Envious Deception

by Katie Keller-Nieman

  “Cassandra?” he called.

  My voice choked for a moment. I swallowed slowly. “Come in.”

  The door opened and my heart blossomed in my chest at the sight of Eric. A warm smile grew on his face. He closed the door and locked it.

  “She did it,” he said softly. His long lashes trembled around hopeful, excited blue eyes. “Jules’s aunts came through for us,” he added happily and held out three tattered, ancient-looking books. Two were thick and one was thin, each bound in a different shade of old, dry leather.

  He sat on the bed opposite me, and my heart soared with hope. We had more time. We had a lifetime.

  Eric seemed unable to contain his excitement. “We have them now,” he said, whispering just in case. “Do you know what this means?” he asked, leaning in eagerly.

  I knew the answer. We both did, but I wanted to hear it out loud. “What?” I tempted him.

  “Freedom,” he gushed. “It’s like I can finally breathe again. Do you feel that too?”

  I nodded, biting my smiling lips.

  “We can do it, Cassandra. We can be free from her now. All the answers we need are in here. I’m sure of it.”

  I moved in swiftly, taking his face in my hands and kissed him fervently. Our lips molded to each other with a free, uninhibited passion. The books landed on the mattress, and Eric’s body devoured mine as if he was starved for my kiss. His hand braced my head, his fingers firm against the curve of my neck. The electricity between us overwhelmed my senses, setting me off balance and sweeping me away in the gathering tide.

  I tugged at his shirt hem. His strong muscles drew taut as his arms stretched up, dragging it over his head. The break in our kiss didn’t last long. He gathered me back into his arms instantly. My hands greedily raced over his bare back, desperate to feel every inch of his warm skin.

  “Eric,” I moaned against his lips, arching my body against his.

  He seemed to know my question without my asking. “Are you sure?” he asked, searching my eyes.

  I nodded, running my hands over his smooth, hard chest and abs. I pressed my lips to the hollow of his neck, inhaling deeply. His skin was warm, smooth, and smelled faintly of fresh cologne. The tip of my nose brushed along his throat as I languidly savored the masculine scent of his skin. It was intoxicating the way it filled me up. I knew the fragrance. The same as my husband, my lover, and the boy-turned-warrior I once knew.

  My hands drifted to the waist of his jeans. I unfastened them, slipping my hand inside for a teasing touch. I trailed kisses along his jaw and he leaned his head back, inviting me to continue. I tasted him salaciously, tongue exploring his neck, drawing satisfied groans from deep in his throat.

  I pushed against him, gently shifting our positions until he lay on his back. I forged a path down his chest, relishing in his sweet taste while untying his sneakers. His shoes dropped one by one, and his jeans were next. As I slid the fabric down his muscular legs, I thought of the awesome sight of him running. He was athletic, strong, and determined. The way he moved his body was magnificent. He was a warrior but graceful. He made impossible movements seem easy, the opposite of me, but our attraction had little to do with common traits. We differed in many ways, and in that way, we completed each other. We were two halves that belonged wrapped around one another, and our differences melded with each kiss.

  Smoldering or sweet, our kisses were always amazing because they were born out of deep, pure love.

  In only his boxers, he looked amazing. Sinful even. I straddled him, the feel of him between my thighs nearly driving me wild. I lowered myself to his bare chest, and his arms curled around me, massaging my back through the thin cotton t-shirt. His hand brushed up my thigh, over my panties and under my shirt; his palms skimmed my bare back, taking in every little dip and curve of my skin.

  He braced me tighter and flipped me to my back. Excitement rippled through me. My hair scattered over my pillow and the ancient books at my side. His mouth smothered mine while his hand snatched the books. Without breaking our kiss, he set them in the drawer of my bedside table. Out of the way. Out of our minds. This wasn’t the time for thinking of magic and our desperation for a life together. The drawer shut softly, separating our present from the heavy burden of the past and future. This was the time for us.

  His kisses were languid. His hand trailed beneath my shirt from my back to my breast. He cupped my soft curves, and his thumb drifted across in a dreamy caress.

  I inhaled a gasp of desire at the intimate way he touched and looked at me. Like I was the only girl in the world. The only one for him. His love, his everything. And I knew it was all true.

  He pressed kisses to my shirt, burying his face in my chest. He inhaled deeply and looked up at me, all daring blue eyes and strong muscular shoulders. He slowly eased his weight onto one elbow, and his hand drifted along the length of my body.

  His fingertips tickled my thigh, reaching my silky panties. Nerves flickered with life, coursing through my body on a wave. It didn’t matter that in past lives we’d already done this. It didn’t matter that I’d remembered. We were different people then. This would be my first time, the first for Cassandra Whitmer and Eric Jansen.

  His fingers hooked in the waistband. With a slow tug, the fabric slid down my legs and past my ankles. My entire body set fire in anticipation of what was to come.

  I reached for his boxers. My hands fumbled with nerves as I uncovered his body, making him completely bare beside me. I stole shy glimpses at him, and his rosy blush spread, brightening over his cheeks. He had no reason to be shy or modest. His body was like a depiction of a Greek god, as if he was sculpted by Michelangelo or one of his other artist idols.

  Eric caressed my cheek, drawing my eyes to his face. “Are you nervous?” he whispered.

  I nodded sheepishly.

  His nose brushed mine tenderly, drawing my gaze from his lips to his blue eyes. He swept my bangs back, combing hair away from my face. “So am I,” he admitted, making my heart flutter. Butterflies swarmed from my stomach, rushing through every limb. “I love you, Cassandra. Only you. Always and forever.”

  His fingers laced with mine. His lips brushed my fingers, his breath a soft exhale of desire. He gathered me closer, his hand firm yet gentle against my ribs, drawing me up to meet his lips in a sweet, smoldering kiss. I felt connected to him, like words were no longer necessary for communication. Secret messages were sent through every touch, each breath, and every glance. His lips trailed across my cheek, spreading gentle kisses over my face, to my ear, and down my neck. His kiss was a whisper on my skin, echoing his promise. To love me.

  Forever.

  His face nuzzled mine, his lips greeting mine once more, and I met his kiss with a promise of my own. My heart. My trust. My faith. I dropped my guard and allowed him to enter the fortress encasing my heart. I was bared and open to him like never before, but there was no one on earth I trusted more to hold my heart than him.

  His tongue was like candy in my mouth, a sweet taste of him as he entered me in one way and was about to in another.

  His strong hand caressed my thigh. I lifted my knee against his hip, and I shuddered in the most delicious way at the feel of his bare skin gliding against mine. I wanted more. Without worry over what he might think or of insults others had thrown my way in the past, I reached for the t-shirt I wore. I no longer needed to hide behind its fabric. I peeled it from my body.

  Eric glanced away, as if afraid his gaze would scare me off. My palm cupped his cheek, drawing his eyes back to me.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he breathed softly. He gathered me back into his arms. The feel of our bodies naked and intertwined was unexpectedly relaxing. It equaled the feel of security I felt in his arms multiplied by a hundred. A thousand. My insecurities vanished along with any lingering nerves.

  His bare body brushed my tender skin. I lifted my hips, letting him know there was no going back this time. I knew that it might hurt, but it would hurt more t
o stop something so beautiful and perfect. Something that felt so right. I had given Eric my heart, and now I offered him the rest of me.

  “I love you, Cassandra,” he whispered in my ear, engulfing me in his warm embrace, and I sighed. Those words on his tongue were the most beautiful sound in the entire world.

  “I love you, too, Eric.” My Eric.

  Our bodies moved quietly with each other. Wrapped in his arms, it was easy to meld to him, to slowly sink into him, and to feel him do the same.

  Time suspended. The world slowed to the pace of our bodies’ seductive caress. We took our time to feel and explore. My toes trailed a path up and down his calve, my thigh brushing his bare hip. He exhaled a throaty moan into my hair, and something in that sound opened gates within my soul for him.

  The hallways were noisy as people returned from home. They greeted their friends loudly despite the early hour and paper-thin walls. I blinked rapidly with my face mashed against something warm and smooth. I had slept like a rock, so completely soundly that I hadn’t woken once. I lifted my head, my hand pressing down to the hard body that lay beneath me. I looked up to Eric’s face. He was already awake, and he smiled softly. His arms were around me, one hand in my hair and the other stroking my shoulder.

  “Hi,” I said with a groggy smile.

  He grinned. “Hi.”

  I nuzzled into his warm chest, listening to the thumps of his heart, and he squeezed me closer. Aside from waking after brain surgery with a mind intact, this was the best thing to wake up to. Eric, bare-chested beneath me.

  I wore his t-shirt again, and he was only in his boxers. My greedy fingertips stroked up and down his knotted abs, and I pressed a kiss to the dip in his muscular chest. I hadn’t realized that it was possible to feel so at peace, so connected to someone. I could lie there all day. Something in his languid touch told me that he felt the same.

  It had been an amazing night. First, we made love, slow and sensual. I smiled against his skin and pressed another kiss to my lover’s body. Yes. My lover. Then, we lay together, basking in the afterglow. We talked for hours. None of it about Aurora, the past, or the books. We talked about us. Our childhoods. Our hopes, dreams, and aspirations. I fell short on those, never having cared for much nor dreamed of my future. My business major wasn’t a passion of mine but a way to make money to live. Eric was the opposite, having all sorts of things he wanted to do and places he hoped to visit. He already had a passport, ready and waiting for some adventure to take him away, and he wanted me there beside him.

  As he talked, I realized that I wanted it too. I wanted to travel Paris with him, see the Eiffel Tower and drift in a boat along the Seine. I wanted to walk the Great Wall of China, to swim the blue waters of Capri and explore the wonders of Machu Picchu. It was as if loving him was teaching me to love life. To dare to want. To dream bigger than just for survival.

  We dreamed up plans for the summer after I finished college. England, Italy, France… That would be just the start of the grand world tour that we promised each other.

  We had fallen asleep sometime around two a.m. with our throats hoarse from the chatter and laughter. I’d never had a more perfect night.

  Eric’s fingers gently smoothed my hair back. “You sleep so beautifully, like an angel.”

  “How long were you watching me?”

  I felt the shift of his body as he shrugged. “About an hour. You were next to me for a while, but once I started combing your hair, you sort of latched onto me.”

  “You’re my grown-up teddy bear,” I hummed dreamily.

  He shook with laughter. “Awesome.”

  “We should probably go to the cafeteria.”

  “Can’t they do room service? I really don’t want to leave your bed. Not ever,” he joked, making me giggle.

  I slid up his body and propped myself on an elbow to look down at his face. “I love you, Eric Jansen,” I breathed softly.

  He kissed me and reached for my hand, lacing his fingers with mine. “I love you, Cassandra Whitmer.” He kissed me again and I leaned closer, silently urging him to continue. He pressed a kiss to my neck. “You have class in an hour,” he reminded me gently, lips gliding over my skin.

  “I don’t want to go.”

  “I don’t want you to go either,” he said.

  “But I should.”

  He sighed with feigned exasperation. “I’ll let you go on one condition. When you get back, I can undress you again.”

  A chuckle escaped my lips. “I undressed the both of us.”

  He winked playfully. “Even better.”

  “Okay. Plan.” I swung my leg over his to sit astride him. My hands roamed his skin as I spoke. “First we eat, then I learn, and after…”

  My bottom lip rolled anxiously into my mouth. I looked to my bedside table where the spell books were stored. Loving might have to wait. Eric followed my gaze, and suddenly, we weren’t so giggly. Reality had returned.

  “Dinner time,” he said. “We’ll grab takeout from the cafeteria and decode the hell out of those things.”

  “Decode?” I asked, brow furrowing.

  “I didn’t really get a chance to look them over, but they don’t exactly have an index. It might take a while to find what we’re looking for.”

  A while? We didn’t have a while. Six weeks, tops, until Aurora went free. I hadn’t mentioned that to Eric yet. Or to Todd. It wasn’t the kind of thing that I could just blurt out. The timing had to be right, but I had a feeling it never would be for news like that.

  “Alright. I need to get dressed,” I said, reluctantly climbing out of bed. It was so difficult to leave his side.

  “Aw, do you have to?”

  When I looked back at him, he was wagging his eyebrows playfully, but his blue eyes were appreciating every inch of me. A flush tickled my cheeks. I ducked my smiling face from sight, turning to my closet to pick an outfit. I heard the rustle of denim as he pulled his jeans on.

  “You know I’m gonna need this t-shirt back,” he said, stepping up behind me. His warm arms slid around my waist under the fabric.

  “You have another around here somewhere,” I countered.

  “Darn. You’re quick, even when you just wake up.”

  I smirked, trying to block out my smile. His hands roamed lower, clutching my hips. “I just need one more thing before I go,” he said.

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  He spun me around and captured my lips in a passionate, delicious kiss. His hands gripped me tight, drawing me flush against his body, and I melted like an ice cube in an incinerator.

  CHAPTER 13

  OSCURO

  Concentrating was incredibly difficult with Eric sitting on the sofa with me. It had been trying all day. I couldn’t recall a word that my professors had said in either of my classes. All that I could think about was Eric’s skin against mine, and it sent hot shivers through me repeatedly. Now, with food in one hand and an ancient book in the other, all that I could focus on was Eric’s thumb stroking the arch of my foot. My lashes fluttered at each touch. For some reason, it seemed like the most erotic thing in the world.

  Sandy Whitmer is no longer a virgin. I never would have imagined it would take me and Eric so long to get to this point, especially since I’d pawed at him for it the very first day of our relationship, but I was glad we had waited. We’d learned so much more about each other since spring. We grew even more connected, and that connection deepened every day.

  I was back to blushing awkwardly at the sight of Eric. Every time I looked at him, I thought of being with him last night. I knew him in a new way. It was thrilling, yet frightening. So many new questions had popped up in our relationship. Was I good in bed? Was I bad? Did Eric like it? Was I doing it right? Yet at the same time, I felt reassured, knowing that none of those things could break us apart. I’d finally welcomed him into my heart, and it felt liberating. It would feel even better if Eric hadn’t begun to close up already. While I was busy giving him blushin
g glances, he was looking away, keeping his eyes cast down at the book he held.

  Before dinner, I told him about Aurora’s likely release. He took it well… and not. He had nodded, eyes dark with worry; then he held me close, as if she might appear out of nowhere and rip me away from him. The freedom he’d felt from finding the books vanished. The clock was ticking again, and I was left wishing I’d waited a little longer to tell him the bad news.

  The lower lounge was quiet, just us. We ate well-done burgers that were more like hockey pucks than actual meat. When it became clear that I couldn’t stomach mine, Eric traded me for it, giving me his limp fries. Not a great day for the cafeteria.

  I shoved a cold fry in my mouth, chewing it to a nasty paste, and carefully turned the page of the thinnest spell book with my pinky and ring finger-the only two that weren’t covered in grease and salt.

  “These things are impossible to figure out,” I complained. “It’s just stuff. Lavender. Basil. Sage. Is she cooking a chicken or what?”

  Eric gave an awkward laugh, a sign that the cryptic lists were getting to him too. It was just that-lists. A handful of this. One of those and a pinch of that. No labels, no descriptions. Nothing.

  Eric swiped the back of his hand across his furrowed brow as he read, then went back to rubbing my foot.

  “Yours isn’t any different?” I asked.

  “No,” he muttered in a low tone. “She has a few bad drawings. Some stuff is written in a different language and it’s faded. I can’t read half of it.”

  I lifted it from his hands and inspected the weathered pages carefully. “I think yours is the oldest. It’s in the worst shape.”

  “Do you think she knows that we have them?” he asked apprehensively.

  “How could she?”

  He shrugged. “How does she ever know anything? Maybe we should make copies. We should have backups, just in case, and lock up the originals.”

  “That’s a really good idea,” I agreed. “Do you know what belladonna is?”