Winter of Faith Collection

by Rachel Stoltzfus

  John paused, knowing what he was about to say could be considered cruel. “I am not interested in building a life and sharing it with you. You do not interest me in that way. Not at all. Please leave me alone. I am going to continue courting Miriam. God willing, when the time is right, we will decide to marry. If that time comes, we will set up our own home and have our own kinner,” John finished, feeling breathless and wondering if he had gone too far.

  Because Esther had become even more angry. John’s breath caught in his chest as he saw her face grow splotchy-red. Looking at her posture, he saw her tense up. Looking at her hands, he saw them clenched into fists. His eyes swung from Esther to his daed and Mr. Beiler. His heart thumped crazily in his chest as he began squeezing Miriam’s forearm in warning.

  Both fathers saw the same things that John noticed – Esther’s tension, clenched fists and the madness in her eyes. They both sensed danger at the same time and, pushing their chairs back at the same moment, they stood, readying themselves for action.

  Esther’s mamm and daed sat in their chairs, stunned by the anger and violence they now saw in their daughter. Micah placed his hand on Rebekah’s shoulder as Joseph and Samuel stood up.

  Bishop Stoltzfus moved next to John’s and Miriam’s fathers, ready for anything.

  Esther finally tore her eyes away from John and Miriam. Looking wildly around the large kitchen for something, anything she could use, her gaze landed on the wide, deep silverware drawer. Running to it in two long jumps, she wrenched the drawer open and shoved forks, spoons and knives around, looking for . . .

  Ah! There it is! This will convince him of my love! Wrapping her trembling hand around the wooden handle of a large knife, she pulled it out and whirled around. She held the knife above her head with the point aimed right at Miriam.

  Letting out a loud, high-pitched scream, she rushed at Miriam, intending to bury the knife deep in her perceived rival’s chest.

  Miriam pushed herself back in the chair. I’m going to die! Lord, I’m not ready!

  John’s eyes widened as he saw the extent of Esther’s insanity. Wrapping his arms around Miriam, he curled around her, protecting her.

  Joseph Beiler and Samuel Fisher simultaneously bounded forward and grabbed Esther’s arms before she could reach her target. Joseph grimaced as the knife plunged home, deep into his upper arm.

  “Joseph! His arm!” Sarah shrieked running to him.

  Bishop Stoltzfus jumped up and slid in between Esther and Joseph.

  “Go, sit down. I have her,” he told Joseph.

  Sarah grabbed Joseph and made him sit down as she tore the sleeve of his shirt so she could assess the stab wound. Emily helped her.

  “Mrs. Zook, go call the ambulance now! Your daughter and Mr. Beiler need medical assistance!” ordered the bishop.

  Mrs. Zook was frozen in her chair, unable to believe the violence that had just taken place in her own kitchen.

  “Go, wife! Make the call!” shouted Micah as he helped the three men restrain Esther, made strong in her insanity.

  As the kitchen erupted in mayhem, John continued crouching over Miriam, refusing to expose her to any danger. Instead, he turned his head so he could keep an eye on what was happening with Esther.

  “Stay here. My daed, the bishop and her daed have her restrained, but she could get loose,” he murmured to Miriam.

  Miriam was unable to move. Instead, she whispered, “OK.”

  Emily, after looking at Joseph’s arm wound, moved by the men who were holding Esther immobile.

  “Sit her down. Keep your hands on her arms and don’t let her stand up,” she told the men.

  All three of them struggled to pull Esther to an empty chair. Determined to get to Miriam and harm her, she was difficult to budge. Finally, they were able to force her to sit down. All three men kept their hands on her shoulders and arms. Mr. Zook positioned his hands on top of Esther’s knees so she could not jump back up.

  “Let me stand up! I have . . . I have to show Miriam Beiler that she doesn’t steal what belongs to me! Let me go!” Esther shrieked.

  Because of Ephrata’s distance from the nearest hospital, it took about twenty-five minutes for an ambulance to arrive at the Zook farm. Pounding on the door, the paramedics waited.

  Emily ran to the front door and let the paramedics into the house. As they walked to the kitchen, she briefly explained what had happened and the behaviors Esther was exhibiting.

  “She stabbed the other girl’s father. She’s been screaming that the young man she wants was ‘stolen’ by the other girl? So, are you saying she’s mentally ill?”

  “Yes. She’s being irrational and demanding that the young man stop courting the other girl and begin courting her.”

  “OK, we’ll take over here . . . uh, we were only told about one patient. If she’s dangerous, there’s no way we can transport him in the same vehicle,” the paramedic said as he noticed Joseph’s injury.

  “We have his bleeding under control. We’ll take him to the doctor ourselves. Miss Zook needs your help more,” Emily said.

  “OK. Miss Zook, how are you today?”

  “Let me go! She stole him from me! I have to show her that she will pay for her actions! Let me go!”

  The paramedics observed Esther’s struggles to break loose. The lead paramedic looked at her face and eyes. Seeing her wide, staring gaze, he dropped to his haunches.

  “OK, Miss Zook, I’m going to ask you some questions. Can you tell me the day and date?”

  “Ya, it is Saturday, April 21st.”

  “Where are you?”

  “Being held as a prisoner in her home. She wants to lock me up so she can continue to distract my husband.”

  “What is your name?”

  “Esther Fisher.”

  “Are you married or single?”

  “Married. John Fisher is my husband. We . . . we are to have a boppli,” Esther said, with a shy, yet mad smile.

  “‘Boppli?’ What is that?” the paramedic asked.

  “Pennsylvania Dutch for ‘baby,’” Emily said, standing close by.

  “Ah, thank you. Where are Miss . . . uh, Zook’s parents?”

  “Right here. I’m holding her legs down,” said Micah, trying not to cry.

  “Uh, I have to ask you a question that might be hard for you to answer. I apologize in advance, but it’s necessary. Do you know if she has ever . . . been with a man . . . in that way?” asked the paramedic.

  “You mean, in the Biblical sense? Nee! No! Never! She has never courted!” responded Micah angrily.

  “OK, then. I’m sorry, but she needs to be taken to the hospital and given a mental health evaluation. Given that she’s rather . . . confused about person, place and time, she’ll be involuntarily committed to the mental health unit for that evaluation. It’s likely she’ll be put on a mental health hold for about five days. Depending upon the diagnosis, if any, she might be prescribed medications and discharged. Or she might be admitted longer-term, to a mental health hospital so she can get the help she needs,” the paramedic finished.

  “Oh! No! She can’t be . . . she can’t be!” Rebekah Zook began to cry helplessly.

  Emily and Sarah wrapped their arms around her, shushing her and rocking her back and forth.

  “It is OK. If she is mentally ill, she cannot help it. She’ll get the help she needs,” Sarah said softly.

  Rebekah heard the hope in Sarah’s words. She continued sobbing, but nodded her understanding.

  “OK, take her to the hospital. I just don’t . . . don’t want her to be a danger to anyone,” she said, wiping tears out of her eyes.

  The paramedics descended upon Esther picking her up and forcing her to walk to the stretcher that had been set up on the by-now-dark porch. Lifting her up, they buckled the straps around her torso, ankles and wrists, securing her.

  “Mamm! John! What’s happening? Husband, make them unstrap me so I can make your supper!” she screamed irrationally.

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bsp; Both of her parents turned away from the painful scene, their faces crumpling in grief.

  Now that Esther no longer posed a threat to the others in the house, John slowly unwrapped himself from around Miriam. Looking around, he paled as he saw the blood on Joseph’s shirt.

  Miriam gasped, seeing her father’s injury.

  “Daed, are you all right?”

  “Ya, I’m fine, daughter. Your mamm and Mrs. Fisher will have me set to rights in no time,” Joseph said, nodding his head. “What’s important is that you are not hurt. John, are you OK?”

  “Ya, denki. Shaken, but I am all right,” John said, forcing the quaver out of his voice.

  “Well, now we have our answer. Sadly, mental illness was the cause of her belief that you, Mr. Fisher, were courting her and that you intended to marry her. Mr. and Mrs. Zook, we will pray that Miss Zook gets the help she so badly needs, that she makes a swift recovery and returns to your home,” the bishop said softly. “Mr. Beiler, make sure you get that wound cleaned and dressed. You do not need an infection.”

  The Fishers, Beilers and bishop all returned to their homes, allowing the Zooks to take in the events that had pulled their daughter out of their home.

  Sarah and Miriam treated Joseph’s arm wound at home, wrapping it in a gauze bandage. He took acetaminophen for the pain and went to bed so he could return to his carpentry work the next day. Miriam, still quivering inside, sat in the kitchen, holding her mamm’s hand.

  In the Fisher home, John ran to the bathroom, where he was sick, before he came back to the kitchen to sit with his parents.

  “Mamm, I never suspected that she was . . . “

  “Mentally ill? None of us did, John. Certainly, I never did. I just thought she was being particularly stubborn about the Ordnung and its provisions on courting. Do not feel guilty. She has been suffering for a long time. We can thank God that she is going to get help from the Englischer hospital that she so badly needs,” Emily said.

  “Ya,” John said, feeling better. “I did everything I knew to do – telling her I wasn’t . . .”

  “Interested. Ya, John. I was there. You handled things correctly. We didn’t know until almost too late, that Miss Zook suffers from a mental illness of some kind. Blame that illness and not yourself, son. Continue your baptismal instruction, take your kneeling vow and prepare to marry Miss Beiler,” Samuel said as he rubbed his face. “I am very tired and we have a long day tomorrow, preparing for the harvest. I suggest that we all go to bed. It has been a very long and stressful day.”

  “Husband, I want to give John some tea to settle his stomach. I will be up later,” Emily said, pouring water into the tea kettle.

  “Ya. OK. Good night.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Life slowly returned to normal in the Beiler and Fisher households. Miriam made steady progress on the final quilt for her wealthy Englischer customers. Her instruction for baptism continued with Bishop Stoltzfus. Joseph finished making the bookcase for his customer and began constructing a dining room set for his newest customers.

  In the Fisher household, John finally came to terms with the facts of Esther Zook’s mental health issues, which helped him to realize that he wasn’t responsible for her actions. As he slowly came back to his usual good mood, he was able to throw himself fully into helping his daed with the large corn harvest they were planning.

  “Mr. Fisher, I think you – and Miss Beiler – are ready to be baptized. You have reviewed your Bible study and developed a very good understanding of Christ and his love for the world. When you request to take your Kneeling Vow, your request will be approved with no disagreement between me and the district’s deacons,” predicted the bishop.

  “Denki, bishop! This is good news! I will tell Miriam the next time we court,” John said with a broad grin across his handsome face.

  And, in the Zook household, Micah and Rebekah learned that their daughter would be kept in the mental hospital for the foreseeable future. After getting a ride to the mental hospital to visit with Esther, they met with her doctor and social worker.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Zook, we have a diagnosis for Esther. She is suffering from schizophrenia – with symptoms of paranoia. This means that she lacks a chemical in her brain that would allow her to think rationally. She believes that others plot against her. Fortunately, there are medications and therapies available that can help her return to a normal thought pattern. She’ll be able to resume a normal life – as long as she takes her medication faithfully every day,” the psychiatrist said.

  The Zooks reeled as they heard the news. Hearing that she could have a normal life, they breathed sighs of relief.

  “How long does she have to take this medication?” asked Micah.

  “For the rest of her life. Because she lacks a certain chemical in her brain, that medication substitutes for it. If she doesn’t take it, she runs the risk of the same disordered thinking and paranoia that brought her in here,” the doctor said.

  “Oh,” said Micah.

  “You . . . don’t carry health insurance, do you?”

  “No. It is forbidden . . . is this medication expensive?”

  “The form of medication I am prescribing is an older, reliable medication. It gives good results and has few side effects. Because it’s been on the market for several years, it will cost you less. If you visit one of these stores . . . “here, the doctor gave Micah a piece of paper with the names of two stores . . . “You should be able to get her monthly prescriptions for a very low amount.”

  “Denki. Can we . . . can we see her?”

  “Of course!”

  How is she?” asked Rebekah.

  “Much better,” answered the social worker. “She’s aware of who and where she is. She isn’t experiencing the sane disordered thoughts that brought her in here. But she’s not completely back as you know her. That will take another couple weeks until the medication reaches a therapeutic level in her body. Once you see her, she’ll be able to follow your conversation, but she may need to be brought back to the present time.”

  “Does she . . . know that she isn’t married to John Fisher?”

  “We are working on that. She clearly likes this young man. Deeply, in fact. For that reason, I am going to ask that she stay here in the hospital until she understands that there was no relationship between her and this young man. Until then, she could still pose a danger to him and his . . . girlfriend?”

  “Thank you,” Micah murmured.

  After visiting with Esther, they were driven back home.

  ***

  One month later, the harvest completed, first John, then Miriam took their Kneeling Vows, becoming full members of their Amish district. After both had taken their vows, they began seriously planning their wedding, set to take place during the next year’s wedding season.

  The holidays began with prayerful observations of Thanksgiving. Families gathered, celebrating the day and enjoying their time with each other. Miriam worked to finish the last quilt in her large order. As she sewed the back to the quilted front, she smiled, satisfied with how it was turning out. Two weeks later, just before Christmas, she sewed the last binding onto that child’s quilt and, releasing a long sigh of relief, she cut the thread holding the quilt to her sewing machine.

  Unfolding all four quilts, she spread them onto the work tables in the quilting room. Walking slowly from one quilt to the next, she looked closely for any imperfections. When she saw a stray thread, she cut it loose, brushing it off the fabric.

  Sarah came in and, seeing all the quilts spread out, she gasped.

  “Miriam, they are beautiful! Your customer will love them!”

  “Denki, mamm. I hope so! I’ve been looking over them to make sure they are perfect – after all, they paid a lot of money for them,” Miriam said.

  “You are still due the last half of the payment, right?”

  “Ya. I am. I will call them after supper and make arrangements for their delivery,” Miriam decided.
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  “Ya, that is good. How many other orders do you have waiting?”

  “Two! I want to give some of the money to you and daed for the bills. The rest, I’ll save for our wedding and for after.”

  “That is good, Miriam. Have you and John talked about where you will live?”

  “Our grossmudderhaus here. It will allow us to save money to buy our own farm, either here in our district or another district, depending on where we find land,” Miriam said.

  “Another district . . .” Sarah said, her words trailing out.

  “I hope it will be close by, if we have to leave the district. I want to stay here because you, my sisters, brothers and daed are here.”

  “God will provide, daughter.” Sarah said, feeling a little sad. Seeing Miriam’s eyes, she opened her arms and Miriam slipped into them.

  ***

  Miriam delivered all four quilts to her customer. Upon seeing them, both husband and wife were very excited.

  “Miss Beiler, they are perfect! I love the detail! Oh, and I have some good news for you! My wife and I talked and we’re going to pay you a bonus for all your hard work. Also, my sister-in-law and her mother found out about your work. They will be meeting with you after Christmas so they can place their orders with you. I’ll be bringing them up here,” said the husband, who took his wallet out and counted out $2,500, handing it to Miriam.

  “Oh! You don’t have to pay me that large a bonus!” she said, stunned.

  “Miss Beiler, please. You do exceptional work. They are perfect. Also, we heard about your troubles with Mr. Newman. That you were able to continue working through all that stress is truly amazing. Please accept it as a token of our gratitude and acknowledgement of your talent. Save it or buy supplies you need.”

  “Well . . . I am getting married. I can save it for a rainy day. Denki!”

  The couple left, bearing all four quilts. Before they did, they set a date to bring their relatives to Miriam after Christmas.