The Reed Security Relationship Manual: A Reed Security Romance

by Giulia Lagomarsino

  Cap rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest. “Do you have a death wish? You’re going to destroy your relationship with your wife over a fucking game?”

  “Hey, you’re the one that decided who would go after Jessica with a thumb war.” He winced slightly, because he knew he was the one that started all this. “You can try and stop me all you want, but I know how to do this. And when I pull it off and still have a woman that worships me, you’ll all be eating crow.”

  Cap sighed. “Well, I know I should warn you off or something, but I kinda want to see how this all turns out.”

  “You can’t be serious,” Coop said incredulously.

  “Look on the bright side,” Storm smiled, clapping his hands together and then rubbing them evilly. “We’ll have more information for the relationship manual.”

  I scoffed at him and headed for the elevator. This would all be fine. I wouldn’t flat out tell her that her cooking was terrible. I would suggest that I do the cooking since she watches the kids. Yeah, that would work. And when she offered to cook on certain nights, I would just tell her that as much as I loved her cooking, I would get fat from eating it. I needed a stricter diet. Hell, I could live off carrots and celery sticks. I could even slather on some peanut butter for protein. And if worse came to worst, I’d just make protein smoothies. I’d just have to keep her away from them. I might end up with raw eggs in my smoothie.

  By the time I was halfway to my house, I was feeling really good about all this. But the one thing I hadn’t noticed while lost in my thoughts was that half of the guys from Reed Security were following me home. When I got to the door, I turned to them with a smirk.

  “Relax, guys. I got this.”

  “It’s your funeral,” Coop sighed.

  I opened the door and stepped inside to my little guy running around the house screaming and smoke pouring out of the oven. Molly, chipper as ever, shut the oven door with her foot as she held a charcoaled dish in front of her.

  “Hey, guys!”

  “Hey, baby. What’s that?”

  “Oh,” she sighed in annoyance. “Well, Susan gave me this recipe that she said was to die for. Apparently, it’s really easy to make. I think I might have overdone it just a little, but I can’t wait for you to try it!”

  I looked back at the guys. Most of them had their heads bowed, but Storm was grinning at me like an idiot. It was now or never.

  I snatched the fork out of her hand and dug, much harder than I should have had to, into the casserole dish. What I pulled out, I wasn’t really sure of, but I blew on it and then slipped it inside my mouth, trying my best not to taste anything that slid down my throat. Or would have slid down if it wasn’t so damn hard. I choked as the food lodged in my throat, gasping for air, but the burnt food was solid as a rock and I couldn’t swallow it or spit it up.

  “Water,” I wheezed out. I could feel my lungs constricting and finally, the guys kicked into action. Rocco rushed over and wrapped his arms around my chest from behind, jolting my body as he performed the Heimlich maneuver. Over and over, he squeezed until I was sure I was going to have a broken rib or two, but it just wouldn’t come up. The damn thing was stuck in my throat. And at that moment, as I stared at Storm and he looked back at me, I knew I was going to die by my own wife’s cooking. I could see it in his face.

  The darkness was creeping in and I could hear Molly’s voice in my ear, begging for me to breathe. I saw Marcello in Cap’s arms, crying out for me, and all I could think was that Sinner would always claim that I named my kid after him. And I just couldn’t let that happen. I wasn’t sure where I found the strength or the oxygen, but I yanked Rocco off me and threw myself against the counter, expelling any oxygen I could from my body. I felt the hard scrape of food come up my throat and then it was flying across the room as I gulped in air and rested my forehead on the counter.

  “That was a close one,” Storm grinned. “I guess it was literally to die for.”

  My head shot up, and if I wasn’t so damn weak at the moment, I would kick his ass. It was like he wanted me to die from Molly’s cooking.

  “You,” I growled.

  “Not me,” he held up both hands. “Let’s remember why we’re here. I think what just happened is proof enough.”

  “What are you talking about?” Molly asked.

  “Do you want me to tell her?” Storm egged me on. “I’d be happy to do it for you, if you feel you’re not up to the task.”

  I glared at him and turned on Molly. “Molly, your cooking is terrible. So far beyond terrible that I’m surprised we haven’t all died yet. You almost just killed me because your food was so charred that it got lodged in my throat. And if Susan hasn’t been able to teach you how to cook all these years later, I would suggest that you just stop before you’re convicted of manslaughter.”

  Her chin quivered and tears filled her eyes. I heard someone cough out “asshole” under his breath, but it was too late. I had gone too far. Coop was right. I couldn’t take that back.

  “You don’t like my cooking?” she asked innocently.

  “Baby-“

  “Did you ever think that maybe you have really shitty taste buds? Or maybe you should chew your food before trying to swallow?”

  “Uh-“

  “I can’t believe you would walk in here with all your friends just to tell me what a terrible cook I am. Well, screw you! Just for that, I’m making Easter dinner for you with all the fixings.”

  She turned her glare on the guys, narrowing her eyes. I swore in that moment that she looked like Maggie, and I started searching for any immediate weapons that could land one or all of us in the emergency room.

  “And I’ll be cooking for everyone,” she hissed before grabbing Marcello out of Cap’s hands and storming from the room. I counted out the steps to our room and then nodded when the door slammed way harder than I had ever heard before.

  “Nice going,” Cap said. “Now we all have to eat her food.”

  “You know,” Rocco sighed, “this was not part of the plan for the relationship manual.”

  “What are you talking about?” Storm asked. “He just gave us a shit load of information. You should be thanking him.”

  “Yeah, better him than us,” Coop said.

  “I thought you didn’t want me to do it?” I asked.

  “Well, of course not, but it’s done now.”

  I shook my head, angry that I had fallen for Storm’s trap. “Every single one of you better show up on Easter. You’ll all eat her food, and you’ll all like it.”

  Rocco sighed and headed for the door. “Better start making preparations now. We’re all going to end up in the panic room where I can keep an eye on everyone after dinner.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Molly

  After the horrible things that Tony said to me, I was beyond livid. Who was he to judge my cooking like that? He didn’t know what good food was. Okay, so I wasn’t the best cook, but I wasn’t going to kill him with my cooking. That was just ridiculous. I heard all the men walk out the door, but wasn’t at all surprised when Tony knocked on the door minutes later.

  “Baby?”

  “Don’t you baby me. I can’t believe you just said that in front of all your friends. Do you enjoy humiliating me?”

  He stood there stunned. “That wasn’t the point. I swear, Storm was giving me shit about how I wasn’t man enough to talk to you about your cooking—“

  “Oh, so you thought it would be a good idea to storm into the house with all your friends and tell me my cooking sucked?”

  “Baby, you almost killed me. I literally almost choked to death on your food,” he said, pointing back toward the kitchen.

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “You’re alive. You didn’t almost die. You had…issues with chewing.”

  I picked up Kitty in one arm and Marcelo in the other, storming toward the door.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To stay with Susan in the bunker. S
ince my cooking is so terrible, I must need a few more cooking lessons. You can find us there.”

  I went to shove past him, but he stood in front of me. Kitty growled low in her throat, her half ear twitching as she prepared to swipe out at him. He stared down the cat, trying to decide on the best move.

  “Now, let’s be rational here. You don’t really want to leave me.”

  “Oh, did you think it was rational to come in here and tell your wife that her cooking sucked?”

  His eyes went wide and he shook his head slightly. “Molly…”

  “I don’t really want to stay,” I countered. “Not with someone that would be so mean to me. You really hurt me. I thought we were past all that.”

  “Look…I fucked up. I’ll admit that—“

  “Oh, how magnanimous of you,” I said, rolling my eyes as I pushed past him. “You know, maybe you should think about what you want more, Storm’s approval or your wife’s.”

  With that, I turned and walked out the door, leaving him standing in the doorway to our house. Getting in my car, I drove the short distance to the Reed Security bunker and carried Marcello inside. Kitty followed me everywhere, so all I had to do was set him down on the ground. Luckily, there were still clothes in the bunker from the last time we were down there, so I shouldn’t have to worry about any of that. And there should be diapers and wipes down there also. If there was one positive thing I could say about the guys, they were always prepared for everything.

  I pressed my hand to the scanner of the bunker door, then punched in the code and went through the eye scan. Seriously, it was such a pain in the ass to get down here. The door opened and air hissed out as the door opened and the pressure released.

  What I wasn’t expecting was to see practically every other woman from Reed Security in the bunker. I stood there in shock, staring at them all, and they all looked pissed.

  Maggie turned to me, walking over with a smile as she took Marcello from me. “Hey, little guy. What are you guys doing here?”

  “Tony said my cooking sucked in front of half the guys.”

  She nodded, like that was completely understandable. “Well, we’re all boycotting the men. They’re all being assholes.”

  “Everyone is?”

  She looked around the room, counting heads. “Yep, I think we’re just missing Kate. Oh, and Cara, since she’s ready to pop.”

  “Do you think Kate will come?”

  “Well, that depends on if Knight lets her out of his sight.”

  “But the question is, how do we keep them from coming down here and ruining our solitude?”

  Maggie grinned. “Oh, well, that’s one of the perks of being the owner’s wife. See, Sebastian put in all these protocols for the women, you know, in case we ever get attacked again and need to keep out the enemy.”

  “Didn’t the protections already cover us for that?”

  “Oh, they bumped up security again. Now, we can lock ourselves in here, and they can’t get in.”

  “But why would they need that?” I asked in confusion.

  “You know, in case one of them was taken and were forced to use their hand print or their eye for the scanner.”

  I swallowed hard. “You mean, like if someone cut off their hand or cut out their eyeball?”

  “Look, I’m not saying I would do it, but…well, I’m not denying that I wouldn’t get made enough to think about it.”

  She turned and walked off with Marcello. Shaking my head, I walked over to the most reasonable person in the room.

  “Hey, Reese. What are you down here for?”

  “Craig came home bragging the other day about how he successfully talked down a woman that wanted to assassinate her husband by telling her about how he kidnapped me, tricked me into marrying him, and sold my house.”

  “I thought you were past that?”

  “Well, I was, until he started using it as an example for others. I mean, I’ve forgiven him for all that, and I understand how much he loves me, but do you know how embarrassing it is that he thinks he’s the shining example for all other males to follow? No, he needs to be knocked down a peg or two.”

  I glanced around the room, wondering if they all felt this way. “So, what’s the plan?”

  “Well, Maggie has access to all of the manual, along with Rocco’s rulebook. We’re going to create our own rules, and when the guys hand over their rulebook, we’ll happily hand over one of our own.”

  “That…actually seems pretty logical.”

  She grinned in a way that I had never seen before. She was no longer the nice kindergarten teacher with the quirky husband. She was a woman hell bent on setting her man straight and making sure he didn’t fuck up again. It was kind of kickass.

  I thought about what happened tonight and decided I had a few rules of my own I’d like to add.

  “So, word on the street is that you and Tony are about to bring another taco into the world.”

  I sighed. “Yeah, not quite yet. I just found out.”

  “That’s great news!”

  “Well, it would be, but tonight he showed up at the house with some of the guys, and he yelled at me and told me how terrible my cooking was.”

  “He did not,” she said in shock.

  “Okay, in his defense, he had almost just choked to death on my food.”

  “Yeah, you really need to stop that. I love you, but your cooking will kill someone one day.”

  “I know,” I sighed.

  “Then why do you keep doing it?”

  “It can’t be that bad. I mean, Tony keeps eating it.”

  “Honey, he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.”

  “Too late for that. You should have heard him tonight.”

  “So, what did you do?”

  “Well, after he stopped yelling at me, I did what any woman would do, I started crying and ran off to my room.”

  “Nice,” she grinned. It wasn’t my style, but the one thing none of these guys could handle was a woman crying.

  “So, anyway, I was down the hall crying, and I just lost it. I decided I couldn’t be around him anymore. So, I packed up Marcello, and here we are.”

  “Well, hopefully that won’t last long. If we can get this rulebook written quickly, they’ll never think of messing with us again.”

  “Yeah, well, I have a few rules of my own to add to it.”

  “Don’t we all,” she snorted.

  “Why do they think they have rights on what should be done in a relationship?”

  “Well, it’s simple. They’re men and they think they rule the world. If I made a rulebook, it would be pretty cut and dry.”

  “Why’s that?”

  “Men are simple creatures. It doesn’t take much to know how to make them do what you want.”

  “Really?” I asked. “I don’t know about any of this.”

  “Sure you do. What do men like from their women?”

  I thought about what Tony always wanted. “Sex.”

  “Right, but when you’re in bed, what do they want?”

  “Orgasms.”

  “Okay, you’re thinking too basic, which is saying a lot since we’re talking about men. They want praise. Oh, baby. That’s so good. You’re so big. You know exactly what to do to make me come.”

  “Tony’s not like that,” I insisted.

  “Every guy is like that. They want to know that they’re pleasing you and fulfilling their manly duties.”

  “So, you think I should fake it?”

  “Well, that depends. Does Tony give you orgasms?”

  I narrowed my eyes at her. “What do you think?”

  “Then it’s not faking it. It’s just vocalizing it. That’s what they need to hear from you, so you give it to them.”

  “But how does this work into the rulebook?”

  She grinned at me. “You just take away the one thing that they want most, and you have the world at your fingertips.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Sin
ner

  I was just getting ready to run out the door for work when I saw Cara sitting on the couch, ready to pop with our last kid. And it would definitely be our last kid. I had made that decision the moment I found out that Cara was pregnant. I had almost passed out. After our third kid, which I had considered an oops baby, I thought we were done. Now, here I was, mid-forties with another kid on the way. More sleepless nights, more loud cries from both the kid and Cara. I just wasn’t prepared for it this time around.

  The good thing was that Morgan was pregnant also, due just a few weeks after Cara, so hopefully they would spend lots of time together, and it would let me off the hook. Still, until that time, I had to step up and be the husband she deserved. I walked over and gave her a kiss on the lips, smiling down at her.

  “Hey, Lollipop. How are you feeling?”

  She blew out a harsh breath and sighed. “My feet hurt. My back hurts. I’m tired, and I just want to go to sleep, but I can’t find a comfortable position. It’s all your fault.”

  “My fault?” I asked, my eyebrows shooting up.

  “You and your big dick. If it weren’t for you, I would be happy with just our three kids and not expecting a girl any day now.”

  I chuckled in relief. “I know what you mean. The thought of having a fourth kid right now is just too much.”

  She shifted and stared at me in shock. “You don’t want our baby?”

  “What?”

  “You just said you didn’t want her.”

  “No…I said…I…” I cleared my throat uncomfortably. “You said that you were fine with three. I was just agreeing.”

  “Yeah, but I’m the one going through all this. You’re just doing your normal thing.”

  “Wait, so it’s okay for you to not want a fourth kid, but not me?”

  “I never said I didn’t want her! And yes, it’s definitely okay for me to say that. I’m the one putting in all the work.”

  I rolled my eyes and muttered under my breath, “Believe me, you’re a lot of fucking work.”