The Hearts We Burn

by Briana Cole

  Keon’s car slowed and my heart cracked and bled out my shirt when I saw him ease into the parking lot of the Hilton Hotel near the airport. I knew for sure he was not meeting Jahmad at a damn hotel.

  Just as he parked in the visitor lot and stepped into view, I dialed him once more, silently pleading that he’d answer. I was past angry. I was devastated and most importantly, afraid.

  I watched him glance at his phone before swiping the screen to reject my call and shoving the device in his back pocket. He walked right in front of me. Clearly, his mind was on his destination in that hotel because he didn’t even look my way or he would’ve seen me through the windshield, tears dribbling down my face like a faucet. Because I was remembering a time when we were at this very same place, a special time when we both were actually happy.

  Excitement wasn’t even the word I would use. Elated. Ecstatic. Euphoric were more like it. Keon had finally invited me on our first official date. And even though we were still sneaking around sleeping together behind Kimmy’s back, it was definitely another level I had been yearning for.

  I settled into the black leather seats of his truck and smiled at the two steaming Styrofoam cups of coffee resting in the cup holder. “Look at you.” I tossed Keon an appreciative smile when he slid in the car and handed me one of the cups.

  “Figured it would help a little.”

  I nodded and took a sip, not bothering with the cream cartons and sugar packets he offered. The caffeine already seemed to be kicking my energy up a notch. Even just being around him had lifted my spirits and dispelled all doubts of his sincerity about me. This was exactly what I had needed.

  “So where are we going,” I asked as he maneuvered the vehicle out of the complex. “I wasn’t going to ask but you got me curious.”

  “Can’t you just sit back and ride?”

  “Not really. For all I know, you could kidnap my ass.”

  Keon laughed. “I assure you. You would go willingly. You must not like surprises,” he concluded.

  “Negative. I do like surprises.”

  “Well, you must not like me.”

  I smirked at the loaded question. “What’s your point,” I asked, instead.

  “My point is, if you enjoy surprises, and you enjoy me, then you should be able to relax and know you’re going to have a good time. Don’t we always have a good time?”

  That much was absolutely true. A charmer. “Do you always get what you want, Keon?” My amused grin froze when he took my hand and lifted it to his face. The kiss was gentle; a reassuring brush of lips on my knuckles, but enough to have my heart stuttering.

  “I’m not going to say I usually get what I want,” he answered. “But I will say, anything I want, I go for it.” Damn, he was good.

  Keon drove with leisure. The windows were down to let the comfortable breeze drift through, the radio soft enough for conversation, but loud enough to have me murmuring along to the music. When he placed his hand on mine on the armrest, I didn’t budge at the casual gesture.

  After a short drive, Keon eased the car to the back of the Hilton Hotel, up a brick driveway and under the arch of a stone building. A Spa Jadore sign hung suspended between two columns, and large windows allowed a glimpse of the elegantly decorated reception. A valet was already opening my door and extending his hand to help me out.

  “Welcome to Spa Jadore,” he greeted, before rounding the hood to the driver’s side. I was surprised to feel my body almost heating with anticipation.

  Inside, candles, plush cream couches and ottomans, lap throws, and glass shelves adorned the lobby. Someone had lit the fireplace and a mellow flame cracked the air as it licked a stack of firewood, filling the room with the smell of hickory.

  Keon headed to the reception desk while I wandered to a set of French double doors towards the back of the room. I peered through, admiring the pool, hot tub, and rock formation waterfall, all surrounded by an assortment of palm trees, hammocks, and patio furniture.

  “Gorgeous, huh?” Keon touched the small of my back as he joined me at the door.

  “It really is,” I agreed, turning to share a generous smile. “Thank you for this.”

  “No problem. First things first, a couple’s massage. Then you can do your girly thing.”

  I laughed. “What’s my ‘girly’ thing?”

  “You know, your nails. Face.”

  “Oh yeah,” I flirted. “And what’s wrong with my face?”

  “Too damn sexy,” he responded and had me laughing again.

  We were shown down a spiral staircase where the young attendant led us to our respective areas.

  I noticed the women’s changing room carried the same luxury and high-end finishing as the rest of the resort; from the deep, chocolate lockers lining each wall, to the patterned tile floors with rich shades of rust and saffron. When I removed my socks and shoes, I could only smile as the under-floor heating radiated gentle warmth to each of my feet.

  As instructed, I moved to change into the monogrammed spa robe, savoring the distinct smell of honeysuckle that infused the locker room and drifted suggestively into the attached bathroom. Damn. The depth of this serenity had my body nearly throbbing in appreciation. Yes, I would allow this place to spoil me for the day. I deserved it.

  Keon didn’t bother with subtlety as his eyes wandered over my body when I emerged. Turned on, I fingered the lapel of his identical robe, catching the hint of chest hair peeking through the opening. “Well, don’t you look nice,” I commented. I was surprised when he mimicked my gesture, his fingers brushing my neck in the process.

  “You too,” he said.

  I smiled. Is this what real couples did? I was beginning to enjoy the volley of flirtation between us.

  The attendant led us into a European-style room, dimly-lit with a range of earth tones and two massage tables. “If you two will get comfortable on the tables,” she said, adjusting the lighting on the wall, “your masseuses will be in shortly.”

  As soon as the door closed, I watched Keon turn his back to me and I couldn’t help but smirk. Did he call himself now being respectful? After all the sexing we had done with each other over the years?

  “What’s the matter,” I teased. “You afraid to see me naked?”

  Keon chuckled and glanced over his shoulder long enough to toss a wink in my direction. “No, I’m afraid I won’t be able to lie down flat on my stomach.”

  I laughed as I loosened the belt on my robe. I let the robe slip from my shoulders and pool at my feet. My breath quickened and my eyes remained fixed on Keon’s back. He had to feel the sudden spike in sexual tension that nearly had the room vibrating. I didn’t give a damn what we had previously agreed to. I wanted him. So, I waited.

  When his own robe fell to the floor, I sucked in a breath. Damn, the man was cut. I appreciated his body each and every time I saw him. I could easily visualize my nails raking over each chisel of his chocolate frame; from the defined angles in his back down to those ripped thighs, taut with what I knew for a fact was enough aggressive power to handle even my wildest orgasm.

  I climbed onto the table facedown and adjusted the sheet to cover my waist and legs. We rested in silence for a few moments, a soft jazz melody breezing through an in-ceiling speaker.

  “Do you like to travel?” he asked.

  “That is an off-the-wall question.” But, I did appreciate the change in subject. I looked at him, watched his lazy grin spread, and could only smirk in return.

  “Not off-the-wall if I’m trying to get to know you, Adria,” he commented. “Isn’t that what we said we were going to try to do? No more casual sex? Building a real relationship?”

  “True,” I said, appreciating how he quoted my request wordfor-word. He was listening. And complying. “Well I do like to travel. I just don’t get to do it as often as I would like.”

  “I hear you. Kimmy and I used to do more traveling together but that kind of died down.”

  “She probably got tired of y
our silly ass.”

  “Probably so.” Keon’s raspy laugh was just as erotic as his smile. “I guess that’s something we can do now.”

  My smile flourished. Oh, he was saying and doing all the right things. “I guess so,” I agreed.

  A man and woman walked through the door, dressed identically in crisp, white t-shirts and white cargo shorts. My masseuse was Jude, a young blond with a stocky build and huge hands. I closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of warm oil dribbling on my back. I couldn’t be sure if Jude was actually trying to hold a conversation with me and honestly, I couldn’t care less. Instead, I focused on my body beginning to come alive with his delicate presses, his fingers gliding over my skin like satin.

  I pictured Keon’s hands on me, kneading my back, easing down to squeeze my ass, slap it, then massage the sting with gentle strokes. He would replace his hands with his tongue, using the tip to coat my skin and lap the oil. Then, he would trail down. Down. And he would moan and lick his lips, preparing to devour. When I wiggled in anticipation, he would dive in—

  “Ma’am?”

  Jude’s nudge snatched me from my dream. I eyed him, curious if I had made some outward display of the damn good fantasy my mind was playing for me.

  “You’re all done,” he said.

  But I couldn’t help but smirk at the double statement. Because no, I was not all done. Keon and I were just getting started.

  I don’t know how long I sat out there after Keon went inside. I do know the sun began to set and pretty soon, a hotel valet was knocking on my window to move me along because I had probably exceeded the limit on parking in this drop-off only zone. He was right. I had long since dropped off my husband to another woman. Now what was I waiting for? For him to come out and tell me how good she was?

  I drove around with no purpose or destination for a while. Didn’t recognize the streets and by the looks of the thugs clustered on each corner, I didn’t need to stop and ask either. I couldn’t bring myself to go home but home was where my pills were. And now, more than ever, I needed something to relieve the pain.

  Barlow’s number was scattered in my call log more frequently than Keon’s. Maybe he had been right. I needed him more than I needed my husband right now. And, shit, he had proved time and time again he had been there for me more than my husband. Tonight was no different.

  “What you need, Ma?” he answered after he picked up on the first ring.

  “Something to take the edge off.”

  “You calling out of routine, Ma,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m at the crib.” I had been around Barlow enough to know that was code for one of his trap houses counting money, so apparently I had caught him at a bad time.

  “Can I come by?”

  That caught him off guard. “Here?”

  “Yeah. I . . . need to see you.” I didn’t give a damn how it sounded. I was desperate at that point and right now, Barlow had what I needed.

  “Where you at?” he asked after a minute.

  “Honestly, I don’t know.”

  “The hell you doing out this time of night anyway, Ma? You lost?”

  “I think so.”

  Barlow smacked his lips. “What you see? What street names?”

  I squinted as I eased up to a four-way stop. “Glenwood Ave.,” I read.

  “Ah shit, Ma. Don’t move. I’m on my way. Lock your damn doors ‘fore somebody snatch yo’ ass up.” Click.

  It almost sounded like he was joking but I quickly did as I was told. He appeared to know more about this area than I did anyway.

  Thirteen minutes later, I know because I was counting, a black Honda pulled up alongside my car, blacked out from the windows to the rims. I didn’t look over until I saw the driver’s side window roll down and I breathed a sigh of relief when Barlow’s head came into view. He gestured for me to follow him and he waited while I turned my car around to get behind him.

  Barlow led me through several neighborhoods before we pulled up to a decent size one-story home. He pulled his Honda under the single carport and I pulled behind and cut off my engine.

  I waited while Barlow unfolded his body from the car and walked to me. He opened my car door and I felt his eyes gaze up and down my body, nodding his head in appreciation of my simple yoga attire. “You coming in?”

  I felt a danger alarm going off and I tried my best to tune it out. “You don’t want me to just wait out here?”

  There was that chuckle again. Barlow must’ve been entertaining himself because I sure didn’t see anything funny.

  “Nah, Ma,” he said. “Not in this area. Come inside for a sec. Don’t worry. I got what you need.”

  He turned then, confident I was going to follow. He was right. All that talk about this being a bad neighborhood was scaring the hell out of me. I locked my car and half-ran to catch up with Barlow. At least I knew I would be safe with him.

  The inside was definitely a different atmosphere than outside. Outside felt like an older home that belonged to someone’s great grandmother. Inside looked completely renovated, a clear indication of where they had invested their drug money. Two women were sitting at the dining room table bagging pills, and a man was hunched over the coffee table counting money. It all looked too obvious in my opinion, having everything out in the open like this, but what did I know about the drug game?

  No one spoke and we didn’t even bother stopping at the tables but instead continued to the back of the house. Barlow opened the door to one of the bedrooms and stepped to the side to allow me to enter first.

  The room was enveloped in darkness with the exception of a red light bulb coming from a floor lamp beside the bed. Through the red tint, I could see a bed in black sheets that dominated the center of the room and a single dresser pushed against one wall. That’s it. Nothing on the dresser, not an article of clothing laid out, nothing to indicate the room was actually lived in.

  I took a few hesitant steps in, whirling around when he closed the door behind us. There was that smirk again.

  “You need to relax, Ma,” Barlow said, stepping around me and taking a seat on the bed. “You act like I’m about to do something to you.”

  I watched him kick off his shoes and reach underneath the bed for something. He pulled a magazine into view. On top was a bag of white, powdery substance I instantly detected was cocaine. Dipping his pinky in the bag, he brought the powder to his mouth and rubbed some on his gums. I just stared.

  “You looking like you want to hit this,” Barlow said.

  I shook my head. “No, I really just want some more pills.”

  “Damn you running through them shits quick.”

  I didn’t know why but the comment put me on the defense. I crossed my arms. “Forget it. Let me get out of here,” I said even though I made no move to go. We both knew I wasn’t leaving this room without my medicine.

  Barlow sat the magazine on the bed beside him and gently patted his lap. “Come talk to me for a minute, Ma.” He licked his lips and though I didn’t tell them to, I felt my legs moving in his direction. I don’t know whether it was me or the drugs in the air but I was beginning to feel a little buzzed. So I didn’t object when Barlow pulled me down on his lap and brushed my hair behind my shoulder.

  “You know you sexy, right?” Now I could smell the weed on his breath and unconsciously I leaned closer to inhale the scent deeper.

  Barlow closed the distance between us, assaulting my lips with his while his hand found its way under my t-shirt. I tasted remnants of the cocaine powder on his tongue and, like an addict, I lapped it up eagerly. This felt so wrong. So forbidden. But so damn good.

  He laid me back on the bed and sat up just enough for him to pull his shirt over his head. He was muscular for sure, but I couldn’t help but notice the healing cuts crisscrossing his midsection. Then he was lying on top of me and I felt the heat waking up every organ in my body, each humming to life with an intense ache that left me quivering. Had it been that long?

  Barlow licke
d and sucked me dry while my hands fisted in the sheets and I moaned every syllable in his name like a lullaby. My legs tightened around his neck as he used his tongue to coax the orgasm from hibernation and I bucked and arched to let him feast on every part of me. Every part that, up to now, had been exclusively for my husband. But after seeing his little hotel rendezvous, I didn’t care. Even when Barlow slid in me raw and I felt every painstaking inch massage my walls, I didn’t care. I didn’t think. Just rode on the ecstasy until my skin was in flames and slicked wet with our chemistry.

  Barlow emptied himself and collapsed beside me, completely spent. I waited until my breathing subsided before turning to climb out the bed.

  “Where you going?”

  I paused and glanced over my shoulder. “I was just . . . I thought we were done.”

  “Nah, come here Ma.” Barlow held out his arm for me and I obediently snuggled in the crook. “I got your shit,” he assured me stroking my hair and back. “I want you to try this other stuff first, then I’ll give you your pills and follow you home.”

  I angled my head to look up at him. “How much I owe you?”

  Barlow’s grin was huge in the dim light. “You paid up, Ma.”

  I nodded, more satisfied with that than the actual sex. At least I would be leaving with two things that made me feel better. If only for now. I couldn’t speak for the next time.

  Chapter 6

  Kimera

  I was torn tonight.

  Part of me was excited. It had been a long time since I had been out of the house so I was going to take advantage of this opportunity for sure. Leo had gone out and bought me a sexy Michael Kors dress with a red beaded corset and a hi/low hemline, shorter in the front to show off my legs and trailing long to brush my ankles in the back. I had done my own makeup, taking extra care to contour my cheekbones and blend the colors on my eyes until they were a smoldering dramatic gray. Having the brushes back in my hand almost had me forgetting my circumstances. Almost took me back to a time when makeup was my life, and Adria and I had wanted to open our own cosmetic store. I take that back. Not just wanted to, had actually done it. But that, along with the rest of our dreams, had vanished up in smoke. Literally.