by Ronica Black
He caught her stare and grinned as he chewed. They were eating at Streets of New York, a popular chain of small Italian restaurants located throughout the greater Phoenix area. This particular one, closest to the dealership where Aaron worked, was Molly’s favorite place to eat. They’d talk and munch on garlic bread nestled at a back table, surrounded by classic black-and-white images of New York on the walls and flat screen televisions silently playing the latest ball game in every corner.
When she was younger, Molly used to beg to eat there because, according to her, it was dark and cool and smelled good. But that was Molly. Always noticing and appreciating things others didn’t. She reminded Olivia so much of herself at that age.
Olivia took a bite of her turkey sandwich and sipped from the second Diet Coke she’d allowed for the day. Technically, in agreement with Eve, she was supposed to only have one, which she usually had in the morning. And that allowance of one was supposed to come to an end today. But she was dreading tomorrow and every day thereafter when she couldn’t have any. With that in mind, she’d been unable to resist another when ordering and she’d told herself it was okay because they were eating out. She wondered, however, what Eve would say, if she ever dared to tell her.
It probably wouldn’t go over very well.
“So, you’re working with a trainer now?” Aaron asked, sipping from his mug of beer. “How’s that going?” He absently brushed back a lock of hair from his forehead. He was a handsome guy with thick brown hair like Olivia’s which he wore combed back away from his face. Loose strands often fell forward by the end of the day, despite his heavy use of hair gel. His eyes were also like Olivia’s, only a shade lighter. And they, in combination with his hair and square jaw he inherited from their father, got him a lot of attention from the ladies.
“We’re just getting started, so I really can’t say yet. I’m meeting with her tomorrow for weightlifting. Kind of nervous.”
“Weightlifting? You? What’s the world coming to.” He laughed and cut into a large meatball.
“She’s making changes, Dad,” Molly said, setting down the phone. She forked some of her pasta. “Don’t give her a hard time.”
“I’ll say,” he said, directing his comment to Olivia. “You’re making so many changes, I’m having a hard time keeping up. Do you know something we don’t? Is the world going to end?”
She gave him her best “ha ha very funny” look. “I just got sick and tired of the rut I was living in. And I realized I didn’t want to waste another second wallowing in it.”
They hadn’t spoken a lot about the changes she’d made in the past year or so, and she was surprised he was bringing it up now. He’d been supportive, of course, with each decision she’d made, but he hadn’t pushed her for her reasons why. But that was how they’d always been. In her family, you didn’t talk about your feelings or anything very deep. So she and Aaron had grown up side by side this way, just always supporting the other with a quiet presence. The only thing they ever discussed in depth was their relationship with their parents. That was a topic they both had a lot to say about.
“I understand,” he said. “You weren’t happy. I know being married to Kenny wasn’t easy. I’m not, as you now know, a big fan as far as he is concerned. So, I totally get you needing to leave. Even if Mom and Dad don’t.”
She’d always suspected that he didn’t like Kenny. She could tell by the way he behaved around him. Now, she wished she’d asked him why. Maybe if they’d talked about it, she wouldn’t have married him. Maybe if they’d talked about the way she felt toward his ex-wife he never would’ve married her. But then they wouldn’t have Molly. And she knew no matter what Aaron had experienced with Gina, he’d go through it all again in a heartbeat for Molly.
“Why are Grandma and Grandpa so old-fashioned? Why would they want Auntie Liv to stay married to a grumpy jerk like Kenny? I don’t get it.” Molly didn’t bother to look up from her food. She just forked another bite.
Olivia laughed at her reference to Kenny. She’d heard her refer to him as such once before, on the day she moved out and Molly and Aaron had come to help.
“They don’t believe in divorce, Molls,” Aaron said. “It goes against their faith.”
“So, you’re just supposed to be unhappy?” She shook her head. “We have faith, Dad. So does Auntie Liv. Why don’t Grandma and Grandpa have any common sense like we do?”
“Their beliefs are a little different than ours. A little more intense.” He glanced at Olivia and sipped his beer.
“Yeah, I know that. You guys tell me stories all the time. I just want to know why. Why would anyone choose to live like that?”
“People just do. They choose to believe what they want. When you grow up, you may decide to believe something other than me.”
“I’ll never believe in staying married to someone who makes me miserable. That’s for sure.”
She was so smart and insightful. She amazed Olivia every time she saw her.
They ate in silence for a while before Aaron spoke again, directing his words to Olivia.
“Have you spoken to them lately?”
Olivia put down the remainder of her sandwich, suddenly unable to finish it.
“Mom called a week ago. She didn’t bring up the divorce or anything, just filled me in on the little church she and Dad found and proceeded to complain about it, but said they would keep going regardless.”
“I got the same,” Aaron said. “Only then I got grilled about your life.”
“Why doesn’t she just ask me?” Olivia said.
“Come on, Olivia, you’re the smart one. You know how Mom and Dad are. They don’t talk about anything personal and they insist they don’t want to know anything personal. But that’s total crap. Mom has an obsession with wanting to know. She’s just sneaky, or in her case, not so sneaky, in the way she tries to get information. Hence her never asking us anything about our lives directly.”
“Have you noticed that her questioning and curiosity skyrocket when she suspects we’re doing something she doesn’t approve of?” Olivia rubbed her forehead. “She must be absolutely riddling you with questions about me, then. Since I’m a divorced woman and all. I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t apologize for what she does,” Aaron said.
“She’s just, she drives me nuts.”
Molly laughed and Olivia realized what she was doing in talking the way she was.
“I’m sorry, Molls, I shouldn’t say this stuff in front of you. You have a good relationship with your grandparents and I don’t want to taint that.”
Molly laughed again. “It’s okay, Auntie Liv. I pretty much already know they’re crazy.”
Olivia blinked at her in disbelief and then looked at Aaron.
Molly just shrugged. “I know I’m a kid, but come on, you guys. I have eyes and ears.”
Aaron cleared his throat. “That may be so, but you shouldn’t call them crazy. It isn’t nice.”
“What about nuts then? Like Auntie Liv said. Would that be nicer than crazy?”
Aaron laughed but tried to cover his mouth. Olivia tried too but was unable to hold it in.
“It’s okay, you guys are allowed to laugh,” Molly said. “Why do you still act like you’re going to get in trouble or something? They’re far away in Mexico; they can’t hear you. And you’re adults now so it shouldn’t matter anyway. My gosh, live a little.”
“Where is this coming from?” Olivia asked. “Has she ever talked about them like this in front of you?” she asked Aaron.
He shook his head, still trying to control his laughter.
“Really, you guys?” she asked. “I’ve always known they’re nuts. It’s kind of hard to miss how uptight they are. I just never said anything because I didn’t think I should. No one says anything in this family.” She took another bite and Olivia took her observation to heart. Things needed to change, especially for Molly. They should talk. The three of them. Like this, like now. And they should
do it more often.
Molly took a drink and looked to Olivia.
“After the way they acted when you left Kenny, I really knew they were crazy, then. I mean, I’m only eleven and I could see that he was a mean jerk. You had to leave, Auntie Liv. If a kid can see that, then there’s no excuse for them not to.”
Olivia stared at her for a long moment. “I love you, Molls. So very much.”
Molly smiled at her and took a bite of garlic bread. “I love you, too, Auntie Liv. And I for one, think you should do whatever it takes to be happy.”
Olivia smiled as her words reached her in a place Molly couldn’t see.
“I’m getting there, sweetie. I’m getting there.”
Chapter Fifteen
U-Fit was stuffy and loud, but far less crowded than usual for a Wednesday afternoon. Eve was grateful, hoping Olivia would feel comfortable amongst a smaller mass of muscle heads rather than the larger mass that often accumulated and clogged the modest gym. These people were her friends, but even she could see how someone could be intimidated by all the sweating and groaning and grunting.
“Hi.”
Eve turned and found Olivia looking a little nervous with a white-knuckle grip on the gym bag slung over her shoulder.
“Hi.” Eve stepped over the weight bench and took her bag. “I would ask how you are, but you look a little…”
“Freaked out?”
“Freaked out, really?” Eve encouraged her to sit and she joined her, straddling the bench to face her. “Nervous is okay, but freaked out worries me. Can you tell me why?”
Olivia stared ahead seemingly off in the distance somewhere. Eve couldn’t help but admire her perfect profile, which was more accentuated with her hair back in a tight ponytail. She didn’t seem to notice Eve’s entrancement and she rubbed her palms on her thighs while her legs bounced with nerves. Tight black shorts hugged her curves, and a sleeveless peach colored T-shirt hung loosely off her upper body. Her running shoes appeared to be new, and she had on a Fitbit which Eve assumed was new as well. She looked like any other gym rat, but her nervousness set her apart, and a few of Eve’s friends eyed her curiously as they walked by.
“Olivia?” Eve said softly, touching her arm.
“Yes? Oh.” She smiled, but it seemed to fall flat. “Everyone is so ripped. I feel ridiculous.” She plucked at her T-shirt while looking at it with contempt. “I stick out like a sore thumb.”
“No, actually, you don’t.”
“It’s so obvious I don’t work out, though. I’m—”
“Olivia, stop. No one is thinking anything bad, I promise you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know almost all of them and they are good people. And besides, they are body builders, they’re way too busy looking at themselves in the mirror to worry about you.”
Olivia laughed.
“So, try and relax, okay? We all have the same mission in mind. We want to better ourselves.”
Eve stood and patted her shoulder. “Now, let’s get you warmed up on the treadmill.”
Olivia followed her, and after ten minutes of brisk walking, Eve led her back into one of the smaller weight rooms, showed her how to stretch, and then gave her a pair of eight-pound dumbbells. She eased her into the proper stance, told her to watch herself in the mirror, and then had her begin arm curls.
“How does that feel?”
“Fine.” She was pumping her arms quickly. “Doesn’t really feel like I’m lifting anything, though.”
Eve grabbed a pair of ten-pound dumbbells and had her switch out.
“Try these.”
Olivia started again and did the same thing.
“Try to slow down a bit.”
Olivia did, but Eve could tell nothing had changed.
“You should be feeling the weight. It should be getting more difficult.”
Olivia finished a set of twelve.
“I’m not feeling anything.”
“Okay.” Eve knew Olivia looked strong, but now she was seeing firsthand just how strong she really was. She grabbed the twelve-pound weights and handed them over.
Olivia took them and started again.
“Better?” Eve asked.
Olivia nodded. “Yes. I can feel it some now.”
Thank God. She didn’t want to go any higher, not on the first damn day. She didn’t want her to be overly sore. She watched her closely and recalled that there had only been a few other women she’d worked with who’d had the strength to begin with a higher weight. One of them was herself.
Olivia finished three sets of twelve and only began to fatigue near the very end of the third set. She was, indeed, very strong.
Eve took the weights from her and Olivia massaged her biceps.
“Is it supposed to burn like that?”
“Yes.”
“Good to know I’m not a freak or anything.”
Eve laughed. “No, you’re just like everyone else, I’m afraid.” She had her sit on a bench and brought her the ten-pound weights again. She sat next to her and showed her how to rest her elbow on her inner thigh to do isolated bicep curls. Olivia began and Eve watched, curious to see if she was now too fatigued to continue with the twelve-pound dumbbells. She got her answer when Olivia once again lifted the ten-pound weights like they were nothing.
“I can kind of feel it,” Olivia said. “But not a lot.”
“Jesus,” Eve said aloud this time. She went back for the twelve-pounders and traded them out.
“Something wrong?” Olivia asked. She began to lift again as they talked.
“No, not at all. You’re just really strong. Especially for someone who has never lifted before.”
“Is that bad?”
“Why in the world would that be bad?”
“I don’t know. Women aren’t exactly supposed to be strong, I guess. It’s not feminine.”
“Where in the hell did you hear that?”
Olivia looked at her like she was crazy. “That’s what I’ve always been told. Women should be petite and dainty. You know, really feminine. I’ve always been too tall, too big, too muscular.”
“Is that why you hate your body so much? Because someone has filled your head with crap like that?”
She shrugged.
Eve watched her quietly as she finished with the isolated bicep curls. Again, she didn’t fatigue until the very end of the final set.
Eve took the weights and had her stand for hammer curls. This time she didn’t bother to go back down in weight.
“I now know what our biggest challenge is going to be with you,” Eve said. “It’s not going to be anything physical. It’s going to be the way you think. We’re going to have to reset your brain, so to speak.”
Olivia pumped through two sets and then finally began to struggle on the third. Eve stood in front of her and spotted her. She talked her all the way through with Olivia crying out on the last two curls. Eve quickly took the weights and then massaged her arms.
“Wow, was that hard,” Olivia said, laughing with what sounded like disbelief. “My arms are shaking.”
“It’s normal. Nothing to worry about.” She smiled at her and tried to ignore how soft her skin was and how her thick muscle was trembling beneath her fingers. But when their eyes locked and they both seemed to realize that they were touching, Eve quickly stopped and moved on.
“How do you feel?”
“Good. It’s weird though. I feel like I’m feeling my biceps for the first time ever. Like I just got them or something. Like they’re this new part that’s been installed in my body, never used before.”
“I’ve never quite heard it put like that before,” Eve said, amused.
“But I’m still normal, right?” She laughed and Eve was glad to see her enjoying herself.
“Yes. You are still very human, Olivia. You don’t get your freak card yet.”
Eve led them to a pulley machine, set the weight to the level she’d started at, and pulled down
the hanging rope handle. The handle was split, like an upside-down V, one side for each hand with a wooden ball at the ends to keep the hands from slipping off.
“Now we’re going to do some tricep pulldowns,” Eve said. “Or some people call them tricep pushdowns, whichever you prefer. In case you’re a stickler for correct terms and such.”
Olivia laughed. “Yep, you got me.”
Eve demonstrated the exercise for her by getting in the proper stance. She reached up, gripped the two handles, and pulled down. When her arms were at a ninety-degree angle at her sides, she spoke to Olivia. “This is your starting position.” She then extended her arms down, until they were perpendicular to the floor, engaging her triceps. “Think you got it?
Olivia nodded and took Eve’s place.
“Okay, good.” Eve rested her hand on her lower back helping her with her stance. “Now lean your torso forward, just a bit more. Good. Leaning forward like this, instead of standing straight, engages all of your tricep, including the long head.”
“Sure. Okay. I’m obviously clueless.”
Olivia grabbed the rope handle and, as Eve had instructed, pulled downward to her starting position. Then she extended down.
“Good, now back up slowly to your starting position and then extend down again.”
Olivia continued.
“The tricep has three different bundles to it,” Eve explained. “The long head, medial head, and lateral head. Doing this exercise the old way, where you stand straight up, only works two of those. Whereas this position works all three.”
“I believe you, but I’m not feeing it. I think it needs to be heavier,” Olivia said.
“Do a few more for me.” Eve crossed her arms over her chest and watched in amazement. Olivia was breezing through the exercise quicker than she had the bicep curls. “Okay, hold up.” Eve adjusted the weight and backed away. “Try it now.”
