the door.