Pieces of Me

by E. L. Todd

  She smiled. “Great.”

  ***

  Carrie sipped her wine across the table from me. She wore a backless purple dress with a silver pendant around her throat. Her hair was in loose curls, and it stretched over one shoulder. She wore make up, but not a ton.

  She was very pretty.

  “Are you always this quiet?” she asked.

  “Sorry, I don’t mean to be awkward.”

  “It’s okay,” she said. “There’s no judgment.”

  “I guess I’m the strong and silent type…but I usually talk more than this.” I gave her a smile even though I didn’t mean it. Then I took a drink of my wine and moved my gaze out the window.

  She studied my eyes as she examined my face. “I swear, I know you from somewhere.”

  The tabloids? The news? The media? “I have a pretty common face.”

  “Not really,” she said. “Your face looks so familiar. I might be getting you confused with a model.”

  I tried not to smile. “I’m flattered.”

  She rested her glass in her hand as she tried to figure it out. “Help me out here. I thought you looked familiar the other night but it was dark…”

  “Do you know anything about PIXEL software?”

  “Everyone knows about PIXEL software. I just got one of their phones yesterday.” She held it up for me to see.

  “Well…I own it.”

  She immediately stopped drinking her wine and couldn’t hide the surprise on her face. “You’re a Preston?”

  “Yes.”

  “But…I thought Mike and Sean own that.”

  “I’m Mike’s son. I’ll be taking it over sometime this year. You’ve probably seen my face in the media.”

  “Yeah, I guess that’s what it is.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m glad I figured that out. It was driving me crazy.”

  “Like an itch you can’t scratch, huh?”

  “Exactly.”

  “What do you do?” I asked.

  “Sports writer.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “You write about sports?”

  “Yeah, I write for ESPN.”

  “Are you serious right now?” That was the coolest thing I’ve ever heard—ever.

  “Yes,” she said with a light laugh. “I’ve been doing it since I got out of college.”

  “That’s badass,” I blurted.

  She laughed again. “I love my job and I’m grateful it’s mine. I’m not ignorant to the fact there are five thousand people who would replace me in a heartbeat.”

  “You like sports then?”

  “I love sports. However, I’m not much of a golf fan.”

  “Wow, that’s so cool.” She struck me as the girly type, the kind who didn’t know who Tom Brady was.

  “Thanks. Your job is impressive too.”

  I shook my head quickly. “My job is a bore compared to that.”

  She shrugged. “The grass is always greener on the other side, right?”

  “I suppose.”

  She set her glass down and gave me a playful look. “See? This wasn’t that bad, right?”

  “No, not at all.” I didn’t mean to give her the impression that I was a jerk.

  “What’s Apollo doing right now?”

  “Probably lying on the floor staring at the door.”

  She chuckled. “Sassy is probably doing the same thing. But she’s probably lying on the couch because she knows I’m not there to swat her on the nose.”

  “Apollo can’t get away with that. He sheds like crazy. I feel bad for my housecleaner.”

  “You have a housecleaner?” she asked incredulously.

  “Yeah,” I admitted. “I have no idea how to vacuum or dust.”

  She smiled. “You and every other single guy in the world.”

  I didn’t like being single. I missed having Lexie around, and not just because she cooked and cleaned for me. She made my place feel warm, full of love and joy. The second she left it turned ice-cold.

  Carrie caught the sadness on my face. “I’m a widow.”

  Her words brought me back to the conversation. “Oh…I’m sorry.”

  “He was in the military. They were overseas and his brigade came across a grenade…” She took a long drink of her wine. “None of them survived.”

  That was the saddest thing I ever heard. “I’m so sorry…” I already said that but I felt like I should say it again. To lose a spouse at such a young age is…absolutely terrible. “How long has he been gone?”

  “Two years,” she answered. She didn’t break down or show any emotion, so it sounded like she made her peace with it. “We were married for a year when it happened. I told him to work in law enforcement but he was so adamant about going over there…” She released a sigh like she was walking down memory lane. “Anyway, friends and family have been pestering me to start dating again so this is me doing that.”

  “Do you even want to date?”

  She shrugged. “I don’t know…I can’t picture myself ever falling in love again. I believe you only have that kind of relationship once in your life. And when it’s gone…it’s gone.”

  Her words immediately made me think of Lexie. Our relationship started off meaningless but we fell deeply and passionately in love. There wasn’t a night when I didn’t want her in my bed. Our relationship was perfect. I’d never been so happy in my life. When I considered having that kind of relationship again, I simply couldn’t picture it. “I know what you mean.”

  She gave me a grim smile. “Why did she say no?”

  “I don’t know.” And that haunted me. “She never told me.”

  “She just walked away?”

  “Yeah.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “We’d been together for years and I was over-the-moon for her. I thought she felt the same way. But when I got down on one knee, she just said no. Then she took off. I haven’t spoken to her since.”

  “That’s brutal…”

  “For the past three months I’ve been…spinning out of control. I had a different girl in my bed every night, I was constantly drunk, and I was an ass to all my friends. I finally broke down and admitted I needed help. So…I’m trying to get through it the right way without any distractions.”

  “I can understand that,” she said. “The year after he was gone I drank a lot. In fact, I was drunk at any given time of the day.”

  It sounded like we had a lot in common. “Is that why you got Sassy?”

  She nodded. “I wanted the company. She doesn’t talk but she listens…and I need someone to listen.”

  “Apollo is the same way.”

  “Well, it sounds like we understand each other pretty well.”

  “Yeah,” I said with a nod. “It looks like we do.”

  “I can’t see myself ever falling in love again, honestly.”

  “Me neither,” I whispered.

  “But maybe that works for us,” she said. “You know, if you want to go out with me again.”

  Now that all expectations were off the table, I felt more at ease. I was a broken man, just trying to get through one day at a time. She was the same way, equally shattered. I didn’t want to go back to fucking anything that moved and I was terribly lonely, so this was a good fit. “I’d love to go out again.”

  ***

  I was sitting at my desk when dad walked inside. “Hey, Dad.” It was hard for me to sound excited about anything, even seeing family.

  Dad stood with his hands in his pockets and stared at Apollo. “Son, you have a very nice dog but do you think it’s a good idea to bring him to work every day?”

  Apollo’s ear perked up.

  “Why not?” I asked. “He’s quiet and he doesn’t do his business in the building. I take him outside when he needs to go.”

  “But…he’s a dog.”

  “I know.” What was the big deal?

  “It’s just…this is a place of work. Don’t you think you should leave him at home?”

  “He’ll be bored si
tting there all alone.”

  Dad sighed then rubbed his chin. “There are health codes for these sorts of things…”

  “But we don’t cook food so I don’t see why it matters. And I don’t take him to meetings with me. Honestly, you wouldn’t even know he was here unless you came into my office.” Why was he fussing over this?

  Dad returned his hand to his pocket. “I’m just worried you’re too attached to him.”

  “Attached?” I asked. “I know a lot of people who have close relationships with their pets. You’re acting like I’m weird for caring about an animal.”

  “No, I don’t think you’re weird,” Dad said quickly. “I just—”

  “He doesn’t make any noise and he doesn’t bother anyone. You have no argument so drop it.”

  Dad clenched his jaw. “I’m just worried you’re having an unhealthy relationship with a dog.’

  “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I snapped.

  “I don’t want you to shut out humans and only spend time with a dog. That’s all.”

  “Well, I’m not,” I said. “I had a date this weekend.”

  That completely changed his attitude. He stepped closer to the desk. “A date, huh?” A slight smile was on his lips, like he was trying to stop himself from grinning too broadly. “Like, a real date or…one of your usual dates?”

  I didn’t react to the jab. “A real date.”

  “Yeah? A nice girl?”

  “Yeah, she’s sweet.”

  “Well…tell me about her.”

  Why did I mention her to begin with? Now I was going to be interrogated. “I was walking Apollo one night when I ran into her. She was walking her Doberman. We got to talking and she asked me out.”

  “Wow, that’s great.” Dad took a seat because he wanted to talk about this for hours like a pair of girls. “And where did you go?”

  “That Italian place we like.”

  “Cool,” he said. “What does she look like?”

  “She’s a brunette. She’s about my age. Beautiful, of course.”

  Dad smiled again. “What does she do?”

  “A sports writer.” I was still in awe of that. “She writes for ESPN. Pretty cool, huh?”

  “Conrad, that’s awesome.” He was far more enthusiastic than he should be. “I like her already.”

  If I told him she was a widow he wouldn’t like her as much. He wouldn’t want me to get involved with damaged goods, so I kept her secret to myself.

  “Are you going to see her again?”

  “Yeah, we’re going to take our dogs on a walk tonight.”

  “That sounds like a nice date. When can we meet her?”

  I glared at him. “I went out with her one time. Don’t be annoying and smother me.”

  Dad held up his hand. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  “Thank you.”

  “Well, let me know how it goes…if you want.”

  “I’ll consider it.”

  “Bring her to Mega Shake on Friday.”

  “Mega Shake?” I asked. “What’s going on this Friday?”

  “You don’t know?” he asked. “Sorry, I assumed Heath talked to you.”

  “Talked to me about what?”

  Dad started grinning again. “Heath is gonna propose.”

  I sat up straight. “He is?”

  “Yep.”

  “Seriously?”’

  “Yeah.”

  It was the first time I smiled in…forever. “That’s great. Those two should tie the knot. They are great together.”

  “Yeah, Sean and Scarlet are excited.”

  “Roland will be really happy.” My best friend deserved the best. I knew how much he loved Heath when he first admitted he was gay. He was so terrified of losing my friendship, but he risked it to be with Heath. I couldn’t think of a love more powerful than that.

  “Skye and Cayson worked things out…Trinity and Slade are having a baby…and you’re back on your feet. It’s an exciting time.”

  “Yeah, it is.” I was still miserable but I wasn’t going to act that way, not when my friends were having the time of their lives. Just because I was drowning didn’t mean they needed to drown with me.

  “So…how about you bring her?”

  “It’s a little soon for that.”

  Dad knew he overstepped his boundary again. “Sorry, I need to stop doing that.”

  “It’s okay, Dad. I know you just care.”

  His eyes softened. “Well, at least you understand that.” He stood up and leaned over my desk. “I’m excited to meet her if you ever want me to meet her.” He patted my shoulder then walked out.

  My dad was thrilled when he thought I was really moving on with my life. Everyone stared at me like I was a ticking time bomb. I was tired of the looks, of the whispers behind my back. Maybe if everyone thought I was okay, things would get better.

  It was worth a shot.

  ***

  We walked side-by-side through the park.

  Sassy and Apollo were getting along better now, since they spent more time together and realized they weren’t enemies.

  “Sassy is spade so there shouldn’t be any surprises…” Carrie wore black yoga pants and a pink sweater. She looked like a girl who did all her shopping at Victoria’s Secret.

  “Good,” I said. “Apollo doesn’t strike me as the father type.”

  She chuckled. “Probably not. But their babies would be cute.”

  “Maybe.” I kept one hand in the pocket of my jacket as we walked. It rained the night before so the concrete was black with moisture.

  “How was work?”

  “Good. I bring Apollo every day and my dad tried to convince me to leave him at home.”

  “Why do you take him to work every day?”

  “I don’t know,” I answered. “I guess I just like having him there.”

  “So you never feel alone.” She said it like she knew exactly what I was talking about.

  “Yeah.”

  “I do most of my writing at home so Sassy is always there.”

  “You work from home?”

  “Most of the time. But I go into the office for meetings and stuff.”

  “That’s cool,” I said. “I wish I worked from home.”

  “No, you don’t,” she said with a chuckle. “There’s nothing keeping you in check and it’s hard to discipline yourself.”

  “I can imagine,” I said. “How was work?”

  “Good. I interviewed Marshawn Lynch today.”

  “What?” I asked. “No one can interview that guy. He doesn’t give anything up.”

  “Well, he gave it up for me.”

  “No way,” I said. “What did he say?”

  “Read the article.” She smiled because she knew she was being a brat.

  “Hey, share the wealth.” I nudged her in the side.

  “Okay, fine,” she said. “He talked about his life growing up and his relationship with his mom, stuff like that.”

  “That’s so cool.”

  “I brought a box of donuts and that loosened him up.”

  I chuckled. “I bet.”

  “If you want to know more you need to read the article.”

  “Fine. When does it come out?”

  “Next month.”

  “I’ll make sure I get a copy,” I said. “Who else have you met?”

  “A lot of people,” she said. “Are you a fan of Payton Manning?”

  “I’m not a fan of the Broncos but I think he’s a great quarterback.”

  “Well, I’ve met him and his brother. I just met Colin Kapernick the other day.”

  “He’s still an amateur but he’s pretty good.”

  “And I met Stephen Curry,” she said. “He’s a sweetheart.”

  “That guy seems cool.”

  “He’s so in love with is daughters. It’s adorable.”

  “He’s the best shooter in the NBA,” I said.

  “I couldn’t agree more.”


  I wondered if she had kids. She never said she did, but then again, I never asked. “Do you have any kids?”

  “No.” She took a deep breath like the thought made her sad. “I wish I did…something of him.”

  I wish I hadn’t asked. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “No, it’s okay,” she said. “Don’t worry about it.”

  I changed the subject so she wouldn’t be sad. “Where did you go to college?”

  “I went to a community college for a few years then transferred to NYU.”

  “Very cool,” I said. “So, you’ve lived in the city your entire life?”

  “Yep. Fortunately, we didn’t have to move when Scott was in the military.”

  I assumed Scott was the name of her husband.

  “Where did you go to school?” she asked. “Harvard, right?”

  “How did you know that?”

  “Don’t all the Prestons come out of Harvard?”

  “Actually, my dad went to Yale.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know that,” she said. “Both fine schools.”

  “I guess.”

  “Did you major in business?”

  “Yep…super boring.”

  She laughed. “Come on, that’s not true.”

  “Did you major in writing?”

  “Journalism.”

  “Now that sounds interesting.”

  “Like I said, the grass is always greener on the other side. You’re definitely a bigger celebrity than I’ll ever be.”

  “It’s definitely not a perk.” I remembered my face on the front of a tabloid just a few weeks ago. And then I got my ass kicked by Georgia’s husband. That wasn’t my best day. “My dad and uncle get really tired of it.”

  “Your uncle was the sexiest man alive a while back,” she said. “I remember that now.”

  I chuckled. “We still tease him about it.”

  “You come from a line of good-looking men.”

  “My sister is really pretty too.” Shit, did I just say that?

  Carrie smiled. “Awe…that was sweet.”

  “Don’t tell her I said that.”

  She laughed. “I’ll keep your secret.”

  “She’s actually having a baby. I’m going to be an uncle.”

  “That’s great,” she said. “I’m an aunt. It’s awesome. How far along is she?”

  “Only like a month so we have a ways to go. But it’s still pretty exciting.”