Envious Deception

by Katie Keller-Nieman

  She nodded and reached across the table, gripping both of their hands tightly. I wanted to throw up. This wasn’t mind control like she had done to Eric. She wasn’t in their heads, hadn’t forced a takeover. They loved her in the most unnatural way.

  I sat there, silently struggling to keep my composure as they talked on and on. My mom filled Aurora in on the latest celebrity gossip and handed her a stack of magazines to keep her entertained. They listened intently as she spoke of her progress, as if their lives hung in the balance. Little did they realize that my life did. Every sweet smile in my direction was a threat. Aurora hadn’t forgotten me while locked up. No. I was her reason to get out.

  “January,” Aurora said. “I’ll be evaluated in the first week and… we’ll see. Dr. Morris is confident. He’s sure that I’ll be ready to go home.”

  My chest tightened. January? That was less than two months away. It was too soon. I needed more time.

  “Isn’t that wonderful, Sandy?” my mom asked me with a delighted look in her eyes.

  “Mmm hmm,” I hummed, nodding with my lips pressed tightly.

  I fiercely gripped the seat of my chair for so long that my fingertips went completely white. They talked on a while longer, but I heard little past the rush of panic in my ears.

  Less than two months. Six weeks. Six weeks!

  My parents stood, preparing to leave. My mom caressed Aurora’s cheek affectionately. She combed her fingers through her golden locks, arranging them perfectly around her face while reassuring her that January would come quickly.

  “Ready, Cassandra?” my father prompted, hand set on the back of my plastic chair.

  “Actually, could I have a minute alone with her?” I asked.

  They both looked to Aurora, seeking her permission. She appeared elated at my request. Her smile brightened and her eyes sparkled. And this made my parents equally happy. Where’s a puke bag when you need one?

  “We’ll be waiting in the car,” my dad said as he led my mother out.

  Aurora and I were left alone at the round plastic table. Thankfully, we were not alone in the room. Two orderlies were close by, as well as other patients and visitors. Witnesses in case Aurora decided that she couldn’t wait until January to end my life.

  Once my parents were out of sight, Aurora faced me. “They love me so much,” she sang. Her expression quickly twisted from innocence to the maniacal look that got her locked away in the first place. “It hurts them to be apart from me.” She pressed a hand to her heart. “Right here,” she added with a pouty nod.

  I refused to let her goad me. “No one loves you, Aurora. You use your power to manufacture fake love.”

  She exhaled a light laugh, not insulted for even a second. “Sandy, I’ve never forced anyone to love me. Not them. Not Eric, and not Todd. They chose me.”

  “Keep telling yourself that,” I countered coolly.

  Her lips dipped in disappointment before she gave a sly smile. “How is Todd? Does he miss me? I’m sure he does. Especially in the bedroom.” She gave a giddy wink.

  “Shut up,” I snapped. My heart began to race with guilt.

  She struggled to keep from grinning, lips twisting around on her face. “I know Eric misses me, too.”

  “You wish,” I said with a sharp laugh. She was really getting desperate if she thought that would get to me now.

  She laughed as if something I said was truly funny. “We’re coming up on our anniversary. Eight hundred and three years, I believe, since Eric’s and my first kiss.”

  My heart thudded in my chest. Eight hundred? That would mean our first life. It couldn’t possibly be true. She had to be lying. She’s just trying to hurt me. Don’t let her.

  “Something wrong?” she inquired, brow quirked with amusement. “What should I give him for our anniversary? I’m thinking a wedding. Maybe a baby.”

  Her calculated words hit me hard. I lunged at her. The table stopped my attack, and she backed quickly out of my reach, laughing as my fingers just missed her neck. The table edge dug into my stomach, a sharp reminder to calm down. Attacking Aurora now would get me kicked out.

  Seething, I forced myself to return to my chair. I gripped my seat hard to keep my butt planted to it.

  Aurora leaned forward again, folding her arms on the table with a victorious grin. “Eric will be mine again. You’ll see. It’s what he wants, deep down,” she said confidently, lazily smoothing a fingertip over one of her fingernails. “You’ve given me something wonderful, Sandy. Life is so distracting. With college and a buzzing social life, there was so little time for practicing magic. For growing stronger. But here? There’s barely any TV. No homework or projects. No boring social situations. I have nothing but time here. Just me and a whole lot of room for personal growth.” She looked up at me, her eyes narrowed, smirking and feline. “It’s amazing what I’ve managed to accomplish in here. I’ve never been so powerful.”

  A biting chill raced through my veins, making me as still as stone. She grinned proudly.

  “I would thank you for this opportunity you’ve given me, but I think it equals out. If it weren’t for me, you never would have met Eric, in this life or the past couple. I sought him out. I found him for us.”

  “So that you could dangle him in front of me,” I snapped. Like a diamond bracelet. More like food to a starving person.

  She shrugged indifferently. “My time away has given you a little time with the man of your dreams. Your all, your love. You’re welcome, Sandy. But that time is coming to an end.”

  “Not if I find the books,” I burst out. “We have a deal.”

  “We do,” she confirmed with a nod but then waved her hand around dismissively. “So where are they?”

  I snapped my mouth closed and she sighed unhappily, shaking her head. “Hurry to find those, because time is ticking on your relationship. Tick, tock, tick tock… I love to see how you suffer when I take Eric from you. Every single time, it’s so invigorating to watch you crumble without him.”

  “And yet this time you chose to kill me at the beach rather than fight for him.”

  She shrugged apathetically. “Games do get old after a while.”

  “You were bored? Really? I don’t think so. You never could keep him, could you?” I dared.

  My words struck a nerve. She leaned in quickly, her eyes drilling into mine. “You could never love him like I do! You don’t even know him!” she exclaimed. “Eric and I are destined. He loves me, he always has. If he had never met you, he would still be mine. He would always be mine. I was everything he wanted me to be. Sweet? I was. When he wanted fierce, I was.”

  “That’s not a relationship,” I told her. “It was fake. The person you pretended to be wasn’t real. He didn’t fall for you. He fell for the lie.”

  She snorted unconcernedly. “What’s the difference?”

  “It’s wrong. It’s not real.”

  “I was saving him,” she snapped.

  I gave a harsh laugh. “From what?”

  “From you, you bitch!” she screamed.

  The low hum of conversation around us became silent instantly. People turned to watch us, but the orderlies did nothing. They leaned against the back wall, ignoring Aurora’s rising temper. They hadn’t been so lax the last time I came. It worried me.

  “I want to add something to our deal,” I said quietly. It was the entire reason that I had come, and I wanted to get to the point and get out. “Todd. I want him to live out his life in safety. You can’t harm him.”

  “Harm Todd?” she repeated slowly.

  “Can’t,” I stressed.

  She nodded her head quickly. “Done. I won’t. Does that make you feel better?”

  “And you can’t harm Eric either.”

  She quirked a brow as if sincerely curious over my request. “I’d never.”

  I leaned in, voice dropping in tone and eyes narrowing to scornful slits. “We both know that isn’t true. He remembers the wine cellar.”

&n
bsp; She sucked in a sharp breath. Color drained from her face. Her skin turned ghostly pale in a split second, becoming as white as the baggy shirt that she and all the other patients wore.

  “He’s remembering?” she demanded earnestly. “Now?”

  I shrugged. “With a little help.”

  Her eyes grew even wider with my admission. Fear and panic filled her pallid face. She gripped the table’s edge tightly, her fingers stiff and white from blood loss. “Do you want him to kill himself?” she said accusingly.

  My heart fumbled in my chest, staggering out of rhythm. “He wants the truth.”

  “And you’re willing to risk his life and sanity to give it to him?” she hissed.

  My teeth ground hard, making my jaw hurt from the pressure.

  She crossed her arms, eyes still wide with fright and head still shaking, as if she just couldn’t stop. “Go ahead,” she said bitterly. “Show him. You’ll see. You are the worst thing for him.”

  I said nothing and she continued to shake her head, truly wracked by my news. Worry carved into her smooth features, and her fingers twisted together, clamped tight.

  Her eyes met mine again, serious and frighteningly direct. “He will always want you, Cassandra,” she said darkly. Unshed tears glittered in her grave eyes. “That can’t be helped. But you will always be the death of him.”

  Her words slowly sank in, stunning me for a moment as they settled over us. Then I realized; she was doing nothing more than trying to scare me.

  “Fine. I will show him,” I said boldly, sliding my chair back and standing quickly.

  She scrambled to her feet. “Don’t you dare help him break my spell! He’s not ready! He doesn’t know what he’s capable of, and it needs to stay that way!”

  I turned to leave, and the door buzzed to allow my exit.

  “Cassandra, please! If you love him, you won’t do this!” Aurora called desperately, but I stepped out anyway. “Sandy!”

  CHAPTER 11

  DIFFERENT NOW

  Todd kept his word. He answered his phone and came to pick me up Sunday as promised. I was sitting on the steps to my house with a suitcase full of cold-weather clothes when Todd’s car pulled up to the curb, engine rumbling angrily.

  I felt a little better since putting Todd’s protection in Aurora’s and my deal, and I could only hope that Julie hadn’t backed out of our agreement. I needed those books. Eric, Todd, and I could have one good life free from Aurora. We needed that time. I needed it. Eric definitely did. Todd never should have been involved in any of this. Unfortunately, when I killed Owen, I’d sealed his fate. But once I had those books, Todd would be safe.

  My parents were hers, and I didn’t think that I could get them back. They were too far gone now, but at least I knew she wouldn’t harm them. There was sincerity in her eyes when they spoke lovingly to her. She adored the replacement parents she’d created for herself, so it seemed they were safe as well. And Eric would be too. She hadn’t said it, but I knew she regretted torturing him, on some level anyway.

  I shoved my suitcase into the back seat then slid into the passenger seat, closing the door behind me. My short ponytail bounced with the motion. “What happened to the black doors? I kinda liked the two-tone thing you had goin’ on there.”

  “Did you want a ride or not?” he asked, annoyance growing in his rough voice with every word.

  “Of course. Can’t take a joke?”

  He looked at me with an attempted smile. “Don’t insult the car and expect a ride. Besides, I like it blue. All blue.” His eyes darted to my hair. “Speaking of two-tone… where’s the purple?”

  I grabbed my tiny brown ponytail, frowning. The colored streaks were freshly dyed to match the rest. “It was too wild for mom.”

  He snorted angrily. “Of course.” He shifted into gear and pulled away from the curb.

  “When are you going to replace the stereo?”

  “One update at a time, Sandy,” he answered dryly. He rolled the window down, letting a thin stream of crisp air into the car. I inhaled the delicious scent of fall and cracked my window too.

  I leaned back into my seat, completely content for the first time in months. I had Eric, I had control over seeing the past, I had Todd, and Aurora was still locked away. This feeling needed to be enjoyed while it lasted. If Juliet kept her word and got the books for us, I could enjoy it for much longer.

  Todd laughed suddenly, and I glanced over with a curious lift of my brow. “What?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know. Sometimes we’re a lot alike.”

  I noticed that we were sitting in nearly the same lazy position, both with our windows cracked, and I smiled. “We are family.”

  TODD:

  Minutes passed in silence. Todd didn’t turn on the radio. No blasting other people’s conversations. He was leaving himself open to Sandy. Open to conversation or argument-which they usually treated like a sporting event—it didn’t matter which. She was there, and he was accepting that he couldn’t be alone forever. He didn’t really want to be.

  Forgiveness was something real and possible. Not just for God or whatever deity people prayed to, but those it counted with in life. Family. Friends. He had a feeling that Sandy knew deep down why he had distanced himself from her. Why he was so remorseful. She may not realize. It may be only a bud of thought in her mind, but she ignored it, not caring to let it blossom into hate and animosity, because she loved him. It was an odd feeling to be loved by the one person he thought could possibly hate him forever, and should, quite frankly. But it was also really nice.

  “You seem more like yourself,” she said.

  God, he wished he could feel like himself again, even if only for a moment, but he was still lost and confused. He didn’t feel right in his own body, like he was trapped and spinning dizzily. Tony was right. Aurora had done a real number on him, and it was a struggle to even just act like himself.

  “You seem happy,” he countered.

  “Of course! I have the best chauffeur ever. Although you could put on a cabbie hat. That would be even better.”

  He snorted, and she grinned that same smile from when she was a baby. It was odd that he could recall that so easily, the face she would make when she thought something was funny. How her little nose would scrunch up between two fat cheeks. Her cheeks were slim now, sort of plush around her graceful cheekbones, but the grin was the same.

  Keeping typical with their habits, the ride passed quietly. Hours that felt like minutes passed before he pulled into the lot of her campus.

  “Go learn something,” he mumbled as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

  She smiled as if learning was the most exciting thing in the world. Somehow he knew the thrill wasn’t over anything in her classes.

  “I plan to,” she declared happily. “Did you want to go to Blackie’s?” she asked slowly, as if afraid of hearing a no.

  “Nah,” he answered as if that were any different. “I’ve got class early tomorrow.”

  She nodded her head, disappointed, but then smiled again. “Don’t be a stranger,” she warned before slipping out into the parking lot.

  The sun had set an hour earlier, so he got out to walk her safely to the door. He knew she enjoyed her independence and felt as though she didn’t need protecting. The Sandy from a year ago would have protested and yelled until he left her to wander the dark parking lot alone. But this one said nothing except a heartfelt goodbye as she stepped into the building.

  He shoved his hands in his pockets, turned around, and left, wondering how long the change could last.

  CHAPTER 12

  SURRENDER

  When I got to my room, Ashley wasn’t there and wouldn’t be back until the next day. I set my bag on the floor and began pulling out the items I had brought, aside from wintry clothes. Mainly candles. Technically, as a fire hazard, they were prohibited on campus, but I couldn’t care less. Eric would be there soon, returning from meeting with Juliet. He would either have the b
ooks, or not. Either way, I wanted something good to happen. Whether we had a long future or a short one, I wanted to live it. No more hiding. No running.

  Just like so many years ago, I set to work flitting through my tiny room, lighting dozens of little candles in clear glass jars. The orange flames flickered in a luminous, romantic glow.

  I dug into my bag and pulled out the sexiest thing I owned. It was a lacy red water bra Aurora had given me last spring. I hated that it was from her, but it had made me feel sexy before. Its water pouch padding made me look almost as busty as Aurora. The last thing I wanted was to have another teary meltdown in Eric’s arms, triggered by my extremely low self-esteem. The super bra might help with that.

  I tried it on and stepped in front of the mirror to admire my artificial curves. I definitely looked better. Sexy and confident. But somehow, it didn’t feel right. I didn’t look like me, and I wanted to. Even though there were so many things I’d change about my body, Eric knew that I was no swimsuit model. He loved me the way I was. I pulled off the bra and buried it deep in a dresser drawer.

  I didn’t have anything else beautiful to wear. No silk gown or satin PJs. I knew it wouldn’t matter to Eric what I chose to wear, but I slipped on one of his t-shirts. I thought he might like that. I knew I did. A light blue one had somehow ended up in my belongings. The words “Cranes/Kiwassa/Brasher Lacrosse” were emblazoned on the front, the three combined towns that it took to form a single high school sports team. On the back was the best guy in the world’s name and number. “Jansen 5.” It was long enough for me to feel like I wasn’t completely exposed without wearing any pants. His soothing scent wrapped around me from it. I sighed and hugged the fabric closer to my body, missing him desperately. It had only been a few days spent without him, but it felt like ages.

  I sat cross-legged on my bed, wringing my hands, trying not to think too much as I always did. I spent a while listening to the soft rush of leaves outside before a knock came to my door.