THARNISHED HEARTS

by Allen, J. C

  I put my hands behind my head, grimaced, and then shrugged.

  “Well, honestly, you did what I would’ve done. You went to defend the ones that you loved.”

  “Hah! I ain’t callin’ nothin’ with that girl love,” Roost said, followed by more laughter.

  “Yes, but you get my point,” I said, to which both of them nodded. “And once you got there?”

  “We handled it together and Eve did great. Yeah, there was a little complication at the end, but we fuckin’ got our shit together here. I gotta say, I was worried, but they ain’t even scratched.”

  “Wait, a little complications?” I said. “There’s nothing little about an explosion!”

  “To be fair,” Eve said, holding her own hands up defensively. “We were doing just fine when the leader pulled a remote detonator, and then Roost got us out of there and all in one piece.”

  I ran my hand over my neck, sighing deeply as I looked at the two. While I had wanted to stay mad, I couldn’t. Not knowing that we were one step closer to the end goal.

  “Well, I know two things after tonight. One, I’m going to kill Tara. Two, you guys are ridiculous.”

  That drew a laugh of tension released from all three of us. I let it go for as long as it needed to. Really, I was so relieved to see that Eve was alive and in no worse shape from before—considering what possibilities could have happened before this moment, it could have been much, much worse.

  “But for real, next time she does that, Eve. You gotta let her go.”

  “I told her as much, Derek,” Roost said. “I ain’t think ya gotta worry one bit.”

  “Good. Eve? Can you promise? Can you promise me that if she does that again and you don’t have backup from the Saviors, you’ll let her go?”

  Eve stared at me for a long, long time. I knew what I was asking her was a bit much—to basically abandon her closest friend. But my request was made because I loved Eve, not because I wanted to control her.

  And frankly, as cool of a story as it would have been, two former prostitutes of the Black Falcons were not going to overthrow the entire club themselves.

  “Yes, Derek, for you,” she said, smiling. “I promise.”

  I had a suspicion that she had a way of ensuring Tara would stay in line. And, honestly, for the foreseeable future, it was going to be hard to trust Tara.

  But I had no trouble trusting Eve. I loved her, and love didn’t come without unquestioning trust. I nodded and smiled.

  “Hell, we just crippled half the Falcons in one night. I’d call that a pretty good evening. Roost? Get your ass home and do whatever it is you do at this hour. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take my lady home so she can sleep in my bed. After all, she did get stabbed this morning, you know.”

  “Oh my God, Derek,” Eve said with a grin.

  Roost looked mighty relieved, even giving the wiping sweat off his brow motion, before heading out, kicking his bike into high gear and heading home. I took Eve’s hand, walked her to my bike, and smiled contentedly as I looked up at the sky.

  “You’re not mad at me?”

  I looked down at her, still wearing that grin.

  “At first, I thought you’d gotten kidnapped, so I was worried sick,” I said. “Then I saw the security footage of you two taking off, and I got enraged at Tara. Which, well, you saw. If it looked like you went willingly with her? Like you wanted action as badly as she did? I would’ve been upset, mostly because it would’ve been without me. But it sounds like you kicked some ass yourself.”

  “A little,” she said. “But I did it so I could see you.”

  Before I could respond, she got up on her toes to kiss me. I paused our walk, turned, and held her tight to me as we kissed under the moon, as two lovers who were finally sharing a much needed night together did.

  “I knew I liked you for a reason,” I said. “OK, let’s go! Seriously, I need a night in after all of this.”

  Eve just ran her hand down my back, gently scratching it, as we then hopped on my bike and made our way home. The ride was quiet and serene, and I think that was the best it could have been. We both had our fair share, undoubtedly, of gunfire, danger, and people wanting to kill us. Having empty roads, clear skies, and plenty of green lights seemed like the perfect antidote for the evening.

  We took the elevator up, and I plopped down on my couch. Eve sat right next to me and all but collapsed onto me. I laughed as I scratched her face and her hair.

  “Fighting is tiring, huh?” I said.

  She glanced up at me with a smile that started sweet but then turned decidedly… horny.

  That was the other part of battle that I had forgotten. It made me insatiably sexually aroused.

  Good thing now I got to do it with someone I loved instead of just some random hookup at the bar.

  I moved down, capturing her lips in mine. Deciding I didn’t want to wait any longer, I slid my arms lower and lifted her up. She gasped and then settled in my grip. I smiled, glad that she was so comfortable with me carrying her and headed towards the bedroom.

  “I like you carrying me,” she said, her voice sultry from desire.

  Her hands were already moving to remove my shirt. Like I said, battle has a way of making people very, very horny.

  “I like carrying you too,” I said, leaning down and capturing her lips in mine.

  As we reached the bed, I set her gently down and moved over on top of her. She shivered in pleasure as I began to kiss her again. As I continued to kiss her, I slid her shirt off, throwing it across the room. She watched, her face beaming with pleasure as I kissed down her throat, making my way to her creamy breasts. She was so fucking beautiful, and I was addicted to her taste.

  I could never get enough Eve Kellerman. If I could, I would go at her all night until she simply passed out from sheer exhaustion. And even then, if sex could be felt in one’s dreams, I’d probably give her some of that, too.

  “Oh! Derek,” she whispered, holding me tight.

  “You taste so fucking good,” I said as I wrapped my lips around one of her nipples, sucking it into my mouth.

  I continued on her breasts until she was shaking with pleasure. I grinned, knowing just how she liked to be touched and began to work my way down her torso and toward her pants. I slid them off along with her panties and ran my hand over the juncture between her legs. She was so fucking beautiful everywhere.

  “Derek, don’t make me wait! Please,” she said as she arched up, begging me.

  “Just one orgasm beforehand, okay?” I said, grinning wickedly down at her.

  “Oh, God, fine!”

  She was a ball of fire that no amount of water could put out. I fucking loved it.

  She glanced up, her lower lip coming out in a mock-pout, and then I slid my fingers inside her. I watched her eyes glaze over as she leaned back and grinned, loving the sight of her in pleasure. I could feel myself hardening beyond what I thought possible at the sight. I leaned back down, capturing her nipple once again in my mouth as I continued to finger her, feeling her clenching on me as I did. I knew she was close, felt how she clenched on me and the sounds of her soft moans escaping her parted lips.

  “Come for me,” I said, ordering her to give me the first of many orgasms.

  I watched in pleasure as she began to undulate beneath me, riding out her orgasm as she rocked her hips against my fingers. She writhed like she was having the most pleasurable seizure of all, and I went at her until she slowed down.

  But the until was just a prelude to the main event.

  Not wanting to make her wait, or myself, any longer, I removed my fingers, replacing them with my cock, and slid home. She cried out in pleasure, another orgasm hitting her as I began to thrust inside her. I groaned, loving how right it felt inside, loving how she fit me so perfectly.

  “Mm! So fucking good,” I said, groaning as I continued to push inside of her.

  “Derek! It feels so amazing!” she said, panting around her cries of ecst
asy.

  I moved from her breasts, kissing up her neck to her mouth, capturing the last of her cries of ecstasy.

  I was so goddamn horny and so fucking aroused from everything that we had done that almost immediately, I could feel the tension rising. I suppose it was the one downside to post-combat sex—there was so much energy begging for release, it was like the entire fight was buildup to the actual orgasm, so by the time my dick was inside Eve, it only needed but a couple dozen thrusts to reach that moment of no return.

  As I kissed her, I could feel my own release growing, growing, and growing, and I began to move harder inside her. She lifted her hands, holding my shoulders tightly and I could feel she was growing close again.

  “Gonna cum,” I said against her mouth. “God, so good!”

  “Do it! Come with me,” she replied, panting in ecstasy.

  Doesn’t care in the least this is short but sweet.

  Good. I’ll reward her after.

  Then, it happened.

  We both lost ourselves in our release. My mind became blank as I kissed her harder, filling her up as I did. I felt her body cascade beneath me and was lost in the sensation. My lips practically choked her, they kissed her so hard.

  And when I finally came down, I could only gasp out three words.

  “I love you.”

  She laid there silently, her hands gently running across my arms and my back. I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to leave. I wanted to stay there, inside her, loving her forever. I never wanted this night to end.

  I slid out, moving to lay beside her. I smiled at her face, her cheeks flushed from her orgasms.

  “That was incredible,” I said. “Nothing like post-combat sex, huh?”

  But to my surprise, she didn’t face me. Instead, she turned away from me.

  “Eve?”

  And then I heard sniffles.

  “Eve? Are you OK?”

  Within seconds, the sniffles had become full blown tears.

  That was something else. Sex after battle had a way of becoming emotional—it had a way of reminding you how easily you could have died or gotten hurt. I had never cried after sex, but the memories of Maggie had come rushing back in those moments, and I had had to fake my way through many a pillow talk to avoid becoming too upset at the memory of everything.

  I suspected for Eve, this was much of the same.

  “Eve, baby,” I said, holding her close.

  I knew she’d be willing to talk eventually, so for the next minute or so, I just hugged her close, holding her body against mine. I wanted to let her know she didn’t have to say anything, that I was here for her, and that I would never let her go.

  Perhaps at some point, I would have to physically let her go, but my spirit would never lose its tie to her.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her words a blubbering mess. “I just… when you said you loved me, I realized that I could’ve died out there. And it made me think about how much that would have hurt you. I’m sorry, Derek. I’m so sorry.”

  “Shh, shh,” I said.

  I didn’t say this out loud, but her words touched me to the point that I felt incredibly emotional. Combine it with the high and low of gunfighting, and I, too, almost began to cry. It certainly took a great deal of concentration not too.

  “I just… can I be honest?” she said.

  “Of course,” I said, my words more of a breathless whisper than anything else.

  Eve gulped, let out a few more tears, then turned to face me, her eyes red and her cheeks stained.

  “I sometimes think of having a family with you,” Eve said, words which made me feel unbelievably joyful and happy. “I want to have a family with you. But… this lifestyle. I know, I know. I never want to take you away from it. But… what if you die? What if I get pregnant and you get killed? I don’t want… I just don’t want to raise a kid who never knows you.”

  I was so touched that I’m pretty sure my eyes watered. I leaned forward, kissed her forehead, and wiped away her tears.

  “You will never have to worry about that, Eve,” I said. “I’m not going anywhere. We will win this damn war. And if you get pregnant? I’ll be the best father ever. That, right there, is my promise to you.”

  Eve nodded, then pulled in to snuggle me. I wrapped one of my arms around her, holding her against me. I knew that tomorrow we’d have to go back to business.

  But for right now, today, we had each other’s love.

  And that was more than enough.

  6

  Eve

  I looked down in the hospital bed, seeing the doctor telling me to push. I was in so much pain, and worst of all, I was alone.

  Wherever Derek was, he wasn’t here. I wasn’t sure why he wasn’t here, and I wasn’t sure how I’d gotten into this spot, but I just knew that I was in the worst possible pain of my life—worse than getting stabbed—and I had no one to share the moment with.

  “Push! Push!” the doctor shouted, squatting in front of me.

  “I’m pushing as hard as I can!” I shrieked before tossing my head back in agony.

  This was so unreal. If I had known it would hurt so bad, I never would have gotten pregnant and never would have had kids.

  Although that begged the question, when did I get pregnant?

  Didn’t matter. I could feel the baby coming and screamed as I pushed with the last of my energy. I let out a roar of a cry as I heard the baby screaming.

  And then, nearly out of breath and feeling like I was going to pass out, I collapsed.

  “Where’s my baby?” I asked.

  But when I looked up, the doctor didn’t have anyone in his arms. Instead, he just looked at me with a sad expression.

  “There is no baby,” he said. “You are without family.”

  “But… how? What?”

  I knew what I was experiencing. I could feel my child coming out, and it hurt like hell! I knew what was happening. And you mean to tell me…

  “What?”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, his voice mutating into the familiar Rock’s again. “But you have no one that loves you.”

  “Derek!” I screamed instinctively, but the doctor just laughed at me.

  “Derek Knight died eight months ago,” the doctor said, his voice suddenly back to normal—I wasn’t sure if that was more or less cruel than the expected shift to Rock’s voice. “I’m sorry. You don’t remember? How he said that he was going to be there? What did you expect going for the president of a motorcycle club?”

  “No, no… no. No! Derek—”

  “He died trying to kill Falcon,” the doctor said, now fully back to Rock. “Did you really think he could succeed? Falcon has run the show here for years. Derek has spent his entire life trying to avoid interacting with the Saviors and the Falcons. You think he could have just plopped down and started working with them?!? You are crazy, Eve! You’re crazy!”

  Then he laughed.

  “You’re crazy for thinking this would ever work out. You’re crazy for thinking that you could have a family. You’re crazy for thinking Derek will survive this. He’s going to die, and you know it.”

  “He had no choice!”

  “Is that so?”

  “Derek!”

  “Eve!

  “Derek!”

  “Eve, Eve, Eve!”

  I woke up with a start in Derek’s arms, my mind reeling at another nightmare of… something unlike anything I had ever experienced.

  This one seemed beyond cruel, the idea that nature would put me in a position to have a child, only for nothing to come out. I couldn’t even find humor in the idea of a childless birth process, as if it was all for nothing. And then to dream that Derek would have died…

  I realized how much I was falling for him by the fact that I was fearing the end of his life so much. If I didn’t fear it, I wouldn’t have dreamed it. Perhaps I didn’t think about it consciously, but my subconscious was being a real bitch these days, especially in my dreams.


  I hadn’t realized until Derek said I love you last night how intense my feelings had gotten for him. I really did want a family with him someday, even if last night was the first time that I was admitting it to myself, let alone to him. I wanted us to be a family—choosing to have a child was the ultimate admittance that things were prosperous. To have a child in the middle of this war felt like an outright danger and an outright craze.

  But with Derek, anything felt possible. I wanted that child. Maybe I wanted it for the freedom and sense of abundance it would bring, the starkest contrast possible to the scarcity of peace that seemed to be in the streets this day, but…

  I’d thought I’d gotten a handle of things, but apparently not as much as I would’ve liked.

  Taking a deep breath, I slid out of bed and went to the bathroom, pressing some cold water to my face. I hated how bad things had gotten, hated how sick I suddenly felt after such an amazing day yesterday. Yes, maybe it was my subconscious, but these last few moments, having woken up from the nightmare, showed me that things were still the same. I was not pregnant, I didn’t think. I certainly wasn’t in need of going to the hospital to give birth. Derek was alive. Rock was dead.

  So why was this affecting me so much?

  I closed my eyes, working to relax and slipped out of the bathroom. I saw Derek staring at the empty part of the bed where I had been moments earlier.

  “Derek?” I said, my voice soft.

  His eyes were wild, and he glanced over at me. I wondered if he truly saw me, given that his look was lost, and I recognized it instantly—it was the look of someone who also had had terrible nightmares. I couldn’t say if he had had them to the same degree that I had, but that hardly mattered. It only mattered that he was having them just as bad.

  I slid back into bed, moving my hands to his face as I guided him to look at me.

  To truly look at me.

  I held him tight, helping to calm him, to soothe his own troubles even as my own continued to twist inside me. I had to be strong for Derek, had to be strong for everyone. Things would get better, I just had to continue to stay strong.