Fearless

by Tawdra Kandle

  Sometimes events converge in such a way that we just can’t help but believe in some kind of higher power. Call it fate, call it God. Whatever it is, I believe in it.

  It was the early part of November, and at King High, we were in the midst of mid-term exams. I wasn’t at all worried about English or History. French had the potential to be a little challenging. I had to perform a four minute speech for the class of the same name, which didn’t delight me but at least didn’t involve hours of study.

  Trig and Chemistry were going to present my biggest challenges. I was spending long hours pouring over the books and working problems with Michael. He was endlessly patient, never rolling his eyes or even thinking about how surprisingly clueless his girlfriend was.

  Right in the middle of all this academia, the publisher my mother was working with on her latest illustrating venture requested that she fly to New York for a few days of face-to-face meetings. My mom vacillated about it for almost a day, worrying about leaving my dad and me to our own devices for a week. In the end, though, she decided to go.

  Her absence meant that I now had a car to drive to and from school, which seemed like one of those convenient coincidences: Michael was pulling extra hours at the nursery as they geared up for the holiday season, and his botany professor, impressed with Michael’s hard work and natural ability in class, had arranged for his extra hours to count as an internship. It was a wonderful opportunity, but it meant that I had to find my own way home.

  A couple of days, I had walked home with Amber and hung out at her house. Her mother was glad to see her making healthy friendships. Their home was warm and comfortable, and I enjoyed the time I spent there, even while I missed my rides home with Michael.

  I knew Michael missed our afternoons together, too. He was grumbling about it as we drove into the school parking lot on Tuesday morning of mid-term week.

  “I feel like I’m missing something when I leave every day,” he complained.

  “Well, you are,” I replied. “You’re missing me. But it’s only until the end of the semester. And how cool is it that you’re getting school credit for your work at the nursery!”

  “Yeah,” Michael conceded. “That’s true. But it doesn’t mean it’s easier not seeing you between lunch and the next morning.”

  “Now that I can use my mom’s car, maybe I could ride over and see you tomorrow,” I offered. “I could drive myself to school, and then out to the nursery after school. You know, later in the afternoon. I wouldn’t bother you while you were working.”

  Michael turned off the car and smiled at me. “That’s the best idea I’ve heard all week. But how will I last from now until then?”

  I giggled. “I guess you’ll just have to soldier on.”

  “Well, then, kiss me well enough to get me through until I see you at the nursery.”

  I leaned back far enough that my head rested nearly on the steering wheel, my arms wrapped around my heavy backpack. From that vantage point I looked up into Michael’s gorgeous eyes and smiled. Then I shifted slightly, raising my head just enough to meet his lips with my own.

  I was lost almost immediately in the intimacy of the kiss. In one way, pinned to the seat by my bag, I felt vulnerable, but knowing that I had initiated this made me feel exultant. I could hear Michael’s murmuring thoughts, all endearments and croonings. Finally, when I felt my heart would pound out of my chest, he pulled away. Leaning back on the headrest, he blew out a long breath. “Whew. Wow. Okay.”

  Innocently, I fluttered my eyes at him, still trying to catch my own breath. “Will that hold you until this afternoon?”

  “Um, I’m not sure. That might have hurt more than helped.” But he gave me a gentle boost up again and brushed a hand over my hair as I got out of the car. I threw him the sweetest smile I could muster as we headed toward school.

  Amber was waiting at my locker.

  “Hi, Tas,” she greeted me. “I was wondering if you want to walk home with me today. Maybe we could study for the English exam.”

  Michael leaned down and brushed a quick kiss over my lips. “I’m going to get into class early and do some cramming while you two work out your plans. I’ll talk to you tonight, Tas.”

  My eyes followed him down the walkway as I answered Amber. “That sounds good. I can definitely use the extra study time.”

  “We could do it tomorrow, if that would be better,” Amber offered, and I could hear the hesitation in her voice and mind. Our friendship was still new, and she worried about asking for too much.

  “No, today would be great,” I assured her. “Actually, tomorrow I’m planning to go out and spend the afternoon with Michael. With my mom away, I can use her car, so I thought I’d take advantage of it!”

  “Good idea.” Amber threw me an understanding smile. “Okay. I’ll see you at lunch!” She pushed off the wall and moved away through the crowd. As I closed my locker, I caught the very edge of a darkly familiar mind, and I glanced around uneasily.

  Just across the walkway, Nell stood against the wall, making no attempt to disguise the fact that she was staring at me. Our eyes met for a moment and for just a split second, I could hear her clearly.

  I wonder…

  And then the thought noise of everyone surging around us intruded, and involuntarily, I winced and closed my eyes, putting my hand to my head. When I looked up again, Nell was gone, and I was left with a lingering sense of dread that stayed with me the rest of the day.