A Hilarious and Charming Feel-Good Read

by Saranna Dewylde

  His own phone buzzed and he checked it with a sigh.

  It was Bluebonnet with an update.

  “The junket is tomorrow,” he said aloud.

  “You know what they wouldn’t be expecting?” Roderick asked with a cheerful grin. “If after it started, we locked the doors and junk-punched each of them in turn. We could give the kids boxing gloves and just let them go for it.”

  Ransom didn’t want to laugh at that, but the visual was just too good. He cackled.

  “You could buy them all a thousand times over. I would, if I were you.”

  “Yeah, I’m going to destroy an entire business and put people out of work and hurt families because I got my feelings hurt. No.”

  “You did it with the bank.”

  “Not quite. They’re still in business. Just not with me. They have plenty of other capital to work with.”

  Roderick nodded. “See? You are so much more than that. Don’t doubt yourself, Ransom. You’ve come too far. What is the saying? Wolves don’t concern themselves with the opinions of sheep?”

  “I’ve never wanted to be a wolf.”

  Roderick sighed. “Listen, fucker. I’m trying to give you a pep talk and you’re not making it easy. You have a problem for every solution.”

  Ransom laughed again. “Yeah, you’re right. My bad.”

  “I think I know what the fairy godmothers feel like. We should buy them some chocolate or something.” Roderick scrubbed a hand over his face and blinked.

  “Did you get everything set up for Gwen? For her to get her stuff, I mean?”

  “Yeah, the movers will be there tomorrow and they’ll put everything in storage for her. We arranged for the husband to be there, too, so he can’t say she took anything that wasn’t hers. He hasn’t even asked about the kids. I don’t understand it.”

  “Sometimes people aren’t aware of what they have.”

  “Pot and kettle, maybe?” Roderick nodded at him.

  “I know what I have. It’s just sometimes I forget that I deserve it,” Ransom confessed.

  “Honestly? Screw deserve. Lots of people get things they don’t deserve. Whether it be bad or good. You don’t have to earn your right to be happy.”

  He turned to look at Roderick and saw him now in a new light.

  “This is why you’re my assistant and my best friend.”

  “Damn straight.”

  “Damn straight,” Brittany suddenly yelled.

  “No, don’t do that. I just got your mom not to hate me,” Roderick pleaded.

  Brittany giggled and Roderick ran over to chase her around the fountain and when he caught her, he tickled her sides and made her howl with laughter.

  “Save me, Uncle Ransom.”

  “I thought princesses were supposed to save themselves,” Steven supplied helpfully.

  Ransom got up and snatched Steven up, swinging him around under his arm.

  “Princes too.”

  And just maybe, that was something Ransom had forgotten.

  Chapter 12

  The castle spires rose high atop the Enchanted Forest and as the sun set on Ever After, it came to life with a flurry of activity. Torches and candles were lit, the royal orchestra played, and townspeople could be seen making their way up the path from the town below in the fading light.

  Bernadette from the coffee shop, Rosebud from the dress shop, Red, Grammy, Hansel from the lumberyard with his carpenter’s tools, his sister Gretel from the apothecary, and even several frogs who hopped from the fountain and waited patiently for the sun to finish its arc across the horizon.

  As Petunia Blossom watched from the ramparts, she was very glad she’d ushered her charges to the castle before the great migration for the town meeting tonight in the Once Upon a Time Ballroom.

  “When is Fortune going to get here? I don’t know how much longer we can keep this secret from Lucky,” Bluebonnet fretted.

  “She should be here soon. She texted to say she was fighting with them at the rental counter about extra insurance,” Jonquil said, and fluttered her wings.

  “I have a feeling, sisters.” Petty waved her wand and small, floating candles lit the way through the dark forest to guide their friends to the castle.

  “Me too. I thought it was just an angry tummy from eating too many cherries,” Jonquil agreed.

  “We simply need to take extra steps tonight is all,” Bluebonnet said.

  “We’re so close, but time is of the essence. We need a game plan to insulate us for the normies, and to insulate them from us,” Petty said.

  “Wasn’t that something we should’ve had planned out before we invited them here?” Jonquil asked.

  “Well, yes. I got a little ahead of myself.” Petty pushed her spectacles up on her nose and sniffed. “Speaking of, is Ransom and Lucky’s room ready yet?”

  “They’ve just finished,” Bluebonnet said. “Do you think we have enough magic to fix our floor? We could always hire Hansel, but I’d really like to just fix it.”

  “I did it before we left,” Jonquil said.

  “Lovely. What about Mama’s tea set?” Bluebonnet asked. “I was just devastated to see it in so many pieces.”

  “Of course. Everything is back as it should be, but I am feeling a little run-down,” Jonquil confessed.

  “We must get you some tea right away,” Bluebonnet said.

  “Hugs!” Petty cried, and pulled Jonquil close.

  Bluebonnet slipped into the hug and they held one another tight.

  Energy flowed through Petty, but she directed it all to Jonquil freely and with no intent of holding anything in reserve.

  “We’re so happy to see you three getting along,” Lucky said from the doorway.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, darling. We haven’t gotten you settled in your rooms yet,” Petty said.

  “We can make time for godmother hugs,” Ransom said. “We have to stock up and save them for later.”

  Ransom and Lucky both joined in the hug and in moments, Petty’s magic welled up in her like lava. She hadn’t felt this good in centuries. In fact, if she was correct, the lines on her face were smoothing away.

  She’d have to stop that, but she didn’t want to let go of the hug. Not just yet.

  It wasn’t because of the power-up, even though that was a lovely bonus, but it was because it was nice to be in the moment with her family.

  That’s what all of her charges were—family.

  For Petty, that was her sacred cow.

  Then she giggled, because if her sisters knew she’d just called them cows, they’d hex her into next week.

  More love filled her and radiated outward. Petty felt like she was about to go supernova, she was so full of hope and light.

  She’d missed these feelings.

  Petty loved her sisters, obviously, but she’d forgotten what it felt like to be grateful for them. To be present in a moment with love and not just habit.

  This was what they were all missing.

  The hug tightened and Petty knew everyone was feeling something magical.

  The goodness welled up between them until they were surrounded in a sparkling ball of pure, golden light. Then it shot up into the sky and exploded overhead in a starburst of fireworks. Some of the embers fell down around them like hot glitter.

  Lucky broke the hug. “I’m so sorry! I shouldn’t have . . . I thought you were immune to my bad luck. I—”

  “Hush now!” Jonquil demanded before Ransom could speak. “We are. This is amazing.”

  “What it is are explosives gone wrong. What if this had hurt you?”

  “Pish. That’s not it at all. It was a beautiful moment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you, Lucky.”

  “We almost caught fire,” she said.

  “Nothing of the sort, but we have a town meeting tonight to discuss publicity details. Nothing that either of you needs to worry your lovely little heads about. So we’re banishing you to your wing of the castle until morning.” Petty started to us
her them to the door.

  “We can help,” Ransom offered.

  “All we need you two to do is look pretty. Plus, I’m sure you’re exhausted after your fittings, cake tasting, and playing with those two darling troublemakers all afternoon,” Bluebonnet reassured them.

  Petty led them through the castle and to their honeymoon suite. Philip had done wonders with the castle in the short time he’d had to get it ready.

  The double doors leading to the suite were framed by marble pillars covered in real ivy, and the doors were made of light wood and had heavy, black iron-banded accents. When the doors opened, it smelled of jasmine and vanilla.

  A giant king-size bed with royal-blue velvet drapes and more pillows than a Bed Bath & Beyond stood as the centerpiece of the room. White marble columns also bore ivy and jasmine.

  A fireplace crackled with pine logs, and the room was just chilly enough to enjoy the warm fire. Pillows had been spread out on the lush rug, along with a plate of cheeses, chocolate strawberries, and champagne chilling in an ornate silver bucket.

  There was a balcony with a Roman bath hot tub, it seemed as if you could swim to the edge of the world.

  Dress forms stood with Lucky’s wedding dress, and all the other clothes she’d need for the wedding activities. A white box with rosebud ribbon waited on the dresser, and Petty had a feeling whatever was in that box was lacy.

  The room was absolutely stunning.

  “I definitely have to give Phillip props on this,” Petty said.

  “Holy shit,” Lucky replied. “This is a lot. I can’t wait to show Gwen and the kids.”

  “The kids are going to love that hot tub,” Ransom said.

  “The kids? Me, I’m going to love that hot tub,” Bluebonnet said. Then she straightened and smoothed the gingham of her skirt. “Well, later. We have work to do.”

  “Godmothers?” Lucky asked in a sweet tone.

  “Yes, dearling?” Jonquil replied.

  “There’s only one bed.”

  “Quite so,” Petty said, not seeing the problem.

  “We’re not actually getting married. You remember that, right?” Lucky said.

  “You should’ve thought about that before you ‘not actually-ed’ right through our ceiling. You’re grown-ups. Figure it out. This was the best Phillip could do before next week. The other finished rooms are going to be filled with press. They need to believe this,” Petty said.

  “We’ll be in the Once Upon a Time Ballroom if you need us. That’s in the opposite wing,” Bluebonnet advised.

  Lucky looked back and forth between the godmothers and Ransom shrugged.

  “Come along, sisters. We have work to do.” Jonquil led them from the room.

  As they made their way down to the ballroom, Petty reminded herself to seal the ballroom in case Lucky did need something from them, their secret wouldn’t be revealed until she was ready.

  “Pets, here’s your notebook,” Jonquil said, handing her the brightly colored pink organizer covered with washi tape and stickers.

  Ah yes, Pets would be quite lost without her magic journal to keep track of all her “projects.” She opened to Juniper, her granddaughter’s page, and saw that things were still progressing well and she was right on the path she was supposed to be on.

  “Petunia,” Phillip said as he joined them on the stairs. “Everyone is ready in the ballroom.”

  “Fantastic news.” She turned to look at him, but what she saw gave her pause. “Oh dear, you look awful. A little—”

  “By all that’s holy, Petunia, if you say green around the gills, I’ll end you,” Phillip grumbled.

  Jonquil snickered and Bluebonnet did her best, but she cackled.

  “Green is just your color,” Bluebonnet snorted.

  “Thanks a lot, witches.”

  Petunia narrowed her eyes. “What did you call me?”

  He cleared his throat but stood his ground. “Listen, I’ve more than paid for my crime. I know what I did was wrong, and not just because you turned me into a frog.”

  Petunia decided to give him a pass. He was right. Maybe she should add him to her client list. Not that he’d ever agree to such a thing, but what Prince Phillip Charming didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. At least, in this instance.

  “I know you have, darling. And honestly, if I could undo it, I would have hundreds of years ago. It’s not my fault you can’t find True Love’s Kiss.”

  He sighed. “I know, but I’m still very frustrated, and completely disgusted by your sweet little old lady act. It’s weird, Petunia.”

  “I am a sweet little old lady, Phillip. I was seducing men in apple orchards before you were born.”

  “Petty!” Jonquil gasped.

  “Well, we were.” Bluebonnet clasped her hands together primly.

  “Ah, the days of nymph-hood.” Petty wondered briefly if she’d ever fall in love again. She couldn’t imagine any man being the right one to fit into their little family unit, but as fairy godmothers their lives were long.

  Much too long to be spent without loving another person in that all-consuming passion kind of way.

  Phillip snapped his fingers. “Hey, back to the problem at hand, ladies.”

  “Yes, your majesty?” Petty asked.

  He narrowed his eyes. “Don’t use the title. It means less than nothing these days. I’m prince of the shit pond, and that’s about it. Anyway—”

  “It’s a very nice fountain,” Bluebonnet interrupted.

  “Anyway,” Phillip said again. “Everyone is here. Shall we get started?”

  “That’s just where we were headed,” Petty assured him.

  They made their way into the Once Upon a Time Ballroom and once Petty was inside, she nodded to her sisters and they performed the magic that would seal them off from prying eyes and ears.

  Petty stood behind the podium and looked at all of her friends and neighbors each in turn. She was heartened to see how the community had come together and been willing to do whatever it took to not only make this wedding happen, but to help one another. They’d all been open to everyone’s ideas to save and rebuild their town.

  She was so proud of them.

  Petty held her wand up like a microphone. “Friends! Thank you all for being here tonight. We’re putting our plan in motion to save Ever After and bring new life and vitality to our sweet, little haven. I know change is hard. It’s hard for all of us. But even though we’re fairy-tale creatures, the same applies to us as it does to all things. Adapt or die.”

  A few people in the crowd laughed at her blunt words, and for some, it was a nervous titter. Others nodded along.

  “Tomorrow, we’re going to be in close proximity to humans that we absolutely cannot trust with our secrets. Later this week, I hope to meet with each of you and discuss developing a security protocol personalized to your gifts and your stories. For now, our wands are sufficiently powered up to do a blanket protection spell. But keep your magic to backrooms in your shops, with your drapes closed,” Petty advised.

  “Members of the press will be arriving first thing in the morning. Make sure our woodland friends know to stay off the roads,” she added. “This is going to be new for us, having so many normies in close proximity.”

  “I was reading the press releases so far, and I’m not happy,” Bernadette said from the back of the room. “They’re already dragging Ransom’s name through the mud. I think you should give them warts.”

  “Or turn them all into frogs,” Phillip added helpfully.

  Rosebud snorted indelicately. In fact, she sounded like a full-grown sow with her face in a pile of slops. “And what good would that do us? How about you make the releases disappear?”

  Grammy growled. “No one messes with our Ransom.”

  “Guys, guys. This is fantastic, but listen. It’s part of his journey. We need to let it be.”

  “I don’t like letting it be,” Grammy said.

  “Yes, dear.” Jonquil spoke into her wand and it
reverberated off the walls, startling them all. “But now look at you.”

  Grammy narrowed her eyes.

  Bluebonnet rushed to play peacemaker. “It’s just . . . it’s part of a lesson he has to learn for the love thing to work out. That’s all.”

  “So what’s next?” Hansel said from the far back. “We’ve got this wedding, but now what?”

  “News of the wedding has already given us several bookings. We’ve got four more right after this one!” Jonquil said. “It’s working!”

  “We’ve made up these flyers,” Petty said, and released what looked to be a flock of white birds. Except they were folded slips of paper that flapped on enchanted wings to each person. “We’re Fairy Godmothers, Inc. wedding planners. So we’ll funnel all the happy couples through our business and we’ll coordinate each wedding. We’ll use our magic to keep the process smooth, and they’ll go to each one of you in turn. We are looking to hire some outside help, but it’s time for some new blood in Ever After.”

  “Like Gwen?” Red asked.

  “Like Gwen. We’ll introduce them to magic when the time is right,” Bluebonnet said.

  The double doors to the ballroom were suddenly flung open and there stood Fortune Fujiki, every inch a globetrotting dream.

  She was a tiny woman, but her presence made her seem six feet tall. Of course, part of that could’ve been the ridiculously high heels that she made look effortless. She was wrapped in a faux-fox fur jacket and had on Gucci sunglasses that were practically too big for her face, but somehow, she made them work.

  “I can see you started without me,” Fortune said.

  “If one wasn’t late, one wouldn’t be left out,” Jonquil informed her.

  Fortune waved it off and sauntered into the room as if she hadn’t just interrupted a town meeting. “Where’s Lucky?”

  “She’s resting. We’re trying to get tomorrow sorted.”

  “Oh. That.” Fortune looked around and found herself some refreshments. “Do carry on.”

  “As I was saying . . .” Petty trailed off. “What was I saying?”

  “I do believe we were going check in on our magic wells,” Jonquil prompted.

  “Oh yes. Quite.” Petty adjusted her glasses. “So far, I’ve noticed that our wands are powered up and we’re able to do much more magic than we have in some time.”