Boy in Luv

by Jay Crownover

  He cocked his head to the side, but didn’t question my choice.

  “You see, the girls in the sorority played like this,” I leaned over moderately, keeping my head far above the table and arching my back to put my breasts on display.

  “Uh. Huh.” His eyes went straight to my assets and he shifted his weight.

  “But one, I’d been taught by my dad, and two”—I flattened my back and took my position—“I wasn’t out here to attract guys since I wasn’t over you.” My eyes locked with his for a second, and then I sank the shot. “Guys weren’t on my agenda.”

  “The whole time I was gone, you didn’t…” Iker let the question hang.

  “Did you?” I countered, choosing another position. “Fourteen, corner pocket. And don’t tell me that you didn’t have the opportunity. I’m well aware that there were plenty of women with you on that deployment.” I knew how to do a Google search as well.

  The shot was tricky with the ball kissed up against the two. I leaned down and lined her up.

  “I didn’t,” Iker answered, coming up behind me. “And you’re right, there were women, and yeah, it’s not exactly allowed, but things like that happen over there.”

  Chills shot down my spine as he ran a fingertip from the tie at the base of my neck to where my shirt began just above the back clasp of my bra. “Oh? Why not?”

  I slid the cue through my hand, practicing the shot.

  “None of them were blonde enough,” he whispered as his lips grazed the top of my ear. “Their eyes weren’t blue enough, their smiles were never bright enough. None of them had legs that invaded my dreams, or skin so damn touchable that I couldn’t think.”

  My heart pounded against my ribs, and my breath hitched, but I took the shot.

  And missed.

  “I wasn’t interested in any of them,” he continued as I slowly stood. “Because I only wanted you.”

  I turned, our bodies meeting with maddening friction as I brought my eyes up to meet his. God, that smolder was going to be the death of me. He wasn’t just sexy, he was sex incarnate, advertised in the build of his body, the tattoos that may as well have been warning signs, and the promise in his eyes.

  “That last night with you…” He splayed one hand on my lower back and pressed us even closer. “It ruined me. You’re like a drug. The first hit pulled me in and left me with the kind of craving that keeps an addict up at night.”

  I swallowed as the tips of my breasts hardened against his chest. “You can’t say things like that. Not when we said we’re taking this slow.”

  The corner of his mouth lifted. “I didn’t say everything I wanted to the last time. I’m not making the same mistake twice. And if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then that’s just too damn bad.”

  I shifted my hips against his dick and he sucked in a breath. “I’m not the one who feels uncomfortable.” He really hadn’t touched another girl in the time we’d been apart? It was hard to imagine anyone with Iker’s sex drive not, well…driving. “I kissed Sam once, but you already knew that.” He tensed, and I cupped his neck with my empty hand. “But that was it. The last man to touch me—really touch me—was you.”

  Something hot and possessive flashed in his eyes.

  “And I told Sam yesterday that I wasn’t going to see him anymore.” I whispered the confession.

  “You did?”

  “Yep.” Shit, there was that dimple again. I swore he knew how much I loved that damn thing and used it against me on purpose. “Now move. It’s your shot.”

  “Yeah, it is,” he agreed, stepping backward. “Let’s make it interesting. What will you give me if I win?”

  I cocked an eyebrow at him. “What do you want?”

  “A kiss,” he answered. “Just a kiss.”

  “What do I get?”

  “Anything you want that I can give.” He lined up his shot, and my eyes were drawn to his ass like a magnet.

  I had no idea what I would ask for. A kiss? More? For him to fabricate more time so I could spend it with him? A promise to visit me when I left? The thought sliced into my heart with surgical precision.

  “We on?” he asked, looking up at me from where he leaned over the table.

  “We’re on,” I promised.

  He ran the fucking table.

  “Are you kidding me?” I asked as he walked me out of the pool hall fifteen minutes later. The parking lot was poorly lit, but I never worried about my safety when I was with Iker. He’d wiped that concern from my mind the first time we’d met.

  “What?” He looked down at me with mock innocence, but took my hand.

  “You let me win the first game?” I accused. “You’re a hustler.”

  “No. I wouldn’t do that. The first one, you ran the table off the first shot, and I didn’t even get to play. The second and third, I was having too much fun watching your ass to care if I sank a shot. You’re fucking formidable. And one hell of a distraction.”

  “And the fourth?” I questioned as we reached his truck.

  “I had a very good reason to win.”

  Instead of opening the door and climbing into the truck, I put my back against the cool metal and looked up at him. “How did you learn to play like that?” I gave him his own question.

  “Unlike you, I did learn on tables that size. And I wasn’t kidding. I did earn some money betting. I just didn’t mention that I put the money on myself.” He put his palms on either side of my head, caging me in. Total hustler, but it was much better than him trying to conform and confine himself to five-star standards.

  “There’s so much I don’t know about you.” I knew his character, his kindness, and even his sharp edges, but not the details, the history, or the little pieces of him that made the whole.

  “We have time,” he promised in that sandpaper-rough voice.

  But we didn’t. Not enough.

  “Do I get to claim my prize?” he asked.

  “Here?” I glanced around the quiet parking lot, not really caring where he kissed me as long as he did.

  “Trust me, it’s safer than your apartment.” His eyebrows lifted.

  “Claim away.” Getting to kiss him, and being kissed by him, made us both winners in my book.

  His mouth met mine in blatant hunger. His kiss was demanding, and I opened for him out of pure instinct, letting a moan loose when our tongues met and tangled.

  There was nothing on Earth that compared to kissing Iker. His hands tangled through the hair at the nape of my neck, pins flying from where I’d pinned up the strays from my ponytail. I rose on my toes, cursing the sensible choice of wearing Vans, and wishing I’d had the height advantage of heels. The need to get closer drove my hands to wind around his neck as his drifted to my hip.

  He angled my head to kiss me deeper and I answered with a whimper, flicking my tongue with his until he groaned and sank into the kiss, pressing me back against the truck. It wasn’t enough. It was never enough with him.

  As if he read my mind, his grip shifted to my ass, and he used both hands to lift me to eye level, never breaking the kiss. My legs wrapped around his warm waist as my back absorbed the heat from the cool metal of the truck.

  “Langley,” he rasped against my lips.

  My thighs locked as my whole core turned molten, liquid. Then I had one hand in his hair and another clutching the muscles of his arm as I gently bit his lower lip, sucking it into my mouth.

  His grip tightened on my ass and he changed the tempo of the kiss, using his tongue to remind me exactly what he could do with the magnificent body I was wrapped around. My nerves hummed and sizzled as I rocked into him, taking everything he offered in the kiss and demanding more.

  I wanted it all.

  He ripped his mouth away from mine. “We have to stop.”

  I chased his lips and took them again, swallowing his low rumble of half-hearted protest. Then my tongue rubbed against his and he sucked it into his mouth. My nails bit little half moons into his skin as he broke
the kiss to press heated ones against my jaw, then my neck.

  “Iker,” I whimpered when he sucked at a sensitive spot.

  His chest heaved as he moved, and I heard the door to the truck open. Yep, this was good. I’d take whatever I could have of him before I lost him forever…again.

  My ass hit the cushion, when I moved to scoot back so he could slide over me, he tore his mouth from mine and used his hands to turn my legs so I was sitting. Then he shut the door and leaned back against it.

  He was on the wrong damn side.

  “Really?” I questioned, trying and failing to get my breathing under control. I was on fire for him, all common sense burnt up in his touch.

  “Really?” he answered as the back of his head hit the window with a thunk. “We said slow, remember?”

  “You said slow,” I muttered, knowing damn well he’d done the right and honorable thing.

  A minute later, he climbed into the driver’s seat and only glanced my way to make sure my seatbelt was on before he drove us out of the parking lot. “God, I almost forgot what it was like to kiss you,” he swore. “You steal every logical thought out of my head besides how fast I can get your clothes off.”

  I didn’t tell him I was on board with that. Honestly, the logical part of me was cheering him on, knowing I’d regret it. But what if I didn’t? What if he really was the one, and we were wasting time by holding back?

  “Sorry,” he muttered, throwing me a wry grin. “I had to stop us before we took it too far to come back from. We have time. We have time.” He muttered that last part to himself like a vow.

  “I get it,” I answered, reassuring him with a nod. But the truth was, we had already gone too far to come back, and we didn’t have time.

  For the first time, I wondered if this was how he’d felt last summer, falling into each other while he knew it couldn’t last.

  Call this what it is. What it was. An eclipse. A comet. Whatever. Something raw and rare that only comes around once in a lifetime that changes you—and then leaves.

  His words came to me so clearly, he might as well have said them from the driver’s seat, rather than written them in the letter sitting in my glove box.

  He’d been wrong, though. This rare thing had come around twice, but this time, it would be me who left.

  For the first time since getting the job offer, I seriously thought about staying.

  Iker

  “I’m going to ask you to come in with me tonight.”

  Langley sounded breathless, and I could barely contain the urge to throw a fist up in victory at her words. However, in order to do that, I’d have to pull my hand out from underneath her shirt, and I wasn’t about to do something that stupid. Not when the windows of my truck were fogged up and both of us had clothing out of place and askew from impatient hands seeking skin. We’d been spending a lot of time together the last week, and each goodnight kiss was steamier, and hotter, than the one before it. One of us always managed to put on the brakes before things got too carried away, but I was sick of jerking off while thinking of her, the same way I had while I was deployed.

  I was by no means a saint, and my patience had been put to the test unlike it ever had before. I kept reminding myself she was worth whatever hoops I needed to jump through, we were worth the work.

  “I want you to come inside with me, but I need to tell you something first.” Langley wrapped her fingers around my wrist and firmly tugged at my hand until I pulled my hand free from her bra. The serious tone of her voice made my spine stiffen, and the worried look in her eyes had all the alarm bells I possessed ringing so loud I couldn’t hear myself think.

  I knew something was up with her.

  Over the last few days, we dated like a normal couple. We went to the movies. I took her to lunch so she could spend some time with my brother, and I was thrilled how well they hit it off. I let her drag me to something called a garden party, and I wheeled and dealed, so I could get my hands on tickets to see Wicked in Denver. The seats were shitty, and I hated the crowded, dark theater, but Langley loved every minute of it, and her smile was worth any amount of discomfort I had to put myself through. We were learning everything about each other, and I could feel our bond getting tighter, but I knew she was keeping something from me.

  There were a handful of times I caught her watching me with tears in her eyes. I lost count of all the times she opened her mouth to say something, only to snap it closed a moment later. When I asked her what was up, she flashed that fake smile I loathed when it made an appearance, and she would quickly change the subject. I didn’t have much room to press her, considering the huge secret I’d kept from her the last time we were together. So, I was stuck waiting for her to decide if she trusted me enough to tell me what she’d obviously been struggling with.

  I pulled away from her and practically threw myself against the driver’s side door of my truck. I dragged a hand down my face and silently ordered my dick to behave. I tapped the knuckles of one hand against my temple and told Langley, “Shoot.”

  She twined her fingers together and I watched as she visibly tried to psych herself up to say whatever it was that was so important.

  “I want you to stay the night with me. I want you to be there when I wake up this time.” Her eyes were practically pleading with me, and I had to work really hard to keep the dread crawling up the back of my throat from showing on my face. “But, if you can’t do either of those things after I tell you what’s going on in my life right now, I understand and I won’t hold any choice you make against you.”

  I frowned. “What the hell, Langley?” I was lost, and fear was starting to work its way under my skin.

  “I’m moving to Austin at the end of the month.” The words burst out in a rush and I could see the admission made her shake from head to toe. “I was offered a job…my dream job. I have to go. I accepted the offer before you came back into my life.” She lifted a hand and put it on the base of her throat. I heard her gulp as she shifted nervously across from me. “Honestly, I would have accepted the job even if you were in my life. It’s everything I ever wanted to do with my degree, and I’ll be helping so many people. I don’t know what it means for us as a couple, if we even are a couple, but I know we can’t be in a situation where one of us knows what’s coming and the other is clueless. Not again.” She made a move like she was going to reach out and touch me, but pulled back at the last second. “I’m not sure where we go from here.”

  Langley sounded absolutely despondent and lost. Fitting, since her words made me feel the same way.

  Laughing, mostly so I didn’t cry, I tossed my head back and let it bang on the window behind me. “Our timing fucking sucks.”

  She exhaled loudly, the sound turning into something close to a sob. “It really does.”

  I groaned and closed my eyes. “Obviously, you know it’s not up to me where and when I go somewhere new. I can request a transfer, but nothing is certain.” I couldn’t drop everything and follow her, even if I wanted to. Which, I wasn’t sure I did. I had spent my entire childhood trying to get out of Texas. Did I really want to go back just because the girl I couldn’t forget was going to be there?

  “I know, and I’d never expect you to uproot your entire life for me. It almost seems like the universe is trying to keep us from being together.” She blew out a breath, sending her hair dancing on her forehead. My gaze lingered on her kiss-swollen lips and the flush in her cheeks. She was too pretty for my peace of mind.

  I swore and let the silence surround us so I could have a quick moment to process how I felt about this new dynamic.

  At the end of the day, was her having to leave for a job she loved and wanted to excel at any different than me having to leave to do mine? The only difference was, I’d be the one waiting. I’d be the one sitting on pins and needles, worrying and wondering while we were apart. Sure, her job didn’t involve war and warriors, but she said she was going to be helping people, and that was the same thing
I did every time I deployed, be it people back home or abroad.

  “We’re destined to have distance between us.” Not just physical distance, but even the enormous distance in our social status and economic backgrounds was huge. “One of us is always running after the other.”

  Langley made a soft sound, and a moment later, her hand landed on my forearm. Her fingers dug in and her voice shook as she told me, “I don’t mind the chase as long as one of us eventually catches the other. If that’s too much to ask, I get it. We’ve only known each other a short time. We’re both still young. It would be so much easier for both of us if we decide to walk away. At least this time, the decision would be mutual.” She blinked rapidly and I knew she was on the brink of bursting into tears. “I won’t feel so powerless, so betrayed, this time.”

  I caught the first tear that fell with my index finger. Her skin was like velvet when I wiped it away. I promised myself I would stop being the reason she cried, but I should have known it wouldn’t be that easy. Seeing her so upset and worried, and feeling the visceral reaction to her tears deep in my gut, I grabbed her hand in mine and pulled her across the seat into a tight hug.

  “Let’s go up to your apartment.” A long-distance relationship was the last thing I wanted…any relationship, really. But, if that was my only option to keep this woman in my arms, then I’d make it work.

  She wasn’t asking for anything more than what I’d eventually have to ask of her.

  Langley sniffed against the hollow of my throat, and I felt her hands curl into the material of my t-shirt. “Are you going to be next to me in the morning?”

  Of course, she had to ask. Who could blame her?

  “I will be. I’ll always be there, from here on out. We are a couple. We will figure out a way to make this work.” I didn’t know how, but I told her I would be the solution to our problems moving forward, and I meant it.

  I blindly groped for the door handle, sending both of us tumbling out. I caught Langley before she hit the ground and pulled her behind me as I walked purposefully toward her apartment. I wasn’t looking back. I wasn’t going to question my decision to stick things out with her. Love hurt. I could feel the sting of it in every cell and pore of my body, but the pain didn’t overshadow the soft, warm glow surrounding my heart.