Just Keep Breathing

by GS Rhodes

  DI Kidd was about to retort but DCI Weaver had already walked out the door, his jacket on, ready for a night at home with his family. It made him burn. One minute DCI Weaver wanted him on this like never before, the next he wants Kidd to drop it.

  Though he was still sort of on duty tonight at the reunion.

  He went home, took a quick shower, and pulled on a fresh shirt and a pair of jeans. It was still cold, so he grabbed his denim jacket from his wardrobe and put it on. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone out. There were dates with John, but going out with work friends was something unheard of. Though, he supposed, this was still work after all.

  Even when he’d been off for six months and he took that trip to Europe—mostly to track down Craig—he’d gone out but only to drown his sorrows. That was when he’d gotten in the most trouble. He hoped he’d be able to avoid that tonight.

  JOHN: Have fun tonight. Don’t forget you owe me. x

  Kidd laughed in spite of himself. After their lunch today, he would have much rather have been spending the evening with John. It was no disrespect to Zoe, not at all, but they weren’t exactly going out for fun. They were going out to essentially keep working.

  I know I know. Tomorrow? X

  JOHN: Until tomorrow then. X

  Kidd pocketed his phone and grabbed his keys and wallet before heading outside. He climbed into his car and drove round to Zoe’s house to pick her up. He tooted the horn twice and he saw the lights in her hallway click off before she opened the door.

  She was wearing a pair of figure-hugging blue jeans and a white, strappy top, her black leather jacket slung over one shoulder. She’d let her hair down, her curls bouncing free as she walked over to his car.

  “I hate that we’re doing this,” she said as she climbed into the passenger seat. “And I also hate that you’re driving. You’re the worst driver.”

  “Needs must,” Kidd said. “And since I’m giving you a ride, you can drink tonight.”

  “We have a pair of missing teenagers to find, I need to be on my game tomorrow,” she said with a smirk. “Maybe just one drink.”

  “Atta girl,” Kidd said as he drove them towards the school.

  They arrived in pretty good time, struggling to find a space in the almost overflowing car park. People were heading towards the entrance in pairs, in clusters, maybe people that had reconnected over Facebook, maybe people that had never lost touch in the first place like DI Kidd seemed to have done with his school friends.

  When they stepped inside, Kidd felt a strange wave of familiarity washing over him. It had been an awfully long time since he’d been in this hall.

  The lights were low, the usual rows of chairs cleared to the sides of the room where they surrounded tables that a few people were already occupying, many deep in conversations, and even deeper into their drinks. There was a bar to one side, portable and to be cleared away without a trace before the following morning, and a long buffet table with snacks and nibbles, another place where groups of people were congregating.

  No one had dared to step onto the small amount of space cleared for a dance floor near the DJ—Kidd couldn’t believe there was a DJ. It was like being at a school disco when you’re twelve years old. They got a couple of drinks and stood to one side, their own little cluster. There were a couple of people whose faces Kidd recognised, not that he’d be able to put a name to them. He’d done rather a good job of blocking out most of his school years.

  “Do you think they’re going to be here?” Zoe asked, leaning in and having to raise her voice to be heard over the music.

  “Of course they are,” Kidd said.

  “What makes you say that?” she asked, raising her eyebrow.

  “Keeping up appearances,” he said. “They can’t miss this event because they’ve said they’re going to be here. Also, and I’m trying not to sound like a miserable old fucker when I say this—”

  “Why do I get the feeling you’re going to?”

  “But she’ll want the attention,” Kidd said. “Even though it’s negative, even though it’s not really about her, the amount she’s been posting at the moment, she must sort of feed off it.”

  “Is that not a little bit sick?” Zoe asked.

  “I’ll say,” Kidd replied, but seeing her Tweets about his press conference was enough to confirm that part of this was definitely about getting attention, even though her daughter was missing. He’d never say it to her, he wouldn’t mention it to Weaver or put it in the report, but it certainly seemed a little bit weird and a whole lot inappropriate.

  The night carried on for a little longer, DI Kidd and DS Sanchez stood to one side nursing their drinks, occasionally wandering as far as the buffet table to pick up a couple of snacks before finding somewhere else to stand or sit and observe. A few people came over and spoke to Kidd and he found himself explaining to most of them that Zoe was his colleague, not his wife. People liked to assume the latter.

  “See?” Zoe said. “This isn’t so bad.”

  “It could certainly be worse,” he replied.

  “I wish we weren’t working,” she said. “I know we’re not officially working, but what I wouldn’t give to get you drunk enough that you’re the first person to take to that dance floor.”

  “Not on your life!” Kidd said through a laugh.

  The doors to the main hall opened and a few heads turned. There was a whisper that sort of rippled around the whole room and it was enough to draw Kidd’s attention away from Zoe. He looked to see Laura Harper walking in wearing all black—of course, why wouldn’t she?—with Chris, her husband, at her side. It was the first time that Kidd had seen him in the flesh in twenty years and he looked a lot different than he did in pictures.

  In the pictures he had with Laura on her social media, he was every bit the tall, dark, and handsome Prince Charming. But in the flesh, he seemed pale in comparison to her. She was the star in the relationship, that much was clear. All attention was on her, he was part of the supporting cast.

  A few people flocked over immediately, women mostly, fawning over Laura, fawning over her outfit, and offering what Kidd assumed would be apologies about what had happened with Sarah. Yes, from the concerned looks painted on each and every one of their faces, he would put money on each of them offering condolences.

  “Wow,” Zoe said. “She certainly knows how to make an entrance.”

  “You’ve got to hand it to her, she knows how to orchestrate a moment.”

  “How well do you think she could do that?” Zoe asked.

  Kidd took a moment. “Not well enough to plan her own daughter’s disappearance I would say,” he replied. “She played the part of the broken mother far too well. If she could call on that at the drop of a hat, then she should be on stage, not showing people how to clean their bathrooms on Instagram.” Though even Kidd wasn’t entirely sure he believed it. Should he be thinking of her as a suspect? “Shall we?”

  “I think we’d better,” Zoe said, noticing a semi-orderly queue forming near where they were standing. “We’re going to be here all night just waiting to talk to them.”

  “Like hell we are,” Kidd said, ignoring the queue and walking straight over to Laura’s side. He tapped her on her bare shoulder and she about jumped out of her skin. Her face was annoyed until she realised it was him and she softened instantly.

  “Of course, DI Kidd, you said you were going to be here,” she said, leaving a hand resting on his arm. She turned to Chris and pulled his focus away from a couple of women who definitely seemed to be fawning over him, and pointed out Kidd. “Honey, this is the man who came to visit today, DI Kidd.”

  Chris’ brow knitted together in confusion as he took Kidd in, like he didn’t entirely understand what had just been said.

  “And this is DS Sanchez,” Kidd said, pointing out Zoe who had come around to stand next to him. This seemed to please Chris a little more and smiling, he inclined his head. “We’d love to get a chance to chat to yo
u in private at some point, Mr Harper,” Kidd continued. “It’s a shame that you weren’t in when we came to the house earlier on.”

  “Well,” he said with a shrug. “Houses won’t build themselves. There are people counting on me.”

  “And I’m sure your daughter is too, wherever she is,” Kidd said with a smile. “Can I come see you at your office?”

  Chris reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a card, handing it across to Kidd. “I don’t really want to get into this right now,” he said. “But if you call my office in the morning, they would be more than happy to arrange a meeting. But I warn you, I’m a very busy man.”

  “Too busy to take the time to help find your daughter?” Zoe said under her breath.

  “What was that?” Chris said.

  “I hope we manage to find a time that’s suitable,” Zoe said with a smile. “I’m sure you agree. We just want to find Sarah.”

  “Of course,” he said, his brows knitting together again. “What are you suggesting?”

  “They’re not suggesting anything at all, honey,” Laura said as if she was talking to a small dog rather than her heavyset husband. “However, as Chris already said, now is not the time to discuss this.” She turned back to her adoring public. “Alexandra, darling!” Laura exclaimed, throwing her arms wide and wrapping a small, redheaded woman into a tight hug. “It’s so lovely to see you tonight, how have you been?”

  Alexandra looked a little shaken when she removed herself from the hug. “Oh, you know,” she said. “It’s been a little bit rough. Caleb has been worried about Sarah, of course. I have been too. It’s been such a hard time for him. I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

  Laura straightened up, painting on that warrior’s smile she’d had when Kidd had seen her earlier in the day. “It’s a rough ride,” she said. “But, as they say, these things are sent to try us.”

  “Well you are a saint for even coming out tonight,” Alexandra said. “I nearly didn’t want to leave Caleb with his grandparents, given everything that’s been going on.”

  Laura and Alexandra continued to talk, but Kidd found his attention drawn to Chris. He seemed very focussed on their conversation, but at the same time, a little bit shaken by it, like he couldn’t take his eyes off of what was going on. His eyes seemed watery, something that Kidd hadn’t expected, and without warning he hurried for the double doors leading out of the hall.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “What on earth was that all about?” Kidd asked.

  “Maybe he really didn’t want to be here,” Zoe said. “If my child were missing, the last thing I’d want to do is be out at some party with a bunch of people I’ve barely spoken to in the last twenty or so years.”

  But he knew all these people, didn’t he? If Laura knew them, Chris must have at least had a passing acquaintance with them since they’d all gone to school together. Though maybe he didn’t anymore, if he worked so hard that he was hardly ever in the house. That was how Laura had made it seem anyhow.

  “I’m going to go and see where he’s gotten to,” Kidd said quietly. Zoe nodded and Kidd quickly slipped away and out into the corridor. There was no way of knowing where he’d gone, he’d taken off at quite a speed.

  To his left was a door leading to a darkened corridor, so it wasn’t likely he’d gone that way. On the way back to the front door, he could see the corridor that led to the offices, to where he’d spoken to Ms Lu and Ms Chowdhury earlier. He slowly shuffled over to it and tried the door, only to find it locked.

  Another darkened corridor lay behind him, and then the front door. It was the only one that was open, the only one that seemed like the obvious choice, and if he had been upset like DS Sanchez seemed to think, the first thing you would want to do was go out and get some air, no?

  Kidd took a breath and started towards the front doors.

  The night air was cold, a few clicks colder than it had been when they’d arrived, though maybe that was the change in going from a room full of people to outside. He pulled his jacket tightly about himself as he looked for Chris. It was quiet out here now, the cars no longer moving around on the gravel and making that dreadful, crunching noise, no footsteps approaching, just the low hum of the lights guiding any latecomers to the front door.

  “Mr Harper?” DI Kidd said, perhaps a little too loudly.

  “Over here!” A voice came out of the dark, and Kidd could just make him out leaning against the wall a little way away. “Sorry about that.”

  Kidd approached. “About…” he trailed off when he saw there was another figure with him, mostly cloaked in shadow. But he recognised her all the same. “Ms Chowdhury. Fancy seeing you here.”

  She straightened up. “It’s my school, Mr Kidd—”

  “DI Kidd.”

  “DI Kidd, my apologies. It is my school. I was working late, and given everything that’s been going on, I saw Mr Harper heading outside and decided to talk to him about it,” she said, her lips curling into a smile. “I hope that’s alright.”

  “It’s a free country, Ms Chowdhury,” he said. “I was simply doing the same.”

  “We’ll talk later,” Ms Chowdhury said, placing a hand on Chris Harper’s arm. Kidd watched her closely, she lowered her voice, but not low enough. “I’m working late tonight. You know where to find me.”

  She locked eyes with Kidd before she walked back into the school. Kidd didn’t know where to start with that. He turned to Chris.

  “Do I want to ask what that was about?”

  “You can ask, it doesn’t mean I’ll tell,” he replied, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out a packet of cigarettes. “Do you smoke?”

  “No.”

  “Mind if I do?”

  “Free country,” Kidd said again. “What did you leave for? Were you coming to meet her?”

  “No,” he said quickly. “I was struggling with all of the attention in there. That’s more Laura’s area than it is mine. I just let her get on with it.”

  “That’s how it seemed to me when I came to see her today,” Kidd said. “That you were leaving everything to her.”

  “Did she say that?”

  “No.”

  “Then why are you saying it?”

  “I’m doing my job,” Kidd replied.

  “You’re sticking your nose in.”

  “That’s my job,” Kidd said bluntly. “I came to check and see if you were alright. You seem fine to me. Not worried about your daughter going missing, but that’s your choice.”

  “I am worried,” he said. “I’m terrified. The last things I said to her were so awful. Our relationship wasn’t the best but…” he trailed off and took a long drag of his cigarette. “I’m not a bad guy, DI Kidd,” he said. “I just…I have needs.”

  Kidd took a deep breath. He’d had enough of men trying to justify their affairs to him today. That’s what this was, an admittance that there was something going on with Ms Chowdhury. And if Sarah happened to know something about that, then maybe they should be looking at her a little more closely. She didn’t seem to like Sarah all that much. If Sarah knew that she had been sleeping with her dad, she probably would have been giving her hell.

  “I’m not here to judge your life choices, or judge your marriage.”

  “You must understand,” he said. “Are you married?”

  “Far from it,” Kidd replied.

  “Then maybe you don’t.”

  “Don’t understand why you’re not faithful to your wife?” Kidd asked with a raise of his eyebrow. “I don’t think I need to be married to know that it’s not the right thing to do. Unless you have some kind of agreement and you’re allowed to do that within the bounds of your marriage, but the fact you’re sneaking around and justifying it to me suggests that perhaps not.” Kidd took a breath. He still wanted to talk to Chris Harper properly, on the record, about what his relationship with Sarah was like. But he’d learned something about the man tonight, and he really didn’t like
it. “I’ll see you back inside.”

  “You’re not going to tell her, are you?”

  Kidd sighed. “Of course not,” he said. “It’s not my place. I’ll see you inside, Mr Harper.”

  Kidd walked back into the school, noticing that Ms Chowdhury was hovering in the corridor as he approached the school hall. She watched him carefully, though when he locked eyes with her she immediately looked away. Was that a guilty conscience? And about what? Her affair with Chris, or something else, something more? It wouldn’t be the first time a teacher had abducted a student.

  He walked back into the hall and the heat from all the bodies hit him like a tank. Alexandra Kaye was still standing with Laura, an apparent leaning post of solidarity that her husband had failed to provide for this evening.

  He walked over to DS Sanchez. She had given up her post next to them and had moved a little closer to the wall, giving them a little bit of breathing room.

  “Anything good?” he asked.

  “Nothing we can use,” she replied. “Most of them are just feeling really sad for her, which I get, and she’s playing the role of strong independent woman quite well.”

  “Not as well as you’d think,” Kidd said. “Look at her hands.”

  She was gripping onto Alexandra’s arm so tightly her knuckles were white. If she let go, Kidd wouldn’t be surprised if she tumbled to the ground in a heap. She had a lot going on in her life right now, her husband being an adulterous prick was the least of her worries.

  “You look furious, Kidd, what’s happened?” Zoe asked. “Did you find something?”

  He sighed heavily. “You could say that, yeah.”

  He was about to explain what was going on when the doors to the hall opened once more and Chris appeared. So he hadn’t been all that far behind Kidd after all. Maybe one final smooch with Ms Chowdhury before he came back inside, a last little taste. It made him feel a bit sick.

  But his appearance sparked a different bit of movement. As Chris made his way across the room and replaced Alexandra Kaye, the two of them exchanging a few pleasantries, a few smiles, someone else had started moving towards them from across the room.