Heart of Decadence (Handful of Hearts Book 5)

by Jenna Jaxon

  Amelia sighed. “It seems a shame to wait after we have already waited so long.”

  “The correct response to that is, I believe, that having waited this long already, a little longer should not be an undue hardship.” His chuckle had a hollow ring to it. “I suppose that depends on who must do the waiting. But I shall endeavor to make the time go fast. We shall continue our outings in Hyde Park in the afternoons and various entertainments at night. You must go shopping for a new trousseau and be introduced to the servants at Ainsley Place.”

  “Goodness, will three weeks be enough time to have everything accomplished?” Her mock horror was not lost on her betrothed, who chuckled.

  “Not three weeks, my love, but a mere two weeks and a day. If we begin the banns this Sunday, we can be married in a little more than a fortnight.” He leaned over and growled in her ear. “And not a minute too soon.”

  By the time they reached the willow again, her face no longer pulsed with fire, though she was still atwitter to think of the news to tell. Her parents would be so pleased with this alliance to a noble family. Her marriage should assure that next year her sisters would be received warmly. Perhaps she could be the one to bring them out. Unless by that time she was increasing. Still, it could be managed. With Lord Ainsley by her side, nothing seemed insurmountable.

  “Are you ready to partner me at the card table once again, Miss Burrowes? We played well together last time.” They had reached the few steps to the veranda when something occurred to Amelia.

  “My lord, earlier you said you had two questions to ask me, but I believe you only asked the one.”

  “Yes, I believe I was kept too busy with your answer to the first to even think of asking the other.” He chuckled and patted her hand, secure in the crook of his elbow.

  “But what was the second question, my lord?”

  “Will you please call me by my given name now?”

  “Oh, yes, of course.” She looked up at him expectantly.

  “Nathan.”

  “Nathan, I do remember now.” Such a strong name. It rolled off her tongue delightfully. “So, Nathan, what was your second question?”

  His laughter filled the night. “My love, that was the question. As we are now betrothed, I thought we could be more familiar with one another without fear of censure.”

  “I am such a goose. My head is in a whirl.”

  He waited before opening the door, though she had no idea what for. “May I be so bold as to ask to call you by your first name, Miss Burrowes?”

  Her hand flew to her mouth. “Oh, Nathan, I am so sorry. Of course, please call me Amelia.”

  Nodding, he lifted her hand for a brief kiss. “With the greatest pleasure in the world, Amelia. And the most profound joy.”

  Chapter 8

  “Such a spate of weddings we’re having this Season.” Lady Celinda Graham had stopped to chat to her as she headed down the receiving line at Amelia’s wedding breakfast. “I do hope Lord Finley and I will be one of them eventually. Papa is being difficult. He’s taken the gentleman in dislike and nothing I say—or how I say it—seems to make a jot of difference.”

  “I truly hope your father will come around to your way of thinking, Celinda.” Amelia glanced down the line, but her guest need not be in a hurry. “I would wish for you the same happiness I have with Lord Ainsley.”

  “Oh, you can call him Nathan to me, Amelia. We are cousins. Kate and I grew up together, practically, so no need to be formal. Both of you are married now.” Celinda pulled a woebegone face. “I certainly hope that trend continues in the family.”

  There had been a flurry of weddings, to be sure. Last week Lord Haversham had married Kate via special license. Nathan had protested, but his friend had told him he must strike while the iron was hot but before he got burned with it. He and Kate were ever squabbling, but Nathan assured her that was their particular way of courtship.

  Thank goodness she and Nathan had no such peculiarities. The worst of theirs had been the interminable wait. A fortnight sounded so short, but in reality, it had dragged on so slowly she thought at times she would scream in frustration. She wanted to be married and in Nathan’s bed. For ten years, they’d been waiting, and the wretched man would not even consider anticipating the wedding night.

  “We have gone all topsy-turvy, my love.” Nathan had stood beside her watching the dancing at his sister’s wedding breakfast last week. “After what happened before, I cannot believe you are the one who is proposing such a scandalous liaison and I am preaching patience. Normally, I’d think those roles would be reversed.”

  “Nothing has been normal about our courtship, my dear. Why should it be so now?” She’d looked longingly at his handsome profile, dreaming about what he would look like without his cravat tied so tightly around his neck, without that shirt with the stiff collar, or jacket, or his breeches. Swallowing hard, she turned her attention back to the dancers as Lord Haversham and Kate twirled by in a waltz. Only one more week of exemplary behavior and then they could ravish one another to their hearts’ content.

  Now, with her own wedding day finally here, a glance about the almost-empty room where the breakfast had been set filled Amelia with dismay. She could not help but believe that their recent sacrifice had been for nothing. Their wedding had been a small affair at St. Georges this morning, with only her parents and sisters, Kate, and Marcus, and his sister in attendance. An air of unreality had washed over her as she’d said her vows to Nathan. And the first time he’d called her Lady Ainsley she’d ignored him, not realizing he was addressing her.

  Happiness had slowly seeped into her, bringing with it all the fulfillment she’d dreamed of since she’d first met him. At present, however, as she stood in the receiving line, with only a handful of people other than those who’d attended the wedding making their way to them, wishing them happy, the joy began to pall.

  Nathan had insisted on inviting half the ton to the breakfast, to assure himself that she would be accepted by the people who would decree whether or not their children would be outcasts because of the rumors and lies told about their mother. When she glanced up at him, his mouth was drawn into a pucker she’d come to learn meant he was dangerously displeased and likely to take immediate action about something. What action he could take, singlehandedly against Society as a whole, she couldn’t fathom. But something must be done or her sisters’ outlooks for next Season were as bleak as they’d ever been.

  “Shall we mingle with our guests, my love?” Amelia smoothed her new blue-striped silk gown, one of the extraordinary number of gowns she’d acquired. There was much she would need to get used to in her new life.

  “Such as they are,” Nathan grumbled, but took her hand good-naturedly. “I suppose we shall have to come up with another plan for wooing the ton. Perhaps our friends can help devise a way to convince Society that your reputation was ruined in error, although people usually need very strong proof to change their minds.”

  “I doubt such proof exists, my dear.” They headed toward Amelia’s parents, who were speaking with Lord and Lady Haversham.

  “Well, I suspect it does, but we shall not be able to convince anyone of its existence until it no longer exists.”

  Still pondering that enigmatic statement, Amelia greeted her guests, making small talk about the feast spread out in the room around them, but all the while highly aware of Nathan beside her. In just a little while he’d promised they could slip away to their apartments and finally be alone. Despite the disappointment of the many missing guests, she would always remember their wedding day as the most wonderful of her life. Because she and Nathan would be together forever.

  “And now if you will excuse us, Mr. and Mrs. Burrowes, Lord and Lady Haversham,” he bowed and grasped Amelia’s arm, “I must finish showing Lady Ainsley the rest of the house. We’ve been so busy settling her things in here and preparing for the wedding that I haven’t had the chance to acquaint her with everything that is now her domain.”<
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  Her parents bowed and moved off to speak with Lord and Lady Ivor, but a strangled sound from Lord Haversham drew Amelia’s attention to him and his new wife. His face had that pinched look about it, as if he were trying not to laugh. Kate seemed to be biting the inside of her mouth and studiously avoiding her husband’s gaze.

  “Perhaps you could show us as well, Nathan?” His sister grinned up at him, mischief snapping in her eyes. “I daresay there are things about the house that I have never seen as well.”

  “And will have to continue to be ignorant of, my love.” Her husband took her hand. “I believe they are about to play a waltz.” A peculiar light blazed in his eyes. “You would not disappoint me, would you?”

  “Of course not, Haversham. You know how much I love a waltz, especially as it is a dance for married couples.” Kate gazed into his face, oblivious of the rest of them. “Another time, brother?”

  “Of course, my dear.” Nathan exchanged a look with his friend. “Best of luck to you, Marcus.”

  “And to you as well.” Grinning, Lord Haversham took his wife’s arm and led her to the area where a few couples were about to commence the dance.

  Nathan seized her arm. “Let us make our escape before Kate decides she’d rather devil us than dance with her husband.” Swiftly, he led her out of the ballroom, down a corridor and up the stairs, finally arriving at the viscountess’s suite of rooms. Her rooms now.

  “Your maid is here, ready to assist you in any way.” He dipped his head and kissed her, waves of that lovely heat his touch always brought coursing through her. “I will see you shortly.”

  He slipped further down the corridor to his suite and Amelia smiled as she sped inside her chamber. At last the waiting was over.

  * * * *

  Despite the summer’s day outside, a fire blazed in Amelia’s bedroom, taking the slight chill from the room, though it did nothing to allay the sudden nervousness that assailed her as soon as her maid left. She’d been wishing for this moment for longer than most brides and now that it was upon her, she might fly to pieces. No longer a lady in the bloom of her youth, but a mature woman with plump curves, she’d neglected to consider that her body would soon be on display as never before. What if he didn’t like what he saw? The week before last they’d celebrated her thirtieth birthday, a time when some women were almost past their childbearing years. What if she was too old to bear Nathan’s children? If she could not give him an heir, what would they do? Why had they not discussed any of these things before they married?

  She lay back in the bed, her hair fanning out over the pillow, resisting the urge to pull the covers over her face and hide. This was her long-awaited wedding night, and she was determined to enjoy it, no matter what. She would think of all those things another time.

  The door that connected her suite to the viscount’s rooms opened, and Nathan entered, dressed in a blue silk banyan with a gold leaf print, carrying two glasses of champagne.

  Her mouth dried instantly as she took in his superb form, for the robe divulged as much as it concealed. The soft silk draped elegantly over his wide shoulders, revealing their true shape rather than the usual square cut of his jacket. Although tied at the waist, the garment moved seductively as he walked across the floor, giving her tantalizing glimpses of what lay beneath—a flash of his strong calves, a show of muscular thighs, and a shadowy glimpse of something above them both…and suddenly the room had become much too warm.

  “Here, my love.” He handed her a cool glass and she seized it with shaking fingers. “Let us toast our marriage.” Gazing deeply into her eyes, he raised his glass. “May we live long, love well, and enjoy true happiness always.” They touched their glasses together then instead of drinking, he seized her head and brought her lips to his.

  As ever when they kissed, Amelia’s pulse pounded, her lips warmed, and her body tingled. This time, however, with all of him so very close, and only a thin piece of fabric between her skin and his, a terrible ache formed deep within her, at her very core. Like a giant spring being wound tighter and tighter every time he thrust his tongue into her mouth. She moaned and twisted, wishing she could get rid of the champagne and wrap her arms around the body so temptingly close.

  Either Nathan had the same idea or had somehow read her thoughts, for he pulled his lips away from hers—ever so reluctantly—then grasped her glass and plucked it from her fingers. “Drink a bit of this, sweetheart. You’ll be glad of it.”

  She nodded and he put the glass to her lips, letting her take tiny sips, careful not to spill it on her. The tart, refreshing wine seemed to clear her head, making her sit up straighter, shake her hair until it rippled down her back, and lower the sheet until her shoulders were bare.

  He’d turned to put the glasses on a table and when he turned back, he stopped, his gaze fastened on her naked skin. “Amelia, dear Lord, but you are beautiful.” Slowly, he slid his hands down her neck, over her shoulders, until he pushed the sheet away and she allowed it to drop to her waist. His ragged breath sounded loudly in the still room. “I see I misspoke, my love. You are exquisite.”

  Catching his excitement, Amelia pulled the belt of his robe until it slithered to the floor then boldly reached up to push his robe off his shoulders, as strong and broad as she’d suspected. They gave way to a lean, well-muscled chest that tapered to a small waist. The smooth skin invited her touch and she ran her hand, first cautiously then more boldly, from shoulder to waist. Lower than that was still hidden by the bed. Not for long.

  “You do know what we will do here, don’t you, Amelia?” His quiet voice broke the silence.

  “I do.” Unwavering, she met his hot gaze. “I have known for some time.”

  His eyes widened for an instant, and he paused.

  “My mother explained it to me when I was betrothed to Lord Carrington.”

  His brows rose then he nodded. “Then can you find room in that bed for me?”

  Smiling, she scooted over and pulled back the covers. “Gladly, my lord.”

  He slid in next to her and turned on his side to face her. With a firm hand, he gripped her waist, pulling her to him until their bodies truly touched at every point and she ached for more. “Then by all means, let us begin at last.”

  * * * *

  Candlelight glowed all about Amelia’s chamber, giving the very air a softness and beauty she’d never noticed before. Perhaps everything would seem different now. The man lying next to her—stretched out on his back, one arm flung over his head—had changed her life in so many ways, nothing would ever be the same. She rolled onto her side once more, eager just to watch him sleep. His face in repose gave no indication of the strength, the tenderness, the passion he had given her, and brought out of her in return.

  They’d made love three times, each somewhat different yet gloriously the same. And it had left her so exhausted she should’ve been sleeping right alongside him, yet she’d never been so wide awake in her life, so aware of every part of her body, for he seemed to have touched every inch. Would it be wrong of her to wake him up so he could touch her again? If she was shameless, she didn’t care. She was making up for lost time.

  “Didn’t you get any sleep?” Nathan’s eyes were open, his gaze sleepily trained on her. A lazy smile touched his lips, so slight he might indeed return to his slumber.

  “A little. I couldn’t seem to stay asleep.” Afraid she’d wake up in her bed at home from a dream too good to be true. “I hope I didn’t awaken you.”

  Nathan rolled up on his side to face her, his hand straying out to tug at her disheveled hair. “Not at all. I’ve only dozed a bit myself.” His smile broadened. “Too pleasantly engaged to want to sleep.”

  Her cheeks heated as she remembered the intimacies they’d shared, although they’d done nothing to be ashamed about.

  “I assume you are a little sore?”

  She nodded, her face aflame now.

  “I am sorry for it.” His gentle voice soothed her embarrassmen
t. “Although I’m grateful I was the one to introduce you to these particular pleasures.” He kissed her fingers, sending warmth straight to her core. “I promise you, the soreness will fade shortly. It’s only the first time that hurts so.” He smiled and pulled her over to him. “Although repetition may indeed play a part in that as well. If you wish, we can say you are indisposed and choose to remain here in your chamber today.”

  That might be very nice. A day in which to simply stay in bed and… Do what they, in fact, had been doing. “But wouldn’t people assume then that we were…”

  “I believe they would indeed suspect how we were passing the time.”

  “Oh, dear.” Amelia sat up. “That will never do. They cannot think that we are here, in this bed—”

  “My love.” Nathan’s grin spanned his face as he drew her back down into the bed. “They know what we are doing. We are married and,” he lowered his voice to a whisper, “this is what married people do.”

  “I know. But I don’t want people to know it.” That still seemed wicked, somehow.

  “You will become used to being a married lady, with all the privileges thereof. Like breakfast in bed…and other things in bed.” He nuzzled her neck, making her groan with pleasure.

  “Like you in my bed. Could you stay with me, Nathan?” If people already knew what they did behind their chamber door, it shouldn’t matter, after all.

  “Not the entire day, my love.” He kissed his way down her neck to her chest. “I will need to visit Marcus to see what he has heard. Why the ton did not, for the most part, deign to come to our breakfast. More people than those who appeared have spoken to you at Mrs. Doyle’s and at the other entertainments we’ve attended these past weeks. I want to know why they’re still staying away.” Raising his head, he gazed into her eyes, the tenderness there so incredibly sweet. “Especially now that I know the truth for certain.”