The Hearts We Burn

by Briana Cole

  Across the glistening infinity pool, I lifted my hand as if to wave, then flipped it around until only my middle finger jutted upward. I couldn’t even be sure he had seen the little snide gesture until the corners of his lips turned up in an amused smile. I sulked and rolled my eyes, turning my face away from his stare. My thoughts turned again to Leo. What the hell did he want with me tonight anyway?

  Suddenly feeling uneasy out here alone with Kareem under the beginnings of nightfall, I rose and wrapped the beach towel I was lying on around my waist. The one-piece bathing suit was enough to cover everything worth looking at, but still, knowing Kareem’s eyes were on me drinking in my every move made me a little self-conscious of my post-pregnancy body.

  I stepped into my flip-flops and started inside the house. Again, for sheer amusement, I pulled the door closed behind me and locked it, leaving Kareem’s ass outside. Was I being childish and petty? Hell yeah. Maybe if I annoyed him enough he would get fed up and quit this little babysitting job of his.

  I journeyed into the kitchen and grabbed a Coke from the refrigerator. Leaning on the counter, I popped the top and took a deep swig, just as Kareem appeared in the doorway.

  “You think you’re funny,” he said.

  I shrugged. “Not trying to be.”

  “Well what are you trying to prove?”

  “How much I can’t stand you all down my back,” I answered. “I mean, damn, can I get a little privacy sometimes? You don’t have anything better to do?”

  “You need to take that up with your husband,” Kareem said, stepping forward to the counter. “I get paid to do a job. And if he wants me to watch you take a shit, shower, and shave, then that’s what I’m going to do.”

  I rolled my eyes, disgusted by his little smug demeanor. “Not many people would brag about being another man’s bitch,” I said. “But hey, do you Kareem.”

  Mission accomplished. The smug grin was gone and his eyes lit with the anger I knew my words had ignited. Served him right.

  Just as quickly, as if remembering something, the flame was gone and something else was in its place. Something . . . sexual. He leaned closer and I drew in a breath. His cologne smelt delicious, like a masculine fruit. I inhaled and had to angle my head to meet his gaze struggling to ignore the embrace of his scent, his hard eyes, his body nearly touching mine. I watched his gaze drop to my gently parted lips and linger before they held my eyes again.

  “Cute,” he said, and I wasn’t sure now if he was referencing me or my comment. I didn’t like feeling like I was slowly being steered into some kind of mouse trap. Suddenly I didn’t have the strength to form words so I could only shake my head. He smirked then, and stepped back and as if on cue, my breathing returned to normal.

  I snatched my eyes from that hypnotic smile. Intrigue. Maybe that was it. I was now intrigued by this man that was all up in my face and space. I think I had been too annoyed with his presence to notice before, but now something was different.

  Rather than risk it all and explore these new feelings that had decided to surface, I left him there alone and headed upstairs to the boys’ room where Lupé was getting them settled in bed. I just stood quietly for a moment in the doorway as they each put up their little fights about not wanting to go to sleep, all while stifling yawns.

  “Boys, it’s time for night-time,” I said walking in the room to assist. “You know the drill.”

  “Mommy, story please,” Leo Jr. said, immediately sitting up in bed.

  Lupé gave me a look, indicating she had already gone through their little story routine.

  “Tomorrow,” I promised. “If you go to sleep right now, I’ll give you two stories tomorrow. How about that?”

  Satisfied, Leo Jr. threw his arms around my neck and squeezed me tight. I hugged him back, wishing like hell this could be somewhere else. A different time, a different place. Anywhere but here.

  Jamal was standing up in his crib, bouncing on the mattress and blowing spit bubbles. I sshhed him and laid him back too, planting a kiss on his forehead. “Night, night,” I whispered.

  I then joined Lupé in the hall, pulling the door to a crack at my back with the nightlight shining through.

  “They are so sweet Señora Saida,” she was saying, muffling a yawn of her own. I nodded my agreement. “I go to the store early in the morning before I come here if that’s okay.”

  I started to nod again, then stopped as an idea sprung forward like it had been waiting for the most opportune time. I had to bite my tongue to keep from blurting it out.

  “I’ll make you a shopping list,” I said, trying to keep the excitement out of my voice. “Where are you going?”

  “Wherever you need me to go,” she said. “I needed to pick up some groceries too.”

  I nodded, the plan beginning to formulate in my mind. Of course, why hadn’t I thought of this sooner? And because Kareem was lurking nearby (I didn’t see him, but I sure as hell could feel him), I kept my voice as casual as possible.

  “Okay great. The boys need a few things. Can you swing by in the morning before you go to the store? It’s going to take me a moment to make the list and I don’t want to forget anything.”

  “Sure, Señora. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  At that point, if it wouldn’t have looked too suspicious, I would have hit a back handspring. Lupé had never gone to the store before and if she had on the chef’s behalf, she certainly hadn’t asked me if I needed anything. But it looked like an opportunity had finally presented itself. I definitely needed something. And it sure wasn’t going to be on a grocery store shelf.

  Still trying to contain my excitement, I walked to my bedroom, already working out the words I would need to write for Lupé. Sure, I could pass it off as a shopping list. Kareem wouldn’t check it or anything, right? But when she got in the car, she would read the truth. That I was being held captive, that I needed her to deliver my exact location to my family in Atlanta, that she couldn’t tell anyone for the safety of me and my children. It should work, shouldn’t it? No reason why it shouldn’t.

  As soon as I clicked the bedroom door closed behind me, I turned, nearly running to my dresser to find some paper, and damn near screamed at the sight of Leo in my bed. I stopped in my tracks, watching him lift his body from the pillows propped on my headboard, the sheets pooling at his waist and exposing his naked, chiseled chest.

  Almost in reflex, I took a step backwards as Leo extended his arm in my direction. “My love,” he said, the words more of a demand.

  Understanding his intent and swallowing my own disappointment, I removed my towel and bathing suit before sliding into the warm sheets alongside him. Immediately, his arm came around me and pulled me close and he turned my face towards his. I cringed. No telling where this man’s lips, hands, or body had been for that matter. Well, given the circumstances I had a pretty good idea. And the thought had my stomach turning because now here he was trying to get a piece of me.

  “Leo,” I whined as he tried to pepper my face with kisses. “Please. I’m . . . not feeling well.”

  Doubtful, he pulled back searching my face for any shred of the lie I was telling.

  “I saw a little blood earlier,” I barreled on. “I think I’m about to start my cycle and it’s got me cramping.” It was weak, but what was he going to do, ask me to prove it?

  Whether he believed me or not, Leo let it slide and he turned me around so my back was against him and his arms were around my waist in a spooning position. I cringed again as he kept kissing, first the back of my neck, then my shoulder, his hand massaging my thigh. Damn he was getting too comfortable. I hoped like hell he wasn’t planning on sleeping in here tonight. Where was Tyree anyway? Why was he insisting on bothering me tonight?

  For a moment, we just laid there in silence, snuggling. Well he was snuggling, I was trying to shrink into the mattress so he wouldn’t have to touch me. He was quiet so long that I had relaxed thinking he had finally fallen asleep. Then, “We
need to talk about some things.”

  Shit. “I’m a little tired,” I said, laying my acting skills on thick. “Can we talk in the morning?”

  “No, I have some decisions to make,” he was firm, clearly signaling there would be no negotiating about having this conversation.

  I sighed. “What’s wrong?”

  “How do you like Naomi?”

  I frowned. Is this what was so important? “I don’t really know her,” I said honestly. “I guess she’s okay.”

  “You’re right, you really don’t know her yet,” Leo said, almost to himself. “But I would like you to.”

  I remained quiet. What was he getting at?

  “What would you say about me bringing her into our marriage?”

  I’m glad it was dark. Otherwise he probably would have seen me roll my eyes so hard it was a wonder they didn’t get stuck in their sockets. As if we needed more complication.

  “It would make my dad happy,” Leo went on quietly. “And if it makes him happy . . .” He trailed off, obviously waiting for my input.

  I shrugged. “Leo, do whatever you want to do,” I said. “Not like I have a say-so in any of this. So what difference does it make what I think?”

  Leo turned my body to his and now we were facing each other, illuminated only by the moon shining brilliantly through my open window.

  “That’s just it,” he said gently, rubbing his knuckles on my cheek. “I do want your say-so. I want to make you happy, my love.”

  I blinked back tears, refusing to be vulnerable again with this man. A bunch of bullshit I knew because he already knew what would make me happy. And yet still, he was too selfish to care.

  “Maybe we should all go out,” he went on at my continued silence. “Get to know each other a little better. What do you think?”

  The suggestion had my ears perking up. Out? As in out of the house? Hell yeah, that’s what we needed to do. I hadn’t been off of this property since we got here. Maybe, just maybe if I was somewhere public . . .

  My mind was already calculating, so much so that I didn’t notice when he had pressed gentle lips against mine. “What do you say? Would that make you happy, my love?”

  I nodded, trying to keep from seeming too eager. “Yes, I would like us to go out and get to know each other better,” I said. “I want to give her a chance. She seems like a nice young lady.”

  Leo smiled, obviously pleased with my words. “I think so, too,” he said. “Though I don’t know how happy I am about taking on another partner.”

  “Why?”

  This time, it was Leo who pulled back. “I like what we have here,” he admitted. “I like . . . us. You, my boys.” He stopped there as if that were all parties involved. I wondered if he had said the same thing to Tyree.

  “Well, just tell your dad,” I suggested for lack of anything else to say.

  Leo shook his head. “You know I can’t do that.”

  “I don’t get it. You’re grown. Why do you have to always do what he says?”

  Leo’s sigh was heavy and he leaned back even further from me, completely breaking contact. I appreciated the space.

  “You didn’t grow up with him,” he said, finally. “There’s no arguing or objecting him. His word is law. And if you don’t go with it . . . well you let me know if you find someone alive who has gone against him.”

  His words sent a chill down my spine.

  “He’s powerful,” Leo continued. “Let’s just leave it at that. So when he moves here, you don’t go against him. Understand, my love?”

  “Wait,” I sat up. “What do you mean? Moving here? In this house?”

  “No not here, but to this neighborhood.”

  “Why is he leaving Africa?”

  “For our protection.”

  I didn’t like the sound of all this. “What is going on Leo? Protection from whom? For what?”

  Leo sat up next to me and folded me in his arms. His weak attempt to provide some sort of pseudo-comfort only angered me.

  “Nothing to worry about my love. Only as a precaution. And it’s temporary, until we put some things in place to move.”

  “Move? Where?”

  “To Côte d’Ivoire.”

  I shook my head, my hope diminishing bit by bit. If I moved to Africa, my family would never be able to find me. Then what would I do?

  “But why, Leo? What aren’t you telling me?”

  “I’m telling you what you need to know,” he said giving me a reassuring kiss. “The rest, I’ll take care of it.”

  “But when?”

  “Soon, my love.”

  Now tears did come, desperate as I struggled to calm my rising panic. Whether it was dark or Leo was wrapped up in his own thoughts, he appeared not to notice.

  Then he turned and again, as if suddenly remembering I was there, smiled and wrapped his arm around my waist.

  “So, tomorrow then?”

  His words had rattled me and I racked my mind trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about now.

  “Tomorrow?” I echoed, frowning in confusion.

  “You, me, Naomi,” he said. “We’ll go someplace nice.”

  I didn’t respond. Instead I was trying to figure out all this new information Leo had thrown at me. And what the hell was I going to do now?

  Chapter 5

  Adria

  I wasn’t crazy. No matter how much I mourned my children and my best friend, I damn sure could pick up on the subtle changes with my husband.

  Of course it wasn’t anything major or glaringly obvious. But I did notice when Keon would come home and jump straight into the shower without so much as a glance in my direction first. I noticed how he spent a little extra time in the mornings getting dressed for work, how he seemed to be in much lighter spirits and I knew I hadn’t put him in that place. Why wasn’t he grieving with me, wallowing in mutual misery that could only be felt by parents suffering a loss? No, he was past that. And I needed to know how. Or better yet, with whom.

  Fortunately, I had gone down this road with Keon before, this little playboy phase of his. So I recognized the signs. Unfortunately, I had gone down this road with Keon before. So I also recognized the heartache.

  Keon didn’t expect to see me in the living room when he came home from work. Probably didn’t expect to see me anywhere outside of the nursery. That room had become my tomb and my altar. So I could see the sheer shock when I turned from my position on the couch to greet him as entered the room and tossed his gym bag on the floor.

  “Hey,” I said, leaving the single word to hang between us. Keon looked at me, then to the empty kitchen as if trying to assess how much of me was “back to normal,” if that was such a thing. Seeing that I hadn’t cooked, hell, hadn’t so much as dusted off the cobwebs on the stove in months, he sighed, almost like he was disappointed.

  “How you feeling?” he asked.

  How was I feeling? Hell kind of question was that. Empty. Dead. How was I supposed to feel?

  Instead, I murmured, “Fine,” since I knew that’s probably all he would tolerate right now to alleviate an argument. I was uncomfortable. This was uncomfortable. “How was work?”

  “Fine.”

  “Good.”

  Silence. Then, “I’m going out for a bit. I’ll be back.”

  The signs, the signs. I would be an idiot to ignore them again. “Where are you going?”

  “Out.”

  I was just as appalled at him. Never had he been so evasive since we had gotten married. Then again, I hadn’t been so inquisitive either.

  “With Jahmad?”

  “Why?”

  “I was just asking, damn. Why you getting so defensive?”

  Keon smirked, almost amused at the question. “You haven’t paid any attention to me in a long time, Adria. Honestly didn’t think you cared.”

  That hurt but I ignored it.

  “Yeah,” he went on. “Me and Jay will probably take care of some business.”


  I rolled my eyes. “Don’t know why you still fooling with that asshole. After—”

  I stopped short when Keon mumbled something and abruptly left the room. I was right on his heels. “What?” I pushed. “Don’t want to hear the truth?”

  “Adria don’t start that shit tonight. Please.”

  “Then don’t go out with him.”

  “And what?” he countered, turning to face me. “Stay home with you while you sit in the nursery like some mindless zombie? No, thanks. I’d rather go out.”

  I followed him into the garage, still warm were he had pulled his truck in just moments before. Hadn’t even been home five minutes.

  “Who you going to see?” I said as Keon jumped behind the wheel of his car. “Huh? You bastard who is she?” I was yelling now, my frantic screams bouncing off the cement as the garage door rumbled open. I’m sure I looked like a lunatic banging on the hood of his truck before he slammed it in reverse and out of my arm’s reach.

  Before I knew it, I was running back inside to grab my phone and keys and jumping in my own car to follow him.

  Keon had a good five-minute head start on me but I was able to catch up to his truck with its custom Falcon plates at Camp Creek Parkway. He was at the light and I could see he was on his cell phone. But since mine wasn’t ringing, the fact that it was someone else only infuriated me even more. The bastard.

  I kept my distance, easily navigating in and out of traffic so I stayed at least two cars behind him, no more no less. Yet still, my phone didn’t ring so I assumed he hadn’t realized I was following him. Not yet anyway. At one point, I chanced calling him, pissed when his voicemail message immediately rang in my ear.

  I steered with one hand and texted with the other, ‘WE NEED TO TALK. PLEASE.’ The notification next to my sent message indicated READ, and yet still, no return reply.

  It was times like this I wished desperately I could call Kimmy. She always had some words to talk me off the ledge with her brother. Even if in my stupidity, I didn’t listen, she was still there. But now here I was alone. Tailing my husband like some predictable scene out of a Lifetime movie. I had become the wife I always despised, had always said I would not be.