Driving Home for Christmas

by Emma Hannigan

  ‘We all need to take a chill pill,’ Pippa said. ‘What’s done is done. Grandma, I get why you went away.’ She paced up and down. ‘It was your way of coping and, hey, who are we to shoot you for that? Mum and Dad, we need to put our heads together as a family and try to figure out what we can do to save Huntersbrook.’

  ‘There’s not a lot we can do,’ Paddy said. ‘We own this place but the running costs are crippling us. The revenue from the farms and horses is dwindling – it just isn’t enough to sustain us any longer. We thought we had another person coming with a horse for livery the other day, but it turns out we’re too expensive. There just isn’t the money around right now.’

  ‘How much would you need?’ Lainey asked.

  ‘More than any of us has,’ Paddy said.

  ‘Not necessarily,’ Joey said. ‘In true Grandma logic, there’s usually a reason why things happen. Now I know why I fell down that hole and smashed myself to bits!’ He grinned. ‘So I could earn the money to keep Huntersbrook.’

  ‘What are you on about?’ Pippa asked.

  ‘I got a message from my boss the other night. A text I stupidly ignored. I was too busy wallowing in the fact that my ex-girlfriend is a heartless cow.’

  ‘True, but what’s that got to do with money?’ Pippa asked.

  ‘Clive’s done a bit of delving on my behalf and now I have an amazing personal-injuries lawyer at my disposal. Clive took the liberty of contacting him on my behalf.’

  ‘Go on,’ Paddy said.

  ‘They reckon I’m in line for a massive pay-out. It seems the council are wholly liable for what happened. They should’ve covered up the hole I fell into.’

  ‘We couldn’t take your money,’ Holly said immediately. ‘That kind of cash would set you up for life.’

  ‘Maybe you won’t need all of it,’ Joey said. ‘Besides, I could work something out. Perhaps I could buy part of this place or something,’ he suggested.

  ‘I need to sit down,’ Holly said faintly.

  There was so much to take in. Less than an hour ago they had been eating fish and chips with nothing but a fire to contemplate. Now they were trying to solve the problems of the world according to the Craig family in five minutes flat.

  ‘I agree with your mother,’ Paddy said gruffly. ‘We’re not taking your money.’

  ‘Don’t be so bloody stupid!’ Pippa said. ‘If Joey has a bag of cash and you need some to keep this place, then it’s a no-brainer.’

  ‘Precisely!’ Lainey agreed. ‘None of us would ever allow Huntersbrook to be sold unless there was no way of saving it.’

  ‘It’s not your problem,’ Holly said, through gritted teeth.

  ‘It’s not just your problem any more either, Mum,’ Joey said firmly. ‘We Craigs stick together. You think you’re stubborn? Well, I’ve got the stubborn streak coursing through my veins too, you know.’

  ‘I’ve had it,’ Maggie conceded. ‘I’m going to have to hit the sack. Tomorrow is another day. A very special one at that. We can’t fix everything this minute so I’d like to suggest we all try to enjoy tomorrow and take it from there.’

  ‘I know it’s easier said than done, but I agree with Maggie,’ Paddy said. ‘We have guests huddled like refugees in the kitchen, and the woes of the Craig family aren’t going to be solved this evening. We should make the most of Christmas – especially now we’re all together.’

  ‘I agree,’ Lainey said. ‘If this is our last at Huntersbrook, so be it. None of us wants that, but seeing Grandma and looking around the room right now, the only thing we should be concentrating on is us.’

  ‘I’ll go with that,’ Pippa said, standing up and hugging Maggie. ‘I’ll go and get our friends, if they haven’t all fled back to Dublin!’

  Maggie kissed her family and allowed Holly to bring her to her room.

  ‘Sleep well, Mum. I’m so glad you’re home,’ Holly said. ‘I won’t bleat on at you, but I wish you’d told me.’

  ‘I did what I thought was right,’ Maggie answered.

  ‘I know you did, Mum.’

  ‘I need to sleep now, darling. I’m still low in energy and the journey has taken its toll on me.’

  ‘All right,’ Holly said. ‘I’ll just go and get your favourite hot-water bottle.’

  Holly felt like she was dreaming as she found Maggie’s cream hot-water bottle with the sheepskin cover and filled it. By the time she got back to her room Maggie had changed into her flannel nightdress and pulled on some bed socks. ‘It’s seriously cold in here,’ she said, shivering.

  ‘Sorry,’ Holly apologised. ‘I would’ve turned on the heating in here if I’d known.’

  Maggie put her hand on her daughter’s arm. ‘It doesn’t matter. Thank you for this,’ she said, taking the bottle. ‘Forgive me for going to bed but I need to.’

  ‘Night, Mum.’

  ‘Night, Holly.’

  As she went downstairs, Holly was reeling. She could hardly believe everything that had just happened. How could she have been so selfish? She might’ve known Mum would never leave Huntersbrook without good reason. She’d been so caught up in her own anger and self-pity she’d forgotten to see the bigger picture.

  As she walked into the living room Lainey was giving their guests some background to the evening’s dramatic events. ‘And she met Sid and suddenly she was gone …’

  ‘That’s pretty heavy stuff, Lainz,’ Jules said. ‘It’s really special for you all that she’s back for Christmas.’

  ‘Holly,’ Skye began, ‘we were just saying in the kitchen, things have changed for you guys. We have no problem with heading back to Dublin. Jules is welcome to join me.’

  ‘Absolutely not!’ Holly squawked. ‘I’d die if you all left. You’re so thoughtful to say that but we’re delighted to have you here with us.’

  ‘I still think we could do with a stiff drink,’ Paddy said, and went to the old-fashioned drinks trolley. ‘Who’s for a whiskey or brandy – a Bailey’s, even?’ Looking at Holly, he winked. ‘I’ll go Greek and smash all the glasses when we’re finished so you don’t have any washing-up.’

  ‘I’ll have one or all of the above,’ Joey said. ‘What a crazy Christmas this has turned out to be.’

  ‘I’ll grab some ice from the freezer,’ Lainey offered. As she left the room, Holly followed her.

  In the kitchen, putting tumblers on a tray she wondered what she could say to her elder daughter. ‘Lainey,’ she began.

  ‘What?’

  ‘I know you’re angry with me and Grandma. You explained that you hate secrets and I understand why you’re so cross. But you said something earlier that really upset me,’ Holly ventured.

  ‘What was it?’

  ‘You said you don’t expect me to confide in you. I didn’t realise you felt so disconnected from me.’

  ‘Didn’t you, Mum?’ Lainey’s eyes were flashing. ‘I don’t believe that for one second and neither do you. Face it, you’ve never acted the same way around me as you do with Joey and Pippa.’

  There was a deathly silence as Holly squeezed her eyes shut in an effort not to cry. She cleared her throat. ‘I was very unwell for a long time after you were born,’ she began. ‘I couldn’t eat or sleep. I couldn’t bond with you. I wanted to desperately. I loved you but I wasn’t able to be your mother.’

  ‘Why?’ Lainey whispered. ‘What did I do that was so awful?’

  ‘Oh, honey, you didn’t do anything,’ Holly said. ‘It was me. I had crippling post-natal depression. It wasn’t spoken about back then. I thought I was evil. I felt I was being punished for some dreadful unknown crime I’d committed. It was the worst time of my life. Grandma took you under her wing. Don’t get me wrong, I was so grateful that she was here and able to care for you, but as a result I lost you.’

  ‘But you were fine after Joey and Pippa’s births,’ Lainey said doubtfully.

  ‘It was five years before I could face the thought of another child. But when I was pregnant with your brother, m
y doctor realised what had happened and I received treatment.’

  ‘I see,’ Lainey said.

  ‘I know this might be too little too late, but I’m sorry, Lainey. I’m sorry I never told you. I’m sorry I stood aside and wasn’t there the way I should have been. I’m sorry you still feel different from the others. I’m sorry.’

  As Holly dropped her head into her hands and cried, Lainey did something she couldn’t ever remember doing before. She walked over to her mother, put her arms around her and held her tightly.

  ‘This isn’t exactly the way I’d planned on spending Christmas,’ Holly said eventually.

  ‘No, but isn’t it good to get it all out?’ Lainey asked.

  ‘I suppose,’ Holly managed.

  ‘Mum, let’s try to move on now. The barrier between us isn’t made of stone.’

  Holly felt a rush of love for her eldest child. Many would have deemed it thirty years late, but Holly vowed she was going to make up for the lost years.

  33

  Grandma Got Run

  Over by a Reindeer

  Maggie crawled into her old bed as Holly shut the door. Now that she was alone she allowed herself to wallow in the emotion she’d fought so hard to hold back. Tears flowed over the hot-water bottle in her arms. The familiarity of home was so comforting.

  She sat up in bed and knew there was one person she needed to speak to. Reaching for the phone on her bedside table, she dialled the number.

  ‘Sadie?’ she said quietly.

  ‘Maggie! Where are you, girl?’

  ‘I’m home, Sadie.’

  ‘Since when?’ Sadie asked, and offered to come over to Huntersbrook there and then. When Maggie had convinced her not to risk it in the dark, Sadie proceeded to bombard her with questions.

  Eventually Maggie said, ‘Will we see you here tomorrow?’

  ‘Of course.’

  ‘That’s good. But there’s something you should know.’ Maggie told her friend about her illness. ‘I want to thank you, Sadie. You were the only one who accepted my decision and kept in touch regardless. Not for one second did you judge me or push me away.’

  ‘Of course I wouldn’t. Haven’t we known one another too long for that?’

  ‘That’s not the point,’ she continued. ‘You didn’t know why I left. All you knew was that I was trying to be happy. Not only were you pleased for me but you supported me and kept me in the loop.’

  ‘Well, I was glad to do it, my friend, and now that I know what a time of it you were having, I’m all the more pleased.’

  ‘Holly and the children are stunned by my surprise return,’ Maggie explained. ‘They’re shattered about the cancer. But I know we’ll get over it. I’ve no regrets about the way I did things. I’d do the same again if I’d the year over.’

  ‘Why? They’d all have wanted to help. They’d have been on the phone every day and sending you more emails than you could reply to. You know that’s true, don’t you?’

  ‘I do,’ Maggie said softly. ‘But I also know that if I’d told them I’d never have gone at all.’

  ‘And you’re glad you went,’ Sadie said.

  ‘Oh, yes. It was a hard year, but it was made as painless as possible by the warmth of the breeze, fine wine, and the love of a good man.’

  ‘Will Sid come here to you or do you plan on heading back down under?’

  ‘We haven’t decided. Once you told me about Joey’s accident, and I read between the lines that finances had become more strained for Holly and Paddy, I knew I needed to come back. Even for a while.’

  They chatted for a little longer, then said goodnight.

  Maggie sank down into the enveloping softness of her duvet. The last time she’d lain in this bed she’d wondered if she’d ever see it again. When she’d gone to Australia, she’d tried to convince herself that she would survive and return feeling well and rested. But there’d been no guarantee.

  As she drifted into sleep, she had never felt so glad to be alive.

  34

  We Wish You

  a Merry Christmas

  Pippa didn’t care that she wasn’t meant to be up at six in the morning. The fact that they were all adults didn’t mean they had to be sensible, did it? If she’d learned anything from last night it was that time was precious.

  ‘It’s Christmas!’ Pippa shouted, jumping on poor Jay. ‘Get your lazy arse out of bed. Let’s go!’ She ran round the house, flinging open all the bedroom doors to make sure everyone was awake. ‘There’s not a minute to waste!’

  Paddy and Holly emerged from their room on the top floor, tying the belts of their dressing-gowns.

  ‘Bedheads, ahoy!’ Pippa said, hugging them. Then she was hurtling down the stairs.

  ‘How do you stick her?’ Paddy chuckled to a bedraggled Jay.

  ‘Come on, you,’ Pippa said, bursting into Joey’s room and tugging at him to get up. ‘Into your chair and let’s be having you.’

  ‘This is crazy madness. Why have you woken us all at this hour?’

  ‘It’s Christmas!’ she screeched into his face.

  ‘I’ll ease you all into the day with some coffee,’ Holly announced to the bleary-eyed procession.

  ‘I’ll help,’ Skye said, padding into the kitchen while the others gravitated towards the living room.

  Pippa plugged in the tree lights and Paddy gave the fire a poke – it was still salvageable from the night before.

  ‘Let’s get some fresh logs on,’ Jay said. ‘I’m very into this cosy fire thing you have going on here, Paddy.’

  ‘Morning, all! Merry Christmas!’ Maggie had appeared. ‘I’m glad to see that Pippa is still bossing everyone around.’ She beamed at her granddaughter.

  ‘Good morning, Mum!’ Holly called, as she and Skye appeared with trays of coffee and bacon sandwiches.

  ‘Morning, love. Merry Christmas.’

  ‘Okay, you’ve to open my pressies first,’ Lainey insisted.

  ‘This is intriguing,’ Holly said, feeling hers to try to guess what it was.

  As each person opened a onesie the atmosphere lifted from half asleep to frenzied.

  ‘Dad, you look gorgeous dressed as a Dalmatian!’ Lainey laughed. ‘Turn around and put your hood up!’

  Jules was like a marshmallow in her pink snowflake version, while Holly and Skye made spontaneous miaows and moos as a marmalade cat and a Friesian cow respectively.

  ‘I’m at a bit of a loss here,’ Pippa said, looking mildly confused.

  ‘Why?’ Lainey wondered.

  ‘What noise does a reindeer make?’ she asked, as her furry antlers swung down and whacked her on the chin.

  ‘You’ve got us there!’ Jay said.

  Joey’s was a brown bear, which he couldn’t model, so he passed it to Maggie. ‘Grandma, do the honours, if you will,’ he said.

  ‘Gladly,’ she said, pulling on the suit amid giggles.

  Lainey had bought Jay a Santa suit, correctly guessing he and Pippa might be back together for Christmas. He decided to act out his role responsibly, scooping up a pile of presents from under the tree and sitting himself on an armchair.

  Pippa’s games and selection boxes went down a treat.

  ‘We’ll have a marathon after lunch!’ Holly exclaimed. ‘Once we’ve drunk too much they’ll be great craic.’

  Twenty minutes later there was a four-foot pile of wrapping paper and a sea of smiling faces.

  ‘Just before you all get dressed,’ Holly said, looking devious, ‘I’ve a special pressie for each of you.’ She produced a parcel for everyone in the room. She was dying to see how each member of the family would receive her gift.

  ‘More clothes!’ Pippa said. ‘Fantastic.’

  ‘Open it first,’ Holly advised.

  ‘Oh, my God, I’ve seen it all now!’ Pippa giggled. ‘What happened to his head? Is he melting?’

  ‘They all look deranged!’ Holly said, weak with laughter.

  ‘Where on earth did you get them?’ Laine
y asked.

  ‘Don’t tell me! It was one of those crazy websites selling nostalgic stuff from the seventies, wasn’t it?’ Joey asked.

  ‘No!’ Holly said.

  ‘I think you’d better explain!’ Paddy said, laughing.

  ‘I got into a conversation with Do Gooder Gloria. I had a bit of a defining moment and realised that I wanted to help with the local elderly people.’

  ‘Don’t try and blame this on Gloria,’ Pippa said, wagging a finger at her mother.

  ‘She said they wanted to knit and needed wool so I gave them enough to make each of you a sweater and more. Gloria told me she already had patterns. I thought I was helping and that I had the answer to my Christmas-gift quandary. They made me twenty,’ Holly said.

  ‘Twenty?’ Pippa yelled.

  ‘There were lots of elderly folk involved and most of them practically knit in their sleep, they love it so much. The idea was a roaring success so they made loads.’

  ‘So there are more?’ Joey asked.

  ‘’Fraid so,’ Holly said, still shaking with laughter, ‘and each one is worse than the last.’

  ‘Well, it’s good wool,’ Maggie said, stifling a giggle. ‘I could easily unravel them and re-knit them into something we could actually wear in public.’

  ‘Great minds think alike, Mum,’ Holly said.

  Lainey had to lie on the rug she laughed so much when she opened hers. It was fire-engine red with what should have been Santa Claus on the front but he had three eyes and no beard.

  ‘Do we have to wear these?’ Pippa asked, once she could speak again.

  ‘Yes, you do!’ Holly said, trying to look fierce.

  ‘I’m so glad I broke my arm now,’ Joey chortled.

  ‘Tell you what, if you all put them on for a group photo I’ll allow you to take them off afterwards,’ Holly said, compromising. ‘And you don’t get away with it that easily,’ she told Joey. ‘I’ll pull one over your head and you can improvise for the duration of the picture.’

  ‘Deal,’ they all agreed.

  At this point Sadie arrived and made a dash for Maggie. ‘Give me a look at you … Holy God, you look shocking,’ she said, tutting.