Halve Human

by Stephanie Fazio

  “I do.” Ry gives me an encouraging smile. “Whatever the outcome, I believe your aunt was right. You’re going to save us all.” She laughs. “But no pressure or anything.”

  A half-sniffle, half-laugh escapes me. Ry winks at me.

  “Ry,” I say, sitting up. “I need to apologize to you.”

  “Apologize? For what?”

  “When you walked in on Wade and me.” I swallow. “I swear I didn’t know you felt that way about him.”

  A burst of laughter leaps out of Ry’s mouth, startling me. I give her a questioning look.

  “Dellin was right,” Ry says, looking amazed. “You really don’t know.”

  “Know what?” I ask, feeling defensive at the mere mention of the other girl’s name.

  “Do you love him?” Ry asks, rather than answering my question.

  “I don’t know,” I shake my head, all the confusion and pain rushing back. “I think so, especially when I’m with him. But then I think about it, and I can’t help but feel…guilty.”

  “Guilty?” Ry asks, like the answer surprises here. And then, after a moment, “Oh, because of Brice?”

  I nod, trying not to think about how even the mention of his name feels like a weight on my heart.

  “Hemera, he was a selfish bastard,” Ry says. “There’s nothing to feel guilty about.”

  My harsh laugh fills the room. “He died saving my life. I’m pretty sure that should earn me a lifetime of guilt.”

  “You made a choice, Mer.” Ry moves closer to me, rubbing soothing circles on my back. “Just like you did today. You chose to do something, and right or wrong, that means something.”

  “What does it mean?” I ask, relaxing into her touch.

  “It means you’re brave,” she says. “That you’re willing to do what no one else can for the sake of something bigger, something more.”

  For some reason, her words strike me in a way that no amount of reassurance from Dayne or Aunt Jadem ever could.

  “Let the guilt go, Mer,” Ry says, still rubbing circles on my back. “Just let it go.”

  And just like that, I feel a weight being lifted off my chest. A small sigh escapes me. I feel myself being lulled into a heavy-lidded state of relaxation.

  “What was Dellin right about?” I ask Ry.

  Her hand falters on my back.

  Ry clears her throat. “Mer.” She shifts away from me, turning her head so I can’t see her face. “That high day, when I walked in on you and Wade….” She trails off. The tips of her ears have turned crimson.

  I’ve never seen Ry like this before.

  “If I had known you felt that way about him,” I say, trying to make her feel less embarrassed, “I would have talked to you first.”

  Ry screws up her face. “I’m not in love with Wade.” She says it like she can’t imagine anything more disgusting. “For sun’s sake, Hemera, he’s like a brother to me.”

  “Then why did you seem so upset?”

  Ry laughs again, the redness spreading from her ears all the way down her neck. “Dellin said you had no idea, but I didn’t believe her. I thought it was just so obvious.” Ry reaches up and strokes her thumb across my cheek.

  “What’s obvious?” There’s a strange fluttering in my stomach. I have no idea what Ry is working up to telling me.

  “It was you I was after.” Her voice has gone low and sultry, and for some reason, that makes my blood flow a little faster.

  “Me?” I ask, a little breathless now.

  Instead of saying anything else, Ry leans forward, closing the space between us. Ry cups my neck with her hand. And then her lips are touching mine.

  I’m so startled I can’t react at first.

  Ry pulls back just enough for me to see the desire and question in her eyes. When she leans forward, I don’t pull away.

  Her lips are on mine again, but firmer this time, like the silent question that was asked has been answered.

  “Hemera,” Ry murmurs against my partly-open lips.

  I squirm at the realization of Ry’s tongue doing…things…to the inside of my mouth. I don’t pull away. I can hardly breathe.

  Tingles go up my spine as she tugs gently on my lower lip with her teeth. Alarm bells ring in my head. There is a reason why this is wrong, completely wrong, but I can’t remember what that reason might be. My limbs turn to liquid as I melt into her embrace. When one of Ry’s hands glides up and brushes over my chest, a shudder goes through me.

  “Ry,” I squeak, but she silences me with another caress of her hand, another tug on my lip. A small sound rumbles deep from somewhere inside me as she presses me down onto the ground. There are stones digging into my back, but I barely feel them.

  Ry’s lips move down, tracing a line across my throat. Sensations light my insides as her hand sweeps lower, finding its way beneath the hem of my shirt.

  “My strong, sexy, Bisecter.” Ry says the words between kisses. “How I’ve wanted this.”

  I’m not sure what makes me do it…maybe it’s the fire still coursing through my blood from changing the Zeroes. But instead of being embarrassed, instead of pulling back, I wrap my arms around Ry and submit to her caresses.

  “That’s right.” Ry slides her tongue along my skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

  I don’t notice the sound of the door opening and footsteps moving inside until Ry has already rolled off me.

  Ekil and Brogut shuffle into the room, Brogut with a new tree trunk spear and Ekil with the remains of two partly-devoured fish.

  My blood pounds in my ears. When I steal a glance at Ry, she winks at me. Her face is flushed, but nothing else about her reveals…that just happened.

  I don’t even know what that was.

  “I think we should all get some sleep,” Ry announces. She gives me a wicked grin before flopping down onto her bedroll. I don’t know how she could sleep after what we just did, but in minutes, she’s breathing deeply.

  When the sound of Brogut’s snores are so loud I’ll either go crazy or punch something, I make my way from the room, closing the door behind me. As soon as I’m alone on the path, I press my back against the wall, breathing in the stillness.

  Wade. The image of his face fills my mind in the absence of other sight and sound, even as the ghost of Ry’s lips and hands still play across my body.

  How could I betray him like that? Wade is the one who is in my dreams. He’s the one who—with the absence of my guilt for Brice—I know I want.

  So why did I do…that…with Ry?

  It didn’t feel the same as when I kiss Wade. When I kiss Wade, it’s more like I’m trying to show him everything I’m thinking and feeling through our touch. But this…this felt easy, without the weight of expectations or unspoken promises. This felt exciting, dangerous. Like how I feel with the Zeroes. A small shiver runs down my spine.

  I can feel the weight of Wade’s Solguard pendant at my throat. For once, though, the weight of the metal doesn’t comfort me.

  “Hemera? What are you doing out here?”

  I almost jump out of my skin at the sound of my brother’s voice.

  “Nothing,” I answer, too quickly.

  Dayne sighs. “I’m sorry, little sis.” His gaze slides to our mother’s silver key hanging around my neck. “It’s just, being in this place…being around him.” Dayne sighs again. “After everything that happened with our mother,” he shakes his head. “I just promised myself I wouldn’t leave you alone to deal with him again.”

  I know it still eats at my brother—that he was in Malarusk when my mother was killed. That so many years passed before he learned I was still alive.

  “I’m sorry, too,” I say. “I shouldn’t have talked to you like that.”

  “We have to look out for each other,” Dayne says, and I know he’s thinking about Aunt Jadem. “It’s just us now, Mer.”

  For some reason, I think of the Zeroes.

  CHAPTER 31

  Voices rouse me from
the depths of sleep. Loud voices. I crack open my eyes.

  “Well, if it isn’t my favorite Bisecter!”

  It takes me a confusing moment for me to place the familiar voice.

  “Jarosh?” I croak. “What are you doing here?”

  “Looking for you, of course,” Jarosh replies.

  I look up to see my friend smiling down at me. Except it’s not the Jarosh I remember.

  “You look amazing,” I say, rubbing my eyes.

  Jarosh waggles his eyebrows. “Didn’t know it was like that between us.” He leans closer to me like he’s going to tell me a secret. “It’s fine with me, but have you ever seen your boyfriend pissed off?”

  I give him a playful shove, and then hurry to steady him as he stumbles backward.

  “Oops, sorry,” I grin as Jarosh rubs his side, wincing. “But seriously,” I prod. “What happened to you?”

  Jarosh’s skin is glowing with health. His muscled frame gives off no evidence of his recent near-death. Before, his hair had been pulled into a perpetual knot at the base of his skull; now, it now hangs in glossy waves down his back. Colorful feathers and wooden beads are braided among the strands. He looks somehow taller and more filled out.

  Jarosh grins and shrugs. “Life with the Halves has been good to me.”

  Standing behind Jarosh, one hand on his shoulder, is the female Halve that healed him.

  “Camike, right?” I ask.

  She steps out from behind Jarosh and gives me a shy smile.

  “No way,” Ry says. She’s standing in the doorway, her eyes narrowed, as Jarosh wraps his arms around Camike and reaches up to kiss her. “Please tell me you’re not dating a Halve.”

  “I dated a healer once,” Dayne says, looking bemused. “Good with their hands.”

  “List of things I didn’t need to know about my brother—”

  “Blech,” Ry says, pretending to gag.

  “Halves don’t date,” Jarosh says with a roll of his eyes. “They are far more refined than humans in that regard.”

  Ry and I exchange a look.

  Camike, noticing my attention, points to Jarosh and says, “My mate.” I could almost swear the rough skin of Camike’s cheeks have turned pink.

  I blink at her in surprise. Her words are crisply articulated in the human language.

  “My mate.” Jarosh confirms, winding an arm through Camike’s and smiling at her in a way that pulls at my heart.

  “But you can’t even speak her language,” I say.

  “It’s a work in progress.” He makes a strange grunting noise that has absolutely no meaning in any language, followed up with equally senseless hand gestures and a caress to Camike’s cheek. Camike beams.

  There’s a goofy grin on Jarosh’s face I’ve never seen before. And it’s all for Camike.

  “Well if that smile isn’t the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, then it’s not sunny outside,” Ry says.

  Jarosh only grins wider.

  “How did you find us?” Dayne asks.

  Jarosh explains how they had been searching for us when they found Vlaz. The hyenair led them to the river, and then Camike in her infinite brilliance and slightly emasculating strength swam them into the Lair.

  Ekil and Brogut clasp arms with Camike, greeting her in the Halve language. She repeats Jarosh’s story for their sake. Ekil doesn’t react, but Brogut’s already-fearsome face goes stormy with anger.

  “Humans bad,” he says, before retiring to his bedroll to sulk.

  “Meanwhile,” Jarosh looks me up and down, his smile dissolving. “You’re looking all hollowed out.” He glares around the room. “What’s your father done to you?”

  I shake my head, too grateful to see my friend to worry about anything else just yet.

  “If I find out he’s pulled some more of his—”

  He breaks off as Camike makes a cooing noise and strokes his stubbled chin. Jarosh relaxes under her touch, seeming to have forgotten whatever threat he was about to make.

  “Hey,” Jarosh’s expression turns serious. “We heard about Jadem.” He swallows. “Is it true?”

  The silent chamber is the only answer he needs. Jarosh nods slowly. “She was a good leader.” His eyes meet mine. “A good person.”

  Tears burn the back of my throat.

  The ground underfoot trembles and then we hear a whimper of excitement as Vlaz comes bounding up to the chamber. He stops short when he realizes he won’t be able to fit his entire body through the door.

  “Hey buddy,” Dayne reaches overhead to give his flopped ear a rub. “How’s your neck feeling?”

  Vlaz drools contentedly as Dayne continues to pet him.

  I go to greet the hyenair, but as soon as I stretch out my hand to scratch him like I always do, Vlaz’s body goes rigid. His black lips quiver, and a quiet growl escapes his parted fangs. I step back, uncertain.

  “Vlaz…it’s me,” I tell him.

  At the sound of my voice, Vlaz’s ears prick in my direction and he wiggles his body in greeting. I take another step toward him, and this time, he lowers his head so I can better reach his ear.

  “Well, that was weird,” Ry comments.

  Dayne doesn’t say anything, but his brow is wrinkled.

  “It’s pretty dark in here,” I say. “Maybe he thought I was someone else.”

  “Jarosh, Camike,” Dayne gives her a polite nod, “while we appreciate the visit, I’m assuming you come with news from Wade?”

  Wade. I can’t even look at Ry at the mention of his name.

  “Indeed we do.” Jarosh clears his throat. “Wade says, and I’m summarizing now, mind you, but he says to get your asses back to the fortress…yesterday.”

  When we all just stare at him, Jarosh sighs. “Okay, those weren’t his exact words. But he did have to tell the Banished that the mission was successful and you got Hendrix.” He clears his throat. “So, congratulations on that, I guess.”

  “He what?!” Dayne, Ry, and I say at once.

  “He had to.” Jarosh shrugs. “The Banished leaders practically have one foot out of the fortress, and he’s doing everything he can aside from imprisoning them to keep them from surrendering to the Duskers.”

  “Then we have to get back there,” Ry says. “Now.”

  “Not without some kind of leverage, you’re not,” Jarosh says. “There’d be no point.”

  “We have leverage,” I tell him. “Zeroes.”

  “Zeroes?” Jarosh looks hard at me. “You mean the creatures that almost killed you back in Tanguro? The reason your father tried to squeeze us dry?”

  “You didn’t get squeezed at all,” I point out, irritated now.

  “My mate did!” He shouts, jabbing a finger at my chest.

  “Well if you have any better ideas for saving us all, then please share them,” I shoot back. “Because as far as I can tell, without the Zeroes, we may as well surrender to the Duskers ourselves.” Even saying those words makes me feel sick.

  I force myself to take a breath. “Look, I don’t like it either,” I say. “But the Zeroes are the only thing strong enough to give us a chance against the Duskers.”

  “And you know this how?” Jarosh asks. “Because Daddy Psycho told you?”

  I flush. “I can prove it to you.”

  Jarosh raises an eyebrow. “Well, by all means, convince me.” He folds his arms.

  “It’s a good idea, daughter.”

  “Why do you always have to sneak up on us?” Ry demands, her hand clutching at her chest. “Is it part of the grand plan? Give all of Hemera’s friends heart attacks and remove them from the equation?”

  My father ignores her. “Let your friend see the Zeroes for himself,” he tells me. “It will give you a chance to see their strength in action.” A gleam of something…victory, perhaps, flashes across his eyes. It vanishes just as quickly.

  My father leads the way as we wind our way up the path to what I have started to think of as the Zeroes’ lair.

 
The closer we get, the more I feel the pressure of something inside me ease. It’s almost like there’s a taut cord linking me to the Zeroes, and with each step that brings me nearer to them, the cord slackens. I hadn’t even realized the pressure was there until it loosens and I can breathe easily again.

  We all stand outside the door as my friends get their first look at the army. My army.

  “What have you done to them?” I ask, stepping inside the room.

  The Zeroes are no longer clad in the shredded remains of the Duskers’ cloaks. They’re wearing armor—small chains, interwoven, that cover everything below their necks and above their knees. Iron-plated boots are fitted to their large feet. It’s much more intricate than the simple metal skirts my father’s original ten Zeroes wear.

  “I thought these clothes more befitting of creatures of their strength and stamina,” my father replies. “The clothing makes a statement, as do the creatures who wear them.”

  These outfits are ones only the Zeroes could wear. Even without touching it, I know the metal would be far too heavy for any human to fight in. The outfit would also fry any human the second he stepped onto the Outside.

  Each Zero grips its own scythe.

  “Where did you get all these…uniforms from?” I manage to ask.

  “My Zeroes made them months ago,” my father replies.

  Months ago?

  “How did you know I’d agree to change them?” I ask. “You could have been stuck with all these clothes and no bodies to fill them.”

  “Because I know what I would choose if I was in your place.” My father smiles. “And regardless of whatever you’ve convinced yourself, you and I are not so different.”

  I want to retort, but all of my attention is on the Zeroes.

  The room pulses with their power combined with my own. I don’t know if the others can feel it, but it thrums inside me like a second heartbeat.

  “You know,” my father murmurs in a voice too low for the others to hear, “I believe we are only a few more generations of Zeroes away from creating true Bisecters.”

  “No.” The loudness of my voice startles us both.

  These creatures might have some of me in them, but they are not me.