After We Collided

by Anna Todd

  And Landon wouldn’t call Tessa and trick her into coming back to my father’s house no matter how many times I tried to force him to. He’s a dick.

  Still, I have to admit I admire his loyalty, but not when it stands in the way of what I want. Landon said I should allow Tessa to make the choice whether she wants to be with me or not, but I know what she’d choose. Well, I thought I did.

  I was completely blindsided by Zed picking her up and having spent almost the entire weekend with her.

  “What’s going on with you?” Jace asks me, his pot smoke blowing right in my face.

  “Nothing.”

  “I must say I was pretty surprised to have you show up at my door tonight after what happened the last time I saw you,” he reminds me.

  “You know why I’m here.”

  “Do I?” he taunts.

  “Tessa and Zed. I know you know about it.”

  “Tessa? Tessa Young and Zed Evans?” He smiles. “Tell me.”

  He needs to wipe that goddamned smile off his face.

  After I meet him with silence, he shrugs. “I don’t know anything about it, honest.” He takes another drag, and small flakes of the white paper fall onto his lap, not that he seems to notice.

  “You’re never honest.” I take another sip.

  “Yes, I am. So they’re fucking?” He raises a brow.

  I nearly choke on my breath from his question. “Don’t fucking go there. Have you seen them together?” I breathe in and out slowly.

  “Nope, I don’t know anything about them.” Jace puts his joint in the ashtray. “I thought he was dating some high school chick.”

  I stare at a pile of dirty laundry in the corner of the room. “So did I.”

  “So she ditched you for Zed?”

  “Don’t mock me, I’m not in the mood.”

  “You came here asking questions. I’m not mocking you,” Jace sneers.

  “I heard they were together on Friday, and I wanted to know who was there.”

  “I don’t know. I wasn’t, though. Don’t you two live together or some shit?” He takes his wannabe-hipster glasses off and places them on the table.

  “Yes. Why do you think I’m so pissed about this shit with Zed.”

  “Well, you know how he’s after what you—”

  “I know.” I hate Jace, I really do. And Zed. Couldn’t Tessa have chosen Trevor to move on with? Holy shit, I never thought I would consider her being with Trevor a positive.

  I roll my eyes and fight the urge to knock Jace through his coffee table. This is getting me nowhere, none of this is—the drinking, the anger, none of it.

  “You’re sure you don’t know shit, because if I find out you do, I will kill you. You know that, don’t you?” I threaten, meaning every word.

  “Yes, dude, we all know how psychotic you are over this chick. Stop being such a dick.”

  “I’m just warning you,” I tell him, and he rolls his eyes.

  Why did I start hanging out with him in the first place? He’s a fucking slime ball, and I should have let our so-called friendship end with me beating his ass.

  Jace gets up and does a slow stretch. “Well, man, I’m going to bed now. It’s four a.m. You can crash on the couch if you want.”

  “No, I’m good,” I say and head for the door.

  It’s four in the morning, and it’s cold outside, but I’ll never be able to sleep knowing she’s with Zed. At his apartment. What if he’s touching her? What if he spent this entire weekend touching her?

  Would she fuck him to spite me?

  No, I know her better than that. This is a girl who still blushes each time I slide her panties down her thighs. However, Zed can be pretty convincing, and he could have her drinking. I know she can’t handle alcohol—two drinks and she starts cursing like a sailor and trying to unfasten my belt.

  Fuck, if he gets her drunk and touches her . . .

  I make a U-turn right in the middle of the intersection and hope there are no cops around, especially since they’ll smell the beer on my breath.

  Fuck this staying-away-from-her shit. I may have been a dick to her, and I have treated her like shit—but Zed is far worse than me. I love her more than he, or any other man, possibly could. I know what I had now. I know what the fuck I had to lose—and now that I’ve lost it, I need it back. He can’t have her, no one can. No one except me.

  Goddammit. Why didn’t I just apologize to her at the party? That’s what I should have done. I should have dropped to my knees in front of everyone and begged for her to forgive me, and we could be in our bed together right now. Instead I argued with her, and accidentally knocked her over when I was so mad I couldn’t tell who was who.

  Zed is a fucking prick. Who the fuck does he think he is, picking her up from that party? Is he serious?

  My anger is getting the best of me again. I need to calm down before I get there. If I stay calm she’ll speak to me, I hope.

  By the time I get to Zed’s door, it’s four thirty in the morning. I stop and stand still for a few minutes in an attempt to calm myself down. Finally, I knock and wait impatiently.

  Just as I’m about to turn my knocking into pounding, the door swings open, revealing Tyler, Zed’s roommate, who I’ve spoken to a few times when they had parties here.

  “Scott? What’s up, man?” he slurs.

  “Where’s Zed?” I push past him, not wasting any time.

  He rubs his eyes. “Dude, you know it’s like five in the morning, right?”

  “Nope, only four thirty. Where . . .” But then I notice the folded-up blanket on the couch. Neatly folded: a Tessa indicator. It takes a moment for my brain to connect to the fact that the couch is empty.

  Where is she if she’s not on the couch?

  Bile rises in my throat, and I lose the ability to breathe for the hundredth time tonight. I storm across the apartment, leaving a confused Tyler in my wake.

  When I open Zed’s bedroom, it’s dark, near pitch black. I pull my phone from my pocket and switch on its flashlight. Tessa’s blond hair is sprawled out on the pillow under her, and Zed is shirtless.

  Oh my fucking God.

  When I find the light switch and flip it on, Tessa stirs and rolls over onto her side. My boot hits the edge of a desk with a loud thud. She scrunches her eyes shut and then opens them slightly to find the source of disruption.

  I try to think of what to say as I process the scene in front of me. Tess and Zed in bed, together.

  “Hardin?” she whines, and a frown takes over as she appears to wake up. She looks over to Zed before she looks up at me, clearly shocked. “What . . . what are you doing here?” she asks frantically.

  “No, no. What are you doing here! In bed with him?” I try my best not to shout, my fingernails digging into my palm.

  If she fucked him, I’m done, completely and utterly fucking done with her.

  “How did you get in here?” she asks, her face full of sadness.

  “Tyler let me in. You’re in his bed? How could you be in his bed?”

  Zed rolls over onto his back and wipes his eyes, then he pops up and sits ready, eyeing me where I stand in the doorway. “What the hell are you doing in my room?” he demands.

  Don’t, Hardin. Stay still. I have to stay fucking still or someone will end up in the hospital. That someone is Zed, but if I’m going to get her away from him, I have to stay as calm as possible.

  “I came to get you, Tessa. Let’s go,” I say and reach my hand out, even though I’m across the room.

  Her brow furrows. “Excuse me?”

  Here comes the infamous Tessa attitude . . .

  “You can’t just come to my apartment and tell her to leave.” Zed moves to get out of bed, and I see he’s only in loose gym shorts that sag down to show his boxers.

  I don’t think I can stay calm.

  “I can, and I just did. Tessa . . .” I wait for her to get off the bed, but she doesn’t move.

  “I’m not going anywhere wit
h you, Hardin,” she tells me.

  “You heard her, man. She’s not coming with you,” Zed taunts me.

  “I wouldn’t start that shit right now. I’m trying with every fucking fiber of my being not to do anything that I’ll regret, so just shut the fuck up,” I growl.

  He throws his arms wide in challenge to me. “It’s my apartment, my bedroom at that—and she doesn’t want to go with you, so she’s not. If you want to fight me, then go ahead. But I’m not going to force her to go if she doesn’t want to.” When he finishes, he gives her the fakest concerned expression I’ve ever seen.

  I let out an evil laugh. “That’s the plan, though, isn’t it? You get me mad enough so I beat your ass, and she’ll feel bad for you, and I’ll be the monster who everyone is afraid of? Don’t buy into this shit, Tessa!” I shout.

  I can’t stand the fact that she’s still sitting in his bed, and even more I can’t stand the fact that I can’t beat the shit out of him for it because that’s exactly what he wants.

  Tessa sighs. “Just go.”

  “Tessa, listen to me. He isn’t who you think he is, he’s not Mr. Fucking Innocent.”

  “And how’s that?” she challenges.

  “Because . . . well, I don’t know—yet. But I know he’s using you for something. He just wants to fuck you—you know this,” I tell her, struggling to keep hold of my emotions.

  “No, he doesn’t.” She says it flatly, but I can see she’s getting angry.

  “Dude, you should just go—she doesn’t want to leave. You’re making a fool out of yourself.”

  When the words leave his busted lip, my body starts to shake. I have way too much anger that I need to let out.

  “I warned you—to shut the fuck up. Tessa, stop being difficult and let’s go. We need to talk.”

  “It’s the middle of the night, and you—” she begins, but I cut her off.

  “Please, Tessa.”

  Her expression changes as she hears my words, and I have no idea why. “No, Hardin, you can’t just come here and demand that I leave with you!”

  Zed shrugs and nonchalantly says, “Don’t make me call the cops, Hardin.”

  And that’s it. I take a step toward him, but Tessa jumps up off the bed and steps between us. “Don’t. Not again,” she begs, her eyes staring directly into mine.

  “Then come with me. You can’t trust him,” I tell her.

  Zed scoffs. “And she can trust you? You blew it, just face it. She deserves better than you, and if you would just let her be happy—”

  “Let her be happy? With you? As if you actually want a relationship with her? I know you only want to get in her pants!”

  “That’s not true! I care about her and I could treat her better than you ever did!” he shouts back in my face, and Tessa presses her palms against my chest.

  I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help but revel in her touch, the way her hands feel against me. I haven’t felt her touch in so long.

  “Both of you stop, please! Hardin, you have to go.”

  “I’m not leaving, Tessa. You’re too naïve, he could give a shit about you!” I yell in her face.

  She doesn’t even blink. “And you do? You were ‘too busy’ to call me for eleven days! He was there when you weren’t, and if . . .” she shouts, and continues shouting something at me, but right then I notice her clothing.

  Is she? She isn’t . . .

  I take a step back to find out for sure. “Are those . . . what the hell are you wearing?” I stammer and begin to pace back and forth.

  She looks down, seeming to have forgotten her attire.

  “Are those his fucking clothes?!” I nearly scream. My voice cracks and I tug at my hair.

  “Hardin . . .” She tries to speak.

  “Indeed they are,” Zed answers for her.

  If she’s wearing his clothes . . . “Did you fuck him?” I croak, tears threatening to spill at any given moment.

  Her eyes go wide. “No! Of course not!”

  “Tell me the truth right fucking now, Tessa! Did you fuck him?”

  “I already answered you!” she shouts back.

  Zed stands back and watches with a worried look on his bruised face. I should have done more damage.

  “Did you touch him? Oh my fucking God! Did he touch you?” I’m frantic and I don’t give a shit. I can’t handle this; if he touched her I couldn’t stand it, I wouldn’t be able to.

  I turn to Zed before either of them can answer. “If you touched her at all, I swear to fucking God I don’t give a shit if she’s here or not, I’ll—”

  She steps between us again, and I see fear in her eyes.

  “Get out of my apartment now or I’m calling the police,” Zed threatens me.

  “The police? You think I give a flying—”

  “I’ll go.” Tessa’s voice is soft in the middle of the chaos.

  “What?” Zed and I say in unison.

  “I’ll go with you, Hardin, only because I know you won’t leave unless I do.”

  And I feel relief. Well, a little. I don’t give a fuck why she’s coming, only that she is.

  Zed turns to her, almost pleading. “Tessa, you don’t have to go; I can call the cops. You don’t have to leave with him. This is what he does, he controls you by frightening you and everyone around you.”

  “You’re not wrong . . .” She sighs. “But I’m exhausted, and it’s five in the morning, and we do have stuff to talk about, so this is the easiest way.”

  “It doesn’t have to—”

  “She’s coming with me,” I tell him, and Tessa shoots me a glare that would surely kill me dead if it could.

  “Zed, let me just call you tomorrow. I’m so sorry that he came here,” she tells him softly, and at last he nods, finally understanding that I’ve won. He’s fucking sulking, and she better not fall for it.

  Actually, I’m really surprised she’s agreeing to come with me so easily . . . but she does know me better than anyone else, so she was right when she said I wouldn’t leave until she came with me.

  “Don’t apologize. Be careful, and if you need anything, don’t hesitate for a moment to call me,” he says to her.

  It must suck to be a little bitch and not be able to do shit about me showing up at his apartment in the middle of the night and taking Tessa with me.

  Tessa doesn’t speak a word as she walks out of his bedroom and stalks to the bathroom across the hall.

  “Don’t come near her again. I’ve already warned you before, and you haven’t gotten the hint yet,” I say when I reach the bedroom door.

  Zed glowers at me, and if it weren’t for Tessa calling my name from the living room, I would have snapped his neck.

  “If you hurt her, I swear to God I will make it the last time!” he says loud enough for her to hear as we walk through the door and out into the snow.

  chapter ninety-five

  HARDIN

  High heels and his fucking boxers. It’s a ridiculous pairing, but I assume she doesn’t have other shoes, which may be a sign that she didn’t plan on staying the night. But, still, she did, and I’m fucking disgusted that she was in his bed. I can’t stand to look at her in those clothes. This is the first time that I don’t want to look at her. Her red dress is in her arms and I know she’s freezing.

  I tried to give her my coat, but she just snapped at me to shut up and take her to my father’s place. I don’t even mind her anger toward me; in fact, I welcome it. I’m so relieved and so damn happy that she left with me at all. She could curse me out the entire drive and I’d enjoy every word falling from her full lips.

  I’m angry, too, angry at her for running to Zed. Angry at myself for trying to push her away. “I have so much to tell you,” I say as we pull onto my father’s street.

  With an icy glare she holds her ground, though. “I don’t want to hear it. You had your chance to talk to me for the past eleven days.”

  “Just hear me out, okay?” I beg.

  “
Why now?” she asks and looks out the window.

  “Because . . . because I miss you,” I admit.

  “You miss me? You mean you’re jealous that I was with Zed. You didn’t miss me until he picked me up tonight. You are fueled by jealousy, not love.”

  “That’s not true, that doesn’t have anything to do with it.” Okay, it does have a lot to do with it, but I do miss her, regardless.

  “You didn’t talk to me all evening, then you came outside and told me you were too busy to talk to me. That’s not what you do when you miss someone,” she points out.

  “I was lying.” I lift my hands into the air.

  “You? Lying? No way.” Her eyes close, and she shakes her head slowly.

  God, she’s feisty tonight. I take a deep breath to make sure that I don’t say something that will make this worse. “I don’t have a phone, for starters, and I went home to England.”

  Her head snaps to look at me. “You what?”

  “I went to England to clear my head. I didn’t know what else to do,” I explain.

  Tessa turns down the volume on the radio and crosses her arms in front of her chest. “You didn’t answer my calls.”

  “I know. I ignored them, and I’m so sorry for that. I wanted to call you back, but I couldn’t bring myself to, and then I got drunk and broke my phone.”

  “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”

  “No . . . I just want you to be happy, Tessa.”

  She doesn’t say anything; she looks out the window again and I reach for her hand, but she pulls away. “Don’t,” she says.

  “Tess . . .”

  “No, Hardin! You can’t just show up eleven days later and hold my hand. I’m sick of going around in circles with you. I’m finally at a point where I can go an hour without crying, then you pop up and try to pull me back under. You’ve done this to me since the day I met you, and I’m sick of giving in to it. If you cared about me, you would have explained yourself.” She’s trying her hardest not to cry, I can tell.

  “I’m trying to explain myself now,” I remind her, my annoyance growing as I pull into my father’s driveway.

  She tries to open the door, but I hit the locks.