by Mary Smith
Stepping down off the crate, Shade hesitated to take the man’s hand. However, the promise of food gave him hope he’d get more to eat.
He took his outstretched hand, and it changed his life forever.
Slowly coming back to reality, Shade swallowed the lump in his throat. The noise around him was familiar and not at the same time. Even though the memory seemed fresh it had been over twenty years.
Over twenty years?
How had that much time gone by? How he had changed and grown in all those years. Now, he was thirty. The big three-oh. He planned for this birthday to be much different than what it was at the moment. Looking up at the window—one last time—he pulled away from the curb and was off to his next destination.
Shade maneuvered through Buffalo traffic to the restaurant where he and Jenessa first met. This time he parked and actually went inside. Sitting in a booth, he stared at the two tables where his life truly changed.
The waitress came over, and he ordered coffee. His eyes continued to wander over to the area. Many happy memories floated through his mind. All involving Jenessa.
He had wanted their first date to be memorable, but he didn’t have much money. Just his left-over student loan money and what little bit he received from his odd jobs. Feeling as if he should take her to the fanciest place in town, he knew he wouldn’t be able to. However, he knew how to have fun with a small amount of money.
Their memorable first date ended up being at an arcade. Sure it seemed childish, but Jenessa never complained. In fact, he could still hear her laughter and cheers as she beat him—three times—at air hockey. He had claimed to be distracted by her beauty, which hadn’t been a lie. She was the most beautiful being his eyes ever laid on.
“Are you okay?”
The waitress’s question made him jerk. “Um…yes. Yes, I’m okay. Thank you.” He dropped some money on the table and slid out of the booth and went back to the rental car.
Slowly making his way back to the hotel, he passed the campus. Memories flooded him as he remembered certain buildings with his favorite classes and professors. Then the hockey rink that changed the way he played, and how to handle himself.
Being in foster care and bouncing from place to place, he knew when to keep his head down and when he needed to make his presence known. Shade never liked to fight or even cause problems. Generally, he stayed in the corner and remained alone. He found it easier.
No one believed he would make it in college, but he knew it would be the only way out and to make something of himself. Yes, he lived on his student loans and odd jobs, but it was his only option. When he saw the signs for the hockey walk-on tryouts, he found them to be a bit strange. He figured they wouldn’t need walk-ons. But he decided to give it a shot.
His equipment was mismatched, extremely used, and worn out, but he had his stick. The last foster home he was at loved hockey, which is where he received the hand me down equipment.
On the ice, he felt alive and someone or something must have been thinking he deserved a break. Shade played one of his best games, holding his own on the ice better than most on the roster.
He earned a spot.
Shade returned the rental and Uber’d back to the hotel. When he strolled in, Jarvis was in the room watching TV.
“Where have you been?”
“Just needed to be alone.” He fell onto his bed.
“Edgar and I were going to take you out to lunch for your birthday.”
“Sorry, man,” he mumbled, feeling bad. However, he needed time for himself today.
“No big deal. Are you okay?”
Shade sat up. “Yeah. It’s okay.”
“It’s okay or you’re okay?”
He didn’t answer because he honestly didn’t know the answer.
Jarvis opened his mouth to say something, but a knock at the door stopped him. He got off the bed and opened the door. Shade heard the words dinner and glanced down at this watch. He hadn’t realized how long he’d been driving around.
“You coming?”
“Go on and save me a spot. I’ll be right there,” Shade said, feeling his phone vibrating in his pocket.
The name of the divorce lawyer glowed on the screen.
“Hello.”
“Mr. Wooten, Grant here.”
“Grant, how are things coming along?”
“Well.”
Shade heard a deep sigh.
“I did the petition just as you asked. I’m holding it to ensure you hadn’t changed your mind on anything.”
He paused. He hoped Jenessa would have reached out to him by now. Still nothing.
“All I want is my truck and half of the savings account. She can have everything else.” He debated about the money, but he didn’t want Jenessa to think he was being greedy. Although, it could help him get his own place.
“You know—”
“Yes.” Shade cut him off. “I know I don’t have to give her everything, but it’s what I want to do.”
After a few seconds of silence, Grant conceded and said he would get everything ready to file.
When Shade ended the call, he just sat in the quiet room. The tears seemed to bubble up from behind his eyes. He never wanted this. He only ever wanted Jenessa and their marriage. However, he couldn’t make her happy anymore.
He had failed.
Failed at the one thing he thought he was good at in life.
Not being able to sit in the hotel room any longer, since it felt as if the walls were closing in, he went down to the team dinner.
Nova and Janan were like their godfather, Oliver Matthews, in the fact they loved the team being all together as much as possible. Oliver would do many events throughout the season and offseason to gather everyone into one room or place.
Team dinners were just the same.
A buffet-style layout had everything you could ever want. Shade came in at the tail end of the line. Filling his plate, he made his way over to the table where Jarvis, Edgar, Dag, Zerrick, and Walker sat. Jarvis had kept a seat for him.
“Happy birthday, Captain,” Zerrick greeted him first.
“Yeah, happy birthday,” Walker added.
“Thanks, everyone,” Shade said.
The guys were focusing on eating, all thinking about the game in a few hours. Small conversations were happening, but Shade remained quiet. The delicious food held his attention until they began talking to him about the upcoming game.
“All right. Listen up,” Hamilton shouted over everyone. “Finish up, get ready, get bags packed. You all know the drill.”
The team finished up and did what their coach said. Shade was toward the back of the line when he heard his name. Turning, he saw Cat. He found it a tad strange because even though PR sometimes traveled with the team, the newbies never did.
“Hi, Cat.”
“Happy birthday.”
He did catch the sultry tone. “Thanks.”
“Any big plans before your birthday?”
His eyes glanced down as she stuck her chest out. He didn’t mean for them to, but they did.
“Captain.” Edgar slapped his shoulder. “You can’t be late.” He guided Shade away from Cat and toward the elevator.
Once they were out of her earshot, in a low tone Edgar said, “Stay away from her.”
“Why?”
“Do you know why she’s here?”
“No.”
“She was sleeping with several Tigers’ players. Kian is giving her a second chance but on a probationary period. One screw up and she’s gone.”
Shade furrowed his brow. “Why wasn’t she fired?”
Edgar shrugged. “No clue. Just stay away from her. She has the look.”
“Look?”
“Don’t act like you’ve not seen her flirting with you,” Edgar called him out.
“Okay. Okay.” He nodded. He knew she was but was doing his best to ignore it.
“You don’t want her, do you?” he questioned.
�
�I want Jenessa and only her,” he firmly stated.
“Then keep it professional and stay in public spots. We don’t want any rumors to start.”
The elevator came, and they headed up to their rooms. Shade changed into his suit and packed his bag. He scanned the room ensuring he hadn’t forgotten any of his items. Jarvis did the same and before long, it was time to get on the bus.
The guys were in game mode. They all remained quiet with their earbuds in or had their eyes closed or were staring straight ahead.
When they made it to the arena, everyone got off the bus and went into the locker room. They changed out of their suits and into their workout outfits. This was the time when they split off and did their own routine. Shade didn’t have the same superstitious behavior as many of the others. He just did his thing. He would play two-touch ball with a circle of guys and then worked the bike for a little bit.
He did the same tonight.
After he felt warmed up, he went back into the locker room. For one final time, he checked his phone. Besides Mikayla, Greer, and a few other hockey players, no one else wished him a happy birthday. Especially the one person he wanted to.
Pushing everything out of his mind and thinking only of the game ahead of him, Shade changed into his pads and uniform. A few chatted around him, but he tried his best to keep his thoughts clear.
Hamilton strolled in and began giving them a slight rundown of the night’s game plan before releasing them to warm up on the ice. Shade left the room last since he was the captain. That was a Bears’ tradition that started many, many years ago.
On the ice, Shade was free. Nothing matters to him but winning. Stretching his muscles, he watched around him. Everyone had on their game face. There were a few laughing and joking around. Getting up, he skated, did some stick handling skills, and shot the puck toward the net. On the other side of the glass stood numerous fans with signs, all trying to gain the players’ attention. Shade noticed several signs wishing him a happy birthday. Everyone knew he had been born and raised in Buffalo. When he was drafted, many local news channels gave him the media name of ‘hometown boy’ and told his tragic story. It stuck to him to that day. A few of the signs said the same.
After tossing a few pucks into the stands, he left the ice and headed back to the locker room. Soon the rest of the team came in and Hamilton gave them the game plan, again, and sent them back out to the ice. At the back of the line, Shade closed his eyes and listened to the music and crowd. Home crowds really let loose for their team.
On the ice, he skated around the net and then lined up for the national anthems. Since they played both, Shade kept his eyes closed, taking deep breaths and trying to focus on the game in front of him. As the signer completed the anthem, the crowd went wild and the Bears lined up for the puck to drop. Shade skated back to his defensive stand. He watched the refs hand, not blinking until the puck hit the ice and Finlay Mackey snagged it and passed it to his right. Then they were off. For the first period, the Bears fought hard, but Buffalo wanted it more. Scoring on Liam.
Twice.
When the team went back to the locker room, Shade told Liam to shake it off. He didn’t want Liam to become discouraged.
“This fucking sucks,” he growled, dropping into his stall.
Shade slapped his padded shoulder. “There’s still a lot of game left. Let it go and get ready for the next period.”
Liam looked up at him. “You’re right. You’re right.”
“You good?”
Liam nodded, and Shade went to his stall. Hamilton came in several minutes later with an updated game plan. Everyone put all their attention on Hamilton. When he finished, the team, especially Shade, were fired up and ready to be back on the ice.
As intermission finished and the Bears came out of the tunnel the crowd was deafening for the Buffalo squad coming out. Shade shut out the noise. Determination pulsed through him. His body was tight, ready to score.
And that was what he did.
And again…
And again…
Defensive players didn’t normally get hat tricks. Shade only had two in his entire career. Tonight would be his third. He barely remembered scoring but celebrated as if he did.
When the final buzzer sounded, the entire team celebrated. Helmet bumps, shoulder slaps, and sticks slapped on his leg pads came from every teammate. Once in the locker room, the coaching staff gave their congratulations. Shade barely remembered everything happening around him before they were loading up onto the bus and heading to the airport.
Once settled into his seat, reality overtook him. The plane was heading back to Manchester, but no one would be waiting for him at the airport. No families would be there because they would be landing so late, but Jenessa used to stay awake for him. Especially, after a big win or a big game for him.
Sadness washed over him as he stared out the window. He had felt alone for the past three years, but at that very moment, he never felt more alone. Not when his mother left. Not when he bounced from foster home to foster home. Just the moment when he stared out into the darkness of the sky, seeing the spattering of lights thousands of feet below him.
He was alone.
Chapter Ten
Jenessa
Putting the picture frames into the box, Jenessa thought she’d be more emotional. This job had consumed her for the past three years. It had been her first true job after law school. She planned to be a partner someday.
But today, she quit.
Two days ago, Jenessa’s eyes were glued to the TV as she watched Shade score a hat trick on his birthday. The pure joy on his face made her feel crushed and happy. He did better without her. She had wanted him to be happy again, but it hurt at the same time.
Nonetheless, seeing him triggered something deep inside her. A feeling she had hidden and never addressed. Especially in the last three years.
“Is there anything I can help you with?” Tiffany asked softly as she stepped into the office.
“No.” Jenessa gave her a genuine smile. “I’m all done.”
“I hate you’re leaving,” she confessed.
“It’s time.” She nodded, double-checking the drawers of her desk.
“I understand.”
Jenessa stopped and looked up. There were tears in Tiffany’s eyes. “You’ll be fine and if you ever need a reference…” There wasn’t a need to finish the sentence. She knew what she meant to Jenessa.
“Thank you.”
Lifting the box, she gave her now previous assistant another smile and left.
Walking into the quiet house she set down the box and her purse. Looking around she wondered what to do next. She had no clue. Sitting on the sectional in the den, her mind raced. She was unemployed. She had no prospects or job offers.
Nothing.
Dropping her head into her hands, she tried not to let the panic overtake her. She thought back to the reason why she came up with this crazy notion. When she shut off the TV after Shade’s outstanding game, she cried.
The tears were from years of pain and frustration and from being a failure. Everything from the last three years of hiding it all away finally bubbled over. By the time the tears stopped, she was curled up in fetal position on the floor. She didn’t even know how she ended up there. But she saw things clearer.
Hiding in her office only brought her heartache. Jenessa remembered the days where she laughed, joked, smiled. Days laying in bed with Shade making love, talking about everything and nothing. Just being happy.
She needed to find herself again.
“Nes!” Mikayla’s voice carried through the house.
“Here,” she called, wiping her face of the few escaped tears on her cheeks.
“What the hell?” she exclaimed entering the room, holding up her cell phone.
“What?” Jenessa confusingly stared at the blank screen.
“You quit? You quit your job?” The disbelief and bewilderment clearly covered her face and was heard in her
voice.
“I did,” she confirmed.
Waking up this morning she knew today would be the day to quit. Her first thought was to text Shade and tell him, but she knew she couldn’t. They hadn’t spoken in several weeks. So, she told Mikayla.
“Would you care to explain to me why? And before you do, let me say how happy I am that you did.” Mikayla sat next to her.
“I need…something.” Jenessa couldn’t find the right wording to express herself.
“Something?”
Taking a deep breath, she felt the heaviness on her chest. As if a brick house landed on it. Mikayla took her hand, giving it a tender squeeze.
“I don’t know who I am without my work. I’ve been hiding behind it for the longest time. I’ve forgotten who I am. But since I left the office, I have no clue what to do next.” Some of the weight came off her chest as she spoke.
“You’re Jenessa Wooten. Wife of Shade and sister to the most incredible person in the world. Me. And I’m an outstanding person.”
Jenessa rested her head on Mikayla’s shoulder and giggled. “You’re a nut.” She didn’t respond to the part of being Shade’s wife.
“I am, but you’re stuck with me,” she replied.
She felt they were growing close again. Many times she held onto Mikayla’s strength. Even though she was strong, Mikayla sat at a different level.
“It’s okay to try to find yourself again.”
Jenessa rose up. “I know, but I feel lost.”
“Which means you’ll find your way soon.”
Letting the words sink in, she wondered if they would come true. Things didn’t seem to be looking up for her. No job. No husband. Thinking back when Shade was on road games, she had no problem being alone. In fact, she enjoyed it at times. She and Mikayla would hang out and do things together. Shopping. Dinners. Road trips. Girls’ weekends. Then an idea popped in her head.
“Kay, let’s go to Vegas,” Jenessa blurted out.
“Excuse me?” Mikayla’s eyes went wide.
“Right now. Today, let’s get on a plane and spend a few days there.” She spoke fast and couldn’t be sure if her words made sense.
