by Eden French
Carson’s heart stopped. There was nothing he’d want more in this world than to make Brand his mother’s son-in-law, but they were just starting over. He had to get in there before his mother said anything else and scared him away. Carson cleared his throat and entered the room with Cassie just behind.
“Hey, Brand,” he said.
Brand stood and turned to face Carson. Carson’s breath caught when those sharp green eyes met his. Carson smiled and tried to be casual as his eyes devoured him. God, Brand was sexy. He wore a thick flannel layered over a tight gray T-shirt that was tucked into a pair of snug dark-wash blue jeans. Carson’s heart sped up.
Breathe, Car. Breathe.
Damn, Brand really had filled out over the past seven years. What did that strong body look like naked? Carson had to force himself to not lick his lips.
“Hey, Car,” Brand replied as he walked over and gave him a hug. Carson closed his eyes and brought his hands up around Brand’s back, very much aware of every sinewy muscle he passed along the way.
“Let’s go check on dinner, Mom,” Cassie piped in.
“Oh, of course.” His mom sniffed and blotted her eyes before following Cassie into the kitchen.
Brand crinkled his nose as he watched the women leave.
“Is your mom all right?” he asked. “Her head isn’t still bothering her, is it? That was more than two weeks ago, and she should be feeling back to—”
“It’s not her head, Brand,” Carson began. “It’s what’s in it that she’s reacting to.”
Brand shook his head. “I’m not following.”
Carson took a deep breath. “Everything… it’s been a lot to process. And, please don’t freak out, but she knows about… us too. I mean, the us years ago.”
Brand’s eyes widened. “How? I swear, Car, I didn’t say a word to her.”
Carson shook his head. “No, I know. She found some of Dad’s old journals, and with Cass’s help, put it all together. But according to her, she should’ve known and has been carrying around the guilt about being in denial.”
“Geez, that’s heavy.” Brand shook his head.
“Dinner’s ready,” his mom called from the other room.
“Enough about that,” Carson said. “It’s a holiday. Let’s just enjoy the evening.” He leaned in and kissed Brand gently on the lips before leading him into the dining room by the hand.
“I can’t thank you enough for helping me the way you did,” his mom said as she passed the mashed potatoes to Cassie. “And for what you did at WinterFest for Carson.”
“I was just doing my job.” Brand smiled, his cheeks turning pink.
Damn, he was adorable. It took a near act of God for Carson to not smother him in kisses.
“Well, I suppose,” she replied. “But it’s nice to have you….” Her voice caught in her throat.
“Mom?” Carson said.
She cleared her throat. “It’s just nice to have you both here around the table again. It’s been a while.”
Carson swallowed as emotion welled up in his chest and nearly drowned him. He looked down and examined his hands in his lap. Brand reached over and placed his hand over Carson’s.
“I’m happy to be here, Mrs. Keaton… Kelly. With my parents traveling this year, I was just planning on sitting in front of the TV with a precooked meal from Village Market. This is a nice surprise. Thank you for inviting me over. I know it was last minute and all.”
“Nonsense,” his mom replied, her tone back to normal. “It’s our pleasure. I’m glad you’re able to be here. So, tell me, how are your parents? I don’t see too much of them around town anymore.”
“They’re good,” Brand replied. “Retired now. They mostly rent out their place here, so they can spend most of the year in Florida and then come back to Tahoe for a couple months in the early summer.”
Carson’s mom nodded. “And you don’t stay there? Where are you staying?”
“Mom…,” Carson said.
“What?” she snapped back. “I’m just curious. You know there was a minute when I thought I had three children, not two, for the amount of time you both spent together. You’re not the only one who’s missed him.”
Carson felt the blood drain from his face. Brand rubbed Carson’s back and smiled.
“It’s fine,” Brand assured.
“I’m sorry if I’m making you feel uncomfortable, Brand. This is supposed to be a holiday, not an interrogation, I swear,” his mom said meekly.
“It’s okay. I know this is kind of strange…” He nodded at Carson. “…you know, us reconnecting after such a long time.” Brand was silent for a moment. He placed his napkin down on the table. Looking at Carson’s mother, he took a deep breath while Carson’s heart hammered in his chest.
“Kelly, Car told me about Mr. Keaton.” His mom froze, her hand hovering over the bottle of wine she was about to grasp. She pulled it back and placed it in her lap.
“I know what happened, and I want to say that I’m sorry that you had to go through finding out the truth.”
“Brand, sweetie, I… I want to apologize for—”
“You have nothing to apologize for. We were all in the same situation. None of us knew what was really going on.” Brand took Carson’s hand in his and held it tight. Carson’s heart pounded in his ears. He glanced from his mother to his sister to Brand. He fought back emotion as years of regret overwhelmed him.
I should’ve said something.
His breath shook as he inhaled deeply and caught Brand’s attention. Brand squeezed his hand and gazed at him through kind eyes before turning back to his mom.
“You know, Kelly, I’ve been in some crazy situations at work, and I’ve seen enough to know that sometimes there are no second chances. Sometimes, we only get one time to get things right.”
Brand stared with impossibly green eyes into Carson’s soul, penetrating his entire existence. He sucked in a breath and waited for Brand to continue.
“So when we’re fortunate enough to get that second chance, we’d be foolish to let the past stand in our way.” Brand smiled. “I think I would like it very much if we could all just move forward. Take our second chance. And not give power to someone who can no longer hurt us.”
Carson’s insides trembled. Did Brand mean…. What was he saying? Could he actually want to give them a second chance? No, Carson couldn’t think about it. It was too much. What if he misheard? He wasn’t sure his heart would recover, if Brand slipped through his fingers again. No. He definitely misheard. That must be it. He hadn’t been paying attention and misunderstood what Brand had said.
And still, the way Brand sat close to him, held his hand, entwined their fingers, and squeezed reassurance into his palm told him that he’d heard correctly. Did he dare believe that Brand was willing to open his heart to him again?
Carson’s skin erupted with goose flesh. Good god, please let it be true. With adrenaline pounding in his ears, Carson leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Brand’s mouth. A tear slipped from his lashes, and he pulled back quickly wiping it away.
“Well, I think that’s just a lovely idea,” his mom said.
“I’ll drink to that,” Cassie said, raising her wineglass.
He lifted his glass and clinked it against Brand’s. “To moving forward?” he suggested.
“To second chances,” Brand replied.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The night sky was surprisingly clear for a Thanksgiving night. After Kelly had stuffed them all with the most amazing turkey dinner, she tried to force pumpkin and pecan pie down their throats. Brand had to gracefully pass. He’d be working out double this next week just from dinner alone, he didn’t need to add more time from dessert. Since the weather was surprisingly mild, Carson suggested they take a short evening walk, and Brand couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do more.
The air smelled of fireplaces and impending snow. Brand pulled his coat tight and walked outside with Carson close behind.
“Please thank your mom again for having me over last minute.”
Carson smiled. “Are you kidding? She loved having you over. You heard her. You’re family.”
Brand’s heart winced. Maybe....
He checked his emotions. Calm down there. Just because he let nostalgia get the better of him during dinner, didn’t mean he was ready to shack up with his ex. Sure, it’d become clear that he still had some feelings for Carson, but feelings and a commitment were two different things. He chewed on the inside of his cheek. Who was he trying to fool? When it came to Carson, the question wasn’t whether or not he’d carefully wade in or jump feet first. The question was where the hell the diving board was because he was about to do the biggest cannonball ever.
They walked under the stars and headed behind the house to a well-worn trail that led to the creek, Carson lighting the way with a flashlight. When they reached their destination, a small outbuilding in the back of Carson’s family’s property, Carson unlocked the door and Brand entered, taking a seat on a log bench they’d set up years ago. Carson followed and lit the small wood-burning stove. Once the fire was going, giving light and heat to the small space, Carson sat next to Brand.
Goose bumps covered Brand’s arms, though not from the cold. He shifted in his spot, fully aware of Carson’s closeness.
“I never thought I’d ever get to do this again,” Carson said as he leaned back into the bench.
“Car, do you ever think about what would’ve happened if you hadn’t left? I mean, what would you be doing?”
“All the time. But I can never really come up with anything.”
“Do you miss it? Tahoe, I mean.”
Carson lifted Brand’s chin until their gazes met.
“I miss you. I really do.”
Brand closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. God, why did Carson have to smell like heaven? He wanted to eat Carson up right then and there. But maybe he’d been too easily swayed by reemerging emotion. He’d been sure he had read Carson’s intentions right. But was he ready to make a commitment to Carson again? His and Ryan’s conversation passed through his head. He couldn’t get carried away. He had to be careful. He had to protect his heart. And do the sensible thing… right?
But he didn’t want to. And didn’t he owe it to his and Teo’s relationship to see if there was anything real left behind? Didn’t he deserve to know if what he was feeling was love or just the memory of it?
An internal battle waged war inside him. They were alone. In their spot. He wanted to lean forward and touch Carson’s lips with his own. He wanted to crush his body against his and trace every muscle under that tight shirt with his fingers.
Brand’s resolve faltered. Early in his career, when he was still an EMT for the county, he’d seen many instances where life had been cut short. He often wondered if those people had regrets. Did they live their lives to their fullest? Were they happy with what they’d done here on Earth? Because they didn’t get another chance. And now here he was. Who was he to turn one down?
Carson ran his thumb over Brand’s bottom lip and Brand’s eyes fluttered shut. The softness of the pull tugged at Brand’s libido. As if that needed any prompting. He was already semihard. One more swipe against his mouth and he’d be standing at full mast. Carson took his thumb and traced the curve of Brand’s lip back in the other direction. This time, when he reached the bow of his lip, Carson pushed the pad of his thumb into Brand’s mouth. His eyes snapped open. Jesus.
Instinctively, Brand sucked the offering. He let his tongue play along the edges of Carson’s thumb, suckling ever so slightly when it was fully encased in his mouth. Carson’s breath hitched, and Brand knew if he wanted him, he could have him. A heavy lust filtered into his head and swam around playfully. His skin buzzed.
“If you keep doing that, I’m not going to be able to control myself,” Carson whispered.
Brand swallowed carefully. Tonight had already provided him with enough closure for two lifetimes. He’d gotten what he came for. He could’ve headed home at any time. His heart skipped a beat.
“Then don’t.”
Brand heard the low rough tenor of the words and knew what it sounded like. Like he wanted to fuck. Hard. Unadulterated. In the moment. Now.
In his experience, nothing good had ever come of being swept up by the lure of intense physical pleasure, the same type of pleasure he knew Carson and he could give each other, but as he watched Carson’s eyes flutter, he didn’t care. He wanted to feel Carson again. He wanted to be his guy once more. Carson’s eyes flickered open and met his gaze. Brand reached up and wrapped his hand around the back of Carson’s head. He pulled it toward him.
“I’ve been dreaming about this for so long, Car. Please, please lose control.” His words were spoken like a prayer on the other man’s lips. Electricity sparked between the centimeters that separated their mouths and incinerated the room.
Brand held back and waited for Carson to meet him the rest of the way. He wanted this bad, but he needed to know Carson wanted it too. It took only a half-second longer for Carson to close the gap.
“I’ve been dreaming of you since the night I left. I was telling you the truth. There has never been anyone else. Just you.” Carson moved forward, closing the rest of the space between their bodies, and crushed his lips against Brand’s.
Brand’s breath caught at the urgency of the kiss. It devoured him. Carson brought his hands to Brand’s wavy, dark hair and ran his fingers through it until they settled at the back of his head. Brand’s cock twitched as Carson curled his fingers in his locks, holding his head still as the other man’s mouth bit and tugged at his lips.
“Fuck, Brand, you taste so good.” Carson moaned between kisses and Brand’s cock jolted in awareness.
He ran his hands down Carson’s arms. The strong lean muscles flexed under his touch. He’d imagined this for so long, it didn’t even seem real. He opened his mouth wider, inviting Carson to fully take his mouth any way he pleased. A wave of ecstasy rolled over his entire body, and his mouth became hungrier for Carson’s lips.
Carson’s hands traveled across Brand’s chest, his fingers tracing the outline of his collarbone out toward his shoulder and around to his upper back. Brand leaned into the other man, his blood bubbling like molten lava in his veins. Carson moved his hands around both sides of Brand’s head and curled his fingers in his hair, controlling all movement. Brand let him lead; he wanted to feel Carson as he used to be.
He knew he was playing a dangerous game with his heart, but for once, he didn’t care. His skin hummed with energy, and he wasn’t going to deny himself any longer. He wanted to taste Carson’s tongue on his as it darted in and out of his mouth, wanted to hear the low moans as they escaped his lover, feel hot lips sear his body, smell the cedarwood and mint as it seeped into his soul, and see his face fall lax as orgasms took them both.
Just how it used to be.
Brand’s hands found the waistline of Carson’s pants and, with quick fingers, undid the buttons. He remembered every crease and fold of that cock, the one he used to own. He longed to have the thick erection in his hands once more. His heart flew in his chest.
No more waiting. No more holding back. There’d been enough of that.
Brand pushed his hand down the front of Carson’s pants and gripped the length of his prick. A small sound escaped Carson’s mouth, and Brand swallowed it with his own. Oh, fuck, Carson was so hard. He had to refocus if he didn’t want to come in his own pants right then and there.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Carson was two seconds from exploding. Never had there been anyone else who could elicit such a response from him the way Brand could. But he didn’t want to lose it. Not yet. Brand had opened up a wide range of possibilities by grabbing his dick, and the way he stroked it made Carson’s toes curl, but he wasn’t about to shoot his load so soon. Leaving Tahoe and Brand was the biggest regret of his life, and if Brand was willing to give him a second chance, he w
as going to slow down and be grateful for it, no matter how turned on he was. He would take his time and enjoy every gifted moment.
His hands wandered to Brand’s jeans and unbuttoned them. They shook as he reached down and pushed Brand’s boxer briefs below his hips, exposing his erection. Carson fisted it tightly, squeezing until a stifled moan passed through Brand’s lips. It may have been a long time, but Carson still remembered how Brand liked to be touched. He’d jerked off to those memories more than once on those lonely Hollywood nights when he was alone and dreaming of home.
“Shit, Car, you feel so good.”
The sound of his name rolling off Brand’s tongue set his blood to boil. He lifted his hips and, with his free hand, pushed his pants further down. Brand broke their kiss, and let his mouth travel down Carson’s neck. His teeth played and nipped at the soft flesh there.
“I want you out of these clothes,” he growled.
“Are you sure?”
“Now.”
Carson released Brand’s cock and unbuttoned his shirt. The fire had warmed the outbuilding well, and Carson pulled off his shirt without hesitation, letting it fall to the floor. He brought his hands to Brand’s shirt and pushed the flannel over his shoulders. Brand released Carson, removing both the flannel and shirt, and added them to the pile on the floor.
Carson sat and stared at the man in front of him, mesmerized. He had a goddamn eight-pack for fuck’s sake. His fingers traced each tight muscle until they were all attended to.
“How in the hell is it possible you’re even more beautiful than I remember? Your body is gorgeous.”
Brand smiled. “Well, until recently, my dating life hasn’t exactly been super active. I spend a lot of time in the station gym working out my frustrations.”
“You must’ve been really frustrated,” Carson said absently as he bent over and caressed Brand’s stomach with his tongue.
