by Mary Smith
“Huh?” Now a furrowed brow appeared. “You just want to hop on a plane and go to Las Vegas?”
“Yes. Let’s go crazy. Be wild. Let loose. Go shopping. Get drunk. Just…go.” The excitement overtook her with all the ideas spinning in her head.
“Hold on.” Mikayla waved her hands around. “Who are you? And what did you do with my sister?”
“I’m serious.” Jenessa had a firm tone to get her point across. “I need this.”
Studying her face, she didn’t say anything. Instead, she pulled out her phone and tapped the screen numerous times.
“There’s a nonstop leaving in five hours from Boston. Hurry up and pack,” Mikayla informed her.
Jenessa squealed and hugged Mikayla before racing up the stairs. Tossing clothes into a small luggage case, Mikayla yelled she was going to pack and would be back within the hour. Grabbing her bathroom items her cheeks hurt from smiling.
This would be great.
They managed to get to Boston in plenty of time to board the plane. Albeit, security had been backed up. The flight had been uneventful. They spent their time trying to find a hotel. Jenessa left it up to Mikayla since her hidden talent was finding outstanding deals.
Once the plane landed in Nevada, they grabbed a cab to the hotel. Just as Jenessa thought, Mikayla found an outstanding deal right on the strip. They checked in and went up to the room.
“I say we get changed and grab some dinner. I’m starving,” Jenessa suggested as she opened her bag and pulled out some items.
“Me too,” she agreed, unzipping her case.
Jenessa went into the bathroom to freshen up. They weren’t going anywhere fancy, just casual fun. She figured her emotions would be everywhere, but a small sense of calm floated around her. The first time in…well, she didn’t know how long.
Opening the door, she heard Mikayla talking to someone on her phone.
“I mean, she just up and quit her job. I don’t know what is going on, but I’m in Vegas, and she needs me.”
She paused.
“I don’t know how long we’ll be here, and I don’t care. I won’t let her do this alone.”
Jenessa hung her head. Her sister had to be the toughest person in the world yet had the biggest heart. Holding the door, the calm left and was replaced with sadness. Like Shade, Mikayla had received the same treatment from Jenessa.
“I love you too, Jarvis. Let Shade know she’s fine. I know he’s worrying.”
Those words made her breath catch. Shade worried about her. Why? Why did he still even care?
“Just tell him,” Mikayla repeated. “I love you.”
The call must have ended because she heard Mikayla moving around and she wasn’t talking anymore. Jenessa walked out as if she hadn’t been eavesdropping.
“You look great,” Mikayla commented.
“Bathroom’s all yours.” She glanced at the full-length mirror near the closet. A pair of dark skinny jeans hugged her waist. She slipped into a long sleeve, light cotton deep purple shirt. She had a matching pair of ballet flats. Her hair sat high in a messy bun on top of her head. Even though she normally wore makeup, tonight she just had on a little bit of mascara and gloss.
Sitting on the bed, she picked up her cell phone and debated calling Shade. Staring at the screen, her finger almost touched the green phone icon but stopped, she then tossed the phone onto the bed. This weekend was about her. She needed to clear her head and not think about Shade, their marriage, being jobless, and their baby.
When Mikayla came out, she was wearing a pair of straight jeans and a red oversized off the shoulder sweater. Her flawless makeup made her beauty stand out even more. Without saying anything she came over to Jenessa and hugged her.
“What’s this for?”
“Because you’re the best big sister.” Mikayla released her.
Tears welled up in Jenessa’s eyes. “No, I’m not.”
Kneeling in front of her, she said, “Yes, you are. You just need to come to terms that we’re here for you, and you can’t do it all alone.”
Saying nothing, Jenessa avoided eye contact. She did that when she wanted to pretend the truth wasn’t staring at her.
“Come on.” Mikayla stood. “I found this great bar and grill on Yelp. I say we load up on greasy bar food and drink our weight in some craft beer.”
As she finished, Jenessa’s stomach growled on cue.
“I’m going to say it’s a yes.”
The Uber dropped them off and they strolled into the packed bar. Jenessa expected it to be rundown and grimy. However, this one had an upper class feel to it. More upscale than the ones she’d visited.
The hostess, another content Jenessa had been surprised to see, escorted them to a booth. The hostess handed them both a menu with a hard wooden backing and pointed to the drink menus at the end of the table.
“I feel as if I’m very underdressed.” Jenessa glanced around at the other patrons.
“Agreed. I thought the words ‘bar and grill’ would mean casual,” Mikayla commented, opening the menu. “This isn’t your typical bar food.”
Jenessa flipped her menu open and saw exactly what she meant. These weren’t greasy appetizers, burgers, and the normal deep-fried finger food. These items came out of a five-star restaurant.
“Welcome, ladies. What can I start you off with?” The waitress stepped up to their table.
“Are you feeling adventurous?” Mikayla questioned Jenessa, shutting the menu.
She wondered where she was going with the question but decided to hell with it. “Yes, we’re in Vegas. Where else can we be crazy?”
“Great.” She beamed. “Neither of us are allergic to anything and want to try the best you have. You pick it.” She instructed the waitress.
“How many courses?” she asked with her pen at the ready.
“Three,” Mikayla answered.
“Beer, well drinks, or something different?”
“Beer.”
“Price range?”
“None.”
“I’ll be back shortly.” The waitress smiled and walked away.
“I don’t think I’ve ever let the wait staff pick my food,” Jenessa admitted.
“Why not? They know what’s good, and it’s fun not having to decide,” Mikayla answered.
“You know when Shade goes through a drive-thru, he just says ‘give me a number one.’ without even knowing what it is.” Jenessa laughed at the memory of him doing it.
“He’s weird,” Mikayla joined in.
“He would say the number one is the bestseller, so it had to be good.” She remembered having the conversation with him time and time again, never understanding the point of it.
“So, we’re here, what else do you want to do?” Mikayla inquired.
Jenessa got the feeling she wanted to change the topic. “I figured we get some shopping in. Maybe a spa day?”
“Sounds good to me. I need to update my wardrobe a bit.”
“Being with Mr. Model causes you to stay away from all the black outfits,” she teased.
“Not all of it. He enjoys my black crotchless lingerie.” Mikayla winked.
“Really? You’re going to tell me about your sex life.” Jenessa rolled her eyes.
“Why not? I’m sure you’re dying to know.”
Jenessa shook her head. “No, I’m not.”
“Bet I could teach you some new tricks,” she quipped.
Jenessa was certain she could. It had been three years since she and Shade had any form of intimacy.
“All right, ladies.” The waitress returned. “I’ve brought you our vegan potato skins. These are organic potatoes with soy cheese and soy bacon.”
She set the plate in the middle of the table. They weren’t the normal boat size portion one would get from a normal bar and grill. These were small petite potatoes with a teeny amount of cheese and a bacon bit size of bacon on top.
“The beer is a berry-infused light beer. The sweetness cuts
the saltiness of the appetizer.” She placed the beer on the table. “Enjoy,” she said before strolling away.
Jenessa and Mikayla eyed the beer. One would expect it to be in a larger beer glass but not this place. The glass couldn’t hold more than six ounces. Tops.
“Maybe we should have chosen the eight dollar buffet in the hotel restaurant.” Mikayla picked up her glass, inspecting it as if more would magically appear.
“They’re just giving out the recommended portions.” Jenessa came up with an excuse.
“Well, this New Englander needs the big girl portions.”
Jenessa began laughing. Mikayla always had a way with words.
“Let’s try it out. Maybe they’re small because the next course will be bigger.” She wiped the laughter tears from her eyes.
“Hope so,” Mikayla muttered before sipping the beer. “Now, this is delicious.”
They munched on the bite-size potatoes, which weren’t bad, as Mikayla discussed her job because Jenessa had asked about it. Pride filled her as Mikayla told her about the new designs she’d been working on. Jenessa didn’t have a talent. Unless you counted arguing. She had that trait mastered.
The waitress brought their next course and Mikayla almost cheered seeing larger portions.
“Who would like the Philly chicken and who would enjoy the California sunrise burger?”
Glancing at each other, they questioned which one they would want and what was in them.
“The California sunrise burger is a grass-fed burger with organic cheese. On top is a range-free egg and an avocado,” the waitress explained.
“I’ll take it,” Mikayla said.
The waitress handed out the plates and told us there was a side of sweet potato fries with it.
“It looks good,” Jenessa commented, studying her plate.
“I’ve also given you lovely ladies a crisp light beer with a hint of citrus to keep your palette fresh.” She put the drinks down in front of them.
When she left, Jenessa quickly cut the sandwich. A Philly generally came on a sub but this sat on large sourdough bread. They ate quietly for several minutes. Jenessa didn’t even think of all the calories and carbs she currently was devouring. It tasted too good to care about it.
“Oh, man, this is the best.” Mikayla moaned in between bites.
“It is,” she agreed, taking another large bite.
“This beer is great too.”
Again, Jenessa nodded. “She did an outstanding job.”
“See, I told you. Sometimes it’s fun to be adventurous every once and a while.” Mikayla shot her a fun glare.
“Fine. You’re right,” she conceded.
“I know.” She gave her a sweet wink before popping a fry into her mouth. “So, when are we going to talk about you?”
Jenessa stopped midbite. “Do you really want to hear the nothings in my head?” She hoped she would ask anything else, but she knew her better than that.
“Yes,” she spoke clearly and firmly.
Taking a bite, it bought her several seconds to figure out what to say, or where to begin.
“You’re not alone, Nes,” Mikayla spoke softly. “Even when you’re a royal bitch, I’ll always be here for you.”
She set down the sandwich and wiped her hands with a thick linen napkin. Memories of them talking for hours about everything and nothing came flooding back.
“We used to be close,” Jenessa said without really thinking about it.
“We’re still close and always will be. You’re the one to push everyone away and close yourself off to the world,” she told her.
As much as she wanted to argue, she couldn’t because it was the truth. She leaned back in the booth and sipped her beer. Not sure where to start, Jenessa kept her focus around the restaurant.
“Just tell me one thing you’re thinking about. Just one.” Mikayla placed her arms on the table bringing herself closer.
Before she said anything, the waitress returned to check on them.
“Could you bring us four shots of tequila?” Jenessa asked.
“Sure.” The waitress smiled.
“Are we turning things up here, Nes?” Mikayla inquired.
“If we’re going to discuss me, then yes.” She pushed her plate to the side.
“Okay.” She nodded, moving her plate as well, waiting for her to speak.
Jenessa knew, deep down, she had to release all the emotions hidden far away. Telling Mikayla would be best. Yes, she’d give her opinion, but in the end, she wouldn’t be judging her too harshly. No matter how much they argued, Mikayla was right. They would be sisters for life.
The waitress returned with a small tray. Placing it in the middle of the table it had four large shot glasses, several limes in a small bowl, and packets of salt. They handed over their plates of half-eaten food to give themselves more room.
Mikayla and Jenessa prepped their first shot. Clinking their glasses together, they knocked back the clear alcohol.
“I’m failing.” Jenessa slightly slammed the shot glass down.
“At what?”
“Everything.” She placed the lime into her mouth, sucking out the bitter juice.
“Name one thing?”
Discarding the lime, she let the alcohol warm her blood before answering. “For one, my marriage.”
“Your marriage hasn’t failed. You’re too stubborn to pick up the phone and talk to Shade,” Mikayla informed her.
She didn’t agree, even though she was right. Again.
“If you two would sit down and talk, then I know you both can work this all out,” she continued.
“All of it might be true, but he’s doing much better without me. Why would I ruin it?” Jenessa felt the tears bubbling up.
“You’re a fool.” Mikayla shook her head in frustration.
“Look at it from my point of view. He’s smiling, racking up points and hell they even made him captain. Would any of it happened if he stayed with me?” She hoped Mikayla understood her words.
“Nes, you’re seeing it so wrong. He may have smiled when he scored his hat trick, but it’s not a real one. It’s for show. He’s barely grinned since leaving you. The reason the points are racking up is because he works out and goes to practice. Nothing else. He misses you. He’s trying to give you space, and until you call him, he’s not going to contact you.”
Jenessa turned away from her hard glare. She had nothing to say because she didn’t want to imagine Shade sitting and waiting by the phone. Picking up the other shot glass, she swallowed down the drink. This time she didn’t use the salt or lime to ensure the burn would last. She hoped it would take away some of her pain.
It did not.
“Why did you really quit your job?” Mikayla moved away from the Shade topic.
“Because I had to.” She paused trying to figure out what she would say next. “I’ve been using work as a shield. It kept me from dealing with everything around me. Especially the hurt.” Her eyes blurred from the tears creeping up.
Mikayla reached over and took her hand, holding onto it tightly.
“Are we doing dessert?” The waitress appeared at their table.
“Yes,” Jenessa answered. “And more tequila.”
“And a couple of glasses of water,” Mikayla added.
As the waitress left, Jenessa remained quiet, unsure of what else there was to say or how her sister felt.
“Hiding in my office, I kept the pain away. Typing motions allowed me to forget the loss. Taking more cases and increasing my workload helped me ignore Shade.” Now the tears fell, gently sliding down her cheeks.
The waitress set another small tray of tequila and two large slices of double chocolate cake. “I brought some napkins as well,” she said softly before leaving them alone.
“I guess I look bad,” Jenessa mumbled picking up a napkin and dabbing the wetness away.
“You’re beautiful,” Mikayla spoke with a crack in her voice.
“I’m a
lmost thirty.”
“And?”
“I thought everything would be different,” she whispered.
“Jenessa, I can’t imagine the pain you were or are going through. I lost my nephew, but you lost your son. However, you forget Shade lost his son too. He remained strong for you, but he needed you too. He needed to break down and have someone to lean on as well. Did you not realize how bad he was feeling? How much he needed you too?”
The tears rolled faster. “Shade didn’t—”
“Yes.” Mikayla cut her off. “I listened to the strongest man I’ve ever known cry in a bathroom all the time for three years. He didn’t think I heard him, but I did. He never shed a tear in front of you because he wanted to be strong for you.”
Jenessa felt her brow furrow deeply. “What are you talking about? Shade has never cried.”
“What part is tripping you up? The part where Shade needed his wife to lean on? Or the part where he’s a father who lost his son?”
Even through her sister’s sarcastic tone, Jenessa’s heart broke. Even more so than before. She pictured Shade sitting on their bathroom floor crying alone.
Every time she would break down, he would be there. Several times, she let him hold her. But it didn’t take long before she shut down the tears and pushed him—and everyone—away.
“I guess I really am a royal bitch.” She picked up another napkin and wiped away more of the tears.
“You can fix this. You can get back to your life. The one you and Shade were always meant to have.” Mikayla’s firm tone hit her hard.
Without saying anything, Jenessa grabbed the single shot Mikayla hadn’t taken and knocked it back. Then another. The burn subsided faster with each shot.
“Drinking isn’t the answer right now.”
She didn’t comment. Even though she wanted to finish the shots she said she was ready to leave. Mikayla called the waitress over and asked for the check. Jenessa slid out of the booth. It took her a second as the tequila rushed through her, then she went outside. She hoped for cooler air, but the desert heat was thick, even in November. She continued to blink hard, trying to make sure no more tears fell.
