Because I Love You

by A'zayler

I yawned. “I’m sorry, I was so sleepy.”

  “It’s cool. I wanted you to take a ride with me. You got anything planned for today?”

  I shook my head because even if I did, I’d cancel my plans for him.

  He kissed the front of my foot that was near his head and stood to his feet. “Get dressed.”

  It took me a minute to pull myself out of bed, but once I did, I was dressed and ready before he was. I was in the mirror putting on my earrings when he walked back into our room on the phone.

  “You can tell that nigga he can either see me about it or dismiss his problems. I’m not about to do this pussy boy shit with him.” He lifted the red fitted cap from his head and scratched his forehead before replacing it. “Hell nah, they should have thought about that shit last night before his niggas popped off.” He was quiet, obviously listening to the caller. His eyes came to me, and he licked his lips. “Damn, Brina-Breen, you almost made my heart stop.”

  I was blushing so hard that I couldn’t even finish putting my earrings on.

  “Nah, I ain’t talking to you, nigga. I was talking to my wife. I ain’t even hear what you said. Her fine ass caught me off guard. Say it again.”

  BB winked at me before motioning for me to come to him. I went and sat on his lap. He poked his lips out in my direction so that I could kiss him. With the phone still to his ear, he opened his mouth and slid me his tongue. He was kissing me like he wasn’t even in the middle of a conversation. This crazy boy even moaned before pulling away.

  “You trying to start something with me, ain’t you?”

  “No, that’s you.”

  “Yeah, it is.” He pecked my mouth again. “You ready?”

  “I just need to grab my purse, and I’m good.”

  BB tapped my butt lightly, letting me know it was okay for me to stand up. When I was off his lap, he walked to the closet while I walked back to the mirror. I put my earrings on and was headed to get my purse, but he came out with it hanging from his hand.

  When I grabbed it, the stacks of money caught my attention. I looked at him and winked. “That’s for being so perfect every day. Put it up, let’s go.”

  “You’re such a cake daddy.”

  He chuckled. “For you, I’ll be anything. Come on.”

  He walked away from me, and I could hear him resume his conversation. I wasn’t sure what it was about, and I didn’t care. He handled his street things away from the house, and I had yet to be put into any serious danger, so I was fine. When we finally made it out of the house, we got in his car and headed down the street. The red bandana and gun that had been in the front seat were now in my lap as he drove.

  “Where are we going?”

  “I need to hit up this nigga Master real quick. He’s pissing me off about my paper, so I’m about to go see his ass.”

  “You didn’t need me to do that.”

  BB looked at me like I was crazy. “I need you for everything. What you mean?”

  “I need you too, B, but I hate going to his house. All those girls be over there looking at me all crazy.”

  “Fuck them bitches. They’re looking at you like that because they want to be you. Them hoes are jealous because you my queen, and you stay stunting on their dirty asses. If they look at you stupid today, tell me. I’ll handle that shit.” He moved around in his seat, and I just smiled and shook my head.

  If you wanted to piss BB off, mess with me. You’d have a real problem. It didn’t matter if you were a man or a woman.

  “I will not.” I snickered. “You are not about to go up in that man’s house starting stuff with his girls. I’ll be fine. Azayna is probably there anyway.”

  “Azayna? You love that damn girl.”

  “I sure do. That’s my best friend.”

  He grabbed my hand and held it. “I know, I just don’t understand why.”

  “Nobody does.” I laughed, but that was the truth.

  Nobody who ever met us understood why I loved Azayna the way I did, but it wasn’t anything I was interested in explaining. She was my girl, and it didn’t matter how she got her money. Everybody wasn’t as fortunate as others. She’d had a hard life, so her getting paper for pussy was her business, not mine. Azayna had a good heart and a really sweet spirit. If people were nicer to her, they would know that.

  Unfortunately, they didn’t care to. All they cared about was the Dream they knew in the hood, but she was so much more than that. If only I could get her to see that for herself.

  “I can’t wait to see you pregnant with my baby.” BB looked over at me and smiled. “I can already see you now. You gon’ be pretty as hell.”

  “Where did that come from, BB?”

  He tapped the side of his head. “Up here.” He and I both laughed. “But, for real, I’m always thinking about you having my kids. Maybe a daughter who looks like you.”

  “What about a little boy who looks just like you?”

  He shrugged. “That’s cool too. Li’l bloody ass junior.”

  I shook my head immediately. “No sir, I think not. Our baby will not be a blood.”

  BB’s face frowned, and I fell over in laughter. “You crazy. That li’l nigga won’t have a choice.”

  “Yes, he does. He can be a Crip if he wants. Blue is my favorite color anyway.”

  I couldn’t do anything but laugh when BB squeezed my hand in his. I was trying my best to pull it away when he bit the back of it.

  “Oww, B, why you do that?”

  “So, I could make you bleed and remember who your husband is.”

  When he finally released it, I nursed my hand and poked my lip out in a fake pout. I could feel him looking at me, but I refused to look up. He’d tried to start conversations with me the entire ride to Master’s house, and I ignored him on purpose. By the time we parked and got out, he’d clearly had enough of my fake attitude.

  I was about to walk up the stairs, but he pulled me back and pressed me into the side of one of the cars in the driveway. He made sure to press his body into mine before grabbing both sides of my face.

  “You so chocolate and cute.”

  I looked away from him, but he turned me back around to face him.

  “I know you’re not mad for real?”

  I wasn’t, but I wasn’t going to tell him just yet. I loved it when he groveled.

  “You know I was just playing.” He kissed my lips. “You know I wouldn’t hurt my baby.”

  The smile I’d been holding in came out anyway.

  “There it goes.” He poked his finger in one of my dimples. “Stop this attitude stuff. You know it be breaking a nigga’s heart.”

  I was really smiling then. “I guess I forgive you.”

  “Nah, don’t forgive me yet. Make me work for it.” He winked and pulled me behind him. “I want you to make me make it up to you.”

  I switched up behind him, giggling at the sexual promise in his words. I was so in love with that man that I had to touch him. I grabbed his hand and held it as we approached the front door to Master’s house. He quickly pecked my cheek before knocking on the door. Like always, a girl answered. She was light skinned with a purple haircut. I wanted to compliment her hair, but the way she was eyeing my husband made me change my mind.

  He walked right past her, not even bothering to greet her. I smirked at his rudeness and followed right behind him. More half naked women came into view as we made our way down the hallway. Most women might have felt some type of way to have their man in a house full of naked prostitutes, but I didn’t. If I didn’t know anything else, I knew BB loved me.

  I also knew how sexually attracted he was to me. He made that very clear day in and day out. Furthermore, as fine as he made me feel, I didn’t see anybody who looked better than me. Anything these girls could offer him, I could and would do it better.

  “BB.”

  BB and I both looked up the hallway. Egypt was strolling coolly toward us. Just like every other time I saw him, he was alone and chilling with his gu
n tucked securely beneath his arm. I found his holster placing so peculiar. The first time I’d expressed that to BB, he’d informed me that it was a respect/warning thing. Of course, I understood immediately. Egypt wasn’t the biggest man I’d ever seen, but he was definitely the most intimidating. Out of all the men that BB regularly told me about, the majority of the stories were about Egypt.

  Initially, it had been hard for me to believe because he looked so boyishly handsome. Nothing about him outside of his gun and red bandana looked threatening, but his actions had definitely spoken a lot louder than anything I’d ever heard him say. His demeanor was similar to BB’s, but he was a couple of notches rowdier than him if necessary. I’d seen that with my own eyes. He didn’t play about my baby, and I loved Egypt so much for that. He was really the only person I trusted BB out with because I knew he would protect him with his life.

  “Young blood, what’s popping, baby?” BB dapped Egypt up and pulled him in for a brotherly hug.

  “Ain’t shit. Coming to holla at this nigga about my fucking money. He been tripping about that party house shit.” Egypt looked at me and nodded. “What’s going on, Brina? You feeling alright today?”

  “I’m well, Egypt, you?”

  “Making it.”

  “I think he’s just mad because the niggas I popped were some of that nigga Pat’s people. He don’t want that gang beef, but you know I don’t give a fuck. I love that shit.”

  My ears zoomed in because that was the same thing BB was there for. Master was tripping. If he wanted to try anybody, it shouldn’t have never been BB and Egypt. That was insane.

  “Don’t sweat it, baby boy. You already know how I’m coming.” BB tapped Egypt’s chest with the back of his hand. “I got you. Come on.”

  Still holding my hand, BB knocked on the door once before pushing it open. Master was seated behind a large desk with his phone pressed against his ear. He was speaking quietly but ended his call upon seeing us. I momentarily felt uncomfortable because his eyes went straight to me.

  Though I was sure he and I were on the same page, wondering what I was doing there, BB ended all that the moment he took a seat in front of Master’s desk and pulled me down onto his lap. Clearly, I wasn’t going anywhere.

  I could tell by how cocky his presence became that he dared Master to speak on me being there. It didn’t make any sense how in love I was with that man. His influence over others was so strong that it allowed me to be as free and privileged as I wanted to be. As if BB’s command wasn’t strong enough, the way Egypt opted out of sitting in the other empty chair and posted up next to us screamed through the silence in the room.

  His face was straight as he relaxed casually with one hand in his pocket in the other beneath the strap of his gun holster. He and BB together blew my mind. Before falling in love with BB, I’d never dreamed of living a life like this. I’d been reading about it for years, but it was still nothing like living it.

  “You good?” BB moved some of my hair from my neck and pushed it over my shoulder so that he could see my face.

  I nodded.

  “You sure? You want something?”

  “No, baby, I’m fine.”

  He was staring at me as if I was lying, but I really was fine. As long as I was with him, I’d forever be good. Looking into his eyes made me smile, even laugh eventually. He smiled right back and rubbed his hand up my thigh.

  “What you laughing at?”

  “How you offering me stuff in another man’s house?”

  He twisted his mouth to the side as if saying I should have known better. “Come on now, baby, you’ve just been forgetting who your man is all day haven’t you?”

  “Fellas, what’s up?” Master’s voice interrupted me and BB’s conversation, well halfway because BB didn’t look his way. I still had his full attention.

  “This shouldn’t take long,” he told me.

  I smiled and pecked the side of his forehead before discreetly pushing his head in Master’s direction. I felt so embarrassed for Master because of how bad BB was ignoring him. Egypt nor BB seemed to care, but that was so rude. Those two were too much. I didn’t know what was worse, BB looking at me while Master was talking to him, or Egypt looking directly in Master’s face and still not acknowledging him.

  The subtle pinch to the top of my butt told me that BB had caught on to what I’d done. Hopefully, he’d do better.

  “I don’t know. That’s what I’m trying to find out. I heard some shit from one of my young gunnas about his work being shortened because of the shootout the other night,” BB spoke first.

  “I didn’t get all of mine either,” Egypt spoke up.

  I looked from BB to him. Egypt’s locs were standing up on his head, and his lineup was fresh, while his gold teeth and jewelry shined against his light skin. The all black clothing he wore had him looking mysterious while his cute little face mellowed out of the danger the rest of him presented. I smiled at him when he looked over at me. He didn’t smile back. Such a mean little fella.

  I snickered as I thought about how bad Azayna talked about him. She loved Egypt to no end but hated him just the same. I could see it, though. The attraction she had to him, I could understand why it was the way it was. Egypt looked like the type of man who would love you the way BB loved me, but he also looked crazy like he’d slap you around for not loving him back.

  “I’ve been catching heat behind this shooting for days now. They lost a few people, so you know they’re threatening retaliation.”

  “I don’t give a fuck.” BB sat up some, situating me on his lap in the process.

  “We ain’t scared.” Egypt’s hand came out of his pocket. “Never running from them niggas.”

  Master looked stressed as he bit his bottom lip, probably trying to think of what to say. As far as I knew, Master wasn’t in street drama. He ran women and women only. BB had told me plenty of times that the only reason they even kept him alive was that he had dope connections. As much as BB talked about getting his own stuff set up, I prayed for Master’s life every night because I was sure the moment they found a new way to get their drugs, it would be over.

  “That gang shit fucks up my business,”

  “Gang shit?” Egypt questioned. “Respect it, Blood.”

  I heard the warning in Egypt’s voice, and it made my heart beat fast. I knew BB would never allow anything to happen to me, but I didn’t like fights or anything that led to it. Especially with men. They could get so ruthless. Apparently, BB felt my anxiousness because he tapped Egypt’s chest at the same time he kissed the side of my arm.

  “Everything’s fine, Breen.”

  How did he know me so well? I looked down at him, and even with him not looking at me, I could feel the comfort in his touch. He’d leaned forward and was resting his forearm on his knee while the other arm remained draped around me, rubbing the side of my stomach. Stuff like that was why I was as spoiled as I was. Never once had he ever deprived me of attention. He could be in the middle of a conversation and would stop to give me whatever he thought I needed at that moment.

  When I turned around, I caught Master’s eye. He nodded and gave a flat smile. I did the same before looking down at my phone. I needed something to take my mind off what they were talking about.

  “Fellas, all I’m saying is we have to find a way to keep everything calm, so we can all get what’s due to us.”

  “That’s the problem now, we ain’t. You cutting niggas bread off. You think that’s not going to cause issues?” Egypt’s voice was adorable.

  He had so much fight in him to be so small. He had such a little brother vibe. I was probably only about four years older, but I felt so protective when it came to him. I didn’t know if it was because of how much BB loved him, or just because of his personality. Either way, he was our little homie.

  “Listen.” BB held his hand up as he talked. “Get my people their bread, and we’ll handle the rest. Pat knows not to fuck with us. If he doesn’t, we’ll
remind him.”

  I loved and hated to hear my baby talk that thug stuff. It turned me on and scared me to death in the same breath.

  Master roughly exhaled. “Come on, BB. Man, we can’t have all that animosity in the streets. We’ll be losing people left and right.”

  “What’s it to you? You ain’t out there.”

  “My girls are,” Master stressed to Egypt.

  I watched BB rub his chin while biting his bottom lip. His sexy self. I loved watching him think; it stimulated me in so many dirty ways.

  “So, you’re worried about these hoes?”

  Master nodded.

  “Bet. I’m worried about my young shooters, so we on the same page. Get them their bread like I said, and I’ll handle the rest.” BB patted my butt again. “Stand up, baby.”

  I was immediately on my feet, and he was right behind me, chest to my back, still holding my hand. This meeting was over, I guessed. I wasn’t surprised in the least. BB was a man of few words. He said what he had to say, and that was it. It was up to you what you did with it.

  “What if something happens to one of my girls?”

  “It’s their own fault. They ain’t got no business selling pussy anyway.” Egypt shrugged.

  BB chuckled and patted Egypt’s shoulder. “Chill out, nigga.” He then looked over at Master. “We got them, just do what I said.”

  Master nodded and seemed to appreciate BB’s response much more than Egypt’s. Nothing more was said as BB led me from the room with Egypt following close behind. We were at BB’s car when they began to talk again.

  “What you think about this nigga?” Egypt questioned BB.

  BB smiled. “You hate that fool, don’t you?”

  “I hate everybody.”

  I joined in on their laughter when he said that. “Even my friend?”

  Egypt’s whole face frowned. “Especially your friend.”

  “You don’t need to do her like that. She was really worried about you last night.”

  “Baby, Egypt ain’t stunting these women.”

  Egypt nodded and smirked at me. “Please, remind your wife of that every day.”

  I smiled and shook my head while getting into the car so they could talk. I hated how Egypt played Azayna so much, but there was clearly nothing I could do about that. It sucked for him, though, because he really was missing out on a great person. She wasn’t like me; she was street. She’d be perfect for him. I knew that for a fact after she stayed in that house last night to warn him even after we heard the men talking about shooting.