Driving Home for Christmas

by Emma Hannigan

  ‘And how on earth did you end up in computers of all things?’ Joey was intrigued.

  ‘I guess it was the easiest way to rebel against what my parents wanted me to do,’ she said.

  ‘I wouldn’t say you’re the most confrontational person I’ve ever met, but you obviously knew your own mind from an early age and how to use it.’

  ‘Yeah, and luckily my family were okay with it. My aunt Sue was my saviour, really. She understood that I needed to choose my own direction and supported me for a while.’

  ‘Do you still have contact with your folks?’ Joey asked.

  ‘We see one another from time to time, but they live in their own little cocoon.’

  ‘Fair enough.’

  ‘They just do their thing and I do mine,’ she said, shrugging.

  ‘I can’t imagine not being close to my family. We drive each other to distraction at times and, believe me, we used to kill each other as kids, but we’re pretty tight.’

  ‘Your family’s amazing. I’d give anything to have what you guys share.’

  ‘My accident really brought home to me what I have here,’ Joey admitted. ‘My ex-girlfriend Sophia hated coming here.’

  ‘Why?’ Skye was incredulous.

  ‘I don’t know,’ Joey said. ‘I never asked her. It was just an awful unspoken tension between us. She avoided coming down here at all costs.’

  ‘Didn’t she get along with your parents?’

  ‘I think everything from the actual house to the way my family do things was alien to her. She’s a suburban girl who only likes triathlon and going out the odd time to poser-type bars.’

  ‘She sounds like hard work,’ Skye said. ‘Sorry.’ She blushed as she realised she was pulling a face.

  ‘Don’t sweat it.’ Joey grinned. ‘I’m sure Pippa’s been giving out yards about her behind my back. She couldn’t stand her!’

  ‘No comment.’ Skye winked and smiled.

  By the time they bumped the wheelchair into the living room and everyone was in clean dry clothes, a sense of calm came over them all. The Craigs and their guests spent the rest of the afternoon together beside the fire, reading magazines, watching old movies and playing team Scrabble, which turned into a highly competitive loud version of the supposedly civilised game.

  ‘“ZUKS” isn’t a word, you two,’ Skye said to team Lainey and Scott.

  ‘Yes, it is,’ Scott said seriously. ‘It’s an Aboriginal tribal name from the far outback of Australia.’

  ‘You made that up because it’s worth twenty-four points,’ Jay remonstrated.

  ‘Prove it,’ Lainey said, staring him down.

  ‘There’s a children’s mass in the village at five thirty,’ Holly said, stretching. ‘I was thinking of going, then buying fish and chips for supper. I thought we could eat them out of the packets at the fire.’

  ‘God, that sounds good!’ Joey said. ‘I’ll be the size of a space hopper by the time I get back to work, though.’

  ‘It’s Christmas,’ Holly reminded him.

  ‘Does anyone fancy going to mass, then? No pressure, but it might be nice. I’m going to tip along with Holly,’ said Paddy.

  ‘I’ll come,’ Lainey said. ‘I feel like I’m going to take root here if I don’t move.’

  ‘Me too,’ Jules said.

  ‘Do you think you can fit me onto the trailer safely?’ Joey worried.

  ‘We’ll pile up some bales to make you a snug seat. You’ll be grand,’ Paddy said.

  In the end they all piled into the back of the tractor-trailer around Joey to keep him steady.

  The local church was small, with a traditional crib at the top, complete with straw and live animals, in the shape of a cow chewing hay, two sheep and a donkey. A woman stood beside the donkey, holding his noseband, while he shook his head to show his distaste at being on display.

  All the local children were gathered at the other side of the altar, eyes shining with anticipation. The highlight for the entire congregation had to be the donkey peeing. The children giggled and even the most pious adults cracked a smile.

  ‘I’ve never been to church like that before,’ Skye said, as they filed out.

  ‘It’s not usually that exciting,’ Pippa told her. ‘Usually you’re sitting there, bored out of your mind, with a numb bottom and a crick in your neck.’

  ‘Pippa, behave!’ Paddy said. ‘No danger of you running off to join the nuns, then?’

  ‘That was seen as a fabulous thing to do when I was young,’ Holly said, as they headed into the chipper. ‘If you’d a boy going into the priesthood you were asked to tea and treated like a celebrity.’

  ‘Sorry about that, Mum,’ Joey said.

  ‘Nine rounds of fish and chips, please,’ Paddy ordered.

  The usual row ensued where everyone insisted they were paying. ‘You can all put your money away because it’s paid for,’ Holly said, accepting her change.

  ‘Ah, Mum,’ Lainey said. ‘That was very sneaky, zipping in behind us while we were all busy arguing.’

  The money discussion continued all the way home as they left a trail of steam and a whiff of vinegar in their wake.

  When they got back to the house, the fire was smouldering in the living room so Paddy built it up with a few briquettes and some coal.

  ‘Gather around, everyone, your plate is your lap,’ Holly announced, as she came in with the food.

  ‘And your leg is your napkin,’ Joey added.

  ‘No, we’ll stretch to a festive napkin each, but only because I bought so many packets in Lidl we could cover every wall in the house with them,’ Holly said. ‘We’re not getting all upmarket, mind you. You see, we have a tradition in this house,’ she explained to the visitors. ‘There’s no washing up on Christmas Eve!’

  In line with Holly’s stipulation, Paddy produced bottles of beer and passed them round. ‘We like a bit of style around here,’ he said. ‘Cheers, everyone! Happy Christmas Eve and thank you all for coming and cluttering up our living room.’

  ‘Cheers!’ They got to their feet, gathered around Joey and clinked bottles.

  31

  Merry Christmas,

  Everyone!

  As she pulled her case from the conveyor belt in Dublin airport, Maggie wondered how the family would react when they saw her. It was almost a year to the day since she’d left them. Dear Sadie had kept her in the picture. Most eloquently, too. But it wasn’t the same as speaking to or seeing them.

  She hoped they’d understand now why she’d had to go.

  As she pulled her case into the arrivals area the row of taxis outside the door beckoned. She knew she could have asked Paddy to come, but it had seemed the wrong thing to do. She needed to arrive unannounced and hope for the best.

  ‘Wicklow, please,’ she said to the driver.

  ‘Wicklow? In this snow?’ He looked at her as if she were crazy.

  The freezing temperature was shocking after Australia. So was the awful attitude. She moved to the next car and bent down to speak to the driver.

  ‘You can’t do that. I’m first in line so you have to talk to me,’ said the rude man.

  ‘I don’t have to do anything,’ Maggie shot back. ‘You were obnoxious. This journey is going to cost me a lot. As you pointed out so helpfully, it’s snowing so it’s probably going to take a while too. I’d rather sit in a car with someone less cranky.’

  The next man was delighted with the fare. ‘I live fairly close to Wicklow myself so I’ll drop you home and knock off for Christmas,’ he said, taking her bag. ‘I’ve the heating turned up in the cab so it’ll keep you nice and warm.’

  Maggie sank into the back seat and closed her eyes. In the next hour she’d be back at Huntersbrook. For the last few months she’d woken in the depths of the night and thought she was at home. She’d even put her feet on the floor several times expecting to make her way to the big old kitchen only to realise she was thousands of miles from her Aga and familiar things.

 
The emails from Sadie had kept her going. At least she knew they were all fine, if still cross with her.

  When she’d heard about the farmers having to pull their sheep from the land, then about the dropping numbers at hunts and horses in the livery yard, she had been worried. But she had been sure that Holly and Paddy would find a way to keep things going.

  When she’d heard that Pippa had been attacked by some maniac and Joey was lying smashed in a hospital bed, though, that had been it.

  The taxi driver must’ve assumed she was suffering with jetlag and thankfully left her alone. He flicked on the radio and hummed along as one Christmas song after another flooded the car.

  When Chris Rea’s gravelly voice began to croon ‘Driving Home For Christmas’, Maggie had to fight back tears: the song told the story of someone making their way back to the warmth of their loved ones.

  She couldn’t wait to see their faces.

  As Huntersbrook came into view, her heart skipped a beat. There had been so many times over the past year when she’d wondered if she’d ever see this vista again.

  Now that she was here she was overwhelmed with gratitude.

  ‘Are you all right, love?’ the driver asked, as he stood in the inky night air holding the door open.

  ‘I’ll be just fine now,’ she said, with a shaky smile. ‘Thank you.’ She handed him a wad of cash, including a generous tip.

  ‘Will I leave your bag on the doorstep?’ he asked.

  ‘Yes, please, and merry Christmas,’ she said. She’d wait for him to leave before she went inside, she thought.

  The red brake-lights had disappeared before she’d plucked up enough courage to go inside. She’d spent all her life here, except the past eleven and a half months. Yet she was wondering what the right thing to do might be. Should she ring the bell or turn the large brass knob and walk in? Unless Paddy had pulled across the top and bottom bolts inside, the door should be unlocked. Seeing the lights twinkling from the hall tree through the small glass panes on either side of the door, she realised they were all in the living room, gathered around the fire.

  In the end her longing to see the faces she loved spurred her on. She turned the handle and the door opened. The muffled sound of chatter and laughter hit her, along with the pine scent of the tree.

  Leaving her suitcase against the wall, she walked stealthily towards the living room and opened the door.

  ‘Merry Christmas, one and all,’ she said, with as much conviction as she could muster.

  32

  O Holy Night!

  The silence in the room was deafening.

  ‘Now I know how John Wayne must’ve felt every time he walked into the wrong saloon.’

  ‘Mum!’ Holly was on her feet and rushing to embrace her.

  ‘Maggie.’ Paddy had joined them.

  Lainey, Joey and Pippa had frozen where they were. The guests looked from one face to another, not sure what to say or do.

  ‘It’s good to be home,’ Maggie said simply. As she dabbed her eyes, she allowed Paddy to lead her to the chair he’d just vacated.

  ‘There’s a million things I want to ask you,’ Holly whispered, as she dropped to the floor in front of Maggie’s chair.

  ‘I know, love,’ she said, stroking her daughter’s hair. ‘It’s wonderful to see you again, my darling girl.’ Her smile was warm and lit up her thin features. ‘Joey, you poor darling. What on earth have you done to yourself?’ He was covered with plaster of Paris and sitting in a wheelchair.

  ‘I could ask you the same thing,’ Joey said, as tears slid down his cheeks. ‘You look terrible.’

  ‘Now I’m being insulted I know for sure that I’m home,’ she said.

  ‘Grandma, why didn’t you tell us?’ Lainey asked. Still unable to move from her spot on the sofa, she peered across the room at Maggie and the unquestionable side effects of rigorous chemotherapy.

  Maggie was bald, pale and half the woman she’d been just a year previously.

  ‘Why on earth didn’t you tell us?’ Lainey repeated, as she burst out crying.

  ‘I had my reasons.’

  ‘Mum, I can’t believe you did this,’ Holly said, sobbing now. ‘Why did you keep us all in the dark? What made you think you needed to do it alone?’

  ‘I did what felt right at the time,’ Maggie said.

  ‘But where have you been?’ Pippa asked. ‘Did you actually go to Australia or not?’

  ‘Yes, I did. Sid was and still is a very welcome addition to my life.’

  ‘Did you know you were ill when you left?’ Holly asked.

  ‘Yes, love. I found out just before Christmas last year. It was secondary stage ovarian cancer.’ She sighed. ‘The doctors were fairly positive about my prognosis.’

  ‘So why didn’t you let us know?’ Holly asked again.

  ‘I’d met Sid by then. I told him.’ She smiled at the memory. ‘He lost his wife to cancer many years ago and has been doing amazing fundraising work ever since. He knew of a wonderful hospital close to his vineyard and told me he’d arrange everything for my care.’

  ‘But we would’ve done anything to help if you’d told us,’ Holly whispered.

  ‘I know, Holly. I know.’

  ‘But you felt more comfortable about going through this with Sid?’ Paddy threw her a lifeline.

  ‘Yes,’ she said. ‘He was unfazed by the diagnosis. He understood what the doctors were saying with regard to the surgery and treatment. He made me feel safe.’

  ‘Where is he now?’ Pippa asked.

  ‘In Oz. He’ll come over at the end of January to see how I am.’

  ‘Are you planning on going back?’ Holly asked.

  ‘I’ll see,’ Maggie said.

  ‘Skye, Jay and Scott, we should all go and get some beers for everyone,’ Jules said. ‘I’m Lainey’s friend, Jules,’ she said, holding her hand out to Maggie. ‘It’s lovely to meet you but I reckon you all need some privacy for a while. We’ll be in the kitchen,’ she said.

  ‘Mum, this is Skye, and this is Scott,’ Holly introduced them. ‘You remember Pippa’s boyfriend Jay, don’t you?’

  ‘Of course I do,’ Maggie said. ‘Hello, everyone. I’m sorry for barging in and upsetting your lovely evening like this. It’s not usually so dramatic at Huntersbrook on Christmas Eve,’ she said, giggling through her tears.

  ‘I think we might all need something a bit stronger than beer,’ Paddy said. ‘If we’re really not allowed to do any washing up, I’ll swig directly from the brandy bottle.’

  ‘Beer would be good, I reckon,’ Scott clambered to his feet.

  ‘I recognise that accent,’ Maggie said.

  ‘Yeah. Sadie mentioned to me where you were and I’m from down the road,’ he said shyly. ‘Well, a couple of thousand miles down the road. Anyway, come on, you two.’ He, Skye, Jules and Jay left the room to get the drinks.

  ‘What’s the story with your chemotherapy now?’ Lainey asked, unable to stop staring at her grandmother’s bald head.

  ‘I’m finished. It was a long haul. I did six months of chemo initially, followed by surgery.’ She laughed. ‘You’d think eighty-year-old ovaries would just lie there and be quiet, wouldn’t you?’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Well, mine didn’t so out they came. More chemo, followed by four months of radiation.’

  ‘Oh, Mum,’ Holly choked back fresh tears, ‘I can’t believe you’ve had such a hideous time. And I had the cheek to be here, seething over the notion that you’d left us all in the lurch.’

  ‘What else were you expected to think?’ she said evenly. ‘I knew you’d be angry. I knew you’d all be hurt and cursing me. But I thought that was better than having you worrying.’

  ‘Maggie, let me get you a drink,’ Paddy said, suddenly realising she must be parched and starving after her journey.

  ‘Do you know what I’d love?’ she asked, as her eyes creased up at the corners. ‘A lovely cup of Barry’s tea and a Tayto-crisp sandwich.’

  ‘Coming right up,�
�� he said, and bent to kiss her cheek. ‘It’s so good to see you.’

  ‘And you, my pet.’

  As Paddy left the room, the others fired more questions her way.

  Ten minutes later Maggie was exhausted. ‘I feel like I’m on Mastermind,’ she said. At that moment, Paddy came back into the room with a tray. ‘Let me have my cup of tea – oh, Paddy, you diamond.’ He passed her a plate with the Tayto sandwich. ‘While I’m being fed and watered, tell me what’s been going on. Starting with Mr Bashed-Up.’ She gestured at Joey. ‘It’s like a soap opera around here.’

  They did a little news round-up, then explained who the visitors were.

  ‘We’ve the neighbours coming along tomorrow as well,’ Holly said. ‘So we’ll have a full house.’ Suddenly she was riven with sobs.

  ‘What is it?’ Maggie almost choked on her tea.

  ‘This could well be our last Christmas at Huntersbrook.’ She pulled a tissue out of her sleeve, wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

  ‘What?’ everyone said in unison, horror written across each face.

  ‘This is a nightmare,’ Joey said.

  ‘What is it with this family?’ Lainey had stood up, furious. ‘Why have you all felt the need to keep secrets? Isn’t love meant to be built on trust?’

  ‘Lainey!’ Holly was angry now too. ‘Grandma deserves a little more respect and so do I.’

  ‘Really, Mum?’ Lainey was blazing. ‘Respect has to be earned. I’m devastated Grandma didn’t choose to share her illness with us.’ She turned to Maggie. ‘I know I’d never be Mum’s first port of call for a confidante. I’ve learned to live with that. But I thought you and I were close.’

  ‘We were. We are,’ Maggie said, and began to cry. ‘I didn’t want to hurt you, love.’

  ‘Well, you’ve made a complete bags of that,’ Lainey said. ‘Sorry, Grandma, but you have. Mum, you’re worse. At least Grandma has the excuse of being on the other side of the world. You’ve been here and hiding the truth about our home from us all. We’re adults! We had a right to know.’