by Ronica Black
Her breathing began to slow, along with her heart rate as she sat back and relaxed. The overhead lights flickered to life, and thoughts of Eve drifted into her mind, where they, especially lately, seemed to have taken up residence. Thinking of Eve was second nature now and just as natural and involuntary as breathing in and out.
She wondered what she was doing right now. Was she home? Was she alone? Was she by any chance thinking of her?
She took another swallow of water and noticed the tight feel of the muscles in her arms. Just about every muscle in her body had been isolated and worked, leaving her keenly aware of each one. She was sore, some days more than others, but not overly so. Eve was being very careful in the way she was working her, making sure she didn’t over stress her body. Olivia was grateful, preferring not to feel like death warmed over every day.
She honestly hadn’t thought that Eve could train her in a way she enjoyed. She’d thought for sure she’d be in pain and agony and hating every second of it. But, to her sincere astonishment, she was actually liking everything Eve had her doing. And when she examined her bicep now and saw the bulge, she smiled, a little bit of pride breaking through. The shame and worry of looking too masculine was fading.
Things were definitely changing. Good things were definitely happening.
And Eve seemed to be the common denominator in almost all of it.
“Hey, you,” a familiar voice said from behind.
Startled, Olivia turned. She blinked in disbelief. Eve was standing there in the deep blueberry of twilight wearing a white, form fitting shirt and dark blue shorts. She seemed to radiate, even in the dim light, with her broad, beautiful smile and her surprisingly new blonder hair. Her skin, which was now deeply tanned, seemed to be shimmering and Olivia was so stirred she had the urge to graze her fingertips along her forearm, curious as to how it would feel.
Would she feel as soft and silky as she looked?
“Mind if I join you?”
“Please.” She scooted a bit and Eve sat and rested her arm across the back of the bench. She crossed her legs, which were, as always, well moisturized and so toned Olivia could see the individual muscles flex as she moved.
“I thought I might find you here,” she said. “You’d said you might try walking twice a day.”
Olivia forced herself to stop staring at her mouth even though she was almost certain that Eve had just applied lipstick. For a split second, she wondered if she’d done so for her.
“Did you need to see me?” Olivia asked, her eyes moving from her mouth, down her incredible body to her shoes. She wasn’t wearing socks, just a pair of white canvas Vans. There was a casualness to her look, but she was still chic and well put together. Olivia could see that her shirt was designer and the mid-rise cotton shorts she wore with a thick belt probably were as well. Everything about the way she looked at that moment turned Olivia on, and she realized she’d never seen her outside of their workouts before. It was no wonder her entire being was on fire. She was seeing the personal side of her. Eve in everyday life. Everything suddenly became so much more tangible.
“No,” Eve said slowly. “I was just in the neighborhood.”
“Oh?”
Eve chuckled and Olivia swore she heard nervousness in it.
“My mother lives two streets down. I was visiting her and thought I might swing by to see if you were here. I’m not bothering you, am I?”
“What? No, of course not.”
“You can tell me. I know you weren’t expecting to see me.”
“I’m surprised, yes. But pleasantly so.”
A light breeze teased Eve’s hair and carried her scent to Olivia.
“God, you smell—” Olivia stopped. “Sorry.”
“I smell?” Eve made a face. “The way you said it sounded like that sentence was going to end well, but now I’m not so sure.”
“I was going to say that you smell nice.”
“I smell nice.”
“Yes. Like you always do.” Olivia glanced away, embarrassed.
“Thank you,” Eve said after a short silence. She plucked at her shorts, but Olivia was pretty sure there was nothing there to pluck.
Could she be as anxious as I am?
They’d been doing great at keeping things professional and light-hearted. But Olivia was still struggling to control her attraction, and she honestly didn’t know how Eve didn’t seem to notice. Olivia caught herself staring at her every chance she got. Sometimes she wished she could just take her picture so she could look at her all she wanted whenever she wanted.
“You look like you’re somewhere far away,” Eve said. “You’re very cerebral, aren’t you? Probably a lot smarter than I even realize. I know you’re going for your degree, but I sense there’s more. You’re a bit of an egghead. Am I right?”
Olivia laughed. “I like to learn. Like to read.”
“Always?”
“Yes.”
“I thought as much.”
“What about you?” Olivia asked. “You’re obviously educated. You’re very articulate.”
“I did the whole university, live in a dorm, nearly starve to death thing up at NAU. I thought about going for my master’s, because, like you, I’ve always liked learning and liked school, but I got into fitness instead.”
“Do you think you’ll ever go back?”
“For my master’s? Possibly.”
“Would you go back to NAU?”
“Uh, probably not. I love Flagstaff and really loved my time there, once I got over freezing my ass off that first year, that is. But Phoenix is, well, Phoenix is home.”
They both grew quiet, and Olivia stared out into the park, lost in the sheen of silver the lights cast upon the grass.
“I know what you mean,” she eventually said. “I love it here.”
“I don’t get why people complain so much about the heat. It doesn’t matter to them that it’s dry; they still hate it. They say it’s like walking into an oven. Well, you know what? I hate humidity. That feels like walking into a swamp. Not to mention how it fucks up my hair and ruins my makeup.”
Olivia laughed. “I wouldn’t really know. I’ve never been that far outside of Phoenix. The only humidity I’ve ever felt is August during monsoon season.”
“Even that much bothers me,” Eve said. “But I’d take Phoenix over anywhere, I think. The good far outweighs the bad.”
“How so?” Olivia asked. “I mean, I know why I like it here. I want to hear why you do.”
“Oh, there are so many things.” She thought for a long moment. “I like the way the desert smells on a cool spring morning. And the way the endlessness of the big blue sky makes you feel so free. And of course, there’s the relentless sunshine, and the fact that I can look in almost any direction and see the majesty of one of those purple serrated mountains.”
“Mm, I feel the same.”
“What about you?”
“Oh, I like weird things.”
“Like?”
“Like the way a gallon of sun tea looks brewing in the sunlight. I used to sit and stare at that as a kid. It was so fascinating to me.”
“What else?”
“The chlorine smell of a pool, along with the smell of sunscreen. Both of those bring back good memories for me.” She laughed. “My brother hated it, but I liked how the pool felt like bath water by the time July rolled around. And how the deck got so impossibly hot we either had to sprint as fast as we could into the pool or splash the water all over the deck to try and make it bearable enough to walk on.”
“Which doesn’t always work,” Eve said.
“No, it doesn’t, does it?” She smiled to herself. “I love the monsoons. Love watching them move in. You know when the sky turns midnight blue and the lightning flashes and veins out in different directions. And I love how, when the storm closes in, the wind picks up and you can smell the dust and the rain. Like they’re mixed together. I don’t know. There’s just something about those storms t
hat makes me feel…alive.”
“Those things aren’t weird, Olivia.”
“Oh, they are.”
“You’re just perceptive. I think you notice things others don’t.”
Olivia thought for a moment. “Okay, but this one is definitely weird. I love those first few seconds of sitting in a hot car after spending hours in frigid air conditioning.”
Eve laughed and clapped. “Yes! Oh, my God, I’ve never heard anyone say that before. It feels so good sometimes I don’t even want to start my car. I just want to sit there for a while.”
“It makes burning your hand on the door handle to get in so worth it, right?”
They both laughed and Olivia was really enjoying herself. Good, hearty laughter hadn’t exactly been a staple in her life.
“And don’t even get me started on Mexican food,” Olivia said. “I could go on about that for hours.”
“You and me both. Maybe one day we’ll get you to Mexico for some seriously authentic food. Get you to venture out of Phoenix some.”
“That sounds nice.”
Really nice. So nice I won’t sleep tonight thinking about being alone with you on a Mexican beach.
But that fantasy was quickly overshadowed with something else pertaining to Mexico.
“My parents live there,” Olivia said. She heard the sorrow in her voice as her words faded. “They retired there recently. Just outside of Rocky Point.”
“You don’t sound like you’re too happy about that. Do you miss them?”
“Oh, no, it’s not that. In fact, it’s sort of the opposite. I don’t really miss them at all.” It pained her to say it, but it was the truth.
“You aren’t close then?”
“We were a tight family when I was a kid. But in looking back, it wasn’t because we were connected or close. We were tight because my parents wanted total control and very little outside influence. And now, I’m realizing, I can’t really relate to them at all.” She stared off once again, contemplating. Eve remained quiet and Olivia could feel her watching her. She was giving her time, giving her space, graciously waiting to see if she wanted to share more. It was very considerate and exactly what she needed. “Sometimes I think who I was as an individual never mattered to them. All that mattered was what they believed and that I conformed to it.”
Olivia met her gaze. “They’re very religious.”
“I see.” There was a soft kindness to her face. “So much about you makes sense to me now.”
“Great,” Olivia said, joking. “I don’t think I want to know what you mean by that.”
“Nothing bad, silly. You’re…torn. It sounds like you’re questioning everything that you’ve ever known to be true. You’re making new discoveries. Even about yourself. Searching for your own truth. That can’t be easy.”
“One second, I feel free and excited and so full of passion I feel like I might burst. And then the next I feel so guilty and scared it sometimes hits me right in the gut. You know the funny thing is that dealing with the rigidness and deep-seated beliefs of my past isn’t nearly as overwhelming as dealing with my feelings toward you—” Olivia clamped her mouth closed. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You can tell me.”
“No, we have an agreement and I need to honor it.”
“Olivia—”
But Olivia stood, needing to put some distance between them.
“I should go.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong. Stay. Please.”
Olivia breathed deeply and her chest shook.
“I want to, Eve,” she said. “You don’t know how badly I want to.”
“I do, actually,” Eve said softly.
“That’s all the more reason why I should leave.”
“Look at me,” Eve said. “Olivia.”
Olivia did, and the way Eve looked against the backdrop of the night sky and under the soft glow of the tall lights left Olivia completely speechless and she couldn’t, no matter how hard she tried, tear her eyes away from her. She absolutely radiated.
“Please, don’t let this thing between you and me eat you up inside. Guilt of any sort does not belong in this equation.”
“What about fear?”
“Oh, Olivia.” She palmed her chest, as if Olivia’s words had penetrated. “Hearing you say that, and knowing you feel that way, it makes my heart ache. Are you sure you want to continue with this? With our working together? Are you sure it’s not too hard on you right now?”
“No, I’m not sure about any of that. But there is one thing I’m sure about.”
“What’s that?”
“I can’t stop seeing you.”
Eve didn’t move and she didn’t speak. She just stared right into Olivia’s eyes.
“Don’t make us stop,” Olivia said in a throaty voice. “I need to see you. I need you in my life. Even if it’s just to be near you. Please. Don’t take the most meaningful experience I’ve ever had away from me.”
Eve stepped toward her, but then stopped. She moved her mouth to speak but instead shook her head as if she were truly conflicted inside. Finally, she managed to say something.
“Okay.”
Olivia smiled, but it wasn’t big or bright or full of happiness. It was a smile of relief, of gratefulness.
“You have no idea how much being with you means to me,” Olivia said. She turned to walk away before she confessed anything more. “Good night.” She was already several steps away when she heard Eve answer.
“Good night, Olivia.”
Chapter Eighteen
“Okay,” Eve said as she led Olivia to one of the full-length mirrors at U-Fit. “This is the last exercise of the day.”
“Oh, thank God,” Olivia said. “You’re killing me today.”
She wiped her brow with her hand towel and tossed it on the bench. Sweat moistened her hairline, and a few strands of hair were stuck to her red face. She quickly tore off her tank top and tossed it on top of her towel, and Eve tried not to stare at her chest, which was also scarlet and glistening with sweat, or her abdomen, which had tightened nicely and was now hinting at the beginnings of definition.
The changes in her were becoming more and more noticeable, and Eve was rightfully and expectedly proud, but those weren’t the only things she was feeling. Every time she touched her or got to see more of her body, like now, she was overcome with lust and wanting. Which was why she was trying to avoid having to touch her, so she wouldn’t feel the hardening of her physique or the way her muscles moved beneath her fingers. And she hoped every day, that Olivia would wear a shirt over her sports bra, so she could remain focused on their workout. But when she didn’t or later took it off, Eve couldn’t help but secretly thank the stars above, because the sight of her was so fucking eye pleasing and arousing that her mouth would actually begin to water.
“I tried to warn you,” Eve said, “about wanting to kick my ass at some point.”
“Are you kidding? How can I do that when you just literally kicked mine? And here I was worried about plateauing,” she said.
“Oh, no. That won’t happen with me.” She grinned.
“Yeah, no shit. I got that loud and clear today. You could’ve at least warned me of your plans to switch things up, you know?”
“Why would I do that? You know you’d only worry and stress.”
“But I would’ve been prepared.”
“You are prepared. You’re more than ready for this next level. You just don’t feel like you are because these exercises are all new to you. You’ll adjust. Just like you did before.”
Eve looked at her and chuckled.
“Do you realize what you just did?” she asked her.
Olivia looked confused.
“You just cussed.”
Her eyes widened. “I did, didn’t I?”
“I haven’t heard you do that since the day you sprained your ankle on the mountain. I figured that had been just a strong response to the pain. I didn’t think th
e day would ever come when you cussed casually.”
“It kind of felt good,” she said.
“I bet it did. I couldn’t imagine not being able to say what I want. Or to hold back my true voice in reaction to something that moved me. Maybe you should do it more often. Let yourself go a little.”
“I remember the first time I took the Lord’s name in vain. It just slipped out. And I felt so awful and ashamed. But saying ‘Oh, my God’ isn’t tragic. It’s just an expression. So, maybe I should let myself go a little more.”
“Who knows? There may come a day when you sound a lot like a dirty old sailor, like me.” She gave her a playful shove.
“Don’t terrify me, now. I would like to keep some intelligent articulation in my wheelhouse.”
“Just for that, I’m going to make you do two more exercises.”
“What?”
“Yep. Come on, let’s go.” She stood next to her. “Stand with your feet shoulder-width apart.” Olivia did. “Now shift your weight to one leg and bend that knee a little. Okay, now bend forward at your hips and extend that free leg all the way back.” Olivia did so and she wavered a bit, struggling with her balance. Eve quickly supported her. “Now lower that leg and do it again, this time squeezing your glutes, legs, and abs.” Olivia did, and she lost her balance again and reached out. Eve grabbed her hand and forearm and stabilized her.
“I’m too unsteady.”
“I’ve got you.”
“Don’t let go.”
“I’m right here and I won’t let you go. I would never do that.” Eve cleared her throat after the fading of her voice, after the realization of what she’d just said settled in.
Olivia lowered her leg and looked over at her. Eve could see that the words had reached her some place deep as well. And though the deeper meaning was originally unintended, the connection that Eve felt with her as they locked eyes confirmed the significance of what that meaning represented now.
“Promise?” Olivia asked.
Eve swallowed. “I promise.”
After a long silence, Olivia readied herself again, refocusing on her position.
