RAISED: The Mountain Man’s Babies

by Love, Frankie

  “Levi, it’s not hooking up. And Virginia and I are just friends.”

  “Friends?” Virginia and Levi say at the exact same time.

  “Okay.” I lift my hands in defense. “Not friends, but there is no definition of what we are. That’s why we haven’t said anything.”

  Levi smirks. “Well, you better say something before someone else catches you.”

  I look at Virginia, who shrugs, a small smile playing on her lips.

  “And for the record,” Levi adds. “The biggest person you should worry about is Faith, everyone else is on your team.”

  I run a hand over my beard. “Thanks, son. That means a lot.”

  Levi walks out of the kitchen. Two kids down, four to go. I’m ready to tell everyone — would have a few days ago, but Virginia is the one holding back.

  When I turn back to Virginia, I’m wearing a grin. She, though, has her eyes down.

  “What is it?” I ask.

  She methodically spreads a layer of butter over the dough. Then she adds brown sugar, then cinnamon. All the while, not meeting my gaze.

  “What is it?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Well, what did you want to talk about?”

  Just then Lily, Willa, and Clover all come in through the back door. They are shrieking with laughter and Cash is running in behind them, snowballs in hand.

  “No, thank you,” Virginia says, uncharacteristically short. “No snow in the house, sir!”

  Cash laughs and apologizes, and Willa runs back outside, wrestling her little brother to the ground.

  “Those two are crazy,” Lily says, scooting beside Virginia in the kitchen. “Can we help?”

  “When you get out of those snow boots, sure,” she says. “And then wash up and come help me get these cinnamon rolls in the pan, okay?”

  Faith and Clover nod obediently, and I clear my throat. “Can we talk later?”

  “Sure,” she says. But she doesn’t look at me, she’s focused on the work in front of her.

  * * *

  Later, when the kids are all back outside, playing in the snow, I go looking for Virginia. Her bedroom door is slightly ajar, and I pause before going inside it. She’s on the phone, her back to me.

  “I don’t know if I can do this, Laila,” she is saying. “It’s all too much.” There is silence for a moment, then she sighs. “I don’t know what to do. It’s overwhelming, and Tanner… he’s going to be shocked, but I have to tell him before Christmas. Waiting is just going to make it worse.”

  I swallow, fear rising in my chest. Virginia wants to end things with me. Her past combined with my past might just be too much. It’s an awful lot of baggage for anyone to bear.

  But hell, I thought we were seeing eye to eye. I’m ready to make things official with Virginia, and she is ready to walk away.

  “Okay,” she says. “Call me when you get back in town. I don’t want to go through this alone.”

  Moving away from the door, I decide she will come find me when she is ready.

  But damn, it kills me. I thought she was my Christmas miracle. Turns out I might be needing a new place to stay for the holiday.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Virginia

  After talking to Laila this morning, I know I need to confirm what I already know to be true. I’ve known something is off for the last few days — but now there is no denying it. My stomach turns and a wave of nausea washes over me.

  My cycle is late. And I know my body. Every month it’s like clock work … which makes me wonder just what kind of magic happens on this mountain? I’m never so reckless … yet the moment Tanner pulled me to him, caution went out the window. I didn’t think about protection, I only thought about his warm skin and soft words and his desire to be with me.

  My desire to be with him.

  My nerves are a jumbled mess. If I’m carrying his child then our lives will be forever connected.

  Does he want that? I was about to tell him all about it earlier today — but now I’m glad I haven’t. I want to be absolutely sure first.The last thing a man like Tanner needs is unnecessary weight. His shoulders are already so weighed down.

  The kids are back in the kitchen with Tanner when I walk in, they are discussing the igloo they plan on building this afternoon with their father. They’ve pulled out the makings for sandwiches for lunch, and I’m once again grateful for their self-sufficiency. Tears prick my eyes when I think about their last year without a mother, how they’ve all had too grow up more quickly then they should have.

  “You okay?” Tanner asks as I reach for my coat and purse on the hook by the back door.

  “Oh,” I say blinking back tears. “I’m fine, just a little head cold. I’m going to the pharmacy to get some medicine.”

  Tanner frowns, resting hand on my arm. “You want company?”

  I look over at the kids around the table. “The kids have big plans for you this afternoon.”

  He nods, the frown still there. “I suppose that’s true. You sure you’re alright though?”

  I nod, pulling even further back, emotionally reverting to my years in the Badlands. Years where I would bury my true feelings, my fear and my anxiety. I was numb because the truth was too sad to accept. Now, the truth scares me. I might be a single mother.

  I drive to the pharmacy in Eagle Crest and buy five early detection pregnancy tests. Afterwards, I stop at Rosie’s for a slice of pie and I see Harper and Jax in a corner booth. They wave me over and ask how I’m doing.

  There is something about this couple that has me in awe. They are perpetually smiling, holding hands, and making life look easy despite their tribe of children.

  “How were you two able to sneak away?” I ask, sitting down next to Harper.

  Jaxon grins, lifting his black coffee. “We needed to get some Christmas shopping finished. The kids are with Rosie and Buck today.”

  “Then who is working here?” I ask, looking around.

  “They hired a new girl. Violet. She’s here a lot. Total sweetheart,” Harper tells me.

  Just then a waitress comes over and asks if I’d like anything. She is cute as apple pie, and I can already tell Harper’s assessment is right. Her voice is sugary sweet, her eyes bright with innocence and all I can think, as I order a piece of coconut cream pie, is that I am so not her.

  I’m bruised at best, there is no purity in my eyes. Hard edges and sad stories. It makes me wonder if I’m the right person for a man like Tanner who has already been so heartbroken.

  “What is it?” Harper asks, sensing my emotion.

  I shake my head, scared to say it out loud. But then I look at the kind couple before me. Jaxon and Harper have seen their share of heartache too … yet they are as strong as ever. They’ve been married longer than anyone else out here, and through thick and thin, they’ve made it work. More than work — their love could move mountains.

  “I think … I think I’m pregnant.”

  Harper’s hand reaches out to mine. “Oh, sweetie.”

  “I’m just …” I wipe my eyes. “I’m just scared that I might …that Tanner …”

  “What has you so worried?” Jaxon asks, his voice steady like a tree. Firmly rooted in place. Unwavering.

  “I’m scared that Tanner won’t want to take this on … this commitment.”

  Jaxon and Harper look at one another, a silent conversation brewing. But they don’t make me wait long.

  “Virginia,” Jaxon says. “This isn’t what you planned, but the best things in life come as a surprise. And when it comes to love, assume the best, always. Let Tanner tell you how he feels — don’t decide for him.”

  I press my fingertips to my mouth, his advice sound and true.

  “What else?” Harper asks. “What else are you feeling?”

  I shake my head, my tears betraying me. In the Badlands I could close up … but I’m not there anymore. I’m here, on a mountain that is safe, that welcomes me. A mountain that feels like home. I don�
�t need to hide. Here, I’m with family.

  Taking a shaky breath, I tell them the truth. “I’m scared I’m too much of a mess to be a mom.” I bite down on my bottom lip.

  Harper smiles softly, tears in her eyes too. “No one — and I mean no one— is ready for the task of motherhood.”

  “But everyone one who lives here,” I say, “they seem to make it work so effortlessly.”

  Harper laughs gently. “You can look around this mountain and see plenty of Instagram worthy moments, sure. The happy children and clean faces and tidy kitchens and folded laundry. But it’s not the whole story, Virginia. The struggle is real, for all of us. Just go to someone’s house and ask how they handle it all. They’ll tell you stories. So many stories.”

  Jaxon nods. “Stories of sleepless nights and petty fights, and where boxed wine saved the day.”

  “And where trashy reality television brought couples together, one episode at a time,” Harper adds with a smile. “Oh, and stories where bedtime — with each child tucked into their own bed — didn’t mean a chance for mom and dad to sneak to their bedroom for a sexy rendezvous … instead it meant an early bedtime for the parents to catch up on their sleep deprivation.”

  I wipe my tears. “Truly?”

  Harper nods. “Life is hard, no matter how many miracles are in our midst. But all that hard stuff? It makes the good times that much more beautiful; holy even. Sacred. Ours.”

  “And you’ll be a good mother, Virginia,” Jaxon says. “Sure, this is all new territory — but you’re not in it alone. And if Tanner doesn’t step up to the plate — you have a whole lot of men on this mountain who will make sure you’re safe.”

  I hug them goodbye, their words a balm to my heart. If the pregnancy tests are positive … I’ll be okay. Scared sure — but I won’t alone.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Virginia

  The kids take my attention for the rest of the day, and I’m grateful. I don’t want to talk to Tanner with the children around, obviously, and it seems like he has been avoiding me all night. I try to get him alone after dinner, but it’s almost as if he doesn’t want to be alone with me.

  Which is fine because I’m exhausted, and my mind is swimming with scenarios.

  I’m pregnant.

  I’m pregnant with Tanner’s baby. Each of the five tests confirmed it. But the idea of telling him is scary. What if he doesn’t want this child, want me?

  Later, I crawl into bed and I try to settle my mind. Tanner is such a good dad, I can’t imagine him being angry about this news, but at the same time, it is so much more than he bargained for when he came to this mountain.

  The next morning, I look at my phone even though I already know the date.

  It’s Christmas Eve.

  I dress quickly and head to the kitchen to get breakfast going. With this many people living here, there is always food to cook and laundry to wash. Thankfully, Tanner has done a good job raising his children and they are good about pitching in.

  Still, it’s a full-time job taking care of this brood. How he’s managed to homeschool them all this past year is beyond me. From the sound of things, everyone has been hanging on by a thread. Thankfully that thread is love — which means they are still managing to do okay, despite it all.

  Today there is a celebratory meal to make and I want to get started on it.

  Lily is in the kitchen when I get there and is stirring powdered hot cocoa mix into a microwave-safe mug.

  “That looks yummy,” I tell her as I grab the coffee canister. “Everyone else is still in bed, huh?”

  Just then, Tanner comes in. “Hey, I’m headed to Eagle Crest for last minute Christmas shopping with the kids.”

  “Oh, you’re all leaving? I was just about to make breakfast,” I say, anxious for time alone with him. He never came to my room last night. I’m guessing the lids were taking his attention, which I understand.

  He shrugs. “It’s fine, don’t worry about us. We’ll stop at Rosie’s diner on the way into town.”

  “Oh, alright,” I say, feeling my face fall. He is still avoiding me. Why? “Can I come?”

  Tanner looks at Clover and Willa, who shake their heads. “Sorry, official Bay family business.”

  “Right, sure.” I try to smile, but I feel like I’m on the verge of tears. I need to tell Tanner I’m having his baby… but maybe he doesn’t want me anymore?

  “Okay, we’re headed out.” The kids run to the hallway to grab coats and boots, and Tanner steps closer. For a moment, I think he is going to kiss me and my heart start to flutter. Maybe it’s all in my head. Maybe things with Tanner are just fine. Then he lowers his voice and asks, “Can you text me if Faith comes home? She’s been gone all night again and I’m getting worried. It’s not like her.”

  “Of course,” I say, seeing the worry lines on his face. “Of course, I will.”

  “Thanks, Virginia,” he says. “We’ll be back after lunch. Plenty of time to help prep for dinner.”

  “You’ll be gone that long?”

  He nods. “Christmas is tomorrow, and these kids have lots of ideas about gifts.”

  He steps away without a hug, without a kiss — even though we are alone in the kitchen.

  “Tanner,” I say, not wanting him to leave without at least saying something. “Are we okay? Like, you and me?”

  He frowns. “I think you’d be the best person to answer that.”

  Then he walks away and I’m trying to catch my breath. What the hell is that supposed to mean?

  * * *

  As the morning passes, snow starts to fall again. I’ve set rolls to rise, the turkey is in the oven, and the potatoes are prepped and in the fridge. I even started the crust for my butterscotch pie.

  Just as I begin to fold the final load of laundry, my phone buzzes. It’s not a number I recognize, but I answer it anyway. “Hello?”

  “Virginia?” Faith is breathless on the other end. “Can you come to get me? I’m scared to call my dad but… I need you.”

  “Where are you?” I ask, already grabbing my coat from the hook in the hallway.

  “I don’t know. I’m outside now, but it’s freezing out here.”

  “Why did you leave?”

  “Justin started drinking and wanted to have sex, and I didn’t want to, I’m not ready.”

  “Do you have a jacket on at least?”

  She starts to sniffle. “Yes, I’m going to start walking.”

  “Well, you can’t stay outside and freeze to death.”

  “I’m so stupid,” she says, her teeth chattering.

  “Are you at Dead Man’s Ridge?”

  “I think so. It’s the same place I was at the other day. The cabin is small, but Johnny’s red truck is out front. I just don’t want to go back in there. He gives me the creeps.”

  “You’re going to be okay. I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Don’t start walking too far because I don’t want you lost in the snow.”

  “Don’t tell my Dad,” she says. “Please.”

  Knowing there is no way I’m keeping this from Tanner, I tell her the truth. “Your father loves you and will be there for you no matter what.”

  “Please, Virginia, don’t.”

  “I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

  I hang up and then call Tanner, but there’s no answer. If he’s in Eagle Crest, he might not have reception. I try again, this time leaving a message. “Tanner, Faith is in trouble. I’m going to Dead Man’s Ridge to find her — the Justin guy was pressuring her, and so she left. This is bad, Tanner. Please call me as soon as you can.”

  As I step outside, I know that even though it is snowing, it’s still safe for me to drive. I just hope Faith doesn’t do anything reckless before I can get her back home.

  As I drive up the mountain, all I can think is that I should have called the ranger before I left my house, but as I try to pull over and do that now, my cell phone says there's no reception. Shit.

  The snow i
s coming down heavier every few feet I drive. I try to focus, not wanting to drive off the road into a snow bank. I try to distract myself from the growing doom of the situation by singing Christmas songs, but it’s useless. My hands grip so tightly on the steering wheel that my knuckles turn white.

  Finally, I see Dead Man’s Ridge in the distance and begin scanning the few cabins that dot this area to see if there are any cars parked in front of them. None of my friends live out this way, and I am beginning to understand why. With the snow falling thickly, and the sky growing dark, it’s becoming impossible to navigate.

  Finally, I see a light on in a cabin and I pull in. I don’t see a truck but if I keep driving now I’m going to get myself stuck out here in the snow. I silently thank the heavens for getting me here in one piece.

  Now I just need to get Faith and me out of here in one piece.

  Pushing open my car for, my boots sink into a foot of snow and the wind whips around me as I take each step. By the time I make it to the cabin, I can’t help but think this was a terrible plan. If anything happens to Faith or me out here… no, I can’t let myself think that way. We’re going to be fine. Better than fine.

  We are going to get home.

  I knock on the door but hear shouting inside, and no one answers me. I turn the knob of the door handle and it gives.

  Four men all turn to look at me. “Who the hell are you?” they ask, stepping toward me.

  They are about twice my age, but clearly drunk. Bottles fill the table and the room reeks of liquor. They aren’t just drunk, they’re dangerous. One of them reaches behind and rests his hand on the gun tucked into his jeans.

  “I’m here for Faith,” I tell them with a shaky breath.

  The armed man laughs. “You want Faith?”

  “Yes. I need her to come with me. Where is she?”

  “She’s occupied,” another man slurs, falling into the couch.

  “What does that mean?” I ask, my rage building. I don’t like the way these men are walking toward me, and I certainly don’t like their insinuation.