Back to the Start (Dangerous Love Book 4)

by Elle Keating

  Jake had known that he would need to make sacrifices along the way, that if he was to achieve the unimaginable, his dedication and devotion to the game could not waver. He just hadn’t planned on Morgan being one of those sacrifices.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Morgan

  She was losing her shit. Right there in Jake’s kitchen, surrounded by his family, Morgan felt the walls closing in. She had made it through dinner somehow and even survived the cleanup, but now that the dishes were done and put away and the night was winding down, Morgan struggled to breathe and not spend every second looking at Jake.

  Aunt Lu and Pop were the first to leave. Although Jake had offered for them to stay at his place for the night and avoid the hour-long drive back to Jersey, Pop told them that he wanted to get an early start on the week ahead. Morgan was happy to see Pop so alive when he spoke of his work at the winery. Everyone, including Pop himself, had thought that the only thing he would ever be was a police officer. But here he was, a man in his sixties, proving everyone wrong.

  Morgan was seconds away from what she perceived to be a panic attack. Her heart pounded in her chest. Jake was in mid-conversation with Carina and Josh, the last of Jake’s guests, when Morgan couldn’t take it anymore. She drifted away from the group and found a powder room at the end of the hallway. Once inside, she took a look at herself in the mirror and wondered why Carina, her best friend in the entire world, hadn’t given it to her straight tonight. It wasn’t like her makeup had run or that she had grown a unibrow within the last several hours, but that she appeared frazzled. Morgan leaned over the sink and bowed her head. She couldn’t get that visual of Jake talking to that woman out of her head. She had no right to be jealous of any woman, not anymore. Jake didn’t belong to her. But fuck if it didn’t hurt like hell watching the man she had loved since forever be propositioned by another woman.

  Morgan turned on the water and washed her face. Her hands trembled as she splashed the frigid water against her skin. She needed to pull herself together. There were too many emotions at play. She still wanted him, more than anything in the world, but she didn’t know where he stood. He was so angry. Would he want to continue the conversation he’d started in the nook? Would he probe her, wear her down until she finally fessed up and told him why she had really broken up with him? What would he do if he learned the truth?

  Morgan patted down her face with a towel from the rack and stepped out into the hallway. She was about to head to the kitchen when she smelled his signature scent coming from a bedroom across the hall. Morgan debated with herself for a few seconds, but her curiosity won out. And it didn’t hurt that she had heard Carina laugh from the direction of the kitchen, which meant Jake was occupied at the moment.

  Morgan let herself into what she quickly learned was Jake’s bedroom and not a guest room. His clothes filled the walk-in closet and personal items, such as his watch and reading glasses, could be found on his nightstand. But her eyes wandered to the item next to the glasses. It was a small five-by-seven frame, but it was facedown. Morgan looked behind her to ensure that she was alone and hadn’t been caught snooping and picked up the picture frame.

  Her fingers started to shake again as she traced the lines of the little boy’s profile. It was then she felt his presence behind her. “Who took this photo?” she asked. Morgan didn’t turn around. She stared at the two kids, at their hands, at the unconditional love this girl had for the boy next door.

  “My mom.”

  Morgan heard him draw closer.

  The tears came almost immediately when she realized that not only had he kept this photo, but he displayed it next to his bed. Jake took the photo from her hand and placed it back on the nightstand. Morgan turned away from him and started to walk toward the door. “Carina and Josh are waiting for us. We better get… ”

  “They left, Morgan.”

  Morgan stopped and stood there, her back to him, with her fucking heart on her sleeve. Her body ached for him and she didn’t have the strength to hide it anymore. A tear weaved its way down her cheek, but she didn’t curtail its descent. Instead, she let it flow and she whipped around and faced him.

  “You said you wanted to be friends.” His tone wasn’t sarcastic or cruel, but gruff and needy. “Now tell me what you need.”

  His words melted her, and she felt the last of her resistance drain from her body. “You,” Morgan whispered. She watched her admission take hold of him. His jaw clenched and his breathing became labored. The intensity of his gaze made her wet with desire and she silently begged him to take what had always been his.

  “Be certain, Morgan. Because I won’t be able to stop once I taste you again.”

  She bit her lip at the desperation in his voice. He needed assurance and she was more than willing to give it to him. Morgan slipped off her sneakers and socks. Her Eagles hoodie and the white t-shirt beneath were next. His eyes didn’t drift to her breasts but remained on her eyes. The lust she saw there, that restless need, was her undoing. She had just undone the button on her jeans when Jake closed the distance between them. He took her face in his hands and smashed his lips against hers. She was struggling for breath when he gave her his.

  He tasted exactly like she remembered. But his body, everything from his ripped abs to his muscular torso, had changed. The last time they were together he had been on the cusp of being the man she knew he would become, the man who was claiming her right now. Needing to feel him against her heated skin, she removed his shirt and pressed her taut nipples against his rock-hard chest as he continued to devour her mouth. Unlike their first time, there was nothing gentle about this encounter. He wasn’t concerned that he would hurt her… he just took. And that was exactly what Morgan needed. Jake undid her bra and she felt it glide down her back and onto the floor. She was just in her jeans and soaked white panties, but there were still too many layers of clothing between them.

  He must have read her mind because she suddenly felt his hand at her hip. The sound of her zipper being lowered was the most erotic thing she had ever heard. With a slight shake of her hips her jeans slid down to the floor, and she stepped out of them. He released her mouth and backed away from her. His chest was heaving and though she could have stared at it for all eternity, it was the bulge in his pants she couldn’t take her eyes off.

  “Fuck, you’re beautiful,” he said, his voice almost reverent.

  She looped her thumbs under the thin straps of her white thong panties and slowly slid them off. Her well-trimmed mound glistened with moisture and from the look on his face he was pleased at the sight. He lifted her into his arms and walked her over to the bed. Though he laid her down gently, his actions afterward were quick, almost frantic. He undid his jeans, yanked his boxer briefs down and pulled out his engorged cock. He was bigger now, in both length and width, and she wondered if she was going to be able to take all of him.

  Again, he seemed to hear her thoughts and said, “Your body will remember.” He lowered his body on top of hers and in one smooth motion he buried himself inside her. She cried out, not in pain, which was somewhat of a surprise since she hadn’t been with anyone since Owen, but with pure pleasure. She raised her hips to meet him, to feel all of him as he stretched her, filled her. She closed her eyes as she felt her climax mount.

  “No. Look at me. I want to see your eyes as you come around me.” Jake continued to pound into her as she obeyed his command. “I’ve waited eight years to have you again.”

  He pulled out to the tip and slammed back in. “Fuck!” His voice was a guttural rasp in the crook of her neck, and she locked her ankles around him. She felt his cock jerk inside her and then incredible heat. His warmth and the thought that she was the cause of his staggered pants, his groans, the release that was flooding her slick channel, triggered her own powerful orgasm and she screamed his name. She was just coming down from the last earthshattering wave when he leaned in and kissed her. He was still inside her, rocking into her, but slowly now. His k
isses were different than before, not urgent, but gentle and reminiscent of the first time they were together. He closed his eyes and made love to her mouth.

  There was so much she wanted to say to him. I’m sorry. I love you. I’ve always only loved you. I’m sorry. But she didn’t want to ruin the moment and she kissed him back with eight years’ worth of pent-up passion instead. He hardened inside her and she felt the thrust of his hips quicken in response. But this time he remained completely in control. That untamed lust she had seen in his eyes minutes ago was gone. His kiss deepened. There was not a spot within her that his thick crown did not touch and caress.

  She was so close and just when she was about to explode, he pulled away. His cock was laying against the lips of her sex when she looked up at him, panting and confused as hell. “This is mine,” he whispered. He slid back into her… hard. “This has always been mine.” Again he pulled out. Her back arched as she waited in agony for him to impale her once more. “And no one will take what’s mine ever again.” He rammed into her with so much force that he lifted her off the bed.

  He didn’t take his eyes from her and she didn’t dare look away. The boy she had loved had most definitely become a man. He had always been possessive of her, even when they were kids, but this domineering side of him was not something she had experienced before and she shuddered at the thought of this newfound discovery. He was so fucking sexy.

  “Come for me, Morgan.”

  She heard the words, but it was the tone in which he had said them that made her body quake beneath him and she begged for him to join her. His hips lunged forward, and he emptied himself inside her until he had nothing left. She swallowed his ragged breaths and the expletives that spewed from his lips and kissed him tenderly. He eventually collapsed onto her breasts and she held him until he drifted off.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Jake

  He had been a fool.

  Jake stared at the picture on the mantle and fought like hell not to take it and slam it to the ground. Yeah, his dream was in reach, with the pro scouts hounding him as he entered his junior year in college, which was exactly what he had hoped for, but he had paid a hefty price. The girl looking back at him in the photo smiled as her prom date curved his arm around her waist. Carina and her date stood next to Morgan and whatsafuck. Jarod? Gerard? Who the fuck cared? All he knew was that the guy standing next to Morgan in that picture was not him and that drove him insane.

  He shouldn’t have come. He knew it wasn’t a good idea when his mom had asked him to come home to see his sister before she left for college. Not that he didn’t want to see Carina or anything, but his mom probably had invited Morgan too, as she was likely leaving for college as well.

  But he had given in to appease his mom, and he found himself regretting his decision the moment he had stepped through his parents’ door. He had entered the kitchen and found Carina chopping vegetables at the island alongside his dad. He had given his old man a hug and then stole a slice of pepper from Carina’s cutting board. She had given him an elbow to the ribs, which only prompted him to swipe a second right from under her nose. His mom had arrived next and greeted him with two months’ worth of hugs. He hadn’t been home in almost a year, but his mom and dad had visited him as much as they could. Between football and his studies, he was never able to get away. His focus had to be on football, not the girl he had left behind, the girl who was standing behind him.

  “Hi, Jake.”

  Morgan didn’t make a sound when she entered the room, but he knew she was there. Jake took one last look at the prom picture as his motivation to keep his mind focused on his goal and faced her.

  Holy fuck!

  This was not the girl he remembered from his childhood. The prom picture he had been glaring at just seconds ago didn’t do her justice. The first thing he noticed was her breasts. Though she wasn’t wearing anything too snug or low-cut, he couldn’t get over how fucking beautiful they were pressed against her fitted t-shirt. His eyes drifted to her legs and he almost lost it. Gone were those scabby, knobby knees he remembered, replaced with a set of long, tanned legs that he couldn’t help picture wrapped around him as he slammed into her. This was not a girl, but a woman, the woman he had denied over and over again growing up.

  Jake’s mind instantly went to a dark place and he wondered if she had given herself to the guy in the prom picture. Did the fucker touch her? Kiss her? Take those nipples, which were currently piercing her shirt, into his mouth and suck on them until she screamed? Was she still a virgin? Jake shook those noxious images from his brain and tried like hell to sound casual when he reciprocated the greeting.

  “It’s been a long time,” she said, folding her arms across her breasts.

  They hadn’t had a real conversation since the night his dad had been shot. Jake had cut her out of his life in order to keep his mind on the goals he had set for himself. He knew it had been drastic, but it was completely necessary. Although she had walked the halls of his high school during his junior and senior years, he had kept his focus on football and not on the comments his teammates had made from time to time about how they would have loved to bang her. Fortunately, she too had set her sights on a sports scholarship and not on guys. He had never seen her with any particular guy or heard about her dating someone, which was for the best. He would have reneged on the promise he had made to himself for sure if he had caught wind of her screwing around.

  But there had been nights, many actually, when he had gotten close to his breaking point. He remembered one specific night, and his cock hardened instantly. It was the night before he left for his freshman year of college. He had just finished packing the last of his things when he remembered that he’d forgotten his electric razor in his sister’s bathroom that morning. A pipe had burst the day before in his own bathroom and he was forced to use his sister’s. Carina had gone shopping with his mom so he walked into her room and then her bathroom without another thought… and nearly had a fucking heart attack.

  Morgan had stood there, her skin saturated with beads of water from her recent shower and preparing to dry off with the towel in her hand. He didn’t spin around and apologize for the intrusion like he should have. Nope. He had watched her leisurely wrap the towel around her sixteen-year-old body. She knew what she was doing to him. Her smug smile, the way she had slowly covered up her breasts and her beautiful blonde curls down south told him that she was glad that he had walked in on her. “Carina said I could use her shower since my mom is running behind on the water bill this month. But it’s all yours now.”

  He didn’t wait for the next morning to leave for college. He took an earlier bus and left that night out of fear that he would try to claim the one girl he could never have.

  “It has been a long time,” he said, fighting with all his might to keep his eyes above her neck. She smiled and then disappeared into the kitchen.

  Dinner was almost a disaster. On two separate occasions, his mom stirred him from his scandalous thoughts by asking him the same question multiple times. Morgan spent dinner ignoring him, which was maddening and atypical of her. Growing up, she had never hidden from him and he would frequently catch her staring at him, often openly in front of others.

  Jake watched her engage in a conversation with Carina and his dad. His mom and his brothers chimed in as well. Morgan laughed at one of Brennan’s off-color jokes and that was when something inside of him snapped. Luckily, dinner was almost over and most of their plates were clear. He forced a smile in his mom’s direction and said, “I’ll clean up.” He started to stack the plates when he saw Morgan clearing the table as well.

  “Thanks, honey. That would be a big help. Carina, Dad and I have some last-minute shopping to do before Carina leaves for school tomorrow. Do you need anything while we’re out? Toiletries? Some new sheets?” his mom asked.

  His mom was being incredibly sweet, but he couldn’t be around anyone right now, not even her. “No, I’m good,” he said, escaping
into the kitchen.

  “How about you, Morgan? Want to come with us?”

  From the other room he heard Morgan tell his mom, “Thanks, but I need to get going and finish packing. My mom should be home from work in a few hours and I want to have all that taken care of so I can spend some time with her and not my suitcase.”

  His brothers made themselves scarce once they cleaned up after themselves. His parents and Carina left a few minutes later. Morgan walked into the kitchen and started to load the dishwasher. He was wiping down the island when he looked up and witnessed her bending over to fill the dishwasher slot with soap.

  Christ!

  This is what he had given up? This was the girl he had sworn off because in his crazy, warped mind he had thought she was too young for him? He remembered how she tasted when she had kissed him in her bedroom that night, how she had put herself out there and risked it all. And what did he do in return? He had rejected her and made her cry.

  Again, his mind circled back to that prom picture and he heard himself ask, “So are you dating that guy?”

  Morgan was adjusting the setting on the dishwasher when she answered, “What guy?”

  She didn’t look at him. Instead she kept her eyes on the dishwasher buttons, like she had no interest in what he had just asked her. Her indifference infuriated him, and he stopped what he was doing and approached her. “The asshat you took to the prom.”

  Morgan finally looked at him. She didn’t smile. In fact, she showed no emotion. Who was this girl? The Morgan from his childhood was incapable of hiding her feelings, at least to him. The Morgan he had known had told him several hundred times that she was going to marry him one day, that he was hers. The Morgan he had known loved him. She may never had told him in those words, but he had felt it every time she had helped him with his homework, every time he had looked across the recess yard and caught her staring at him.