by Raathi Chota
“Benny?”
He slowly turned around, and I saw that his face was blue and purple with his right eye slightly open. I bit the inside of my cheek when I saw him with a razor blade. Suddenly he cried, and I went to him so that we faced each other. I looked down to see that he cut twice on his left wrist. As he inhaled, he dropped the blade in the sink as I looked up at him. He bit his lip and shook his head.
“Why me? They’re right…I don’t deserve you,” he whispered. “I hurt you…”
“In the past. You apologized, and you meant it. They fuck up every time, and they say sorry, then they fuck up again.” I took a deep breath then continued. “They hurt someone I care about. They hurt you. To prove shit, he’s always been bad for me,” I said then slowly reached out to hold Benny’s hand. My fingers grazed over his scars, and that seemed to make me tear up. “Levi is a person who always gets his way, and Blake is a person who knows what he wants.” I sniffled then moved his wrist under the faucet. I let the lukewarm water run down his wrist and washed the blood from his hand. “For once, Levi didn’t get his way, neither did Blake get what he wanted,” I whispered then got a bandage from under the sink. As I cleaned up Benny’s mess, I looked up at him. His brown eyes had gone dark, and a gloomy expression filled his face with his bottom lip jutted out. “We did it my way, and I got what I wanted,” I said then slowly stroked his cheek. Once the bandage was on, I put my other hand and cupped his puffed cheeks. I stood on my tippy toes, pecked his nose, then smiled. “You.”
He managed to smile. I stepped back then looked at the razor blade. I noticed Benny’s stare at me as I took it and dumped it in the toilet. When it flushed, it clanked, but I ignored it and wiped the sink.
“Come on,” I said then entwined my fingers with his. “We’ll go downstairs, watch a movie, and just eat because I’m hungry.”
“Yeah.” He chuckled. “Sorry about the date, though. I know you really wanted to go, and you just looked beautiful in that dress.”
“Thank you, and you must have looked fantastic in that suit of yours,” I said.
We decided on hamburgers and French fries as we watched a movie. The topic of what happened earlier didn’t come up, and I was glad. I didn’t want to talk about it, and to see Benny’s smile put my heart at ease. He made good French fries, so I sat on the sofa next to him and stuffed my mouth while he played a video game. It must’ve been an intense game because he couldn’t take his eyes off the screen. He’d tilt his head, open his mouth, and I had to put fries in.
After a while, it got boring, yet it was only eight p.m. I was full with my head on Benny’s lap. As I scrolled through my Instagram feed, I noticed that he paused the game. I looked up at him the same time he looked down.
“I’m bored.” He sighed as I sat up. “Let’s do something.”
“Well, what do you wanna do? Your rib is fractured. It needs to heal,” I stated as he positioned me so that I was sitting across his lap. I rested my arm on the top of the sofa and looked down at him. I felt his cold palm rub my thighs, yet it felt good as I rested my head on his shoulder. As he continued, I wanted to tell him about Parker, yet I didn’t want to spoil the mood and have to go home. I tried to stay the night because he’d be all alone in the big house.
“Have you ever smoked?” he asked, and I raised my head and gave him a funny look.
“Smoked…a…”
“Joint?” he asked, and I was suddenly curious as to why he’d brought up the topic.
“Yeah, err…once,” I said then ran my hand through his hair. “Why? Have you ever smoked?”
“Just a thought. I only smoked a cigarette once at my grandma’s birthday,” he said as I laughed. “It wasn’t my fault, though; my cousins were all in the back of the hall and, well…they just pressured me into smoking it.”
“Wow, I can never imagine Benny Nielson smoking…at his grandma’s birthday.” I laughed.
“Believe it or not.” He chuckled then licked his lips. “Do you have Jaden’s number?”
I looked down at him, and the corner of his mouth twitched up into a smirk. My brows rose as I gave him a look.
“Benny Nielson wants to buy a joint from Jaden Reid?”
“Only one. Come on, let’s have fun,” he said then placed a hand on my cheek. His soft lips met mine, and I smiled as I deepened it to taste his tongue, and as I opened my mouth, a low moan escaped. My fingers ran up his hair, and I tilted my head. We pulled away for a quick breath, and I used that as a chance to run my hand down his chest.
“You really wanna get stoned?” I asked. His jaw tightened as he gave a short nod. I sighed then stood up to call Jaden.
It took a while for Jaden to digest the fact that Lana Willson called him for something that’s not an invite to one of his parties because I was the sheriff’s daughter. When he said that, I had second thoughts on the whole thing. Yet it was too late because Jaden said he’d be here in no time. Soon, I heard the doorbell ring, and Benny went upstairs to get the money while I answered the door. When I opened the door, I saw the dark-skinned male with a smirk plastered on his face.
“I knew you’d call me someday.”
“Whatever, Jaden, where’s the stuff?”
“Right here, cupcake. Now where’s my money?” Jaden stated as he patted his back pocket.
“Benny’s getting it,” I said, and he nodded.
“How’s your day been?” He smiled.
“Shitty and you know it.”
“Well, I’m about to brighten up your night,” he said then rubbed his hands together. “When you left Blake’s house, he kicked Levi out. Literally…pushed him out the door.”
“Maybe he deserved it.”
“Ouch…now that’s a stinger.” He chuckled. “Don’t know where Radcliff is now, though, probably spending the night in his car.”
“Or with Uncle Griff,” I added then looked down. Somehow Uncle Griff would always be our second home.
“Who?” he asked as I looked up.
“No one.” I shrugged him off.
“Okay, well, listen…can I hang out with ya’ll for the night?” he asked as I raised a brow.
“Jaden Reid, the crackhead who holds the best parties, wants to spend the night here?”
“I’m flattered, hun, but it’s Saturday night and the plan was actually Blake’s house, but I don’t see that happening anytime soon, so…don’t worry, I got my own stuff,” he said then gestured with his thumb behind him to his car.
“Now why would I want to invite you in here? For all I know, you could be hiding from a cop.”
“Damn, girl.” He smirked. “Well, I guess you don’t really wa—”
“Fine.” I cut him off with a roll of my eyes. “But you have to be out of here by midnight.”
“Whoa, is that when the freaky shit happens between you two?” he asked, and I ignored him as I turned around. I heard Jaden close the door behind him in time to see Benny walk down the stairs in a black tee and a pair of sweatpants. I collapsed on the sofa while they greeted. “Look, man, no hard feelings? I’m just here for business and fun,” Jaden stated, and Benny slowly nodded then turned to me.
“He’s staying for a while,” I said, and Benny nodded.
“Cool, so Willson, you’ve done this before,” Jaden said then tossed me a lighter. “Show your boyfriend what you got.”
Jaden walked out of the house again, probably to get whatever he had to get high in his car. Benny sat down beside me and handed me the joint. As I lit it, I rotated it so that the whole thing ignited. Once it was burned, I closed my eyes then took a drag. I exhaled then handed it to Benny, whose eyes were on me the whole time. I gave him a questioning look as he held the joint between his thumb and index finger.
“That was hot,” he said as I laughed. With my hand, I gestured him to take a hit. He looked at me then at the joint. I watched as he put it between his lips then inhaled. A few seconds later, he removed it, and I watched in awe as he puffed it out. He offered it
to me, but I told him to take another drag because I loved how his eyebrows snapped together in focus.
“All right, let’s get this night started,” Jaden said as he walked in again. He shut the door then dropped his backpack on the armchair.
“What’s in the bag?” I asked as Benny handed me the joint.
“My baby.” He grinned then took out a hookah pipe.
***
I grinned at Benny as he took off his sweatpants. We played a game where we each took a long drag of a joint and the person who coughed first was the loser. With that, they had to remove a piece of clothing. Benny was down to his briefs while I still had my shirt, panties, and bra. Jaden was in the kitchen high as fuck from the shit he snorted. It made me realize that this was what he did on weekends. I wondered if Levi and Blake had ever done it. I knew Keene promised himself to never do drugs again, and he lived up to it.
“Okay, one…two…three!” Benny said, and I took a hit and tried to keep it in for as long as I could. Yet I had much more than him, and my eyes drooped. I coughed out immediately as Benny cheered.
“You got lucky,” I said then reached up under my shirt to unclip my bra. As I took it off, my eyes locked on Benny. He watched me, and I noticed he licked his bottom lip then bit it. I dropped my purple bra on the ground along with our other clothing. In the background, I heard Jaden howl like an idiot. I looked over my shoulder to see him on the island as he vaped.
“All right, enough of that,” I said because if I won next round, Benny would be naked. He agreed without hesitation then sat down on the sofa.
“I’m not even tired.” Benny smiled. I noticed his eyes were a bit red, but the swelling had gone down.
“Okay.” I smiled then leaned down to sit on his lap. “What do you wanna do?”
The corner of my mouth twitched up in a smirk as I leaned myself on him. I made sure to brush my nipples against his chest. I ran my palms up his bare pecs then around his neck. He smiled then wrapped his arms around me. We kissed except it was breath-taking, and his lips tasted like weed mixed with honey, yet it was still sweet.
“Okay…that’s my cue. Dude, can I swim in your pool?” Jaden asked. In response, Benny groaned against my lips. I heard the sliding door open, then a few seconds later, it shut. We pulled away, and I looked down at him. I smiled then ran my thumb across his skin. I traced my finger along his jawline and tilted his chin up to kiss him.
“Do you wanna do this?” he asked once he pulled away. I smiled at him then nodded. He smiled, looked at my lips, and kissed me again. I straddled him, and even though one layer kept us apart, it felt amazing. My body against his. His hands all over me with my fingers in his hair. Our lips moved slowly to grasp every moment. There was no rush; we had all the time in the world because we were alone. His fingers pressed onto my hips, and he moved me back and forth. I removed my lips as a moan escaped. When I arched my back, he leaned forward and kissed down my neck. My hips continued to move slowly, and every time I leaned back, I felt his erection. By his heavy breaths, and the number of hickeys he left on my neck, I realized he wouldn’t let me go until we did it. I didn’t go anywhere either because I didn’t have to feel myself to know that I was wet. I pressed his palms on the side of me again as he brought my shirt up. With one hand to keep my shirt up, he used the other to pull down his boxers. He was fast, and as I buried my face in the crook of his neck, I felt something against my underwear. I reached down and curled my fingers around it and got familiar to the touch. My fingers trailed along his length, right to the tip. Wow. I gave it one last stroke and moved my underwear aside then slowly took it in. His hold on my shirt was a long time gone as we moaned. He leaned his head back on the sofa while I rode him. My nails dug into his shoulders as his one arm reached up the back of my shoulder to pull me down, gently yet deeper. I whined with pleasure and opened my eyes slightly. In the back by the kitchen, I saw Jaden outside in his boxers as he raised his thumbs. I rolled my eyes and gave him the finger. He laughed, spun around, then jumped back in the bluish, illuminated pool. I looked down as I felt my inner thighs heat up. I dropped my head on Benny’s shoulder and moaned. He cursed and pulled my shirt over my head. I raised my arms to get it off completely then smiled as we continued.
When I opened my eyes, my head rested against a soft surface. I blinked a few times and noticed I was in bed. Benny’s bed to be precise, an amalgamated aroma of sweet odors lingered through the air. As I turned, I brushed my back against his smooth skin then tangled my legs in the cold sheets. I propped my head up on my hand and looked down at him. I ran my fingers through his hair and heard faint snores. The memories of last night floated in my mind as to how we ended up in the bed. It was incredible, that familiar feeling, yet it felt so different. It was more passionate, and he kissed me all the time, while taking it slow. Benny moved, and I removed my hand. He looked up at me with a lopsided grin. His hair was in all directions, and I glanced down and noticed the chain he wore, the one that matched the cute ring he got me. I reached down and put my index finger next to it. They fit into place as I smiled.
“How’d you sleep?”
“Good and you?” Just by his voice being raspy and his eyes squinted I could tell.
“Good. Where’s Jaden?” I asked because I don’t remember his whereabouts after the pool. Benny sat up and leaned against the headboard so that we were eye level.
“Exactly at midnight, he said ‘party’s over’ then left.” Benny shrugged then took his phone. I glanced at it and noticed that it was almost noon. “I’m gonna make us breakfast, well, brunch,” he stated then pushed the duvet off him. His back faced me, and I noticed marks ran down his back. I raised a brow then stretched out my hand to touch it, but he stood up.
“Err…Benny, did you use a condom?” I asked since I was too stoned last night to remember.
“Yeah,” he replied as I nodded. “The second time.”
I playfully rolled my eyes and flung a pillow at him. He laughed then slipped on a gray shirt. Once he was out of the room, I laid back then grabbed my phone. I turned it on and saw forty-seven missed calls and messages. Most of them were from yesterday.
Blake: Hey I’m sorry please we need to talk.
Blake: Lanaaaa I’m sorrrry pleaseeee.
Blake: I was a douche I know you care about him I just get jealous easily.
Levi: Come on princess I didn’t mean to beat him up.
Levi: Well maybe.
Levi: Shit sorry I wish I never sent that.
Levi: Even though you said I can’t call you that I can’t help it after so many years.
Blake: You there? Please.
Blake: I wish it went back to the day before homecoming where we were having lunch under a tree in front of the diner just talking. Getting to know each other. I’d rather prefer that than this shit.
Levi: P
R
I
N
C
E
S
S
Blake: I knew you wouldn’t be at home, but I went there anyway.
Levi: I didn’t get to tell you our plan. :(
Blake: Okay goodnight.
I let out a sigh and put my phone on the bedside table. I pushed myself out of bed then walked into the bathroom to clean myself. While doing so, my thoughts drifted off to what Miranda said. I had to tell Benny, no more secrets. Once I was done, I walked downstairs but was surprised when I saw Uncle Griff by the doorway. I folded my arms then stood next to Benny.
“Uncle Griff, hey, what are you doing here?”
“Lana, I just wanted to know if everything’s okay,” he said then looked at Benny. “Man, they really beat you to a pulp.”
“I’m okay,” I said then looked at Benny. “How’d you find out?”
“Levi came to me last night, drunk off his head,” he said. “He’s staying with me for a while because he said even Keene is mad at him. I think he’s still asleep.”
“Okay.” I shrugged. There wa
s an awkward silence that stretched between the three of us. Suddenly my hand slipped into Benny’s while Uncle Griff looked like he wanted to say something. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Benny reach up and scratch the back of his neck.
“Mr. Bronx, do you wanna come inside and eat? I just made lunch,” Benny offered, and it was kind of him to invite Uncle Griff, but I had to tell him.
“If you insist,” Uncle Griff answered then stepped into the house. I knew he’d say yes from the look he gave me since I wore a shirt that ended below my knee. At least I put on my socks.
“Hey, Uncle Griff…” I said as Benny walked into the kitchen.
“You better put on some pants before we eat,” he joked before I continued. I rolled my eyes as he laughed.
“What did Levi say when he came to your apartment?”
“Not much, he just slurred and said how he fucked up and that you hate him,” he said then turned to me. “Do you really hate him, Lana?”
I looked down, and before we entered the kitchen, I answered. “I hate Levi for what he did.”
With that, I walked around the table and sat. All the food was on the table, so Uncle Griff and Benny took their seats. Benny sat opposite me with Uncle Griffon at the end between us. We ate in silence, and the thing about Levi drifted away. I poked my food and decided whether I should tell Benny. I couldn’t hold it in anymore, and the thought of it made me frail. I’ve never spoken about it before, nevertheless told anyone. Levi, Blake, Ethan, Carter, Keene, Axel, and Jaden found out. Aidan knew but didn’t tell anyone. Maybe that’s why he felt guilty.
