Only with You

by Lea Coll

  “That’s fine. I need a shower anyway. Meet you at twelve on our bench?”

  I knew she was referring to the one we’d sat on last night. I wanted to spend more time with her. She was the real deal. “Looking forward to it.”

  She smiled. “Great. See you then.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  HADLEY

  What was I doing? I repeated that to myself as I showered and dressed in jeans and a light sweater. Nothing good could come from continuing to hang out with Cade Morrison. When I was with him, thoughts of him being my client fell away, until it was only us. But as soon as I walked away from the studio, reality came back in the form of a pit in my stomach and tension in my neck.

  I tried to argue with myself. I was just hanging out with a guy who clearly could use a friend. I needed a friend. But I knew that was wrong because I didn’t feel friendly toward him. He surprised me last night when he was so observant about my family. His sensitivity made me want more from him than friendship. Even if he was my client, I wanted more. On a subconscious level I knew he wasn’t capable of more.

  I’d enjoy his company, but that was it. I put on converse sneakers to walk to the harbor since it was such a beautiful warm day. As I walked, I reminded myself he hadn’t asked for more. He hadn’t touched me inappropriately, even if I wanted him to. If I thought his eyes were appreciatively roving my body, it was my imagination. He’d done nothing to encourage me.

  I slowed as I approached the bench. Cade spread his legs wide, arms crossed over his chest, and he’d tilted his head back. Children’s laughter ran out over the water.

  “Are you going to sit down?” Cade asked without opening an eye.

  “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

  “You aren’t. I was waiting for you.” His eyes opened, immediately flashing to mine.

  That statement pierced the wall I’d erected, leaving a hole that wouldn’t be filled. “It seemed like you were thinking deep thoughts.”

  He focused on the water. “I guess I was. I was thinking about how beautiful it is and how lucky I am to be here.”

  A tingle ran down my spine. It felt like he’d revealed something important even though I didn’t know what it was.

  “It is.” I was lucky to be here with this unassuming man—someone who didn’t want anything from me.

  He shifted forward on the bench, his elbows on his knees as he looked up at me. His hair was curled and damp at the ends as if he’d recently showered. His T-shirt stretched taut over his chest and he was dressed casually in jeans and sneakers. My heart fluttered in my chest.

  “Are you hungry?”

  “Uh huh.” The thought that this could be a date circled my brain on a loop. We’d showered and made an effort to look nice for each other. We met at our bench and we were sharing a meal. It couldn’t be more date-like.

  “I can grab some crepes at Sophie’s Crepes if you want to save our seat.” He pointed at the sign behind us.

  “Sure.” I sat on the bench.

  “Do you know what you want, or can I order for you?”

  My mind immediately flashed to I want you, but I looked away, so he didn’t see the thoughts reflected in my eyes. “You can pick something.”

  “Any allergies?”

  “No.”

  “Be right back.” He smiled and winked before turning away.

  Did he have any idea how much younger he looked when he winked? When he smiled, I swore my heart stopped for a second before it started galloping out of control in my chest.

  If this was a date, I needed to tell him nothing could happen.

  I watched a bird stop on the bricks in front of me, pecking at crumbs until a child ran by scaring it. My mind wandered to last night, Cade listening to my issues, offering his opinion. It was like he’d opened up something inside of me, something no wall would cover up. I jumped when the tourist boat’s horn blew, signaling it was leaving.

  Cade chuckled as he sat next to me and dropped a wrapped crepe in my lap. “Did the horn scare you?”

  I turned to face him, my hand still covering my thudding heart. “Yes. I wasn’t expecting it.”

  “You get used to it. The boat comes and goes all day long.”

  Passengers lined the railing of the boat and waved as it pulled away from the dock.

  “It’s a good thing I rented an apartment away from here.”

  “You learn to avoid the crowds and the boat shows. That’s when it’s crazier down here.” He nodded at the wrapped crepe in my lap. “I got you the Caprese. It’s the best.”

  I slowly unwrapped the warm crepe and took a tentative bite savoring the mozzarella, fresh tomato, and basil flavors. “It’s good. Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. I should probably take you somewhere more touristy.”

  “I’ve had crab cakes already. What could be more touristy than eating at the harbor watching the boats?”

  “Ice cream from one of the many ice cream shops while we toured Annapolis on foot.” His tone was light and playful, and I wondered if it was an invitation.

  I pictured it clearly in my mind—strolling arm in arm with him, ice cream in my other hand while he showed me what was special about his town. “That sounds nice.”

  The sun warmed me as we ate in silence for a few minutes.

  Cade cleared his throat. “I wanted to apologize for last night.”

  “There’s no need. You already apologized and you were just being honest.” I was touched. I couldn’t think of a time my father or Layton had ever apologized, much less twice for the same thing. They saw it as a sign of weakness.

  Cade’s brow furrowed. “Still. It wasn’t my place to point out things about your family. I don’t know you or them.”

  “Really? Because it seemed like you did—like you knew what happened. Sometimes it takes an outsider to point out something we can’t see ourselves.”

  Cade’s expression was conflicted. “But I didn’t mean to hurt you or tell you something you weren’t ready to hear.”

  “I moved here to discover who I am outside my family. Facing the harsh reality of Dad’s motives is a part of that.”

  “Who are you?”

  I sighed, frustrated with my lack of progress. “I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure that out.”

  He finished his crepe, picked up his trash, and threw it in a nearby trash can. He returned to sit next to me, his long legs stretched out in front of him, but he sat closer than before.

  A gust of wind blew my hair into my face. I tried to tuck a piece behind my ear, but the wind continued to blow hard, my hands still holding my partially eaten crepe and napkins.

  “Here, let me help you.” I felt Cade shift closer to me, his thigh touching mine from knee to hip, as his hand slid my hair behind my ear.

  His focus was on my hair, so I took in the faint lines in his forehead, his tan skin, and the flecks of yellow in his blue eyes.

  Then his eyes met mine, his fingers shifted from holding my hair to sifting through strands. I wanted to lean into his touch. “Is that better?” His voice was low and intimate.

  I nodded, unable to say a word. There was no space between us. I unconsciously swayed closer, wanting his lips on mine.

  “Mister, can you help me with my kite? It’s stuck on your bench.”

  The voice startled me. I jumped away from Cade. A boy stood in front of us pointing at his kite. The line wrapped the leg of the bench.

  “Of course.” Cade stood and slowly unraveled the string while I took deep breaths to calm myself before he handed the kite to the boy.

  “Thanks, Mister.”

  “You’re welcome.” But Cade stared after the boy, a flash of sadness in his expression.

  The boy ran off to his parents, who stood a few feet away watching.

  Cade’s expression was thoughtful. “I’d love to show you more of the city today, but Nolan is waiting at home to help me with the renovations.”

  My body flushed with excitement tha
t he wanted to spend more time with me.

  “That’s great. I didn’t realize you had plans.” I brushed nonexistent crumbs off my lap before standing to throw out my garbage. I experienced a small twinge of disappointment that we wouldn’t be exploring Annapolis together.

  When I returned from the trash can, Cade stood in the same spot watching me.

  “Well, thanks for lunch.” How could things be so awkward when a minute ago it felt so natural—to be close to him, to be touched by him? My heart ached with the need for that moment back. The idea of something with Cade scared me. Maybe he felt it too and wasn’t ready.

  “You’re welcome. I still need to schedule an appointment with you to go over the contracts,” Cade said.

  It was like he’d dumped cold water on me. When I met him at our bench, I hadn’t thought once about the fact he was my client. It was good that he’d reminded me of the line we couldn’t cross. Even if I desperately wanted to. “You can text me or call the office, whichever’s more convenient.”

  Even though it was the right thing to do, I felt a sense of loss that he’d reset the boundaries between us. We said goodbye before I watched him walk toward the parking lot.

  I had nothing planned for the rest of the day, so I walked around the historic downtown area and wandered into a few shops. I’d have loved to do this with Cade or even Avery, but instead, I was alone—alone with my thoughts about what was happening between us. I’d thought we’d had a moment.

  I took stock of what I knew about him and realized I’d only discovered he had a younger brother, he was renovating his home, and he owned two businesses. There were no pictures in his office or the studio—not even framed photos of his students competing.

  There was no reason for him to be more forthcoming. His past was none of my business, but I couldn’t ignore the pang in my chest. I was vulnerable last night. His observations of my family and our interactions touched me. Yet, I knew he wasn’t capable of opening up to me.

  Cade

  I almost suggested spending the day together. I wanted to show her what I loved about the town—not what the tourists saw when they came here, but Nolan was waiting for me at my house.

  I wanted to make sure I was making the right decision before I took another step with Hadley. Between last night and lunch today, we were standing on a precipice and the next move would change everything.

  I found Nolan inside the house, tearing out carpet in the living room. “What are you doing?”

  “Did you know there’s hardwood under here?” he asked, without looking up from his task.

  “Yeah.” I vaguely remember the realtor advising me of that when I toured the home.

  “They’re beautiful. Shouldn’t need much to refinish these.” He held the end of the carpet up to show me the hardwood underneath.

  “You’re right.” But my mind wasn’t on the renovations.

  “Did class run late?”

  “I went to lunch with Hadley after class.” I wanted to talk to someone about this and make sure I was doing the right thing.

  “Did something happen?”

  “Is it right to pursue something with her if I don’t know if I can fully move on from Caroline?”

  Nolan thought about his answer for a few seconds before speaking. “If it feels right, then I think you can. Just be honest with her.”

  He made it sound so easy.

  “You like her?” He dropped the carpet and straightened.

  “I do.”

  “But you feel guilty for liking her?” He raised his brow.

  “A little. I’m worried we’ll get in too deep and I’ll realize I can’t love someone else like I loved Caroline.”

  “I would think any love you felt for someone new would be different. You’d be opening up your heart to her, not replacing Caroline.” His tone was thoughtful and considerate.

  I hadn’t thought about it like that.”

  “I think Hadley’s good for you. She might be a rebound. Not everything has to lead to marriage.”

  “That’s true, but do you think that’s fair? That feels like I’m using her to get over Caroline.”

  “That’s not what it would be. It would be spending time with someone good for you. Be honest. Tell her about Caroline and lay it out for her. Let her decide if she wants to pursue something with you after she knows all the facts. How do you know if she’s looking for anything serious?”

  “I don’t know. She recently turned down a marriage proposal. She moved here to get away from everything.” I’d never betray Hadley’s confidence. It wasn’t her ex’s proposal that left her vulnerable. It was her family who had her twisted in knots.

  “She has baggage too. Be there for each other. As long as it feels good—do it.”

  Could I enjoy myself and damn the consequences?

  “That’s because it’s easier to be happy than you think. Caroline would want you to be happy.”

  She’d tried, but I always put her off. I think I was in denial until the very end. I hoped she’d get better—a new clinical trial would form or a new treatment, but it didn’t. Caroline accepted her fate well before I did. Nolan’s suggestion that Caroline would want me to be happy took root and I knew what I needed to do.

  Chapter Fifteen

  HADLEY

  On Sunday afternoon, I poured myself some tea and took it out on the balcony. I’d spent the rest of the Saturday shopping for decorations for my apartment. I wanted to make it a home. I chose a few things which were quintessential Maryland, a pottery bowl from a shop on state circle, a metal crab to hang on the wall in the bathroom, and fresh-cut flowers from a street vendor by the courthouse.

  When I first moved, I’d unpacked the necessities, but I hadn’t bought anything for the walls or accents for the windows and furniture. We’d picked up more clients this week and I felt more comfortable spending money.

  There was nothing like retail therapy to get over a guy—one who was out of my reach. I leaned back in the chair and watched a couple wander the path by the water. Would I ever have something like that? My doorbell rang. I was surprised someone was at the door. My heart sped up, thinking it could be Cade since he was the only one who’d been here.

  I placed my tea on the end table. I walked through the apartment to answer the door not wanting whoever was at the door to know the porch extended from the front door to my bedroom. It wasn’t entirely safe for a single-woman living alone but I’d fallen in love the wrap-around porch when I saw the pictures online.

  I pulled open the door, my heart lifting thinking it was Cade. Instead, Layton stood there in a suit and tie, his hair slicked back with gel, and a town car parked on the curb.

  “Layton? What are you doing here?” I kept my hand on the doorknob, not stepping back to let him inside.

  “We need to talk. You’ve been ignoring my messages.”

  “I think I was clear when I said no to your proposal and in our messages since. I don’t want to date you much less marry you.” I allowed the frustration and anger to seep into my words.

  He stepped forward as if to enter my apartment.

  I shook my head. “That’s not a good idea.”

  “You want to talk about this on your porch where anyone could hear?”

  He was appealing to the manners drilled into my head since birth. Sometimes, protecting yourself was more important than appearances or reputation. “Anything you have to say to me, you can say out here.”

  His lips tipped down in a sneer.

  I stepped forward and pulled the door shut behind me. I raised my brow. “If you want to talk to me, this is your opportunity.”

  “Fine. I don’t think you understand the gravity of the situation with your dad’s business. If my dad doesn’t invest, then your dad has to declare bankruptcy.”

  “So, invest.” I tried to appear nonchalant even though my heart was beating fast and my palms were slick with nerves.

  He laughed and shook his head. “After everything your fat
her did for you, this is how you repay him? You walk away when he needs you.”

  “If it were a true emergency, it would be different. It’s my dad’s business. It has nothing to do with me.”

  “It has everything to do with you. You’re the key to fixing this.”

  I opened my mouth to disagree.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Cade’s voice came from behind Layton.

  Relief flooded my brain. I’d somehow missed the tread of boots on the steps. When he reached the porch, his eyes darted from me to Layton.

  “You’re not interrupting anything. Layton was just leaving.”

  Cade shot me a disbelieving look before offering his hand to Layton. “I’m Cade Morrison and you are—”

  “You’re fucking someone else?” Layton’s accusing eyes swung to mine as he ignored Cade’s hand.

  Rage filled me. “Don’t talk to me like that. You have no right to come here and accuse me of anything. You proposed. I turned you down.”

  Cade’s concerned eyes rested on mine as if waiting for a signal to step in.

  “You can’t be serious?” Layton asked.

  I crossed my arms over my chest. I didn’t bother correcting his assumption. If he thought I was with Cade, maybe he’d back off.

  “You need to come back and smooth things over. Everyone’s been talking about you walking away from my proposal.”

  “That seems like your problem, not mine. When you ask someone to marry them, you take the risk they’ll say no. I’m not a part of your world anymore. You’re manipulative, you’re entitled, and you don’t know the meaning of the word no. I can’t control who my dad is, but I decide who I marry. I dictate my future and I don’t want you.”

  Layton edged closer and lowered his voice to shut Cade out of the conversation. “You’re willing to risk the future of Kids Speak?”

  I faltered at that. I didn’t want to risk my nonprofit. “You don’t care about Kids Speak. You’re only out for yourself. You’ve proven that over and over again.”