“Hey, how are you feeling, Caroline?” She looks better than I’ve seen her before, which is a great sign. Alana smiles as soon as she sees me.
“I’m feeling okay thank you, Mr. Tourney.”
“Do you mind if I come in?” Caroline shakes her head at the same time as Alana says, “Of course not, please have a seat.” I walk in with the bag I have behind my back, and I sit down in the chair next to Alana.
“I have a little something for you,” I say to Caroline. She looks at her mom and then to me. “For me?” I nod and open the bag. I pull out Eeyore and Pooh Bear. The look on her face is priceless
“Are they for me, Mr. Tourney?”
“They certainly are. I was passing the toy store when I heard a little voice. I stopped and leaned down to Pooh Bear, he said he and Eeyore needed looking after, and they thought Caroline would be the best person to do that. So here they are.
She laughs at me. “That’s silly. They can’t talk.” I look shocked, then use Eeyore and Pooh Bear to mimic them talking to each other and put on a little show for Caroline, making her laugh. I pass her the teddies, and she squeezes them both to her.
“Oh, thank you so much, Mr. Tourney. I love them. I don’t have Eeyore and he’s my favorite.” She’s smiling so much, and when I look at Alana, she too is smiling, although her eyes are wet. I squeeze her hand to let her know it’s all right. I don’t stay too long. Caroline is worn out and falls asleep. As I get up to leave, Alana comes to the door with me. We stand in the hallway.
“Thank you so much, Theon. That was the sweetest thing to do. Making her smile and even giggle like that had my heart melting. It’s been a while since she’s been like that.”
“It was my pleasure, honestly. Just to bring that little bit of relief to her was all I wanted. Here, I got this for you too.” I pull out the little white cardboard box. She looks at me puzzled, takes the gift out and unwraps the tissue paper.
“Oh, Theon. That’s beautiful, so intricate. How did you know I love turtles?” She’s examining the little turtle trinket box I bought for her. It’s a beautiful box made from different colored gems. I didn’t know, but I love turtles. They are so majestic.
“Lucky guess. Do you like it?” I ask starting to feel silly that I bought her a gift.
“I love it. It’s beautiful. Thank you.” She rises on her tiptoes and kisses my cheek very gently but lingers. I turn into her, and our lips meet. Shit, what am I doing? She’s shocked as am I about it, and we both step back.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, Alana. I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t know what came over me, I, I...” She stops me talking by placing her finger on my lips and shaking her head.
“Don’t, Theon. Please don’t apologize. There’s no need. We both feel it but…” She sighs.
“It’s the wrong time and the wrong place. I really appreciate you and your friendship. Let’s just keep that for the time being. Is that okay?” I nod and pull her into me for a hug.
“Of course, Alana. Thank you.”
“No, thank you, and I love my gift.”
“I love turtles, they are my favorite animal, that’s what made me pick it. They are such unassuming, gentle, graceful and majestic animals. They go about their business not bothering any other animals. I just love them. I have a colorful turtle tattoo on my back. I’ll show you one day.” I look down and smile at her. “Time for me to get back to Evelina.”
“How is she?”
“Just the same,” I lean down and kiss her cheek.
“See you soon,” I say walking off.
“Hey, Theon,” Alana shouts after me. I turn to see what she wants.
“I like the new look.” She says pointing to the beard and the Alice band on my head. She winks at me then turns and walks back into Caroline’s room. I laugh and walk back to Evelina’s room with a big smile on my face.
It’s the eighteenth day of Evelina’s coma. I can’t take much more of this. The only plus side is she’s had two more doses of chemo and now only has two left, which is a relief. I still wish she would wake up.
Caroline has been doing great recovering after her surgery. I wish I could say the same about Evelina.
I haven’t talked to Evelyn the last two days. I’m growing weary of it. I’m beginning to wonder if she is there looking out for our angel. Maybe it’s also because of Alana. Maybe I feel guilty I have feelings for another woman. I’m breaking my promise to Evelyn that she’s my first and last.
When I kissed her that day it was like she was stealing my breath. It was only a peck on the mouth, but I wanted more. So much more. I wanted to take her away at that moment, to take her pain away and just comfort her. I wanted this to all not be happening. I wanted our daughters to be healthy and playing like little girls should be. I wanted Alana so badly in those few seconds. Seconds was all it was, seconds and then the guilt and embarrassment hit me.
I’ve spent a bit more time with Alana. I find I’m seeking her out. I look forward to our talks, even if they get heavy sometimes. Since the kiss, we have tried to meet up at least once a day to catch up.
We talk a lot about our families. She’s met Evander, and I’ve met Bailee and Bryan and her sister, who was wary of me. We all get on. I hope when Evelina wakes, we can all spend time getting to know each other. My biggest worry is Sonia, yet she has been the most supportive of Alana, calling in to see if she needs anything or any errands. She’s said for a long time that I should move on, but I always tell her not to go there. Maybe she can see how much I like Alana.
10 Years Earlier
I FELL ASLEEP after the nurse left me and I don’t know how long I was out, but I was woken up by a deep, gruff voice. I open my eyes to see two police officers standing next to my bed. Oh fuck, what now.
“Sir, can you tell me your full name?” I try to speak, but my throat is so dry. One of them hands me a glass of water, and I take a sip.
“Thank you. My name is Theon John Tourney. Is there a problem?”
“Mr. Tourney, I’m Officer Janson, and this is Officer Dillon, we had a report that you have confessed to killing your wife. Is this true, sir?”
Well, fuck me.
I merely nod.
“Sir, can you tell me your wife’s full name and the circumstances?” I sigh and look up to the ceiling.
“Her name is Evelyn Tourney. She died —” I stop. I don’t even know how long ago it was now. How long have I been here? I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose.
“Are you okay, sir? Can you continue?” I don’t open my eyes.
“What day are we on?”
“It’s Friday today. You were brought into the hospital with a head injury yesterday morning, which was Thursday.”
“Well, in that case, she died on Tuesday.”
“How did she die, Mr. Tourney?”
“Giving birth to my babies.” They both looked at me puzzled.
“But you said you killed her?”
“I did.”
“I don’t understand. Mr. Tourney. If she died in childbirth, then how did you kill her?”
“I got her pregnant. If I hadn’t have gotten her pregnant, she would still be here. The OB-GYN, Dr. Zelda, said it was the pregnancy that killed her. Therefore, it’s my fault. It’s my fault she’s dead, and I have two babies to bring up, which I can’t because I blame them for killing her.” I look at them, both with puzzled looks on their faces.
“Mr. Tourney, we are deeply sorry for your loss, sir, please accept our condolences. But, Mr. Tourney, you didn’t kill your wife, sir. In childbirth, many complications can arise. Unfortunately, on this occasion, it sounds like there wasn’t anything you or anyone could have done. Please don’t blame yourself, sir. We are sorry to have troubled you, Mr. Tourney.”
The one doing the talking pats my arm in sympathy, and they both start to leave the room. I didn’t want sympathy. I killed my wife for fuck’s sake. I needed to get out of here. I didn’t even know which hospital this was. From what
the nurse said, I don’t have my wallet or phone, and she didn’t mention my car keys, so I probably don’t have a car.
“Officer?” I shout just before the door closes behind them. The one who talked turns and comes back in.
“The nurse said my wallet and phone are missing. I also had my car keys on me, so I’m not sure if the nurse has them or if they have been stolen as well. What do I do about this?” He goes to the door and asks the other officer to go and see if they had my car keys.
“I will take a report now, so we can file it, in case anything turns up and for your insurance. Can you tell me what you had in your wallet?”
“I had my credit cards, about $200 in cash, and a photo of my wife.” I look at the window, biting back the tears again as I think of Evelyn.
“It’s okay, take your time, Mr. Tourney.”
“That was it, I think. I don’t suppose I will see any of it again. I need the numbers for JP Morgan and Amex to put a stop on my cards. Do you know where I can get those from please?”
“I will go and get them for you now and ask the nurse to bring a phone in for you to use.” Just then the door opens, and the other officer comes in.
“No keys, sir. Was it just your car keys? What about house keys? Did you have your address in your wallet?”
“Fuck, yes. My driving license was in there with my name and address.”
“We will send someone over there now to check it out. Do you have anyone to contact that we can ask to meet us at the house? You said about your babies, sir? Where are they now?”
“With my wife’s parents. I need to phone them. They have keys to my house. But, I need the police there before they get there?”
“Yes, we will do that now, sir. It’s been over twenty-four hours since you were admitted to hospital. I don’t like the odds here; I have to tell you.”
“Well, it seems everything is going wrong in my life right now so why not this as well. I have a tracker on my car, in case they have taken that. If I give you the registration details, can you put a trace on it to find out where it is, please?”
“Yes, of course. We are really sorry all this has happened to you, on top of losing your wife, Mr. Tourney.” I nod a thank you at them, then they both leave to sort out my shitstorm.
Not long after the officers leave the nurse comes in with a phone for me.
“Thank you, nurse, and I’m sorry about earlier.”
“It’s okay, sir. It was a misunderstanding. Here are the numbers for the credit cards that you asked for. The officers have sent someone over to your house now, to check on it. Is there anything else I can get for you?”
“I don’t know my father in law’s number, do you have a phone directory I could look him up on please. I have all my numbers programmed into my cell phone.” I shrug.
“Tell me his name, and I will look online for you at the desk.” I write the name down on the paper she brought me with the numbers I need. She leaves, and I make the calls to put a stop on my cards. It’s easy enough, and they both say there had been no activity on the cards yet. Luckily. The nurse brings me Arnold’s number while I’m on the phone, so that’s my next call. I think I will withhold the truth about me being passed out and just tell him I got mugged.
“Hello.”
“Hi Arnold, it’s Theon.”
“Oh, thank god. Where have you been? We have been worried sick about you. Why are you not ringing me on your cell? Is everything all right, Theon?”
“No, I’m in the hospital. Don’t panic. I’m all right, but I got mugged and was brought in with a head injury. Shit, I don’t even know which hospital it is. Anyway, I was brought in yesterday morning but had no ID or anything on me, so they couldn’t identify me until I woke up, which was earlier today. My keys were taken as well with my car and house keys on. The police are concerned that whoever mugged me has my license with my address on and they think they may have broken into the house. They’ve sent a car over there now, but I need you to go over if you can please, Arnold. The locks will all need changing if you can arrange that for me. I’m not sure anyone will have broken in with all the security I have on the place, but you never know.”
Arnold calls back a while later. I still have the hospital phone with me thankfully. “Theon is that you, son?”
“Yes Arnold, how is everything at the house?”
“No break-in.” I sigh with relief. Thank god for that.
“I have a locksmith coming over now to change all the locks. I’m going to get the garage and pool house done as well just in case. The police were at the gates when I arrived, and they checked it all out first. I just wanted to let you know so you didn’t worry. Do you need me to get you a new phone? I can bring it to you? Do you know where you are yet or when you will be home?”
“No, I haven’t seen anyone for a while. I will ask as soon as the nurse comes back. Thank you, Arnold. I know you don’t need this added pressure from me.”
“Hey, nonsense. It’s good to get out of the house. Between Sonia and two crying babies, it was driving me a bit batty.” I feel so guilty. They are looking after them because I can’t. I feel like the biggest failure ever. I just can’t do it yet. I’m not ready to face them.
“I’m sorry you are looking after them. I will get there, I promise. Just not yet.”
“I understand, son. I do understand. Ring me when you find anything out. I will grab you a new phone once the locksmith has finished.”
“Yes, thank you, Arnold.” I hang up. My life is just so crap at the moment. I’m just a burden to Sonia and Arnold. I’m no good for the babies. What use am I without Evelyn? I don’t even want to live. I have no purpose here anymore. I fall asleep.
I’m woken up by the door again. It’s the nurse from earlier. “How are you feeling Mr. Tourney?”
“Honestly? Like crap and not because of my head. When can I leave and where am I?”
“The doctor is coming to see you in a while to make sure your head is okay, and it’s up to him to discharge you. I need you to fill out this form for me please, Mr. Tourney for your insurance. You do have medical insurance, don’t you? You’re in Cedars Sinai.”
“Yes, I have medical insurance. I would like to leave today though.”
“Like I said, the doctor will be here to assess you soon. If you can wait until then that would be great.” She walks out, leaving me to fill in my form.
The doctor arrives sometime later. I still don’t have any concept of time being in here, there is no clock on the wall, and I don’t have my phone.
“Mr. Tourney, I’m Dr. Singh, pleased to meet you. I believe you were brought in yesterday with a concussion from a head injury, but you were also inebriated. You were found in a storm drain in downtown, is that right?”
“I have no idea, Doctor.”
“Do you remember being attacked? Do you remember how you got the head injury? Did the attackers do that or did you do it yourself from being inebriated?”
“Doc, you just said yourself I was concussed. I didn’t wake up until today. I don’t remember anything. I couldn’t even tell you where I parked my car or what I did the day before yesterday. All I can tell you is I lost my wife three days ago in childbirth. Everything else since then has been a blur.” I hang my head in shame. I feel ashamed about what I’ve done. But I need to numb the pain.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Mr. Tourney, I know how hard it can be. Do you think talking will help you with your loss? I think if we can get you to see a counselor then it may stop you turning to substance abuse.” Fuck, he has me pegged all right. Seeing a counselor won’t numb the pain like alcohol does. I know it’s wrong, and I have never been a drinker, I will never use drugs, I know that, but I need to forget, and the only way I know is the drink.
“No, I don’t think talking to someone will numb the pain I have in here do you, Doctor?” I say banging my fist over my heart.
“I don’t need any help. I’m fine, thank you. Now if you can just make sure my head
is not going to fall off, then I can get out of here if that’s okay with you?” He sighs because he can’t do much else. He shines his light in my eyes asking me to follow it, then his finger, then look up and down and to the sides, and I do it all. He then asks me a lot of bullshit questions about my full name, date of birth, what year it is, who is the President and so on.
“Do you feel any nausea, Mr. Tourney?”
“Nope.”
“Then I think you are fine to go home. I don’t want you driving for at least 48 hours and stay away from alcohol please with the painkillers you are on. I don’t want you to end up back in here.
“Can I ask did your baby survive?”
“Babies, yes they did. They are with my wife’s parents at the moment.” After a few tests he clears me to leave. I just want to get out of here.
Present
TWENTY-FIVE DAYS and she still hasn’t woken up. Over three weeks of waiting. I feel like I’ve been holding my breath all this time, waiting for her eyes to open, and for her to smile at me. I miss my little poppet smiling at me and acting like she’s twenty and not ten and for her cheek, which I find so adorable. The only good news is that she has now finished her course of chemo. She has not had to go through all the sickness it brings, and that is the only blessing. I need her to wake up now, so we can all go home.
I’m stroking her hair, talking to her, when I sense Alana. I turn to the door and see her crying.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I rush to her, holding each side of her face and lifting it up so she looks at me. I wipe away tears that are rolling down her cheeks.
“Baby, what’s wrong. You’re scaring me here?”
“Sorry, Theon. I’m just having a bad day. Caroline isn’t feeling well, and she’s been sleeping too much. She was doing so well. Dr. Cassidy came, and they have taken her for an MRI scan to see if there is anything going on inside. I’m scared, Theon. Really scared. What if her liver is failing sooner than they thought and she needs a transplant now? What if she can’t wait anymore? What if the cancer has spread and now it’s started to make her sick again? Oh, Theon. I am so scared. I didn’t know where else to go. I’m sorry for troubling you.”
The Best Day of My Life Page 17
