Boy in Luv

by Jay Crownover

  He looked at me with a small smile. “You know we’re not exclusive. You can go on dates. Going out with him once doesn’t mean you have to break up with me, if that’s where this is headed.”

  Now I was smiling. “Can it really be called a breakup when we’re not together?”

  “Good point.” He sighed and shook his head. “Do what you have to, but I think it’s a bad idea. That guy busted you up pretty good the last time you trusted him.”

  “I know.” I did. But my heart had proven to be pretty stupid when it came to Iker. “But it’s not just Iker, Sam. I’m moving to Texas for my new job at the end of the month. You’re actually the first person I’m telling outside of my family.” I’d been so caught up in the whirlwind of emotions that always seemed to take over my life when Iker was part of it, to fill my family in on my major life changes.

  His shoulders dipped in defeat. “Guess this really is a goodbye then.”

  “It is.” There would be so many goodbyes in my future. What the hell was I thinking, restarting something with Iker when I couldn’t finish it?

  “Man, I’m sorry to hear that. Not that I’m not happy for you.” He ran his hand over his beard. “You sure there’s nothing I can say to change your mind? About the guy, not the job.”

  “The guy is…” I looked away, trying to come up with a not-so-dramatic way to describe Iker. Air? Electricity? A roller coaster with all the climbs, dips, and turns that made me feel alive? A total and complete risk?

  “So, it’s like that?” he said softly.

  I looked back at him, only to see sadness etched in the lines of his mouth, but there was acceptance there too.

  “Yeah, I guess it is.”

  “He’s going to hurt you,” he warned as I stood up. “You know it.”

  “Maybe,” I admitted. “You’re a fantastic guy, Sam. Really. And I know you’ll find an equally fantastic woman.”

  He stood, shaking his head as he looked down at me. “You always were the long shot I couldn’t help but take. I was never good enough for you, anyway.”

  I hugged him tight. “The opposite is true.” He’d been nothing but good to the girl with a missing heart, because I’d never gotten it back from the thief who’d stolen it. “I was never good enough for you. Believe me.”

  “Well, if they can’t come down on the price, then you tell them we’re going to have to walk away. I have no problem structuring a buyout that protects their employees, but I’m sure as hell not going to line the pockets of those pension-stealing assholes in the front office.”

  I pushed through the mahogany door of my dad’s home office and stood quietly, so I didn’t disturb his phone call as he paced in front of his mahogany desk that matched the walls of mahogany bookshelves.

  His smile was instant when he saw me, and he motioned me in. Out of habit, I kicked off my ballet shoes and sank into one of the brocade loveseats that made up the conversation set, curling my feet under my skirt.

  “My line is drawn, Charles. Period. Handle it. My daughter needs me.” He hung up without a farewell and tossed his phone onto the desk, then pressed a button.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “Barbara, could you please make up two cups of hot chocolate and bring them to my office? Extra marshmallows.”

  “Absolutely, sir.”

  I rolled my eyes as he took the loveseat across from mine. “You know it’s May, right, Dad? Hot chocolate is more of a snowy day thing.”

  “Is it? I thought it was a Langley-has-something-on-her-mind thing.” He shrugged out of his suit coat and draped it over the back of the couch.

  “Okay, fine, you’re right.”

  “Yes, I know.” He settled in and leaned his elbow on the armrest. “Spill it.”

  So, I did. I told him about the effects of Iker showing up at graduation, and moved on to now being conflicted about the job offer and starting over in a completely different state. My father’s shock was palpable. And so was his quiet amusement when I launched into a tirade about the crazy-expensive gifts, my trip to Iker’s apartment, and the outright disaster that had been our date. I left out the kiss, because, well, no dad wanted to hear about his daughter’s sex life, or lack thereof. I finished with everything that had gone down with Sam an hour ago.

  As I finished up, Barbara knocked on the door, and Dad rose to help her open the door.

  “You don’t have to do that,” she chided in the stern way a housekeeper with a decade under her belt had.

  “I wanted to,” Dad said, like always.

  “Miss Langley! I didn’t realize it was you! I should have, since it’s not like this guy asks for hot chocolate in May.” She handed me a steaming cup of hot, chocolatey goodness, topped with a mountain of marshmallows.

  “Thank you, Barbara. I just popped in to talk to Dad for a second.” I couldn’t help but smile at the way she ordered my father to sit before handing him his own cup.

  “Corbin, I need you—” Virginia waltzed through the door in this season’s latest Chanel linen. “Oh, Langley, dear. I didn’t know you were home.” She forced a smile, which was almost polite for her.

  “Just stopped in to see Dad for a minute,” I repeated.

  “Oh, no problem. This can wait. You two have—”

  “Mom!” Camille’s voice shattered the peace. “It’s not right! The whole thing is blush and I asked for nude!”

  “Virginia,” Dad warned.

  She sighed. “I’ll handle her. Pregnancy hormones and all. Langley.” She pretty much swept out of the office. As interactions went, this was mellow…almost cordial.

  I had a sneaking suspicion Dad had finally intervened on my behalf with his wife. The claws were now mostly sheathed and the snide remarks uttered under her breath instead of barked in my face.

  “Cami and Richard are supposed to be getting their own house in two months,” Dad said slowly, like it was a mantra.

  “Two months too long,” Barbara muttered as she left.

  Dad gave me a long, probing look and returned the conversation to my suddenly unpredictable and unsteady. “Have you told me everything?”

  I took a sip of my chocolate and nodded.

  “And do you need an ear or advice?” he asked, then sipped on his own.

  “Advice.” I loved that about him. His willingness to provide either at my discretion.

  “Well, first, I’m incredibly proud of you for landing that job. Overland is a pain in my ass, but that’s a top-notch firm he runs. As much as I would have killed to have you at Vaughn, I respect your need to make it on your own. Doesn’t mean I’ll give up hope that you’ll eventually return to take over the family empire, of course.” He saluted me with his mug.

  “Yeah, yeah. I love you, and Vaughn, but I’m not spending my early years being known as the boss’s daughter. No, thank you.”

  “I’ll miss you,” he said quietly, his expression falling. “I figured you’d go away to school, and when you chose Colorado College, I was overjoyed. Not that I didn’t know this was coming, but still...I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you too,” I admitted.

  “But enough about my feelings. Let’s talk about yours. What are you going to do about Iker?”

  “I have no clue.” I sipped my chocolate down, wishing the answer would appear in the bottom of the cup. “That date wasn’t him. Wasn’t us. Any of the guys I’ve dated would have done the same thing, and I know he can’t afford it either. I just wanted to go out with him. It’s like he’s trying to shove himself into the mold of what he thinks I want.”

  “That’s exactly what he’s doing.” Dad set his mug on the table between us and leaned on his knees. “Look, I have mixed feelings about that young man. That’s no secret. I hate what he did to you, but I love the effect he had on you. For the first time in your life, there was a color in your face that wasn’t cosmetic. You looked...alive. You started to raise your voice, to really advocate for yourself, and I can’t ignore that Iker was the root of you findi
ng your backbone. Hell, I’m thankful for it. So, if you’re asking me if I think you should give him a shot, then…” He sighed and glanced over my shoulder, where I knew he kept a framed picture of my mother. It was the only one Virginia hadn’t banned.

  “Then I think you should follow your heart, because the people who can really change us for the better are few and far between.”

  “He hates our world. He hates the fake people and the entitlement, and the obscene waste of money. He hates everything about how we live.” I took in what had to be almost a million dollars in first edition books behind a glass case. “But, he’s trying to pretend he doesn’t so we have some common ground.” I was changing him for the worse.

  “Yeah, well, I do too.” Dad shrugged. “Okay, I love the money. I like nice things and I love giving you opportunities other kids don’t get. But the rest of it? That’s just the society, sweetheart, not the world. He knows you’re nothing like Camille, or any of the others in that circle.”

  He looked at me with such love, such openness, and it turned the guilt over in my stomach like nothing else could. “You don’t know everything about him. About us.”

  “Oh, you mean that you paid him ten thousand dollars to be your date to Cammy’s wedding?” His eyebrows twitched.

  I fumbled, nearly losing my chocolate all over the brocade sofa we were sitting on, then put it next to his on the table. “You knew?”

  “I assumed. Your accountant called and told me you’d pulled ten thousand dollars from your trust fund the week before, and then Iker showed up, this guy you’d never once mentioned, but all of a sudden had a relationship with. I’m not a genius, sweetheart, but I can do math, and one plus one equals two.” There was zero judgment or condemnation in his eyes.

  “You knew. My accountant what?” I sputtered.

  “I have financial oversight on your trust fund until you’re twenty-five. Your mom didn’t want you to blow it all in Vegas or something.” He shrugged.

  “You knew and didn’t say anything that whole week?”

  “Watching you two was a hell of a lot more entertaining than anything to do with the wedding, especially when you guys developed feelings for each other. That was pretty obvious too.”

  “I’m…speechless.”

  He grinned. “Nice to know I can still pull one over on you. Look, if you want to give it a go with him, then just make sure he understands two things. The first is that you want him, and not who he thinks you should want. And second, I’ll fucking kill him if he hurts you again.”

  I pressed my lips in a straight line to keep from laughing. “And when I move?”

  He looked over at my mom again. “If he’s fun, then you have fun. There’s no harm in that. If he’s the one, then you tackle it like you do everything else—head-on and honest.”

  As I got ready to leave, he hugged me tight. “You know, I saw that you paid the college tuition of two students with your fund too.”

  I tensed, waiting for the lecture.

  “That’s something your mother would have done. I’m proud of your heart, Langley, and I know your mom is too.”

  I couldn’t help but wonder if that same heart was about to get me into a heap of heartbreak again.

  “I didn’t realize you could check out dogs like library books.” Iker laughed, throwing the tennis ball again. Einstein chased it across the open space of the state park, his fluffy fur bouncing with each bound.

  “It’s a perk of volunteering there.” I held my hand over my eyes to watch Einstein race back to us with a slobbery yellow ball in his mouth. “And I kind of have it bad for this guy. You didn’t have to come, you know. Our date doesn’t technically start for another two hours.” Not that I was arguing against more Iker time, but this wasn’t the date I’d planned.

  “I told you I was up for anything, and besides, I have short work days since we just got back.”

  “I’m glad you came.” Maybe it was because there was no pressure of being on a planned date, but this felt easy. More like what we used to be like.

  “Me too. You know, you could always adopt him,” he suggested as he wrestled the ball from Einstein’s mouth. “Hey, you have to give it back if you want me to throw it again.”

  Einstein let it go.

  “No pets are allowed in my building.” Of course, I’d asked. And I had no clue what awaited me in Texas. I’d already started searching for apartments and townhouses, but it was hard to decide without actually seeing anything, and I was having a little bit of sticker shock. Austin was way more expensive than Colorado Springs, especially if I wanted to live downtown.

  Iker threw the ball again, and I watched the play of muscles in his arm with far more interest than I should have. “That’s a tough rule. I hate that I’m not dependable enough for a dog. I’m away for weeks at a time for training, and when deployment hits, what would I do? I’d never be the asshole dropping him at the pound, and I don’t exactly know a lot of people who aren’t on the same fucked-up schedule I am.”

  “That sounds lonely.”

  “It can be. But it’s just as lonely for the ones we leave behind.” He looked at me meaningfully.

  I ripped my gaze away as Einstein flew back at us. “Okay, one more, and then you’re due back at the jail,” I warned him, crouching to get the ball. “You ready?” I stood and threw the ball, then laughed as Einstein flopped his way toward it.

  “I like you like this,” Iker said softly.

  “Like what?” I made the mistake of looking up at him and was instantly sucked into his eyes, the curve of his lower lip, and his damned dimple that peeked out as he grinned.

  “No expectations or rules to follow.” His finger trailed over the bare skin of my shoulder where it met my tank top strap. “You’re hot as hell in dresses and heels, trust me, but there’s something about seeing you unpolished that does it for me.”

  Everything about him did it for me. Pretty sure my temperature spiked the minute he’d pulled up in his truck.

  “You only had one normal date with me last summer. Everything else was wedding-oriented. Did you ever stop to think that maybe I’m closer to average than what you saw? You only got a glimpse of my life, Iker. Just a little slice, not the whole cake.”

  Einstein raced back to us, and I stole the ball away.

  “There’s nothing about you that’s average,” Iker said as we walked back to his truck. “But I’m starting to see the bigger picture, and I like everything I see. Now, what are we up to next?”

  “Well, we’re dropping Einstein at doggy jail, then I need to run home and change really quick, if that’s okay.” I scrunched my nose. “I didn’t think about that when we started early.”

  “Do I need to change?” He motioned to his simple t-shirt and jeans.

  “No, you look perfect for what I have in mind.” I let my eyes sweep down his frame and almost groaned at the wave of pure want that washed over me. It didn’t help matters that I knew he looked even better under those clothes. That I knew the taste of his skin and the many wicked ways he used his mouth and tongue on my skin too.

  “And what might that be?” His eyes flared with hunger.

  “Kicking your ass.”

  “You weren’t kidding.” Iker shook his head as I chalked up my pool cue. The jukebox blared eighties’ hair metal and I shrugged with a grin. I’d just run the table on him while he gawked, and damn, did it feel good.

  “Hey, I told you not to hold back. Losers rack.” I nodded toward the wooden rack that hung on the dingy wall.

  “That’s the last time I take it easy on you,” he answered with a grin. “Where the hell did you learn to play pool?”

  “At home.” I slipped quarters into the slots and pushed the lever in, releasing the balls in a rush. I took them out one by one, rolling them to Iker, who racked them for our next game of eight-ball. “Yeah, yeah, I know, little rich girl with a pool table. But it was a fun way for me and Dad to spend time together, and I learned a ton about busines
s when his clients came over to play.”

  “Business at the pool tables, huh? I did a little of that myself. Of course, it had more to do with betting, and less to do with hedge funds.” He shrugged.

  “Look who’s been reading up on financials.” My eyebrows rose, and he laughed as I sent the last ball his way.

  “Figured if it had you interested, then it had to be something worth a Google search or two.” He looked around the pool hall, which was only half full since it was a weeknight. “How did you find this place?”

  “Do you mean, how on Earth did I step outside my Broadmoor bubble to discover the miracle of pool halls? Or this place, in particular?” I backed up into the barstools and took my beer off the small table.

  “Both,” he answered, shoving his fingers into the back of the rack to tighten the formation before removing the wooden frame.

  “Last year, one of my girlfriends tracked her boyfriend down here after getting the hey-he’s-too-drunk-to-drive phone call from his buddy. I went with her, and when he wouldn’t leave, I made him agree that if I beat him in a game, he’d come with us.”

  “And I’m guessing he left quietly?”

  “I almost lost that game,” I answered truthfully, lining up the cue ball to break. “I didn’t realize that the table I’d been playing on was way bigger than these babies. Threw me off. But yeah, he left. He was pretty pissed about getting beat by a girl too.”

  I leaned down, putting myself eye level with the ball, and stroked the cue once to line up my shot. “I told him not to worry since I play like a boy.” I pulled back and shot, breaking the balls apart. They flew to the ends of the table, two falling in. “Stripes,” I called.

  “You play like a boy?” Iker questioned, watching me move around the table. “Because you sure as hell look all woman to me.”

  I hadn’t missed the way his eyes darkened when I walked out of my room wearing a pair of skin-tight jeans and blue halter top. The same way they were locked on my ass right now. I chose the ball right across from where he stood. “Twelve in the side.”