Fearless

by R. G. Alexander

  Rory snapped his teeth threateningly. “Keeps my fangs sharp.”

  Rig almost choked. “Yes, we know you’re a biter from way back. And I still haven’t forgiven you for introducing my grandmother to the slayer. It’s playing on a loop in her apartment all the time.”

  “Buffy is the place to be,” Rory said haughtily. “Nonna knows her shit. And talk about mythology...”

  “Essie and I watched that show right along with you.” David pointed to the camera over his shoulder and waved. “Joss rules. But still, you have to admit that the old vampire drooling after a teenager trope is a little gross. What do they really have to talk about?”

  Rory glared. “She’s a fan of history and he’s lived it. She has blood and that’s his favorite beverage.”

  Rig nodded like a sage. “Both of them are incredibly needy and overemotional.”

  “Hey.” Rory threw a pillow. “That’s a good point though. Biologically speaking, maybe adolescent hormones and the genetic changes from vampirism are similar. Or maybe the fact that most of them were changed so young freezes them emotionally.”

  David gestured with his hands and made explosive sound effects. “Mind. Blown. I’ll never see bloodsucking cheerleaders the same way.”

  Rory’s smile dimmed when he noticed the camera again. His sister sent it with him. I thought Essie liked me, he thought as he struggled to adjust to a situation that was quickly spinning out of his control.

  After agreeing to Rig’s terms he’d been a mess until David arrived in time for dinner. Maybe they were all feeling his panic—or they just felt sorry for him—because they seemed to silently agree to keep things light and friendly for now.

  They’d had a meal one of Rig’s family members delivered so they had more food than they knew what to do with at the moment. Pasta and meatballs, fresh-baked bread and tomato and mozzarella slices that had melted in his mouth. They ate while re-watching the latest Avenger movie and talked and laughed through the entire thing, recording their commentary for posterity.

  Exactly like old times. Sort of.

  Rory knew it wouldn’t last. Essie had sent a sexy card game that David seemed determined to play at some point, Rig was expecting Rory to admit to every feeling he’d ever had in his life and they’d all brought luggage for the duration. Actual luggage as well as emotional baggage.

  A fucking sleepover.

  A fucking sleepover?

  This entire situation was basically one big porno set-up. Three sexy, single guys, a mansion and a camera. Cue the seventies music and naked pillow fights.

  He never had this kind of hang up about sex. It was his favorite topic, his favorite activity and his favorite cure-all. It always had been. But adding David to the mix made it so much harder.

  So. Much. Harder.

  Shut. Your. Filthy. Face.

  Rig’s subdued smile was getting on Rory’s nerves. Like a sinister spider lying in wait for his prey. Eventually he sprung his trap. “So now that the movie’s over, do we want to try that game? It’s a truth-telling game Essie sent along, right? A never-have-I-ever kind of thing?”

  Yes, they caught that emphasis in the next state, Ace. Smooth.

  David shrugged and nodded at the same time, an endearingly familiar gesture that Rory wasn’t noticing at all. “Well, truth-telling for the dirty-minded,” he finally responded with a laugh. “There are some pretty kinky questions in there. The first one was about strap-ons.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  “I’m not so sure about that.” Rory glared, wishing Rig could see what a mistake this was for their group dynamic. For Rory. He was trying to behave like a damn grownup now. He’d gone on his cleanse because sexual games no longer held his interest. He’d busied himself with family and extra shifts at work because masturbation got old and he’d climb the walls if he didn’t. All of that to prove he could. That he could be worth someone’s love because there was more to him than sex.

  Now sex was all anyone wanted to talk about.

  What if Rig’s favor backfired and revealing conversations ended up doing more damage? What if his honesty put them off? Even though he’d do anything to have things back the way they were…the three of them were working like this. Mostly. Things were basically fine. He’d adapted. And more recently, he’d realized that people who thought sex could solve all their problems were suckers. Sex wasn’t about solving problems. Sex was easy. Sex was temporary.

  David and Rig were not.

  “We could test it,” David said abruptly, setting his plate down. “Float one trial balloon question and see where it goes.”

  Rory tipped back his head and emptied his water bottle while David shuffled through the cards he’d snagged from his ever-present backpack. His heart was pounding so hard he didn’t hear the question at first. And then David repeated it.

  “No. No way in hell.” Rory got to his feet in one swift move as Rig fell back on the couch laughing.

  “Yeah, I’ll give you a pass on that, Rory. Why not start with something easier, Mills? You can’t just ask how many people he’s had sex with. Try sectioning them off into bite-size pieces. How many people has he had sex with at the same time? How many people has he had sex with more than once? How many people has he had sex with that were convinced they were straight before he charmed their pants off with his magic flute? That kind of thing. They’ll still be staggering, numerically speaking, but he might be able to answer you before we die of old age.”

  Rory glared over his shoulder on his way to the kitchen. “Et tu, Rigatoni? Thanks for the help, man. You got your number handy?”

  “Hey, you’re walking out of camera range,” David grumbled, grabbing his plate to follow.

  “No, I don’t have my number,” Rig answered easily. “I’m not into keeping score. Anyway our generation isn’t stingy with sex. I don’t think anyone in our age bracket could really answer it without—”

  “Ten.” David’s lips curved as he passed them on the way to the kitchen. “My first was right before I moved here for senior year. Tragically romantic goodbye. Very short and disappointing, which she wasted no time telling me before seeing me off. Four of them during my first semester of college, which was just as shameful as it sounds. I went to one too many frat parties and those girls were aggressive with potential pledges.”

  “How did I not know he was practically a virgin?” Rig gasped, one hand to his heart. “I don’t know whether to applaud or cry or wish I’d gone to his fancy school with its aggressive women instead of our frat-less community college.”

  Rory couldn’t help but smile when David bowed. “Applause, please. Though any man with a mother and sister like mine would think my number was too high and that counting as a rule is disrespectful. I’ve told you how many marches against misogyny I went to before I hit puberty and became part of the problem, right?”

  Rory felt his shoulders relax as he realized Rig wasn’t going to make him answer. There was no way he could put a positive spin on that conversation, because he’d genuinely lost count after…a very high number. “Those marches still sound like more fun than the drills Elder had my brothers practicing in the yard after school. I swear I wasn’t sure if that man was rooting for a family football team or a good Armageddon.”

  He’d only been forced to suffer through the tail end of those, being the youngest. But Elder was a creative son of a bitch who always found ways to keep him in line. A truth he’d never shared with anyone. Not even his closest friends.

  “You got another question?” Rig asked as he put the plates in the dishwasher. “I’ll answer this time so we can spare our shy introvert over there.”

  Rory gave him the finger while David walked back to the couch, pulled a laminated square out of the pack and…choked. Rory noticed the back of his neck turn red and he knew. David doesn’t want to read that card. Since Rory didn’t want to play the game in the first place, that sounded good to him.

  “Are you sure we can’t talk about football
instead?” He sent them both his charm school smile. “Asking each other these kind of questions is like—” My new wet dream? Too arousing for my mental health?

  “None of us know anything about football.” Rig straightened up and wiped his hands on the dishrag before heading back toward the living room. “I know food, David knows sci-fi, and you know Jack…”

  “Wait for it,” Rory muttered loud enough for David to hear.

  “At least, you know Jack’s cock.”

  “You really can’t help yourself, can you?” Rory pretended to be offended as David’s shoulders shook with suppressed laughter. “So being an emergency responder and saving lives isn’t as important a skill to mention as my sexual stats? I hope you don’t choke on your foodie bona fides, buddy. No Heimlich for you.” They both laughed at him as he added, “Plus, I do actually know about football. Obsessed father. Older brothers on the team. High school mascot. Any of that ringing a bell?”

  “I remember.” David snorted, then looked down again. “I also remember you hiding books like contraband and wanting to be a librarian before you joined the ambulance brigade.”

  “Thank you for the reminder.” Rory grinned at the memory. “But you’re missing a few details. I wanted to start my career as an adventure librarian after I’d won a few gold medals in gymnastics and written the greatest novel in the known universe.” He chuckled. “Alas, my family is doomed to wander the streets of the city fighting crime, rescuing kittens and getting curious hands out of…things you couldn’t even imagine.”

  Rig stretched before sitting down again, his flexing muscles a distraction. “Not doomed forever though, right? Your brother resigned from the force after his leave, right? I was really upset to hear about that. I felt safer knowing I could use his name to get out of a sticky situation. And Brady’s doing that super hacking hero thing with his fiancé.”

  “Which brother resigned?” David’s brow furrowed.

  “Solomon,” Rory said, not wanting to bring that up. He still wasn’t sure why Younger had made that decision and his oldest brother wasn’t known for sharing his secrets with the family screw up. “We still have two firemen and a detective, but yeah, a few have been led astray. I’d bet that burned the old man’s bacon.”

  “But you don’t know?”

  He avoided David’s curious expression. “You should pick another card.”

  “He’s already got one,” Rig made a show of settling on the smaller couch before taking a drink from his water bottle. “Is it about clitoral piercings? Because I know a lot about clitoral piercings. The thing about clitoral piercings is—”

  “Stop.” Rory shook his head, his stomach knotting. “You’re banned from saying clitoral for the rest of the night on principle.”

  Rig made a face. “Come on. It’s just us. It’s not like he’s going to embarrass me.”

  Rory met David’s hesitant gaze and swore under his breath. He reached over and snagged the card from his hand, reading it before laughing under his breath. “That sound you hear? That was our trial balloon crashing on impact.”

  He tossed the card to Rig a little angrily, knowing what he would see.

  Do you prefer to give or receive oral?

  What were the odds? No, seriously.

  Jen and her men had done this to him. Left him with her dogs and his friends with their sex questions in this magical ménage mansion—because rich people in love were known for thinking logically and should be in charge of everything.

  Not.

  It was so quiet he could hear the dogs panting as they ran up and down the stairs for no apparent reason other than boredom. He could hear Rig’s heavy sigh and David’s nervous inhalation and all he could think was, We all know the fucking answer!

  “I’m still dehydrated from last night, but I think this game Essie gave us is a giant success and not awkward at all.” Rory gave a sarcastic thumbs-up to the camera before David reached over to shut it off. “Spoilsport.”

  “Rory.” David tugged at his t-shirt uncomfortably and Rory noticed it had something to do with that show that had the two hot brothers and a fallen angel driving around in an old car. Super something.

  “Are we going to talk about it?” Rig asked as he sent Rory a look that could set his clothes on fire.

  “About what?” The giant blowjob in the room? “I’d much rather watch Captain Awesome shred wood with his bare hands again.”

  “Captain America,” David gritted between his teeth, looking as tense as Rory felt. “And join the club.”

  See? That was the David he remembered. He wasn’t pan or bi or try-anything-sexual-with-a-man. He was a sexy geek who loved sci-fi, fantasy and boobs. A man obsessed with cleavage and dragons. He’d actually had a poster of Scar Jo on his office wall for years.

  Rory would have sworn it didn’t get much straighter than that.

  He’s more than that.

  David also had an affectionate nature and an easy sense of humor. More than that, a stillness to him. The kind of serene confidence and inner center that smoothed out Rory’s jagged edges and made him happy…when he wasn’t unconsciously driving him crazy with a hand on the back of his neck or a tender smile.

  He wasn’t saying David was flawless. He could be closed off and too quiet, and he was almost stubbornly naïve.

  Closed off enough to ask for space without explaining why.

  Naïve enough to let a few kisses and a warm mouth confuse him.

  “I say we put it to a vote.”

  Rig scowled. “I cashed in my favor so we could have some honest conversation for once. This is happening, Finn. Like it or not.”

  “Shit,” David groaned. “You didn’t tell me about the favor.”

  Rory nudged his shoulder in solidarity. “Still happy you came over?”

  Rig’s hands slammed together, startlingly loud in the high-ceilinged room. “We’re asking our own questions. No cards necessary. I’ll start.”

  “You are just full of good ideas.” Rory clenched his fists on his thighs, waiting for the hammer to drop.

  “David, since this is an issue and it doesn’t need to be, will you tell Rory what we were talking about before we kissed last week? Before you let me do more than kiss you?”

  Rory could see David was as surprised as he was that the question had been directed his way. As Rig stared at him supportively he started to blush. “Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.” He rubbed his hands together, his side brushing against Rory’s as he answered.

  “Him.” He blurted, gesturing a little nervously. “I mean your relationship with Rory. Getting together in college. The things you did together.” He swallowed audibly, lowering his voice. “What you do when you share a guy.”

  Rory wondered idly if his erection could tear a hole in his jeans as he took in what David was saying. They’d been talking about that? Before he’d given David a blowjob, Rig had been discussing those few memorable weeks in college when they’d been an item?

  It had never been what Rory would call romantic, but it had been one of the best times he’d ever had. A marathon of hot, sweaty wrestling that had taught Rory a lot about himself. Particularly how far he could go. How much he liked to be in control and how willing Rig was to follow his lead.

  You wouldn’t call it romantic? So you were running scared for no good reason?

  It had been the right decision to back off in order to keep the friendship. Other than David, Rig was the most important person in his life. He was impossible to shock, loyal to the bone, and Rory loved him. Enough to use whatever tools he had to keep him in his life. Enough to give him what he needed, favor or no favor.

  The idea that David had heard all the graphic details—had asked for them—was almost too much for Rory to process. “Why would you want to know about that?”

  “Because it’s hot as fuck and it’s not your turn to ask a question,” Rig interrupted smoothly. “But that’s not how it started. David wanted to know how we were able to be friends after our
short-lived hookup. He wanted to know why it seemed so easy for us, and not for the two of you.” He licked his lower lip, watching them. “You should answer that, Rory.”

  Rory ran a hand through his hair, trying to think of what to say. “It’s not like it’s unheard of. At least, not in my family. Tasha and Jeremy used to have threesomes with strange men and they’re still best friends. Either that, or Stephen and Owen are way more open-minded as husbands than I ever imagined.”

  Rig coughed lightly and reached for his drink. “Total honesty time. We made the decision to pull back after our first Spring Break. The one where we met up with David and his new girlfriend at the beach and stayed in a rental together. She’d ditched him by nightfall because he was too damn excited to see you to give her the attention she wanted. I saw what was between you two, and more importantly, I understood what I was seeing. So, since I’d already made the decision to keep you, I was ready when you started backing off and willing to accept being just friends with occasional benefits.”

  “Is that true? It was that Spring Break?” David asked, sounding surprised. “You’d been together before that?”

  But Rory’s head was swimming. He’d forgotten.

  Rig hadn’t. Even after all this time, he hadn’t missed a thing. It was beyond disconcerting.

  Rory was the one scowling now. “Why did you want to stay friends with such a stupid prick?”

  “He’s high maintenance, I’ll give you that,” Rig told David, his gaze still resting on Rory. “But worth every bit of the effort. Plus, I love that prick, so keep the insults to a minimum.”

  Rory covered his eyes. All this time. Did Rig think David was the only reason Rory had pulled away? He was part of it, but it was so much more complicated and fucked up than that. He didn’t want him thinking it was that simple. That he was that easy an addiction to quit.