Halve Human

by Stephanie Fazio

  With a last jerk, Fake Hendrix’s eyes roll back in his head. I gasp as the whites of his eyes seem to fill with fluid until all the color, all the white, has been replaced by inky black. His body crumples into a ball and stills.

  “Is he dead?” My voice is unnaturally high.

  “Not at all.” My father nudges the Dusker’s still body with his boot. “His body is adjusting to the new blood.”

  I flex my hand, allowing blood and feeling to rush back into my fingers.

  Exhaustion still makes my limbs feel like lead, but there’s something else, too. A new, unfamiliar strength fills my veins. It’s like whatever happened to me when I touched the Dusker’s skin took away my energy but replaced it with something else. I close my eyes and allow myself just to feel.

  When I open my eyes, the man huddled in a heap on the floor is no more. In his place towers a black-eyed Zero. If it weren’t for the ratty gray cloak stretched across its chest, I wouldn’t recognize this creature for what it used to be. Muscles that couldn’t exist on any human stand out on the Zero’s flesh, bulging and rippling with every movement. Even though the chamber ceiling must be eight feet high, the Zero has to hunch its shoulders to keep from scraping its now-bald head.

  The Zero bears some resemblance to the ones surrounding my father, but it’s also different. This Zero is just more. It’s taller and more muscular, and its whole body quivers with untapped energy. Even Brogut looks insignificant and flabby by comparison.

  “Magnificent,” my father breathes.

  The Zero lifts up its head. It sniffs the air, two long inhales as it sucks air through the slits of its nose. Its black eyes swivel on me.

  As its eyes find mine and the silent connection is formed, a rush of power flows through me. The very air seems to thrum with it. There is a burning deep inside of me I don’t recognize. A strength I’ve never known envelops me like a blanket. I feel dangerous.

  “Even I can feel it,” my father says.

  “Feel what?”

  He motions toward the Zero. “Its new strength is in part your own.” He stares thoughtfully at me for a moment. “When you test yourself, my guess is you may find your own strength enhanced.”

  I’m…stronger?

  “There are no others like you, Hemera.” My father’s voice carries a note of pride. “Your powers can be limitless, if only you reach out and take them.”

  My father’s words light the hunger that has been growing inside me since I pressed my palm to Fake Hendrix’s flesh.

  “Does it know what I did?”

  My father shakes his head. “What you witnessed earlier was not just a physical transformation.” He regards the new Zero. “The new blood destroyed the Dusker’s mind. This creature before you recalls nothing of its past life.”

  “It doesn’t remember who it was five minutes ago?” I ask, swaying on my feet. Ekil puts a hand on my arm to steady me.

  “Any memory tied to emotions disappears, as the creature itself no longer has any capacity for emotion. Fortunately,” he stares up at the Zero, “they are instinctive creatures. They retain knowledge about how to survive, which makes them excellent soldiers.”

  My father’s eyes flick to me for a fraction of a second before returning to the Zeroes. “Your blood runs through its veins. And so it is under your command.”

  I think I detect a hint of wistfulness in his voice.

  The Zero sniffs the air again, and takes a step closer to me.

  “Think of it like a young animal scenting its mother,” my father explains.

  The analogy is almost laughable.

  “Could Brogut control the Zero, since it carries his blood, too?” I ask. For some reason I can’t explain, I want my father’s answer to be no.

  “No,” my father says, and I let out a sigh of relief. “There is far more of your blood inside it than the Halve’s, and thus it is you the Zero scents most strongly.”

  A black stripe marks the spot just above the Zero’s collarbone where my blood and the Halve’s entered the Dusker’s flesh. Without knowing why, I reach a hand up to touch the spot.

  I expect the Zero to flinch away, but it doesn’t move. The Zero’s skin is rougher than a human’s, but not as scaly as the Halves’. Its black eyes stare straight ahead as my hand closes around the pulse at the Zero’s wrist. A strange ripple of energy passes through the Zero’s flesh into the place where my fingers are pressed against its pulse.

  “You want to protect your people.” My father’s voice is hushed, reverent. “This is the way.”

  This…creature…is made of flesh and bone. It breathes in and out like any other living being. Its cords of muscles press at the edges of the Zero’s skin as if they’re about to burst out. This terrible, beautiful creation standing before me didn’t exist minutes ago. I created it.

  Strength flows into my hand, and I can’t tell whether it’s coming from me or from the Zero’s pulse where my fingers still rest. A heady rush passes through me again, but this time, I recognize it for what it is. It’s the sheer, raw power of having made something stronger than any other creature alive. And it answers to me. Terror and elation war within me.

  My father huffs impatiently. “Go on, give it an order. It is at your command.”

  The black depths of the Zero’s pitiless eyes swivel on me, sensing my gaze. Hesitation fills me at the sight of this hulking brute. I wipe the sweat from my brow, feeling the sliminess of blood that still rests atop my freshly healed hand.

  Wokee once told me hyenair can sense fear, which makes them think of prey. He said any hesitation is seen as submission, which makes the animals see you as food. He said the key to not becoming Vlaz’s lunch was to pretend to be bigger and stronger.

  While I doubt the Zero would try to eat me, I think the same principle must apply. I straighten up to my full height, forcing myself to look into the Zero’s unblinking stare.

  “Can you break free?” My eyes move to the shackles squeezing around the flesh of its muscled torso.

  “I’ve found orders to be most effective when combined with hand gestures,” my father says.

  I point at the chains, miming the act of ripping them off. It feels incredibly stupid.

  The Zero’s black eyes swivel onto the manacles. Twisting its great shoulders, the Zero snaps the iron links wound around its middle. The iron pieces fall to the ground and skitter across the stones.

  The Zero bends down, picks up a piece of the chain, and offers it to me.

  “Marvelous.” My father claps his hands together.

  The Zero stares unblinking at me, the chain still gripped in its enormous hands.

  “You are making history, daughter. You are bringing in the new age.”

  “And what age is that?” My voice is unsteady.

  “The age of the Bisecter, of course.”

  CHAPTER 29

  Even though there is only a small mark on my palm from the one-hundred times I slashed it with the knife, the fire running through my veins hasn’t receded. It’s not unpleasant, exactly, just different. I feel both less and more, somehow. A part of me went into each transformation, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever get those pieces back. Still, these hundred Zeroes standing before me, their black eyes trained on me, infuse me with a strength that is twice, three times more than whatever I lost.

  I feel more powerful than before.

  Ekil and Brogut are both slumped against the wall, exhausted from blood loss. Even though they gave less blood than me, and their skin didn’t directly touch the Duskers’, they are slower to recover than I am. By the end, they were both shuffling from prisoner to prisoner as though their ankles were weighed down with bricks.

  “Time to rest,” my father announces, nodding to Ekil and Brogut.

  My father leaves the door open as we file out. The Zeroes are no longer chained, and there’s nothing to stop them from walking right out of this place. Somehow, though, I know they won’t.

  My father disappears down the path,
saying something about getting a tonic that will help renew the Halves’ strength. I stand with the two Halves outside the chamber. Ekil slumps to the ground.

  “Thank you,” I say. “I know that wasn’t easy—”

  Brogut, teeth bared, takes a step toward me. His balled fist makes a weak swipe at my throat. I block it. Brogut darts his head forward like a serpent, his jaws snapping shut on the air just past my ear. I push him against the wall, pinning his arms to his sides.

  “Were you trying to bite me?” I ask the Halve, bemused.

  “You trick us.”

  “That’s not an answer.” I release Brogut, putting my hands on my hips.

  “Make Halves weak,” Brogut says, motioning at Ekil.

  “I’m trying to help you,” I say, feeling my anger rise. “What do you expect from me?”

  “Making monsters is bad,” Brogut snarls.

  “We’ll see if you still say that when we’ve defeated the Duskers and you get your river back.”

  “Sleep now,” Ekil says, gesturing for us to help him to his feet.

  “Just a minute, Hemera.” My father stands a way down the path, regarding me. There are two small vials in his hand.

  I grab the vials and give them to Ekil. After translating my father’s instructions for how much of the liquid to swallow, I wave the Halves on. “I’ll meet you there,” I tell them, before turning back to my father.

  “So how do you feel?” he asks as soon as it’s just us and the Zeroes.

  How do I feel? Alive. Alive in a way I’ve never felt before.

  “It’s the blood bond,” he says, regarding me.

  “The what?” I look up from where I’m observing the scar across my palm. Even though the wound has healed, the black slash remains. Strange.

  “When you created the Zeroes,” my father clarifies. “It made you stronger.”

  Blood bond. So that’s what I felt with every transformation.

  “Show me,” my father says. “Don’t hold back.”

  My father’s words light the hunger that has been growing inside me since I turned Fake Hendrix. Taking a deep breath, I let the need inside me swell.

  The rush of strength as my fist cuts through the air is like nothing I’ve ever felt. I close my eyes, bracing myself for the pain of my bones cracking as my fist slams through the thick stone wall of the chamber.

  I hear—rather than feel—the jarring of my bones. There’s no pain. Stone crumbles into dust as the entire section of wall dissipates into a puff of smoke. It’s like it never existed. A rumbling follows. A huge chunk of rock cracks away from the ceiling.

  The rock falls toward us. A part of me is aware of my father throwing himself to the ground behind his Zeroes. Thrusting one fist into the air, I punch straight through the stone. The entire slab of stone disintegrates before it reaches the ground.

  Dust fills the air and blinds me, but I hardly notice. The Zeroes don’t try to shield themselves or even flinch as debris rains down around them.

  I’m barely winded. Raw, unbridled power pumps through my veins. I feel like I could take down the entire mountain if I wanted.

  I was strong before. But this…this shouldn’t even be possible. My fist is bloodied, but the bones and flesh have already knit back together. There is none of the pain or exhaustion I felt using my strength in the past. I’m left only with a single thought. More.

  My throbbing pulse begins to slow and my vision clears. The wave of power recedes somewhat, and I feel more like myself again.

  “You amaze me, daughter.” My father’s voice is hoarse from the rock dust.

  I turn to face him.

  “Don’t talk to me like that…like we’re suddenly okay.” I’m breathing hard, but not from the exertion of destroying a wall of stone.

  “I don’t understand—”

  “I know you only saved us because you needed me for this,” I flail my hand at the Zeroes. “It doesn’t change everything else you’ve done.”

  “I did what I had to,” my father replies, his voice an infuriating calm. “Without the experiments, this,” he mimics my hand gesture, “would never have been possible. Sometimes, the sacrifice of a few is needed for the greater good.”

  “That’s your excuse for everything,” I say, my voice rising.

  “It’s the truth,” he replies.

  “What about my mother?” I explode. “Did you have her killed because you thought it was necessary?”

  At that, my father seems to grow smaller.

  “I never meant for them to kill her,” he says. “The Halves were not as controlled as I thought. It was an accident.”

  “Like I’m supposed to believe that,” I snarl.

  “I loved her.”

  The words are so foreign coming from his lips I’m dumbstruck. I don’t think I’ve ever heard him say love in my life.

  My father shakes his head. The faraway look has been replaced by the intelligent gleam I’m familiar with. “You understand what it’s like, don’t you?”

  My breath catches. I didn’t think he knew what happened to Brice, but his shrewd look tells me he knows exactly what happened.

  He nods at whatever he reads on my face.

  “This changes nothing,” I tell him.

  “If you want the world to change, your understanding of it must change, as well.”

  His words follow me as I stalk back down the path.

  I go down to the river instead of up to the sleeping chamber I share with the rest of my companions. My mind is too jumbled, my anger too hot. I don’t want to admit that any part of what my father said could have truth.

  As I plunge into the water, my fury cools. Some part of me knows my father’s cruel experiments have given the Solguards their last ray of hope. I’m not grateful for it, and it certainly doesn’t erase his crimes, but it’s something.

  The thought comforts me.

  And then there’s part of me, the part I’ve been ignoring since my father and his Zeroes appeared to rescue us, that’s relieved to be on the same side as my father. Creating the Zeroes with him felt a little like when we were in the Subterrane, before I knew about everything he’d done.

  I’m still trying to puzzle my way through these thoughts when I head back up the path into the mountain.

  Whatever I expected to find when I opened the door of our small chamber, it certainly wasn’t Dayne holding a knife to my father’s throat. And yet, that’s exactly what I find.

  CHAPTER 30

  I won’t let you,” Dayne is saying. “I’ll kill you before I let you corrupt her.”

  My father, for once without his Zeroes, stands calmly, his face blank of all emotion.

  “Thank the sun,” Ry says as soon as I step into the room. “Hemera, do something before your brother gets himself hurt.”

  “I’m the one with the knife,” Dayne growls.

  “Yeah, and he’s the one with the Zeroes,” Ry retorts.

  “Dayne?”

  I put a hand on his arm and feel the way it trembles with his contained fury. “Dayne, it’s okay,” I say, tugging his arm down. “I’m okay.”

  Dayne gives my father a murderous look. My father simply hands me a vial, telling me to give it to the Halves after they finish the ones from earlier, and strides out of the room.

  “What was that about?” I ask Dayne.

  “He’s slippery,” Dayne says, breathing hard, “and I won’t let him manipulate you for his own ends.”

  “Dayne, we’ve been through this.” I rub my eyes, feeling tiredness descend. “We both want the same thing for now. Nothing else has changed.”

  “I know what he’s like,” Dayne persists. “Hemera, I can’t protect you against him.”

  The way Dayne’s face sags in defeat at this admission should make me feel pity. But it doesn’t.

  “I don’t need your protection,” I say.

  “No good can come of an alliance with him,” Dayne persists. “No good can come from these Zeroes.”


  “So you’ve said.” My voice takes on a sarcastic edge. “And yet, no one else is doing anything.”

  “Sometimes it’s wiser not to act,” Dayne says.

  “I tried that.” My voice is rising. “Do you remember what happened to Jadem? She’s dead because I didn’t do anything!”

  “Hemera—”

  “Don’t say it,” I warn.

  It wasn’t your fault. The words echo like a chorus meant to torture me.

  Dayne stares at me for a long moment.

  “I’m taking a walk,” he mutters.

  When the door closes behind him, the room is left in silence.

  “We go to hunt,” Ekil says, breaking the stillness. He and Brogut take the vial and stalk out of the room, leaving Ry and I alone. Deflating with their absence, I sink down onto my bedroll and bury my face in my hands.

  “Oh Mer,” Ry comes to sit beside me.

  “I didn’t mean to yell at him like that,” I say, my voice muffled from behind my hands.

  “Dayne will be back,” Ry says. “He just needs to cool off. You know how men can be with their grudges.” She rolls her eyes, which gets a small smile out of me.

  “What if he’s right?” I ask.

  Ry gives me an appraising look. “I never told you this, but when Jadem found me in the ruins of my settlement, I was about as full of regrets as you can get.” Her voice is flippant, but there’s a hardness underneath. “Jadem told me something that’s stuck with me. She said I was a Solguard now, and Solguards don’t have time for regrets. She said the difference between a Solguard and the Banished is choosing to go forward, even when it seems hopeless.”

  “So, you think I did the right thing?” I ask.

  Do you think Aunt Jadem would have thought I’m doing the right thing?

  My hand fumbles for the silver key dangling at my throat. What would you have wanted me to do? I want to ask my mother. The answer comes as quickly as if she’d whispered it in my ear.

  Be brave, Mer.

  My mother wouldn’t want me to be afraid; she’d want me to do whatever I had to in order to spare innocent lives. Isn’t that what she did herself all those years ago?