See You Smile

by Dawn Sister

  Cal sits beside me on the couch, although not as close as he was sitting at the kitchen bench. I think he realises that was perhaps a little too close. Not that I was complaining, just…..oh well,

  "So what do you want to watch?" I ask him and he shrugs,

  "What do you like?" he asks, his words slow, as if he is warming his voice up again after having lost it. What must that feel like though? To get so stressed you can't even speak. It must be horrible.

  I indicate the shelves containing my extensive DVD collection and his eyes widen. I'm surprised he hasn't noticed before, the fact that two entire walls in my living room are taken up with shelves from floor to ceiling stacked full of DVDs. Or maybe he has and just hasn't felt confident enough to ogle over it yet. I can see him struggling not to get excited now though,

  "Take your pick." I am quite happy to leave the choice up to him.

  He stands and walks over to take a look,

  "Oh my god, Jake, you have hundreds of old movies." He turns back to face me with an air of excitement so I have to take this as a compliment rather than a dig at the age of my movie collection, "What do you want to watch?" he asks. I shrug this time,

  "I prefer to call them Classics, Cal, but just pick anything. You can pretty much guarantee that if it's in my collection I like watching it."

  Cal bites his lip and nods,

  "And you don't mind watching with the subtitles?" I just stare at him as if he's grown two heads,

  "Why on earth should I mind that?" I ask him, "Have you seen how many foreign language movies I have?" he frowns and looks back at the shelves.

  His eyes are darting everywhere with great interest and vainly disguised excitement. I think I may have successfully found a distraction for him and I didn't have to even get up off my seat.

  I sink back into the cushions with a heavy sigh, finally focusing on my own aches and pains that I had put on hold to concentrate on him. Although I think I might have found my perfect distraction too: in the form of the excitement in Cal's blue eyes as he drools over my movie collection.

  My head still hurts, but not as much. I still feel like I was hit by a bulldozer but the aches have all dulled a little. My throat is still raspy and raw but that will get better I'm sure.

  Cal returns to the couch with two boxes in his hands,

  "I can't decide." He shows me both choices, "I haven't seen either. I think they were both released before I was born."

  I glance at the titles and he's right. If he's twenty one then these two movies were released well before he was born. I can't believe he hasn't seen either of them though,

  "Your education is seriously lacking, Cal." I comment, "How are you ever going to understand the older generation if you have no idea about what influenced us?"

  He chuckles, "So you're saying you were influenced by teenage vampires and kids on adventures without their parents?" he asks with a shrug, "That's pretty much what I've been influenced by as well."

  "Yeah, but come on, this one has Kiefer Sutherland in it when he was super hot." I tell him, "Before he started looking like his dad."

  "Kiefer Sutherland has a dad?" Cal asks me and I groan, because I know where this is going from the impish tone in his voice, "He must be even older than you." I notice his smirk and I nudge him playfully,

  "Asshole." I hiss, "Put the damn DVD into the machine and let's watch it, then you can decide who was the hotter vampire: Kiefer Sutherland or Robert Pattinson."

  "Don't forget David Boreanaz." He reminds me, "He was a hot Vampire too."

  I bite my lip and groan, closing my eyes and picturing the perfection, "Oh god yes."

  He chuckles, out loud, which I've never actually heard him do before, and it makes me smile. It actually lights me up from the inside, makes my heart beat faster than any of the sexy vampires we've just been talking about.

  I actually have a great sense of achievement too. Ten minutes ago this guy was as close to breaking down into a heap of jello on my kitchen floor as anyone I've ever seen and now he's laughing and smiling and I did that. I made him laugh, and I made him smile. Well done Jake. Mission accomplished. Now I just have to hide this growing attraction I have for him before he discovers it and runs for the hills. Although, I can't actually remember when we discussed the big thing we have in common. When did he actually tell me he's gay? When the hell did I tell him?

  There are still some big gaps in my memory about Saturday night and I am going to have to ask him just exactly what I said and did.

  That can wait though, because discussions while you're watching a classic movie, and concentrating on subtitles is not really possible, plus, discussion becomes rather more impossible when you fall asleep in your host's lap.

  Sarah walks in about twenty minutes into the movie with steaming mugs of Hot Chocolate for us all and some delicious looking doughnuts with chocolate sprinkles. She takes one look at the scene before her though and sighs deeply,

  "Oh." She whispers as she places the mugs and doughnuts on the coffee table, "I think I might just go now." She tells me in as hushed a tone as she can, although it's not as if she's going to disturb Cal who is now sleeping peacefully, snoring slightly, with his head on a cushion that is resting on my lap.

  I have no idea how he got there, it just happened. My hand is resting on his shoulder though and I think he placed it there. I have my feet up on a footstool and I am close to falling asleep as well. I shrug my shoulders at Sarah's questioning look. She gives me a knowing smile and creeps out so as not to disturb either of us.

  I fall asleep listening to Cal's soft snoring, too sick to wonder what the hell is going on.

  Chapter Nine: More Stalking (or Old Habits Die Hard)

  Two weeks I've been laid up with that virus. Two whole fucking weeks, and if it hadn't been for my amazing, kind, capable and incredibly patient next door neighbour I think I might have gone mad.

  He's been here every day since that first morning when I thought all I had was a hangover. He even stayed a few nights, although I suspect his need to stay had nothing to do with how sick I was and everything to do with the fact that our bombastic Sheriff arrested him for no reason. I also suspect my DVD collection was the main draw since I can't imagine spending several hours a day camping out on a couch with a sick, snotty, smelly old guy can have been any fun for him otherwise.

  Whatever the reason though, I am very grateful he has been my greatest source of company, amusement and entertainment for the last fortnight. His presence is monumentally more welcome than my motherly older sister. She has currently taken up residence in my kitchen along with Lou Anne. They've been in there a good hour and a half. I have no idea what they have had to talk about over that time. I think they've started a coven.

  "When are the two of you going to actually get up off that sofa?" Sarah asks us as she enters the living room and stands with her hands on her hips taking in the sight with a look of disapproval in her eyes.

  "In case you haven't noticed, I've been too sick to move." I say archly, giving Cal a wink and making him smirk,

  "I've been looking after him." Cal gives her an innocent look whilst also managing to have a hint of impishness in his expression that is altogether too distracting.

  Sarah huffs loudly,

  "The two of you are as bad as each other. You've spent two weeks watching movies like a pair of coach potatoes. You'll grow roots if you stay there much longer. Time you got up off your sick bed and took a shower." She huffs, pointing her finger at me. I scowl, what is she implying? I showered yesterday, "And you…" she points at Cal who sits back a little in the seat looking slightly shocked, "It's a beautiful day, get out there and go surfing with all your buddies already taking advantage of the waves today." She turns and leaves us to it with another snort of disapproval.

  "I take offense at that." I announce to the room in general but making sure Cal sees me,

  "Yeah?" Cal answers and I smile at him, "What part was offensive, since most of it was actually
true?"

  "We haven't been sitting on this sofa for two solid weeks, no matter what Sarah thinks. You've been out surfing a few times and I've even managed to change my sweat pants and socks." Cal chuckles silently, his shoulders shaking,

  "Yeah, thank god for small mercies." He mutters. I huff and throw a cushion at him but miss, despite the fact he is only sitting at the other end of the sofa.

  "That was useless," Cal snorts, "Where did you learn to throw cushions?" he throws it back and hits me square in the face, "That's how you throw cushions." He snorts at the indignant expression on my face.

  Cal then bites his lip and looks torn as his eyes flicker towards the window that overlooks the beach and then back to me.

  Suddenly I feel monumentally guilty and utterly selfish for keeping him cooped up in here all this time. In two weeks he's only been out surfing twice despite the weather being amazing. I know he didn't have to be here, and he could have stopped coming after a few days once he knew I wasn't actually going to die (I'm certain he thought that at first). Sarah is right though, he needs to get out there in the sunshine and fresh air.

  He told me he has no friends, but I can only think that's because he hasn't been here long enough to make any his own age. He's not likely to either if he's here and not out there amongst all the rest of the surfing crowd. They're all a pretty friendly bunch, it won't take him long.

  Part of me is dying inside as I wonder whether our friendship will continue as intensely as it has once Cal has a wider circle of friends. I know I've obsessed about him, and I still do think he is the most exquisitely beautiful creature I've ever set eyes on, but I think I have to accept there can't be anything but friendship between us. I'm sure the thought of us being anything else but friends would reduce him to hysterics anyway. The age gap is too big, despite how well we get on together. And that's fine with me, because if we're friends at least I get to spend some time with him. He'll get bored staying here with me out of some warped sense of loyalty though, and then where will I be?

  "Go on!" I urge, hiding my reluctance to push him away. He gives the beach another wistful look, "You know you want to, and I don't need a nursemaid anymore." He grins,

  "You sure you can manage on your own now, old man?" he asks, using a nickname he's found for me that just seems to sum up our friendship and draw a line that just can't be crossed. I purse my lips and narrow my eyes,

  "Get outta here whippersnapper." I snipe and shove him off the sofa with my feet.

  He snorts and stands, smoothing down his slightly crumpled T shirt causing me to have to avert my eyes when the cloth pulls taught over his firm, flat stomach. How the hell have I managed to spend two weeks lounging on this couch with him and not have any kind of reaction, only to feel myself getting hot under the collar when he straightens out his T shirt? That's a sure sign that I'm feeling better. I think I need some time to get my thoughts in some kind of order and to concentrate on something other than Cal.

  "Should I come back over later?" his expression is almost hopeful, like he really wants me to say yes. Or, is he simply showing friendly concern and I'm letting my imagination read more into it than there is?

  I should refuse but I can't. I want him to come back over. I know I'm making a rod for my own back and there'll be heartache later but I need to bask in his sunshine while I can,

  "Yeah, okay." I say brightly, "We can get pizza and watch another movie that's older than you." He grins,

  "That'll be just about every one you have in your collection then." He calls back as he disappears through the door. I shake my head and chuckle,

  "Cheeky bastard." I mutter as I stand and stretch out the kinks in my muscles.

  I need to get myself motivated into doing some work but first I need some coffee and that means running the gauntlet of the coven that has gathered in my kitchen,

  "Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged out of his pit." Sarah gets up to give me a kiss on the cheek, "How you feeling tiger?" she asks me affectionately.

  I roll my eyes,

  "A lot better thanks." I give Lou Anne a wink and she giggles,

  "I guess partying hard just isn't for us oldies now huh?" she asks. I grimace,

  "I don't think the hangover that mutated into flu has persuaded me to carry on my partying lifestyle, no."

  She chuckles.

  "Is Cal still here?" Sarah asks as she glances around the door to check if he has really gone,

  "No, he's gone surfing, like you suggested." I tell her, "Because you used your Teacher Voice on him and terrorised him into doing as he's told." She wrinkles her nose but ignores my jibe,

  "I was beginning to think he'd taken up permanent residence." I shake my head with a sigh,

  "No, Sarah, I did not sleep with him."

  "I didn't say that." She says archly. She turns to Lou Anne, "Did I say that?" Lou Anne shakes her head chuckling,

  "Methinks the lady doth protest too much though." Lou Anne quips and I scowl. She's no help at all.

  Why are they both so convinced that I've slept with Cal? The only people who don't believe it are me, because I know it didn't happen and Cal who is oblivious to the fact that anyone is thinking this is what our relationship is.

  I'm sure if he did have any kind of inkling that people are thinking this about us he wouldn't be over here as often, or even at all.

  "He showered here the other day." Sarah nods knowingly at Lou Anne and they both watch for my reaction,

  "So?" I cock one eyebrow archly, "He'd just been surfing."

  "He just lives across the drive." Lou Anne continues with amusement.

  What is this anyway, the Spanish Inquisition?

  "My shower is as good as any." I shrug, "I really have no problem with him using my shower instead of his."

  "Yeah, but he's here all the time, Jake." As if I needed to be told that, "What is going on with you two?"

  "We're just friends." I tell her, "He was concerned that I was sick so he stayed to keep me company. That's what friends do. We're just friends." I have no idea why I need to say that twice, except maybe to convince myself as well,

  "Yeah, but come on Jake, he's twenty one and you're forty five." Sarah pipes up. I meet Lou Anne's eyes and she shrugs, because I remember her saying that I shouldn't let the age gap be a barrier,

  "So!" I feel stubborn, sullen and a little defensive now, "There's no law against intergenerational friendships is there?"

  "No." She's beginning to sound just as sullen, "Just, be careful." She says, as if this is only advice she can think to give me. As if this is the only objection she has to my friendship with Cal.

  Doesn't she realise that I have thought up enough arguments myself against pursuing anything but friendship with this guy? I know fine well that Lou Anne will have told my sister everything we talked about at her party that night though. They tell each other everything so they both know I'm attracted to Cal. Well attraction has to go both ways, and he might be gay, but he's never going to be attracted to me so that's that.

  "Well, ladies, it's been amazing talking to you both, but if you don't mind I'll just get myself some coffee and go get some work done." I suddenly need some time alone to my morbid, hopeless unrequited thoughts.

  Sarah huffs at me and Lou Anne shrugs her shoulders. My impression is that they've already discussed the situation between Cal and me to the nth degree and have agreed to disagree.

  I take my coffee and go to the desk in my study. It has a great view of the beach, so I can check my emails and keep half an eye on the surfers out there enjoying the waves.