Kai

by CORY CYR

  Ronnie was right. It would be so easy for me to keep gaining. I had to do something now. I couldn’t let my excuses rule my world. I had allowed my divorce, my depression, my hunger, which most of time was due to boredom, dictate my size. Regardless of my company being a sex toy industry, I had accomplished something huge. My board respected me. What I didn’t want was to expand my business and see that contrite look in men’s eyes when they met me.

  “Since there is nothing really to eat, I’m going to bed,” I announced.

  Nadia was seated on the sofa across from Ronnie. “Okay, get a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow begins a new day.”

  I snorted as I padded to my room. “You sound like a fucking Hallmark card. Excuse my French, Nadia.”

  Nadia laughed. “No apology needed. I know how hard this can be. You’ll like Kai. He’s the best and the ultimate trainer. He’ll walk you through everything. He’ll be gentle.”

  Yeah, like I believed that. He probably had a whip and a hardcore personality to go with it. Tomorrow was going to be no food and a ton of sweat. I’d always believed there was a reason diet had the word die in it.

  Oh yeah, it’s not a diet. It’s a lifestyle. Bullshit. Maybe I’d just sleep in and not show up. What would he do about it? It was my money.

  No, I couldn’t do that. I was hungry.

  I pulled back the sheets before I opened the sliding glass door. I might as well get some fresh air. There was no way off this hellish island, unless I could find a way to wrangle the keys from Reese. The little prick had my Fendi bag, too. Boy, if I had that right now, I’d be happy and satisfied.

  I yawned as I slid between the Egyptian cotton sheets. Tomorrow was going to suck.

  Chapter Four

  Tegan

  I woke up the next morning to sunshine and the sound of crashing surf. I sat on the edge of the bed, listening to the melody of nature, not to be undone by the noises bellowing from my growling stomach.

  “Good morning, T. Ready for some breakfast?” Ronnie was extremely gleeful as she strolled into my room.

  Breakfast. Food. I really wasn’t mentally prepared for beet juice and fiber cereal.

  “Did you get lucky? Oh God, tell me you didn’t end up with Nadia.”

  “Wait. What? Nadia is over twenty-one, but no, we didn’t hook up. But I think we both felt a spark.”

  I got up and tousled my hair, yawning. “Did you mention breakfast? Where and when?”

  “It’s sitting on the table on the balcony. I already ate because mine was, um… different.”

  I eyed her suspiciously as I walked out to the living room and onto the main terrace. The setup was elegant. The flowers were a nice touch, and there was a note next to the vase.

  Meet me in the C-4 workout room after you eat. I look forward to meeting you.

  —Kai

  I surveyed the food. Oatmeal, a very small fruit cup, and black coffee. I only sat because I was hungry enough to consume anything. I laughed aloud because along with this feast was a crystal bowl with ten almonds. Not nine or eleven—but ten. I counted. The oatmeal could have used some milk and brown sugar, but the coffee had its own unique flavor, even without creamer. I finished the balanced meal in five minutes, practically inhaling everything. They were planning to starve me skinny.

  “I’m going to the pool, then maybe the beach. Come and find me later,” Ronnie relayed as she shouldered a beach bag.

  “Yeah, if I’m able to crawl that far,” I retorted.

  “You’ll be fine. Maybe a little sore the first few days.” She chuckled. “Sounds as though you’re going to have sex.”

  “Whatever. Just go and have fun while I’m suffering. Some friend you are.”

  I went back to my room and pulled on a pair of capri yoga pants so I could wear sandals. I found a baggy T-shirt, then went to the bathroom. I pulled up my hair into a messy-as-hell bun and applied brows and lipstick. My grandma had always told me brows and lips pulled a gal together.

  Then I reluctantly left the suite in search of room C-4.

  I took a deep breath as I walked into the private exercise room. He didn’t hear me come in because the music was blasting, so I leaned against the door, watching him.

  As he pulled himself up on the bar, his biceps flexed. His back muscles stretched while his strong legs dangled. His body reminded me of one of the statues I’d gawked at in France. He swung once and landed loudly on the floor. Grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his neck, he gulped a bottle of water.

  With the music off, he finally turned. If he was startled by my presence, it didn’t show.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t hear you come in. Just trying to get in some exercises before our session.” He spoke as he used the towel to wipe the sweat from his body.

  Men must hate him, and women must envy him.

  God had made the man an art of perfection. I’m sure the diet and exercise helped, but for me, it was his face. No one had a right to be that attractive. It was unnatural. His hair was wavy with a single pristine curl that hung on his forehead. It was obvious it perturbed him, as he kept pushing it away. He was deeply tan, which looked to be all over. A hard-planed chest led to an eight-pack of dense muscle. He wore shorts that hung low below his accented “V” and no shirt. As he moved closer, I could see his eyes were gray, maybe blue, with flawless dark brows and full-bodied lips. I’d never seen a male specimen more magnificent.

  “I’m Kai, and I assume you’re Tegan,” he said, walking past me and grabbing a folder. “Let’s sit down for a moment so I can explain what I have planned for you. Water, sports drink?”

  I felt tongue-tied. My eyes had yet to focus on anything but this Adonis. He motioned for me to sit on the sofa nearby as he sat on a chair across from me. His close proximity made my nose twitch. I expected stinky sweat. Instead, I smelled musk with what I assumed was soap.

  My initial opinion? I disliked this man. He was attractive as hell, but arrogance rolled off him, and I was sure he deemed me another lost cause. They were all in it for the money anyway.

  He eyed me carefully as if he were checking out every inch of me. The invasive perusal made me nervous, infringing my space.

  I broke the silence. “You’re not expecting me to do chin-ups and swing from that bar?” I asked comically.

  Even his chuckle was perfect. “Um, that would be a no,” he responded, then paused. “Well, maybe. Would you like to be able to conquer that?”

  I snorted. “Not a chance in hell. I’m not here by choice, which I’m sure you’re well aware of. This thrilling adventure was procured by my personal assistant. She seems to think I’m fat.”

  His eyes grew wide at my candor. “According to this paperwork, your BMI is almost twenty-eight. That is overweight.”

  I held up my hand to stop him. “You’re going to tell me how much I weigh, aren’t you?”

  “Look, it’s only a number, and with my help, it will go down. I’m going to get you on the right path. Trust me.”

  I laughed. “My weight is like my age. There’s no going back. Are you planning to make me younger, too?” I said as I crossed my legs.

  He shook his head. “Nope, can’t backtrack your age, but I can make you feel younger, and losing weight will make you appear more youthful.”

  Oh, this guy is good. He’s a total bullshitter. Good thing he’s hot. “Seriously. Just go ahead and tell me. I know you’re dying to.”

  His response sounded defeated. “Look, it doesn’t give me pleasure telling a client what they don’t want to know. But I think it’s good for them to have the knowledge. Besides, it’s truly only a number. It doesn’t matter what your size is currently, because in three months, you will have trimmed it down.”

  “You just want me to know how far I’ve fallen,” I accused.

  “That’s not true, and remember… It’s not how you fall. It’s how you stand back up.”

  I scoffed softly. “Oh, not only a trainer, but a philosopher. How lucky I am to have both.
”

  “Look, I realize this vacation was not by choice, but rather need. You don’t have to do this alone. Let me be your guide—your friend.”

  I laughed. This man had it going on. He knew how he came across, and I was sure women swooned at the spell he put on them. “Friends, really? You want my friendship. I suppose I am too fat to fuck,” I mocked. “Hey, should I put that on a bumper sticker?”

  He stood and walked over to the wall cooler, where he grabbed a cup of water. His posture told me he was irritated. Good. I shouldn’t be the only one in this duo that was pissed.

  He stalked back to where I was sitting.

  “You weigh one hundred seventy-five pounds,” he spit out in defiance.

  I flinched as the words penetrated my brain. Ohmigod, I am fat. I felt my face heat as I confronted my reality.

  He stood over me as he swallowed two white pills with his water. He put the cup on the table, then bent toward me, his arms enclosing each side of my chair. “I was warned you would be a pain in my ass, but it appears you’re working yourself up to my brain. You’re giving me a headache. I wanted to be nice. I mean, you are my teenage fantasy.” He paused, clicking his tongue. “Let me rephrase that—were.”

  In opposition, I stuck out my chin. His face was close enough to feel the warmth of his breath. “Thank God I no longer hold that title. I must be a great disappointment to you.”

  “I knew you wouldn’t hold a candle to your old self, but my mistake was expecting you to handle all this with a modicum of decorum.”

  I physically pushed him back, which was difficult, considering his size. “I’m an ex-porn star. Did you expect nobility?”

  “No, just civility. I was expecting you to take all of this seriously,” he retorted, extending his arms. “Besides, you’re a respected businesswoman, so act like it. You might not like this entire thing or even me. You’re not the first client I’ve had that hates me, but—”

  I interrupted. “Really? Shocking. But you’re so congenial.”

  “Okay, fine. Dislike me all you want. Doesn’t change a thing. If you fight me, then you’ll have wasted three months of your life. And as long as I’m being honest, here it is. Tegan, the number I just told you will continue to climb if you don’t fix your issues with food now. It’s not my job to convince you to lose weight. All I can do is give you the tools and the guidance. I don’t possess the skill to force willpower on you. That has to be your own choice.”

  He paused as I began to speak, then cut off my response. “I know what you’re going to say. Your metabolism has stalled and you don’t eat that much. Whatever. I’ve heard it all before, and, baby, those are excuses. I’m not here just to help you trim down, but to teach you how to keep it off. But you have to meet me halfway. Don’t fight the process. I can get you where you need to be if you let me.

  “I’m not expecting you to go from a size fourteen to a one. How about we strive for forty pounds? I can’t promise what you’ll go through will be painless, only that it will be worth it. However, I can’t do it alone. If you’re combative, this won’t work. Just try my way.”

  “Fine. You win. But no guarantees. You should know I’m an addict.”

  Kai’s eyes shot up.

  “I’m addicted to food, moron, not drugs. Especially cupcakes,” I quipped, rolling my eyes.

  “I think we can cover you there. One of the chefs creates desserts that are sweetened with Stevia and have no fat,” he announced proudly.

  “Sounds tasty,” I replied with a sour smile.

  “You’ll have to give up something. This is a lifestyle change. It’s not supposed to be effortless. You’ll learn from the pain.”

  Oh, sweetie, I’ve given up love, sex, and men. You have no idea. “I’ve given up more than you know. Food has been my buddy.”

  He touched my arm. “Then we’ll find you a new buddy. You won’t mourn the loss. I promise.”

  “As if I haven’t heard that before. All men break promises, and you are nothing that special.”

  Chapter Five

  Kai

  The woman pissed me off. So much I felt like going to church. Of course, I wasn’t sure if I should pray for strength or her demise. Her personal assistant wasn’t completely forthcoming when she said Tegan would be resistant. She was one hundred percent pigheaded. It appeared she was fine and content with it. Bullshit. I’d heard it all before, every conceivable excuse in the world.

  “I’m healthy. My doctor told me so.”

  Conclusion: your doctor is an idiot.

  “But I don’t eat that much.”

  Trust me. You’re eating something. An extra forty or fifty pounds doesn’t magically appear overnight.

  It was exhausting trying to sway them into a healthier lifestyle. Eat less. Exercise more. The answer. The end.

  These women were grateful as hell at the conclusion of their stay. My clients always got their money’s worth.

  Sure, some had wanted to give me more than a farewell hug and sincere gratitude. But the image of what they looked like at arrival always infiltrated my mind, creating a cease and desist that strangled my cock. Besides, clients were off-limits. I had plenty of female employees, as well as those on the mainland, to take care of my sexual needs.

  Goddamn Tegan. She was going to be a royal pain in my ass, which was entirely too close to my dick. At least I didn’t tell her she had a pretty face. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind she would have slapped me or kicked me in the balls. The truth was her face wasn’t pretty. She was beautiful. Not a line on her skin, deep violet eyes, perfectly defined lips, and long, fire-red hair. I’d imagined if those lips could talk, it would be a tale about how many times she’d wrapped them around the cocks of her costars. I quickly adjusted my hard-on, generated by the memory of the way she looked naked.

  Because she agitated me to the point of wanting to shove my length in her mouth just to shut her up, I told her our sessions would start tomorrow. I threw my towel against the wall, chastising myself mentally because I was the professional and she was paying a ton of money for my services. I had to get my head on straight before I saw her again.

  That woman was going to be a challenge. My only consolation was she was a fabrication, a fantasy from my cold, dark Alaskan nights.

  I hit the punching bag with fury because I had viewed her two best films just yesterday.

  Forget it.

  Tawny Temp was dead, now resurrected as a much-heavier version named Tegan Scott.

  Chapter Six

  Tegan

  I literally stomped back to my room and slipped on a long sundress. Screw Kai. The man was an arrogant cocksucker. I didn’t care how gorgeous he was. I’d met men like him before. Hell, I’d married one. Each and every one of them pricks. If I’d married a decent man, I’d never have gotten fat. They did this. Every calorie I ate was my eternal “fuck you” to all of them. Of course, the only one that suffered was me. I mean, really, what kind of man would have married a porn star? I knew the career I had procured for myself meant I would always be undeserving of a nice guy. So I ate and used my weight as a barrier between me and the world.

  I grabbed a hat and sunglasses and went to find Ronnie near the pool that definitely was not for fat people. Everyone was flawless. Buttery tanned skin and butt-floss bikinis all around. This must be the swimming area meant for the ethereal. I tipped my hat down and walked away quickly, hoping Ronnie wouldn’t recognize me. The last thing I wanted was to be forced to socialize with the stick people.

  I was sure some of them had looked like me when they arrived, but they all appeared quite a bit younger. I wasn’t sure what I feared most—being overweight or old. There was nothing I could do about my age, but my weight… Jesus, when Kai told me the number, that shocked me. The men I used to date had weighed that. I was a box of cupcakes away from two hundred.

  I walked down to the beach and found a secluded place to sit.

  I wasn’t happy. I hadn’t been for a long time, maybe eve
r. Putting up an argument about coming here had been yet another excuse. Ronnie was right. There was no way I could face the stock exchange looking like this. The ratio of men there was astounding, and regardless of how callous I thought it was, they expected someone touting a perfect body. I had to be frank. I was the spokesperson and CEO of Flesh Market, and I needed to look the part. Normally, in print ads and other advertising, we only used my face. How would it look, the owner and executive designer of the top sex toy operation being fat? I knew what the masses wanted—Tawny Temp. I had created some sexed-up version of myself that, at my age, there was no way to live up to. This was my fault. I had done this.

  Ringing that bell was a public appearance with tons of media coverage. TMZ would have a fucking field day. And in that instance, I couldn’t hide how far I’d fallen.

  It only matters how you stand up.

  “Mind if I sit?”

  His question broke my concentration, and I tipped my sunglasses, looking up. It was the man from the yacht, the one who had seen me expel my guts. Great.

  “Sure, it’s your beach,” I replied with a shrug.

  He sat next to me. “Actually, I think the government owns this beach. We just kind of rent it since we purchased the hotel and the surrounding acreage.”

  “That’s a lot of money for someone so young. I’m sorry, I forgot your name.”

  “I’m Reese, and you’re Tegan. I know we met before, but you seemed quite anxious. I saw you sitting here by yourself, and normally, our guests socialize with the others. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “Just peachy,” I replied sarcastically.