A Reckless Life

by Michelle Files

  “It’s a beautiful name,” she said, smiling as she took the baby into her arms.

  I turned my head as tears began to slide down my cheeks. No one seemed to notice. All eyes were on the new arrival.

  “Oh look Adam. She has the same heart shaped birthmark on her neck that you do.” They both smiled as I turned back toward them.

  Sarah handed the baby back to Adam. “I need to make a phone call. I’ll be right back,” she told him.

  “So,” Adam started, “how long are you planning to stay at the ranch now?”

  Wow, I had just given birth and he was already trying to get me out the door.

  “Is that your way of asking me to leave?”

  “I didn’t really mean it to sound that way. But, yeah, I guess. We want to start raising the baby together and things could get really messy with you around. Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate all that you have done. We both appreciate it. I know that it was all unplanned and that I hurt Sarah badly, and that this has got to be the most gut wrenching decision you will ever make, but we are here for you and want to help you out.”

  He sounded so sincere. Did he really mean everything he was saying or was he just telling me what I wanted to hear? I’m sure he was trying to avoid a fight about leaving my daughter with him and getting out of all of their lives, for good.

  “I know that I agreed that you two would raise her, and I plan to stick to that, but I want to stay here. I want to see my daughter grow up, even if I can’t be her mother. Please.”

  I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try. I had serious doubts about it working though.

  “I don’t think that is a good idea.”

  Before I had a chance to respond, Sarah walked in with an older gentleman that I didn’t know.

  “Abbey, this is Dr. Edwin. He’s our family doctor,” Sarah announced.

  The doctor walked over and shook my hand. “Nice to meet you young lady.”

  “Hi. You too,” I responded. I had no idea who he was and why he was there. “Is something wrong? Why did you bring in a new doctor?”

  “No, nothing’s wrong,” Sarah replied. “Dr. Edwin is going to take care of the birth certificate for us.” She looked at me to see my reaction.

  “Okay. What do you mean?” I was a bit confused. “This doctor wasn’t anywhere around when I gave birth.” I hoped it didn’t sound rude, because that was not my intention. I just wanted to know exactly what they were doing.

  “What I mean is that he is going to put my name on the birth certificate, instead of yours,” Sarah replied.

  “No one told me you were going to do that.” I was getting upset. “Why can’t my name be on there?”

  If I couldn’t keep my baby, I at least wanted my name listed on her birth certificate. I didn’t see any problem with that at all. It wasn’t like any of their friends were going to see it.

  That’s when Adam chimed in. “Because Sarah and I will be raising her. It is the same thing as if you were giving her up for adoption to strangers. They always put the adoptive parents’ names on the birth certificate.”

  “Oh, I didn’t know that.”

  So that was that. The doctor put Sarah and Adam as the parents on the birth certificate and signed it. We did live in a small town and they all knew everyone, so it was pretty easy for them to get the people at the hospital to look the other way. Besides, the only people that actually saw me give birth to Madison were the delivery doctor and a couple of nurses. A good chunk of cash and they all forgot everything. It must be nice to have so much money as to get people to do whatever you want.

  Because I was doing fine, I was discharged from the hospital a few hours later and rode home with Adam and Sarah. Madison was in the carseat next to me in the backseat, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Coming home with my first baby should have been a joyous occasion, but it wasn’t. It was all I could do to keep from crying all the way home. I didn’t know if Madison would remember anything, it was doubtful of course. But, if there was any chance at all, then I didn’t want her only memories of me to be me heartbroken and depressed. I wanted her to remember me happy and loving. I tried my best to show her that. Let me tell you that it is almost impossible to be heartbroken and look happy at the same time.

  When we arrived home, they walked into the house to show off their new baby to everyone. No one had a clue that Sarah wasn’t her actual mother. She even played it up a bit by walking slowly and sitting gingerly on the couch, like a woman that had just given birth would actually do. I watched her as she did it and rolled my eyes. No one saw me though. No one paid a single bit of attention to me.

  I went straight to my room before anyone noticed I was not pregnant. I was in no mood to explain to anyone why I showed up at the ranch no longer pregnant, with no baby in tow.

  I hid out in my room for a couple of days in a deep depression. I had lost my best friend, given birth, and given away my own child, all on the same day. Could life get any worse than that? Someone knocked on my bedroom door three times a day and sat a tray of food outside, that I pretty much ignored. I nibbled at it a bit, just so I wouldn’t starve, but I had no appetite at all. I only left the room to go to the bathroom and back, and that was it. I didn’t see a single soul, and that’s the way I wanted it. No one seemed to miss me. I’m sure Adam and Sarah were busy with my baby and were happy that I wasn’t around to muddy things up for them.

  Finally, I figured I couldn’t just stay there forever, so I got up, got a shower and went to the kitchen to see Oliver. I had a plan that needed to be carried out perfectly. He immediately noticed that I was no longer pregnant and his eyes got wide as he looked from my belly up to my face.

  “You had your baby?” he asked. “When did that happen?”

  “A few days ago.” That’s all I said. I didn’t want to talk about it, but knew that wasn’t going to happen.

  He put the knife down that he had been using to chop onions, so he could concentrate completely on me.

  “What? And you’ve been in your room all this time? Wait…” He looked at me intently as it finally dawned on him. “Where’s your baby?”

  Here we go. Luckily I had been rehearsing what I was going to say during all the hours I hid out in my room.

  “My parents took him.”

  “You had a boy?”

  “Yes.” I was trying to distance my pregnancy from Sarah’s baby as much as I could.

  “What do you mean that your parents took him? You just let that happen?” His brows furrowed as he was trying to figure out what happened, and why I would do such a thing.

  “They didn’t take him away from me. That’s not what I mean. I gave him to them. For now anyway. I just need some time to figure out what to do with my life and couldn’t do that with a baby.” It sounded so callous when I said it out loud.

  “I see.”

  No he didn’t. He was giving me the strangest look, like I was the worst mother ever, just giving my baby away to my parents like that. Like I didn’t even care. If he only knew the truth, he would be completely in shock. Hell, I was completely in shock. The whole thing was so much harder than I ever imagined it would be.

  That was enough. I didn’t want to talk about it any longer. I knew I would not have to explain my lack of a baby to anyone else. Oliver and his rumor mill would take care of that nicely.

  A few days later I attended Huck’s funeral. I didn’t really know if his parents blamed me or not, but they didn’t say a word to me. I saw his mother glance over at me once or twice and look away quickly when she saw me watching her. Her behavior toward me was vastly different than when we met at their house. Because of that, I just sat in the back of the room and stayed out of the way. It was a beautiful service and I could tell that he was deeply loved. So many people were there and got up and said such wonderful things about him. I tried my best not to fall apart.

  After the service, I walked home alone, crying the entire way. Whether his parents blamed me or not,
I blamed myself. Of course, I didn’t kill him, but if I hadn’t walked into the coffee house that day, so long ago, fretting over my situation with Violet, this would never have happened. He would never have met Teresa if it weren’t for me. I introduced them. How could I not blame myself? It had to be at least a little bit my fault.

  That’s when I realized that life was delicate. And so short. It saddened me that on the best day of my life, the day I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, that I also lost my best friend. Life would never be the same.

  The police arrested Teresa the day after Huck died. She had been hiding out at a friend’s house. They had me go to the station and give a detailed account of what I had witnessed. It was enough to charge her with his murder. They told me that she would never be free again. Of course, they still had to have a trial, but it would be a while before that happened. Justice was a very slow process. They couldn’t pin Violet’s death on her, but at least she would go away for Huck’s murder. God, how I missed him.

  Over the next few weeks, Sarah and Adam doted on the baby. I was very happy that they adored her, she deserved that in parents. But, it saddened me that I had to pretend to just be an employee there. I was not permitted much contact with her at all. As much as I hated that, I did understand why.

  One day I was in the library, pouting and feeling sorry for myself, when Sarah came in. She told me that I couldn’t have much contact with the baby because they didn’t want anyone to get suspicious. No one knew anything, so it was ridiculous to think that anyone would get suspicious. She asked about my plans and I told her I was working on it. They obviously wanted me out. I just had nowhere to go, so was stalling. I’m sure they could see right through me.

  Madison was just adorable. She was chubby with lots of blonde hair. I sneaked in and just watched her in her crib whenever I had the chance. I couldn’t be with her anywhere else, so hanging out in her room was my new favorite thing. Usually it was late at night after everyone had gone to bed. One night while I was in there just watching my baby sleep, Adam walked in and freaked out on me.

  "What the hell are you doing in here?” he almost yelled.

  He was very angry. He walked over, pushed me aside, and looked into the crib like he was expecting her to be gone. Seriously?

  “I was just watching her sleep. Nothing else. Nothing is going on in here." I know I sounded defensive. But the way he came thundering in, made me that way.

  “Well, you need to leave right now. I don't want you in here anymore."

  "I was just looking at her. I don't really see what the big deal is. I love her and just want to be with her from time to time. Can’t you understand that?” I really wanted to sound sincere, not argumentative. I didn’t want to fight with him.

  "Please leave now."

  “Okay, fine I'm going.”

  As I was turning to leave, he stopped me. “I don’t want you in here anymore. Do I make myself clear?” He was a little scary.

  “Yeah, we’ll see about that.” And I walked out.

  Chapter 29

  The very next day, I went into town with Oliver to get some cooking supplies. When we arrived home, there was a police car in the driveway. Adam was standing in the driveway talking to the officers and they were writing in their notepads. They all turned to look at us as we pulled up. Oh boy, did he call the cops on me? I didn’t know what he could get me for, but he was resourceful. I’m sure he could come up with something. He still had the stolen Picasso hanging over my head. Could that be it? He couldn’t possibly think that I would actually take it? Crazy thoughts were racing through my head. He would do anything to get me out.

  We did not stop in the driveway, but continued on past them to park around behind the house, where everyone that worked there parked. I tried to put the police out of my mind, figuring that I would hear about it soon enough from someone that worked there. Secrets didn’t last long around there.

  I was on pins and needles all throughout the dinner preparation and during the meal. Adam didn’t say a word to me about the police while I was serving dinner. Not that I expected him to. I was getting a little freaked out by the whole thing. Honestly, the police being there probably had nothing to do with me. If it had something to do with me, I’m sure they would have wanted to question me. But, that didn’t happen. I was probably just being paranoid.

  After dinner was done and I had finished with all of the cleanup work, I grabbed some treats for the horses and went for a walk around the ranch to calm my nerves. I ran into Adam in the stables. Not having any desire to fight with him, I just lowered my eyes and walked around him, hoping he would just let me go and not start anything. I was only there to see the horses, not him.

  “Abbey, wait,” he called after me.

  I stopped and turned to face him, saying nothing. What was there to say? We hadn’t been getting along very well and I doubted it was going to be any different that time.

  “I need to tell you something,” he said quietly. It didn’t sound like he wanted to start a fight. He was calm.

  I waited. I was not going to speak with him if I didn’t have to.

  “Do you know why the police were here earlier?” he asked me.

  “No.” I desperately wanted to know, but wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction. I could be so stubborn sometimes.

  “They were here about the painting. I had to report it stolen.”

  “I see.” I had no desire to engage him in more conversation than that.

  “I didn’t tell them that I thought it was you.”

  Was he serious? It sounded like he was trying to let me know that he did me a favor.

  “You know it wasn’t me. If it was, I would be long gone from here.”

  “Maybe.” He stood there for a moment contemplating his next move. “Look, I don’t really think you took it, and I’m sorry that I accused you. However, my daughter is the most important thing in my life now and I will do anything to keep her here, safe with me.”

  “What do you mean by that? Why wouldn’t she be safe here?” I didn’t understand why he thought she would be in any danger.

  “You know what I mean. I mean that I want her to stay here with me. Not with you.”

  “Oh, I see.” I stood there for a moment without speaking. “Wait, are you threatening to tell the cops it was me that took the painting, if I take Madison? Is that what this is all about?”

  My voice was starting to get higher and higher, because I was starting to freak out some. He was basically telling me that if I took my daughter and left, he would have me put in prison for grand theft. Yes, I was definitely getting freaked out.

  “Okay, calm down.” He lowered his voice. “The truth is that I don’t want to do that. But I need some sort of leverage. I’m afraid that you might take her,” Adam told me.

  “You do know that she is my daughter, right? I can take her if I want.” I had no idea if making threats back at him was going to help the situation or not, but I felt I really had nothing to lose.

  “Well, not really. There is no proof that she is your daughter. Sarah’s name is on the birth certificate.” That’s when he just turned around and walked away, satisfied with himself.

  Oh no, he was right. I didn’t even think about that. How would I be able to prove that she was really mine? How could I be so stupid as to agree to let them put Sarah’s name on the birth certificate, without anything in writing at all to prove she was my biological daughter? Of course, there was DNA, but I would have to convince someone to do a DNA test in the first place. Who would believe me? No one, that’s who. Was I the stupidest person ever? I so often jumped into decisions without thinking them through first. It was so reckless, and now I would probably lose my daughter permanently because of it.

  A few days later, when no one was around, I went digging in Adam’s desk for anything that could help me. Anything at all. I found some paperwork showing that he filed a claim with his insurance company so they could collect the money for the stole
n painting. I was pretty sure that it wasn’t really stolen, but I had no proof of that. Adam just didn’t seem all that upset that a priceless masterpiece was taken from his house. It was something that his grandfather was given as a gift directly from Picasso himself. The sentimental value alone had to be through the roof. Yet, Adam seemed to take it all in stride. What about the fact that someone supposedly broke into their house and knew where to find it? It isn’t like it was out in plain sight in the front hallway. It was in a room that most people didn’t even know existed. I’m pretty sure Sarah didn’t even know that room was in the house. So, why was Adam so calm about the whole thing? If it was my house, and my painting, I would be extremely upset.

  Unfortunately my timing was really bad. As I was rifling through Adam’s desk, in they walked, both of them. They were talking as they entered the room and didn’t even see me at first. I jumped up out of the chair when I heard them approach. The look of guilt on my face had to be priceless.

  “What the hell are you doing in here?” Adam was angry, of course. That was his default state where I was concerned.

  “Um, nothing. Just looking for a pen.” Wow, seriously, that was the best I could come up with?

  “What are you holding behind your back?” Sarah asked.

  I hadn’t even realized I still had the papers in my hand. No point in denying it, I was caught red handed. I brought them around me and held them out for everyone to see.

  “Your insurance claim papers, that’s what I have. I’m pretty sure that the Picasso was never stolen. I just can’t prove it. Not yet anyway,” I said smugly, like I had any proof of anything, which I didn’t.

  “Really? That’s all you have, that you are ‘pretty sure’ it was never stolen? Okay then, let’s call the FBI right now.” Adam was obviously being very sarcastic.

  “Whatever.” My clever reply.

  “Give me the damn papers.” Adam walked over and yanked them out of my hands before I even had a chance to respond.