Where the River Ends

by Jacqui Penn

  Sophia smiled. ‘I’d like that, thank you. I’ll just nip home and let Simon know what I’m doing. Suppose I’ll have to bring everything here if I’m not going back home before the wedding.’

  ‘Do you want me to come and give you a hand?’ Anna offered.

  ‘No. There’s not much to bring. Back soon.’ She disappeared too quickly.

  Anna watched her get into her car from the window. ‘Is she alright?’

  Nellie shook her head. ‘No, and I haven’t a clue what’s happened. It’s not like her to be such a closed book. I know a chap from the past turned up and unsettled her, but that was a while back.’

  ‘Oh no! Not Tristan?’

  ‘No, that wasn’t who she said. It was a strange name… That’s going to annoy me now.’

  Anna’s eyes opened wide. ‘Not Gio?’

  ‘Yes, Gio! Do you know him?’

  ‘No, but I knew of him. She fell for him, but it was all a bit secretive. So how did she meet up with him again?’

  Nellie shook her head. ‘I really don’t know. All I do know is that she did seem to perk up again afterwards, and then went backwards again. Maybe it’s nothing to do with him and it’s just a bit of nerves.’

  ‘Mmm. Maybe, maybe not. I’ll try and talk to her again later. Do you fancy a glass of bubbly?’

  ‘It’s a bit early; oh, go on then. We’ll get Sophia on the stuff when she comes back and get her talking.’

  Anna giggled. ‘High five!’ They slapped their hands together.

  Sophia didn’t go straight home, instead, she stopped by the river. A mother duck swam along, followed by several ducklings. She’d made her decision, and everything was fine, so why did she feel so sad and empty? She was getting married. This should be the happiest time of her life. Simon loved her, so what was wrong with her? Maybe she was consumed by guilt. She’d made a mistake, just one mistake, it wasn’t the end of the world. She cried and then berated herself for being stupid. Should she tell Simon? She couldn’t turn back time and make anything different so what was the point? Simon was happy and she’d just shatter him and make him feel as bad as she did. No, telling him wasn’t the answer. She had to get over this and move on.

  She watched the ducks. The mother had gone out of sight, but a flock of others had turned up and were being fed by some children. Bread isn’t good for ducks. Tristan had said that. Her mind wandered to Gio. What was he doing? Did he ever think of her, or had he gone off and asked his girlfriend to marry him? She shook her head and winced at the thought. That night. The same shudder ran through her body and made her feel weak. She shut her eyes. What she wouldn’t give to be with him doing that again right now.

  Her eyes opened and she looked around her as though the world had known her last thought. She’d shocked herself. How could she have even let that into her mind? She disgusted herself. Right! Clothes! She turned the key and drove off towards home.

  The house was deserted. She gathered clothes together for the next day and then reached for her wedding dress, hidden in a suit cover. Pulling back the zip, she smiled when the delicate cream silk shimmered as the sun hit it. She held it against herself, glad she’d gone for knee-length instead of long. Brides were always nervous, and she wasn’t the first, and certainly wouldn’t be the last to do something untoward before marriage. She slipped the hanger back in place and zipped the bag. Where is everyone? She pulled her phone from her jeans pocket.

  ‘Simon. Where are you? Oh, okay… No, I came back for some clothes and my wedding stuff, I’m staying at Nellie’s until the wedding. You know where the boy’s things are? Yes, don’t forget to do the ties in a bigger knot so they aren’t too long… Okay, yes. Love you, too. See you on Saturday.’

  She felt a lump in her throat. Simon had taken the children to the cemetery. See you Saturday sounded so normal, and yet… Right, don’t go there! She picked up her bags and dress hanger then made her way out to her car.

  ‘I can’t believe you two started without me. That’s rude.’ Sophia had walked in to find Nellie and Anna in a fit of giggles.

  Anna handed her a glass. ‘Get that down you. You’ve got to have a second one to catch up. Nellie wondered if there was any chance she might pull the best man, as she’s Matron of Honour?’

  Sophia took a sip of wine. ‘Matron of honour? Since when? And have you seen the best man?’

  Nellie laughed. ‘Oh, I’m grateful for anything these days. And who else is going to be Matron of Honour? It has to be me.’

  ‘So, who is the best man?’ Anna asked.

  ‘John. We met him at the Salsa club. He’s actually quite a laugh, but far too old for you Nellie.’

  Nellie roared with laughter. ‘How old is he? He must be ancient if he’s too old for me.’

  ‘He must be about sixty or more.’

  Nellie’s face dropped. ‘Thank you very much. That isn’t ancient, I’m sixty-two.’

  Anna burst into contagious laughter, and Sophia stared for a moment at Nellie’s feigned, hurt expression, and then she creased up. ‘Sorry,’ she spluttered.

  ‘No you’re not. You’re laughing.’ Nellie stifled a smile. ‘I think I’ll go and get ready for lunch. It takes us oldies a while.’

  Anna eventually stopped laughing. ‘My ribs hurt. Oh dear, I haven’t laughed like that for ages.’ She shook her head and let out another giggle. ‘I wouldn’t have thought Nellie was that old?’

  ‘Nor me. I can’t believe I said that.’

  Anna topped up the glasses. ‘Well, at least that put a smile on your face, now we just have to keep it there.’ A pained expression crossed Sophia’s face and Anna wished she’d kept her mouth shut. ‘So did you bring the hat?’

  ‘No! And before you start, I’m not going back for it either. I’ve got a nice little clip ordered with fresh flowers matching the bouquet.’

  ‘Oh! I thought you liked the hat. I’ve got a different one now. Shall I show you?’

  Sophia raised her eyebrows. ‘I’m going to have to say yes, just so that I’ve got two days to talk you out of wearing it.’ Sophia smiled to herself as Anna rushed out of the room and returned seconds later.

  ‘Da dah! What do you reckon?’

  Sophia stared. ‘It looks like a blue beehive, with scaffolding. What is that bit of wire across the front?’

  Anna smiled, pleased that Sophia was paying attention to detail. ‘I knew you’d love it. And… Guess what? My dress even has the same little beads.’

  ‘Lovely. Go and show it to Nellie.’ Anna flounced out of the room. Sophia shook her head, and then smiled and gave a little giggle of approval when she heard Nellie laugh.

  Sophia sighed. She was so lucky having these two on board. She swigged back the last of her wine and topped up her glass. Life was good. She was going to have a wonderful wedding day and never look back. She’d had all the guilty feelings she was ever going to have, and now life was just going to get better and better. She brought up her shoulders and felt at peace. What a lucky girl she was.

  Chapter 23

  Sophia screwed up her face. ‘You can’t be serious? A red dress with a blue hat!’

  Anna raised her eyebrows. ‘You need to look at the bigger picture. They’re the same beads. Look! And anyway, who says we all have to match?’

  ‘What shoes are you wearing?’

  ‘Da dah!’ Anna pulled a pair of high heeled stilettos from her bag. ‘Red, with blue heels. Matching, just the way you like it.’

  Sophia grinned. You’d better get them on, I just heard a car pull up.’

  ‘So are you alright now?’

  ‘Yes, come on.’

  ‘No. I’m serious. Are you over all that Gio stuff?’

  Sophia flinched at the name. ‘How do you…? Nellie!’ She took a breath and tried to calm herself. The last thing she needed was to be reminded of him right now. She looked out of the window. ‘Yes, it is the car. Here we go.’ She headed out of Anna’s bedroom and into her own room to collect her bouquet.


  ‘Oh, my. Don’t you look a picture?’ Nellie said, seeing her in the hallway. ‘Just beautiful. Hang on, I need a photo.’ She clicked the camera, wiped a tear from her eye and they headed out to the car. ‘Anna, lock up, will you? The keys are in the lock. We’re getting in the car.’

  ‘Okay.’

  Nellie slid into the front seat while the driver put the wheelchair in the boot. Sophia sat in the back and felt flushed. Her chest tightened. ‘I don’t feel well. I think I’m going to be sick.’

  Nellie looked back at her. ‘It’s just nerves. Oh no! Will you look at that?’

  Sophia turned to see Anna strutting down the path, her hat about ten inches taller than her head. She was taking pigeon steps in an attempt not to fall over.

  Nellie couldn’t help herself and laughed out loud. ‘It’s not a fancy dress party, this is supposed to be a serious occasion.’

  Sophia giggled. ‘Just get in here. No duck down. You’re going to have to bend forward all the way to the church.’

  ‘Yes. I had some trouble getting under the doorways.’ Anna looked perturbed.

  The driver started the engine and pulled slowly away. Sophia’s breathing was erratic.

  ‘Are you okay? You’ve gone very white,’ Anna said.

  ‘Will you stop going on. I’m fine.’

  The car pulled up outside the Catholic Church. Sophia could hear organ music and saw Olivia, standing with Angela. That flouncy little dress was just perfect. To her knees, and the most delicate shade of gold, shimmering as the sun caught it. Olivia waved with excitement and Sophia waved back. Nellie and Anna fussed around for a couple of moments, then greeted Angela, and disappeared into the church.

  Sophia tried a few deep breaths to steady herself and then headed for the church doors. The organ stopped briefly and then she heard the bride’s march begin. Suddenly she wished she hadn’t made the decision to walk down the aisle with Olivia behind her. She grabbed Olivia’s hand and together they entered the church.

  ‘I’m supposed to walk behind you. Mummy said I—’

  ‘Do you mind if we walk together?’

  Olivia was thoughtful for a moment. ‘Okay.’

  Sophia held her breath as the crowd were asked for any reason they could not be married. For an awful moment, she willed someone to speak out; someone to take the decision away from her. What if Gio turned up, stood at the back of the church, and demanded she shouldn’t marry the wrong person? What was she thinking? She gulped at her indiscretion. The service seemed to go on and on. She heard the guests giggle as she stumbled over her vows. Simon Wilfred Bartholomew. What a name! She just wanted to be at home, curled up in bed, she didn’t feel well.

  Twenty of them ate a five-course meal, toasted the bride and groom and wished them many happy years of wedded bliss. In his short speech, the best man told her she was beautiful and told Simon how lucky he was to find true love a second time around. She felt like a fraud. She thought all these feelings had left her, but that one small remark from Anna had ignited them all again.

  People from the Salsa class, some parents and children from the boy’s school, and work associates of Simon’s soon filled the hall in the evening. The band struck up and Simon and Sophia took to the floor for the traditional first dance. Simon had chosen The Wonder of You by Elvis. She’d wanted to go for something else, but he’d been adamant saying the words were so right.

  A few other people joined them on the dance floor. The band followed with Burning Love and Sophia nearly had a heart attack! Nooo! Out of all the songs, not this one. Elvis the Pelvis! All she could think about was Gio.

  ‘Sorry, I need some air.’ She pulled out of Simon’s arms and fled the room. She locked herself in a cubicle in the ladies and closed her eyes. She had to stop this. She’d made her decision and until Anna opened her big mouth, all had been fine. She’d be fine again, she knew that, but she didn’t need to feel like this—not today. Today especially, her feelings made the guilt unbearable. She looked in the mirror, wiped away a smudge of mascara and went back to face the music. At least they wouldn’t be playing that song again.

  As the band continued to play, Sophia began to relax and enjoy the dancing. In the interval, the band put on some salsa music and the crowd from the salsa group hit the floor with their rhythmic movements.

  ‘You reckon we could do a bit of this?’

  Nellie looked up to see John, Simon’s best man, standing next to her. ‘I’d love to, but I don’t think these wheels will let me move like that.’ She motioned towards the dancers, now wiggling and gyrating their lower regions.

  He pushed her onto the dance floor, swinging her chair in perfect time to the music. John danced around her and Nellie joined in with her arms as he navigated the chair into several spins. Nellie beamed. He was quite a mover. Old indeed! He could show those youngsters a thing or two.

  Anna watched from the bar. It looked like everyone was having a good time, but there was something not right with Sophia; she’d known her too long. Simon was so nice, but was nice going to be enough when her friend obviously yearned for someone else? She giggled aloud when she spotted Nellie dancing, giving it her all, and she’d pulled the best man. Anna hadn’t told Sophia she was on her own again, after yet another failed attempt at romance.

  A member of the band came and stood next to her in the break. ‘Love the hat.’

  ‘Thanks. I really should take it off, but it’s so rare to have the opportunity to wear such a creation.’

  He laughed. ‘It certainly is a creation. My sister used to wear similar headgear. I swear the hats found her.’ He ordered a round of drinks and offered her one.

  ‘I’m fine thanks. I have to be able to walk out of here in these heels, and I’m already going to have trouble.’

  ‘See you later then,’ he said as he went back to join the band. He stopped and took a step back to her. ‘I’m Terry.’

  She smiled. ‘Pleased to meet you, Terry. I’m Anna.’

  ‘See you later, Anna.’

  ‘That’d be nice.’ Stop it! You’re flirting. What the hell!

  Anna turned back to the bar to see a fresh drink in front of her. She raised it in the air to him and took a sip. Ah. That was sweet of him.

  When the band resumed playing, she found herself drawn to the bass guitarist with the long dark ponytail, and several bead bracelets adorning his wrists. Throughout the evening, their eyes met and it felt like he was playing just for her. He had a great smile, sort of sexy and enticing. When they finally stopped playing, after two encores, Terry joined her, still at the bar.

  ‘We’re heading off to Gizmo’s if you fancy joining us.’

  Anna nodded. ‘Great!’

  ‘What happened to the hat?’

  She laughed. ‘It got heavier the more alcohol I had. It’s over there on the chair next to my friend.’

  Anna strolled across to Nellie. ‘I might go on to a club with the band. I’ll come to yours in the morning if that’s okay,’ Anna said. The band were putting their equipment in the van and Sophia and Simon had already left for a night in a local hotel, before setting off on their honeymoon the following day. ‘Are you going to be okay?’

  ‘That’s fine, love. You go and enjoy yourself. John already offered to run me home, so no problem. She pulled her handbag around from the back of the chair and rummaged in it. ‘Here, take a key in case you need it.’

  Anna took the key, bent down and kissed Nellie’s cheek. ‘Don’t do anything I wouldn’t,’ she whispered.

  Nellie gave a seductive laugh. ‘Well, that leaves me with plenty of scope. See you in the morning.’

  John wheeled Nellie up the path to the bungalow. ‘I don’t know the last time I was out after dark and being wheeled home is a bonus. Thank you.’

  ‘Don’t thank me, it’s a pleasure.’

  ‘Will you come in for a nightcap? I’ve got a bottle of malt.’

  ‘Now there’s an idea. Be rude not to.’

  She fumbled with the
key, wondering how to phrase the next statement. ‘You’re welcome to stay… Malt and driving…’ She turned the key.

  ‘Even better. A beautiful lady and malt—what a lovely combination.’

  ‘Compliments will get you far.’

  ‘I hope so.’

  She could feel her cheeks glowing. ‘Now, now. Give me a chance to find the glasses and fill them, before we get carried away.’ As she reached up for the glasses, John wrapped his arms around her and nibbled her ear. ‘Oh, sod the malt.’ She put the glasses on the worktop and pointed across to the other side of the lounge. ‘The bedroom’s that way.’

  John whipped the chair around and ran it across the room with Nellie whooping with laughter.

  Anna and Terry spent a couple of hours in the club, totally oblivious to all around them, made their excuses and left. He called a taxi. ‘My place or yours?’

  ‘Yours. I’m staying with Nellie, the woman in the wheelchair.’

  ‘Oh right. She looked like quite a laugh.’

  ‘She is, but I might be pushing it turning up with you in tow.’

  He gently pushed her back to the wall, grasped her hands together and raised them above her head. Anna was hungry for him. She loved a man who took control. They resurfaced for breath when the taxi driver pipped the hooter.

  Terry’s flat was above a music shop. He unlocked a door next to the shop, they went up the stairs and Terry led her straight into a bedroom, flicked on the light and then switched it off again when a child sat up in the bed. ‘Shhh. It’s okay, go back to sleep.’

  He ushered Anna into the living room where a woman slept on one of the two sofas. He took Anna’s hand and led her back out of the front door and pulled it shut. ‘Sorry. That’s my sister and her kids. She must have had trouble at home.’

  ‘Okay. Well, I have a key so I’ll go back to Nellie’s.’

  ‘Can’t you sneak me in?’

  Anna giggled. Could she? No, she couldn’t. ‘Okay, we’ll have to be quiet, and you’ll have to leave early before Nellie’s up.’