Sybille Bedford
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“beautiful Germanness”: Clive Bell to Virginia Woolf 6.3.28 Virginia Woolf King’s/PP/CHA, King’s College, Cambridge.
“Pourquoi pas de ne répondre”: Lisa Marchesani to Clive Bell 14.3.28 King’s/PP/CHA, King’s College, Cambridge.
“got hold of everything”: Jigsaw p. 101.
“And so began”: ibid.
“whose horizons embraced France”: ibid. p. 168.
“I was hooked for life”: Quicksands p. 238.
“Everything captivated”: Jigsaw p. 101.
“From May to October”: ibid. p. 149.
“ ‘Have I changed?’ ”: ibid. p. 90.
“salt water, rock pools”: ibid. p. 92.
“had tried to laugh”: ibid. p. 106.
“a mother and her daughter”: ibid. p. 150.
“[I did have] a slight stammer”: ibid. p. 116.
“great handsome monster”: A Compass Error p. 36.
“[with] large prominent blue eyes”: Jigsaw p. 153.
“[and] a smile”: Compass Error p. 36.
“would go out on the dawn sea”: Jigsaw p. 190.
“Si on est ami”: ibid. p. 157.
“in a manner compounded”: Compass Error p. 47.
“The screen was bad”: Jigsaw p. 117.
“They were slim”: ibid.
“I was car-mad”: Quicksands p. 43.
“I snatched at the chance”: ibid. p. 41.
“je suis fier”: Pierre Mimerel to SB 2.12.58 SB archive HRC.
“daily life was animated”: Quicksands p. 71.
“her springboard was triviality”: Jigsaw p. 319.
“In the mornings I would hang about”: ibid. p. 216.
“I knew I was being teased”: ibid. p. 212.
“I still see him”: ibid. p. 164.
“Without being really selfish”: ibid. p. 165.
“serving—in different ranks”: ibid.
“He touched my shoulder”: ibid. p. 118.
“We all danced”: ibid. p. 200.
“Levantine pirates”: ibid.
“We got out of our clothes”: ibid. p. 205.
“[He] was very sure of himself”: ibid. p. 208.
“There ensued, at once”: ibid. p. 206.
“ochre-washed, one-storeyed”: ibid. p. 147.
“ ‘May I tell you something?’ ”: ibid. p. 211.
“jumped onto the running board”: ibid. p. 231.
“Arrived at Les Cyprès”: ibid. p. 232.
“As I walked back”: ibid. p. 234.
“You are not afflicted”: ibid. p. 235.
“j’ai beaucoup de regrets”: Jacqueline Mimerel to SB 6.3.71 SB archive HRC.
“Tu n’as, je crois”: Jacqueline Mimerel to SB 15.0.77 SB archive HRC.
“In terms of pain”: SB diaries 16.4.81 SB archive HRC.
FOUR: THE DELIGHTS AND DANGERS OF SANARY-SUR-MER
“[I had] come to feel”: Jigsaw p. 167.
“She was too beautiful”: Desert Island Discs BBC radio 10.7.98.
“gaunt as a starving horse”: Jigsaw p. 197.
“wonderful feeling”: ibid. p. 272.
“You had better learn”: ibid.
“I was not prepared”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 232.
“sitting on a red-tiled floor”: Quicksands p. 249.
“going on with what she had been saying”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 234.
“The Huxleys took me on”: Desert Island Discs BBC radio 10.7.98.
“culture-saturated purr”: “With Aldous Huxley” by Robert Craft Encounter November 1965.
“seemed to stretch for miles”: Aldous Huxley: An English Intellectual by Nicholas Murray (Abacus,, 2003) p. 92.
“into an inaccessible inner shell”: Quicksands p. 288.
“Nature has erected”: Robert Nicholls to Henry Head 28.2.30 Robert Nicholls archive HRC.
“offering gossip, pouring out our troubles”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 230.
“was very outspoken”: ibid. p. 238.
“était toujours heureuse”: “Mémoires de Suzanne Nicolas” Archives et Musée de la Littérature, Bibliothéque Royale de Bruxelles.
“the hilarious Huxley picnics”: Jigsaw p. 277.
“We were ignorant of all”: Quicksands p. 258.
“Eating your dinner with your fingers”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 262.
“He was nice to me”: review by SB of Cyril Connolly: Journal & Memoir by David Pryce-Jones Vogue August 1983.
“spinsterish and in his little brown way”: Devoid of Shyness by Alan Pryce-Jones (Stone Trough Books,, 2015) p. 181.
“I disliked this very superior”: Minding My Own Business by Percy Muir (Chatto & Windus,, 1956) p. 53.
“It was bad enough”: ibid. p. 54.
“a formidable lady”: Aldous Huxley to Ottoline Morell 18.12.30, Aldous Huxley archive HRC.
“Never shall I forget the sight”: Aldous Huxley 1894–1963: A Memorial Volume ed. Julian Huxley (Chatto & Windus,, 1965) p. 142.
“A number of disagreeable”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 261.
“Sanary,” Aldous wrote: Letters of Aldous Huxley, ed. Grover Smith (Chatto & Windus,, 1969) p. 365.
“a very strange man indeed”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 261.
“A young German girl”: The Strange World of Willie Seabrook by Marjorie Worthington (Harcourt,, 1966) p. 160.
“hearty, sense of humour”: Margery Worthington diary University of Oregon Special Archives.
“Ilsa von Stembeck, a young German girl”: Come, My Coach! by Marjorie Worthington (Knopf,, 1935) p. 18.
“her sun prince”: Quicksands p. 226.
“the audience alight”: Jigsaw p. 289.
“the staggery walk”: ibid. p. 283.
“to find yet another pharmacy”: Quicksands p. 265.
“There was no intention”: ibid. p. 266.
“I did feel pity”: ibid. p. 265.
“was brutal”: ibid. 269.
“etched with a tragic”: Jigsaw p. 192.
“I doubt that Aldous”: Eva Herrmann to SB 21.7.56 SB archive HRC.
“He would have grudged the time”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 295.
“In a subtle way”: ibid. p. 140.
“It was a measure”: ibid. p. 295.
“her feminine appearance”: On the Way to Myself by Charlotte Wolff (Methuen,, 1969) p. 73.
“I recall delicious softness”: Maria Huxley to SB 15.1.45 SB archive HRC.
“graceful indolence”: Eyeless in Gaza by Aldous Huxley (Flamingo,, 1994) p. 290.
“The first half of the flight”: ibid. p. 113.
“with a lovely, secret Etruscan face”: A Visit to Don Otavio (Eland, 2002) p. 84.
“Our friendship is for life”: Chronology Aliette Martin archive.
“I kissed her hand”: Quicksands p. 283.
“a life enhancer”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 258.
“gay and giggly”: ibid.
“Swarmed upon by actual living Germans”: Quicksands p. 287.
“Rather a dismal crew”: ibid. p. 288.
“Swarms of literary Germans”: Aldous Huxley: An English Intellectual by Nicholas Murray p. 260.
“one behaved with dignity”: Quicksands p. 288.
“Maria remained distant”: ibid. p. 289.
“One evening we went to have a look”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 255.
“It was a mixed up and foreboding time”: Quicksands p. 274.
“I found bureaucracy”: ibid.
“My German beginnings”: Jigsaw p. 81.
“I never felt I had the Germa
n identity”: Oldie August 1997 p. 28.
“eine deutsche Halbjüdin”: Mein Zwanzigstes Jahrhundert by Ludwig Marcuse (Paul List Verlag, 1960) p. 198.
“much as I was inclined to admire”: Jigsaw p. 246.
“So much siesta”: SB diaries 26.2.77 SB archive HRC.
“la journée passé vite”: SB diaries 13.7.32 SB archive HRC.
“a horrid house”: SB to Evelyn Gendel 19.8.53 SB archive HRC.
“Anger that ill becomes our kind”: New Bats in Old Belfries: Some Loose Tiles by Maurice Bowra (Robert Dugdale, 2005) p. 65.
“Yes. I had one very serious attachment”: Independent on Sunday 23.5.04.
“a gregarious and gossipy world”: The Turning Point by Klaus Mann (Oswald Wolff, 1984) p. 214.
“A galaxy indeed”: Quicksands p. 279.
“ich finde in diesem Kulturgebiet”: Tagebücher 1933–1934 by Thomas Mann (S. Fischer, 1977) p. 81.
“I find everything in this cultural milieu”: Thomas Mann Diaries 1918–1939 selection by Hermann Kesten, translated by Richard and Clara Watson (Henry N. Abrams, 1982) p. 59.
“poor Tommy”: Paris Review no. 126 p. 237.
“a sporadic camaraderie”: Quicksands p. 291.
“I never knew anybody”: SB to Allanah Harper 28.5.49 SB archive HRC.
“like M. de Charlus”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 277.
“making the round”: ibid.
“What struck the Huxleys”: ibid.
“Je n’ai jamais lu”: German Writers in French Exile 1933—1940 by Martin Mauthner (Valentine Mitchell, 2007) p. 167.
“long, sometimes”: Jigsaw p. 325.
“not a Giorgione any longer”: ibid. p. 339.
“with quick resource”: ibid. p. 333.
“When [Nori] came in”: ibid. p. 334.
“Hennaed to an impossible orange”: Eyeless in Gaza by Aldous Huxley p. 285.
“I hadn’t known that AH”: Anna Bernhardt to SB 3.10.36 SB archive HRC.
“the kind of sailors’ clothes I liked”: Quicksands p. 271.
“à deux under the night sky”: Jigsaw p. 342.
“with perhaps worse to follow”: Quicksands p. 271.
“an exhilarating and happy time”: ibid. p. 308.
“evenings of ease”: ibid.
“Lisa is the hole”: Anna Bernhardt to SB 26.2.34 SB archive HRC.
“Look after her”: Quicksands p. 273.
“juvenile in concept”: ibid. p. 305.
“Huxley’s vor ein paar Monaten”: Die Sammlung 1934 (Rogner und Bernhard) pp. 486, 488.
“I merely wanted”: Quicksands p. 304.
“That money…the capital”: ibid. p. 306.
FIVE: SAILING INTO THE UNKNOWN
“I prefer Berlin”: Anna Bernhardt to SB 16.9.36 SB archive HRC.
“Lisa n’a jamais supporté”: Anna Bernhardt to Maria Huxley 11.11.35 SB archive HRC.
“I am worried and out of sorts”: SB to Toni Muir 7.8.34 SB archive HRC.
“If this statement is agreed”: Anna Bernhardt to SB 3.8.34 SB archive HRC.
“I thought of Lisa”: SB to Evelyn Gendel 26.2.55 Aliette Martin.
“The last I saw of my mother”: Quicksands 275.
“Don’t tell lies”: ibid. p. 86.
“My sister, ferociously disgusted”: ibid. p. 275.
“[I] could not love her”: ibid. p. 313.
“inner withdrawal”: SB to Allanah Harper 10.11.89 Allanah Harper archive HRC.
“If she was against”: Quicksands p. 313.
“a ruthless social butterfly”: ibid. p. 312.
“Pierre never looked back”: ibid. p. 90.
“Il m’a forcé à prendre”: SB to Evelyn Gendel 7.9.55 SB archive HRC.
“To my astonishment”: Jigsaw p. 314.
“I became for her”: Quicksands p. 317.
“ta mère est une morphiniste”: Jigsaw p. 318.
“He is so intelligent”: SB to Toni Muir 22.8.34 SB archive HRC.
“un personnage fascinant”: “Mémoires de Suzanne Nicolas” Archives et Musée de la Littérature, Bibliothèque Royale de Bruxelles.
“eine grosser Snob”: Mein Zwanzigstes Jahrhundert by Ludwig Marcuse (Paul List Verlag, 1960) p. 197.
“We had a picnic party”: SB to Toni Muir 7.8.34 SB archive HRC.
“Doris Grey, a pretty American girl”: Come, My Coach! by Marjorie Worthington p. 18.
“I am really working at present”: SB to Toni Muir 31.10.34 SB archive HRC.
“Ernstlich…don’t you know”: SB to Toni Muir 7.8.34 ibid.
“a nice marriage”: Anna Bernhardt to SB 30.7.34 ibid.
“Albany was both rather wonderful”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 290.
“I sit before my hostile typewriter”: SB to Allanah Harper 9.7.58 Allanah Harper archive HRC.
“Auguri, we shouted”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 287.
“Lisa looks frightfully old”: Anna Bernhardt to SB 27.5.35 SB archive HRC.
“she is awfully fat”: ibid. 30.6.35.
“I can’t get along with her!”: ibid. 30.4.35.
“The Court has decided against him”: ibid. 30.6.35.
“is a white lamb”: ibid. 22.7.35.
“the locals were prolific”: Quicksands p. 322.
“We must get one of our bugger friends”: ibid. p. 324.
“German friend”: Aldous Huxley to Sebastian Sprott 22.8.35 Walter John Herbert Sprott papers GBR/0272/PP/WJHS King’s College, Cambridge.
“on the handsome side”: Quicksands p. 327.
“He was in the room within seconds”: ibid. p. 329.
“So you have been living”: ibid.
“It was stamped with a Deportation Order”: ibid. p. 333.
“Some hours later”: ibid. p. 335.
“half a dozen showgirls”: ibid. p. 337.
“came up to me”: ibid.
“musty brown paper”: ibid. p. 306.
“they returned it”: ibid. p. 339.
“national shame”: SB diaries 1.6.85 SB archive HRC.
“I never felt I had the German identity”: Oldie August 1997 p. 28.
“I felt nothing very much”: Jigsaw p. 89.
“The thing about Paris for me”: SB to Martha Gellhorn 4.4.53 Martha Gellhorn archive HGARC.
“was invariably polite”: review by SB of The Very Rich Hours of Adrienne Monnier translated by Richard McDougall New York Review of Books 5.8.76.
“It was a bad, empty novel”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 326.
“I had read too much”: Quicksands p. 7.
“rightly so but to my desolation”: Jigsaw p. 314.
“quite pointless to stay”: Aldous Huxley by Nicholas Murray p. 301.
“an insufferable Jew”: Anna Bernhardt to SB 1.1.36 SB archive HRC.
“I had a row”: ibid. 14.12.35.
“Today my room is so cold”: ibid. 25.4.36.
“Tomorrow week is Xmas Eve”: ibid. 14.12.35.
“it will take a long time”: ibid. 9.6.36.
“Your mother is now immensely pitoyable”: ibid. 20.12.36.
“immensely sorry about our poor Lisa”: ibid. 7.2.37.
“She taught me everything”: Oldie August 1997.
“When the bell rang”: Aldous Huxley Vol. 1 p. 341.
“The idea was”: Quicksands p. 314.
“The fee for a private lesson”: ibid. p. 315.
“Maria Huxley once asked me”: Hindsight by Charlotte Wolff (Quartet, 1980), p. 157.
“two people affected in different ways”: ibid.
“With humble gratitude”: Brian Howard to SB, and Eva Herr
mann undated 1937 SB archive HRC.
“where one could dance”: Quicksands p. 343.
“Within seconds a general fight”: ibid. p. 345.
“We, Brian, Eddy”: ibid. p. 346.
“German haute culture”: ibid. p. 347.
“in a tight drainpipe trouser suit”: ibid.
“anxious to show”: Eva Herrmann to SB 21.7.56 SB archive HRC.
“It makes me rather nervous”: Brian Howard: Portrait of a Failure ed. Marie-Jacqueline Lancaster (Anthony Blond, 1968).
“Brian was wrong”: The Turning Point p. 309.
“[Je veux] que la maison”: Maria Huxley to Jeanne Neveux 27.5.38 Nys-Huxley archive Bibliothèque Royale de Bruxelles.
“You probably know”: Maria Huxley to Eddy Sackville-West 30.6.38 SB archive HRC.
“volunteer work for a group”: Quicksands p. 350.
“Je vais parler à des amis”: Maria Huxley to Jeanne Neveux 5.10.38 Nys-Huxley archive Bibliothèque Royale de Bruxelles.
“well read and amusing”: Cecil Beaton by Hugo Vickers (Weidenfeld & Nicolson, 1985) p. 58.
“at some quiescent hour”: Quicksands p. 260.
“très grasse mais contente”: Maria Huxley to Jeanne Neveux 1.7.39 Nys-Huxley archive Bibliothèque Royale de Bruxelles.
“Je suis vraiment plutôt découragée”: Maria Huxley to Jeanne Neveux 27.3.39 Nys-Huxley archive Bibliothèque Royale de Bruxelles.
“We had deep snow then”: Eda Lord to Jimmy & Tania Stern 7.1.40 James Stern archive British Library.
“aimerait venir ici”: Maria Huxley to Jeanne Neveux 30.10.39 Nys-Huxley archive Bibliothèque Royale de Bruxelles.
“where Allanah and I”: SB to Toni Muir 9.9.49 SB archive HRC.
SIX: “A NEW EXOTIC OPULENT WORLD”
“the streets sunlit”: Quicksands p. 353.
“on a much larger scale”: The Turning Point p. 256.
“The Master was standing on the doorstep”: Quicksands p. 291.
“the endless flat roads”: ibid. p. 290.
“the sweating hot-furred”: ibid.
“You can’t appreciate the South”: Herald Tribune 8.8.61.
“went straight to his master”: Quicksands p. 290.
“a dentist’s suburban villa”: chronology by SB Aliette Martin archive.