A Heart to Trust

by A. L. Brooks

  Jenny snorted. “Clever boy.”

  From somewhere in the apartment, Jenny heard a man’s voice. The infamous husband? So he would be in the apartment while Olivia explained herself to Jenny. That was a little weird.

  Olivia must have seen something in Jenny’s expression. “Yes, that’s Broderick. He’s probably talking to his brother, who probably got a call from their mother earlier this morning.” She exhaled loudly. “None of that will make sense to you right now, but trust me, soon it will. Come on. You can hang your coat on any of the hooks. Feel free to keep your boots on if you wish.”

  “Great, thanks.” More confused than she was when Olivia had first called her earlier, Jenny hung the jacket then numbly followed her down the hallway.

  Barnaby kept pace with them until he reached a tatty, red tartan dog bed halfway along the hallway. He stepped into it, turned a couple times, then flopped onto his side and laid his head down with a heavy sigh.

  “And that’s that.” Olivia chuckled. “I doubt he’ll move to say goodbye when you leave.”

  Jenny grinned. “I won’t take offense, Barnaby.”

  They entered a good-sized kitchen kitted out with all sorts of fancy equipment, half of which Jenny couldn’t even identify.

  “So, would you like a drink? Coffee? Tea? Something cold?” Olivia’s hands were half-folded in front of her belly, her fingers twisting and turning as she spoke.

  “Just water will be fine.” Jenny took the seat Olivia offered her at a small table in the corner of the room and waited.

  Olivia was halfway across the room with their water glasses when Broderick, Jenny assumed, entered the room.

  He nodded at Olivia, then faced Jenny. “Hi, I’m Broderick. You must be Jenny.”

  “Hi, nice to meet you.”

  Broderick Sinclair was taller than Olivia but not tall. He was nice-looking but not spectacularly handsome. With his slim body, brown eyes, and thick, light-brown hair that seemed naturally unruly, he was, surprisingly, just an ordinary-looking guy. Jenny had expected Olivia, stunning as she was, to be married to some hunk of a male model.

  “Do you mind if I sit?” he asked.

  “Uh, sure.” Jenny’s confusion was now complete. This would be a three-way conversation?

  Broderick sat to Jenny’s right and gave her what she had to admit was a warm smile.

  This is all so freaking weird.

  After placing their water glasses on the table, Olivia sat opposite Jenny and inhaled deeply. “You’re probably wondering why Broderick is here. We thought, given what you need to know, it would be easier if he was part of the conversation. You might have questions for him too, and he might be able to put your mind at rest about any doubts you might have about this.”

  Olivia and Broderick exchanged a glance Jenny couldn’t decipher, and then Broderick squeezed Olivia’s hand.

  An idea formed in Jenny’s mind, an idea that made her stomach roll and her palms sweat. “Wait. Just a second.” She pushed her chair back. “If you’re about to suggest we have some kind of threesome or something, then save your breath. That’s not my bag. At all.”

  Olivia’s eyes went wide, and her cheeks pinked.

  Broderick burst out laughing and clutched at the table with both hands while he rocked in his seat.

  “That’s…that’s not it,” Olivia managed to squeak.

  “You sure? Because that’s what this sou—”

  Broderick held up a hand. “No. Absolutely not. But oh God, I can see why you might have thought that.” He laughed again.

  Olivia glared at him. “Not helping.”

  “What the fuck is going on?” Jenny’s anger spilled over. She crossed her arms. If there was one thing she didn’t like, it was being laughed at. “Tell me right now, or I’m out of here.”

  Broderick’s laughter shut off like water from a tap, and he straightened in his seat. “Jenny, I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “I’m not laughing at you. I swear. I suppose it’s this situation and how hard both Olivia and I have worked at it, and now it’s coming to an end and…” He shook his head. “Sorry.”

  “Jenny,” Olivia said, before Jenny could muster any kind of response to Broderick’s words. “Let me explain.” She waited until Jenny’s gaze met hers. “Broderick and I are in a fake marriage.”

  Jenny stared at her. Fake marriage? What the—?

  “It’s true. We’ve been friends for years. Since uni. Actually, I always think of Broderick as the brother I never had.” Olivia threw Broderick a warm smile. “We’ve shared a lot together, and he’s always been the person I could go to with anything that troubled me.” She took a sip of her water. “So when he called me one day and told me how unhappy he was with his life, I naturally wanted to help fix it. He had been appointed CEO of his family’s hotel business about a year before but didn’t want the job. Hated the whole sit-behind-a-desk-all-day life. He’s always wanted to race cars, not be Mr. Corporate. But the racing world is rather conservative. With his lack of both experience and anything resembling a relationship—which had led to rumors of him being gay—no one wanted to sponsor him. Being gay is a huge no-no in that macho world.” She shook her head.

  “And I’m not gay, but denying it only seems to make people think you’re covering up.” Broderick shrugged. “We talked a lot over the next few weeks, about how unhappy I was, and also how her life wasn’t exactly firing on all cylinders.”

  Olivia snorted. “That’s quite the understatement. In the span of six months, I lost a relationship and a job. The latter, in particular, really knocked me.”

  “So, we got talking,” Broderick continued. “At first it started as a suggestion for her to come to New York for a break. Spend some time with me, see the sights, all that. Then it evolved. I knew she’d long dreamed of living and working in New York, so we started to wonder if there was a way we could make something happen for both of us out of this situation. I don’t even know which one of us suggested it first, and I’m pretty sure we were drunk when we did.”

  “Yes, tequila may have been involved.” Olivia grimaced. “But suddenly, we had this idea and it wouldn’t let us go. We knew it was risky, and possibly a little bonkers, but it seemed like it would solve all his problems; it would give me the chance to start over and break away from all the negative things back in the UK. I was born here in the US and have dual nationality, so working here wouldn’t be a problem if I could get a job. And living with Broderick would give me a safe base to start from in looking for work.”

  “She’d already met my family a few times over the years, and they knew how close we were, so convincing them we were a couple was easy.” Broderick didn’t smile, and something Jenny couldn’t read haunted his eyes.

  “But you’re not in love with each other? And never were?” Jenny’s brain tried to connect all the dots but only ended up with noodles.

  “No.” He shifted in his seat. “I’m ace and aro. I love Olivia as a friend, but nothing more.”

  Wow. Okay, so things were starting to make a little more sense.

  Olivia met Jenny’s gaze. “And I’m lesbian.”

  Jenny’s heart missed a beat. “Lesbian?”

  Olivia nodded. “One of the biggest drawbacks to the whole plan was me giving up on all relationships while he and I were trying to convince everyone we were a real, happily married hetero couple.” She swallowed. “But I’d just come off that bad breakup up with my last girlfriend, so I thought two to three years being single would be perfect.”

  “But then she met you.” Broderick gave a dramatic flourish of his arms. “And her cunning plan crumbled.”

  “Idiot.” Olivia tutted, but her eyes sparkled as she gazed at him. She looked back at Jenny. “But yes, I met you. And then…” Her voice sounded a little rougher, more emotional. “Well, being on my own, pretending to be straight, and trying to pret
end I wasn’t attracted to you, was very difficult.”

  Jenny’s brain was in danger of exploding. “I…” She shook her head. “Holy fuck.”

  Broderick chuckled and patted her shoulder. “Exactly.” He leaned back in his seat and looked from Jenny to Olivia. “I don’t think you need me here now, do you?”

  “I doubt it. Are you going out? Because you don’t have to leave.”

  “Thanks. I’d rather not. The weather out there is crap.” He smiled. “You okay if I just hang out in my rooms?”

  “Yes.” Olivia turned to Jenny. “Is that okay with you? He and I each have half the apartment, so we can move to my rooms if you want to carry on talking. Or we can stay here. Or you could, um, leave. If you want to, obviously.”

  Jenny didn’t know what she wanted particularly, except she definitely didn’t want to leave. She had a ton of questions and waiting until another time for the answers was a nonstarter. “I’ll stay.” Her voice was a little croaky from the dryness in her mouth, the nerves in her belly. She took a gulp of water. “I have questions.”

  Olivia snorted. “I’m not surprised.”

  Broderick stood, leaned down, and kissed Olivia’s head.

  “Hey, thanks for telling me all that.” Jenny met Broderick’s eyes.

  “You’re welcome.” He gave Jenny a quick wave before leaving the kitchen.

  “He seems like a nice guy.” Jenny twirled her water glass in her hands.

  “He is. That was, well, that was a pretty big deal for him, telling you about himself. He’s only been out to me up until now.”

  “His family don’t know?”

  “No.” Olivia shook her head, a small frown on her face. “His mom, who you’ve met, is a sweetheart but very traditional. He feels she would never understand him, so he’s kept it from her. The downside is she’s kept trying to set him up with the single or divorced daughters of all her friends for years.”

  “Ugh, messy.”

  “Indeed. Like you said, he’s such a nice guy. It’s been relatively easy to do this with him because he’s so likable. We’ve made sure we talked openly about it all the way through too.”

  Jenny exhaled loudly. “This is not what I was expecting from today.”

  “I’m sure,” Olivia murmured. “Look, shall we go sit somewhere more comfortable? Like I said, I have a suite in the apartment. Want some wine? Or a beer? Or are you still too hungover?”

  Jenny chuckled. “I could go for a beer, sure. And yeah, maybe hanging out might be a nice idea.”

  Olivia’s face lit up, and Jenny felt it all the way to her toes.

  Chapter 29

  Olivia’s legs wobbled as she led Jenny to her side of the apartment. Telling someone she liked and trusted about her big secret had been beyond nerve-racking. She knew she shook now for that reason as well as the imminent presence of Jenny in her rooms.

  Barnaby barely gave them a glance as they walked by, but he did wag his tail a few times when Jenny whispered, “Hey there, big guy.”

  While Olivia hadn’t exactly planned for a guest in her rooms this evening, she always kept her own space neat and tidy, so at least she wasn’t embarrassed by piles of dirty laundry or plates on the floor when she showed Jenny into her small living room.

  “Have a seat.” She pointed to the couch. “I’m just going to use the bathroom. Be right back.”

  Jenny nodded and took a spot on the couch. She sat right at one end, clearly feeling the need to keep some space between them.

  Olivia closed the bathroom door with a sigh. She still doesn’t feel completely comfortable around me. It hurt, but she could understand it. She allowed herself a couple minutes extra in the bathroom to simply breathe and try to bring some sense of calm to her overwrought mind and body. Come on, stop being such a chicken and go sit with her. Hear what she has to say. The fact that she hasn’t run screaming from the building is a good sign, surely.

  She tentatively sat on the couch, at the opposite end from Jenny. It left a full seat’s worth of space between them, which seemed ridiculous. “So.” She placed both hands on her knees and tried to stop her entire body from tensing as she faced Jenny. “What would you like to ask?”

  Jenny held up her hands. “I don’t even know where to start.”

  She chuckled, and Olivia couldn’t help chuckling too. Within seconds, the pair of them laughed so hard the couch rocked with motion.

  “This is so bizarre.” Jenny drew in a long breath. “Of all the things you could have told me today, that one would have been way down the list. You have everyone fooled, I guess.”

  Olivia winced. “Yes, but we’re not proud of it, believe me. The biggest cost for him has been lying to his family. His mother is very sweet, and it’s been extraordinarily painful to lead her into thinking this was real. She wants grandkids by the dozen.”

  “Ouch.”

  “Yes.”

  “And what about your family? Your friends?”

  Olivia leaned back against the couch cushions. “My mother knows, along with my best friend. But no one else. The few friends I had made through my theater work in the UK were confused. I was out with everyone, so for me to turn around and tell them I’d fallen in love with this man I’d known for years as only a friend…that took some selling.” She sighed at the memories. “I lost a couple of friends through this. Friends I never imagined would reject me so quickly simply for who I said I’d fallen in love with. And I couldn’t tell them the truth because if the sponsors, or his mom, found out, everything would have been so much worse.”

  Jenny’s expression was unreadable.

  “Do you think I’m a bad person for doing all this?” The question was out before she could stop it, but right now it seemed very important to know the answer.

  Jenny gazed at her for a few moments before answering. “Not bad, no. Maybe a little thoughtless?” She rubbed at the back of her neck. “It sounds like you did know how much this could hurt people, but you still did it anyway. And I get that it was for something he wanted badly and you were trying to help him. But it seems a big step to take, to risk alienating so many people if they ever found out. It seems almost…ruthless. And I’ve seen how fair and nice and supportive you can be, and I guess I can’t reconcile those two sides of you easily. I don’t know which is the real one.”

  Tears pricked at Olivia’s eyes. “I understand. It would be easy for me to say I’m the nice one, but you’re right, I did do this thing where I lied to a lot of people.” She groped for the right words to explain it. “It was like being on a rollercoaster. It started slow and easy, nothing to be afraid of. He came to the UK on business for a month, so we made sure we started being seen out together. I dropped little hints into conversations with people about him, how wonderful he’d always been, and how lovely it was to spend more time with him while he was in the UK.”

  “You told your mom the truth early on, or later?”

  “Quite early. She loved Broderick, so she understood what we were trying to do, even though she didn’t fully approve.”

  “Did you ever think to stop?”

  Olivia sighed. “Once or twice, yes. But then it just built, got stronger, and in doing that, it got easier. It self-perpetuated. The more lies we told, the more we sold them, and the easier it was to navigate the big climbs in the ride. We got married, and a few months later he got a fantastic sponsorship deal; we were so proud of ourselves. We’d done it! We’d fooled them all. There was a kind of exciting rush to it, like swooping down the next big arc on that rollercoaster.”

  “Yeah, I guess I can see that.” Jenny’s expression was blank, as if she didn’t want to give away what she actually thought.

  Olivia’s stomach clenched. “But then more big climbs came at us, ones that we never anticipated. I struggled to find a permanent job. His mom kept talking about grandkids. We started to make the
odd mistake here and there.”

  “Really? Like what?”

  “Oh God, silly things.” Olivia cringed. “We were at a sponsor event the week after he signed the deal and had briefly become separated during the welcome drinks. It was a fantastic venue overlooking the Hudson. I was chatting to the wife of another driver, and without thinking said, ‘Gosh, this place would be wonderful for a wedding. I’ll have to remember that if I ever get married.’”

  Jenny snorted. “Oh shit!”

  “I know!” Olivia’s cheeks burned with the memory. “Her face was priceless—thankfully, it was her expression that clued me in on what I’d said, and I quickly covered it by saying, ‘Oh, I meant if my sister ever gets married.’”

  “You don’t have a sister.”

  “I know! But she didn’t know that, so the moment was saved.” Olivia took a long drink of her beer. “The more we made those mistakes, the more his mother talked about kids, the more it all started to feel like it was teetering out of control, that our rollercoaster might come off the rails at the next big bump.” She exhaled loudly. “And it turned out the next big bump was you.”

  To her intense relief, Jenny smiled. “No one’s ever called me that before.”

  Olivia dared to inch a little closer to her. “I totally get it might be difficult to know if I’m trustworthy. But I suppose all I can do is keep answering your questions, keep working at proving to you that I’m the woman you’ve come to know the last few months. I’d love to ask you out on a date.”

  Jenny’s cheeks pinked, and her expression softened yet further.

  “A real, proper date,” Olivia said. “Where we can get to know each other, find out what we were like as children, what our favorite foods are and all that. I want to walk with you in a park somewhere, holding hands, hearing you tell me the story behind that photo on your desk. I want to know why you have a Pittsburgh Steelers helmet and why you insist on dyeing your hair a different color every week.” She grinned when Jenny chuckled. “And I want to kiss you again because that kiss, in that grubby room behind the stage at the Excelsior, was a kiss I really didn’t want to end.”