Aretha Moon and the Dead Hairdresser: Aretha Moon Book 2 (Aretha Moon Mysteries)

by Linda Ross

  I could feel his soft laugh. “Then let me see what we’ve got to eat.”

  He came back to the couch with two bags of corn chips, a bag of M&Ms, a beer and a Diet Coke.

  I ate a handful of M&Ms and some corn chips, then took a long drink of the Diet Coke. Then I leaned back on the couch and sighed.

  “Well, happy Thanksgiving,” I said. “It was one for the books.”

  “I kind of liked it when your aunt got drunk.”

  “Yeah, that was pretty good. ‘This lemonade is really good,’” I said, imitating her.

  “And it was entertaining when Ralph dumped everything in his lap.”

  “He deserved it for trying to pick up Darlene. I don’t know why Eileen likes him. He’s such a sleaze.”

  “An eleven on a scale of ten,” Jimmy agreed.

  After we put the sheets in the dryer, we switched from football to an old movie. It was all nostalgia and happy families and no one wanted to kill anyone else. It only made me feel worse. So I ate some more M&Ms. Jimmy had a second beer. We were carefully avoiding talking about what was on both of our minds. Finally I couldn’t stand it any longer.

  “Why is someone trying to scare the heck out of me?” I wondered out loud. “It’s not like I have any idea who the killer is.”

  “But he must think you do.”

  “So it has to be someone I’ve talked to.”

  “That would be my guess. Someone who feels threatened by the fact that you’re poking around in the murder.”

  “But I haven’t really found out anything important yet. The police have more information than I do. I just keep turning up more suspects. You’d think that would make the killer feel more safe.”

  “Maybe you know something, but you don’t realize it.”

  “I doubt that,” I said. I was starting to feel tired. It had been a long, stressful day.

  “Whoever killed Kara must have come in the back way where the camera at the bait shop didn’t see them. We have Rose leaving through the front door about 7 or so. She turns and calls something as she’s leaving. About half an hour later Kara comes out and smokes a cigarette before going back inside. And that’s the last anyone sees her alive.”

  “No one saw anyone come or go by the back way?”

  “It’s an alley. Not much traffic, and the back faces another business, a health food store, which was closed by then.”

  Jimmy and I went over the suspects again until I was feeling exhausted. I put my head back on the couch, and Jimmy massaged my neck. It felt really good, and I guess I drifted off.

  I woke up much later to Jimmy nudging me. “Come on. Time for bed. I put the sheets on.”

  “You should have gotten me up to help.”

  “I decided you needed the sleep. Are you really going shopping tomorrow?”

  “It’s a tradition. We’re not leaving until 9 though. We just do the downtown area.”

  “Well, I guess you’ll be safe enough in a big crowd of shoppers. Be sure to take your cell phone.”

  I toddled off to brush my teeth, and Nancy trotted after me. The clean sheets smelled wonderful, and Nancy was snoring within a minute. I lay awake staring up at the ceiling. I’d told Jimmy I didn’t cry, but sometimes I sure felt like it. I was fifty years old, I was tired, and someone was threatening to kill me. I wanted to live long enough to at least get Medicare. And maybe save enough money to take a nice vacation. I wanted to do all the things that people my age got to do. Go to buffets, take a cruise, play Bingo. Well, maybe not Bingo.

  My usual heartburn was kicking in, and I worried that if the psycho killer didn’t get me, then a heart attack would. Life was complicated. Jimmy was in the next room, and I’d never told him how I felt about him. I might never get the chance.

  I got a Tums from the night table and sucked on it in the dark. I liked the fruit flavors. They weren’t chocolate, but they weren’t bad. Nancy started chasing a rabbit in her sleep, her paws twitching. I ran my hand over her head, and she settled back down.

  I got up, tiptoed to Jimmy’s bedroom door and peeked in. He was asleep on his side, one arm hanging over the edge of the bed. I wished I were in the bed with him, curled against his back, but I hustled back to my own bed and took another Tums.

  Eileen had Momo in the car when she picked me up the next morning, and she’d brought me a muffin and a hot chocolate. Momo was uncharacteristically quiet.

  “Are you all right, Momo?” I asked.

  She mumbled something, and I met Eileen’s eyes in the rear view mirror. Hangover. Those delicious lemonades she had yesterday.

  “What happened to your car?” Eileen asked. “It looks like it was in an accident.”

  “You might say that. Someone doesn’t like me, and they’re taking it out on my car.”

  “You can’t go around pissing off people, Aretha.”

  “I’m sorry, but it’s in my job description.”

  “Use your inside voices,” Momo said. “I’ve got a headache, and my stomach isn’t the best either. I could use some Pepto-Bismol.”

  “We can stop at Walgreen’s,” Eileen said. “I’m out of aspirin for some reason.” Her eyes met mine in the rear view mirror again.

  I could always use Tums, so we all trooped inside. And it was like deja vu. There was Mr. Mackey in the aisle with the Pepto-Bismol.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked in surprise. “Stewart isn’t still attacking you, is he?”

  “Joan’s cooking,” he said, a hint of desperation in his voice. “It’s no wonder that dog’s so mean. That woman is a demon at the stove. Everything is either burned or under-cooked. She can’t even cook baked beans. Who can’t heat up baked beans? She left the lid off, and they exploded all over the kitchen. Have you ever cleaned beans off a ceiling? Let me tell you, it’s not easy.”

  “So why do you go over there?” I asked.

  He sighed. “We go in on lottery tickets. We split a hundred dollars last week.”

  “Well, it seems to me your only choice is to learn to cook.”

  “Oh, God,” he said. He grabbed a bottle of Pepto-Bismol and headed toward the check-out, shaking his head.

  “Who was that?” Momo asked, taking a bottle of Pepto for herself.

  “Some poor guy who kidnapped a dog and lived to regret it.” I picked up a bottle of Tums and headed for the check-out myself. When I went to pay, tissues were leaking out the hole in my purse like puffs of smoke from a cigarette.

  “Why does your purse have a hole in it?” Momo asked. “I swear, you dress like a homeless person.”

  “I had a run-in with a vicious dog. I’m lucky he didn’t chew a hole in me.”

  Momo sniffed and paid for her Pepto.

  Back in the car, Momo opened the Pepto and chugged while I ate a couple of Tums and Eileen took two aspirin. For three mature women, we were a motley crew. This must be why people said getting old wasn’t for the faint of heart. I wondered if we should all be shopping as a group. We looked like an invitation to cull the herd.

  We started at the pottery store, and I picked up a nice bowl I planned to give to Thelma for Christmas. I asked Eileen what she wanted since she had a dish set from there, and I got her two platters to add to it. Momo picked up a dish for baking bread to give to a friend in Florida. Then we wandered over to the quilt shop and looked at all the patterns. Eileen quilts, and she got some extra fabric and thread.

  The next stop was a country store on Main Street. Momo and Eileen bought some baking pans, and I got a bag of chocolate nonpareils. We were all tired by the time we got back in the car. I crunched on my chocolates, and Eileen and Momo stretched out their legs. In five minutes we were all asleep. Eileen woke up first and woke me by reaching around the seat and shaking my leg. I woke up with chocolate drool running down the side of my face, my chocolates spilled all over my lap. At least not all of my tissues had leaked from my purse, and I cleaned up my face.

  “Let’s let Momo sleep,” Eileen said. “Let’s get some lu
nch and call it a day.”

  Momo was snoring when Eileen and I got out of the car at the coffee shop downtown. We got sandwiches and chips, and I picked out a piece of cake. When we got back to the car, Momo was still sleeping.

  “I don’t know how old people get anything done,” Eileen said. “I guess I’d better take her home. Ready?”

  “No, wait. I thought of something I need to do.” I called Thelma and asked if she would pick me up in front of the coffee shop. I didn’t tell her what I had in mind.

  Eileen left me sitting on a bench in front of the shop, and five minutes later Thelma came by. Parking spots were at a premium, so when I saw her drive past I jogged to the corner and got in the re.

  “Ready to do some shopping?” Thelma asked. “There are some good specials on clothes.”

  “I had something else in mind.”

  “Uh-oh. I don’t like the sound of this.”

  “Yesterday whoever sent the text messages to us threw an iron brick through my car window. I think we need to check out Loren Haskell’s place.”

  “So you think it’s a good idea to poke around the guy who might have killed Kara and is now after you? Is this some special kind of white people’s logic?”

  “I know it sounds crazy, but the police don’t have anything to go on, so no legal reason to search his property.”

  “And you think we’re just the two people to do that in place of the police?”

  “Come on. It won’t hurt to have a little look around.”

  “Oh, it’ll hurt all right. It’ll hurt heaps if he catches us.”

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  We were on our way to Loren Haskell’s farm. I had convinced Thelma that we would come in through the orchard and just look around the barn area. I also promised to give her her Christmas present early if she did this.

  It was another cloudy day, which made it feel later than it was. Thelma drove past the farm, slowing at the entrance so we could get a look at the barn. There was a light inside, so Loren must be working. We drove on past the orchard and pulled into a small lane that paralleled a field behind the orchard.

  “Ready for a walk?” I asked, getting out of the car.

  “I still think this is crazy,” Thelma said. “What’s to stop this guy from killing both of us?”

  “How fast can you run?” I asked.

  Thelma crossed herself.

  I muted my phone as we made our way up the orchard toward the barn. We had to go slowly because the tall grass was dried and crunched when we moved through it. The wind was starting to pick up, and I shivered, though I didn’t know if it was from cold or the prospect of running into a possible psycho killer.

  It took us ten minutes to work our way up the orchard, staying far enough from the road that no one driving by would see us. Thelma kept muttering about what a bad idea this was, and I tended to agree.

  From our vantage point, we could just see the edge of the front door to the house, which faced the barn. There were clanking sounds coming from inside the barn, so Loren was working on a new piece of iron work. That should keep his attention occupied.

  We started to move forward, and then the clanking stopped, and we froze. In a minute, I saw Loren appear at the front door and go inside the house. The door slammed behind him.

  “I’m checking out the barn,” I said to Thelma.

  “Are you crazy??!!” she hissed.

  I was pretty sure I was, but I needed to do something instead of waiting for the psycho to come after me.

  I slipped out of the orchard as quickly as an overweight, menopausal woman can move and stuck to the barn wall as I moved toward the front. I looked around the corner and didn’t see or hear anything. Hopefully, Loren was taking a long break. I could hear little squeaking sounds from the orchard, which indicated either a large mouse or Thelma hyperventilating.

  I hurried to the barn entrance and peered inside. No Loren. He was still in the house. As quickly as I could, I went inside the barn and started looking around. He had been working on another of the bird sculptures, which was lying on a wooden table. Heat came from the fire, but provided little light. My eyes were starting to adjust, and I moved around the perimeter, not sure what I was looking for. There were several projects lining the walls, gates and arbors in various stages of completion, pretty much what I’d seen when I was here talking to Loren the last time. I tried to remember what I’d said that might have set him off on this quest to scare me to death. I think I’m a fairly normal person, and I didn’t think I’d said anything that would provoke a normal man. But this guy wasn’t normal.

  I had made my way to the back of the barn, and I saw piles of junk sitting there. I nearly stumbled over something and looked down to see a pile of bricks. Not just any bricks though. These were iron, like the one thrown through my car window.

  And then I heard a door slam.

  Crap!

  I hustled to the side of the open door and peered out. Loren was walking across the yard toward the barn. There was no other way out, and I was trapped. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. He was going to come through the door any minute.

  There was no place to hide, so I would have to hope he didn’t notice me and I could slip out after he was inside. I flattened myself against the wall just inside the opening. I would be on his left when he walked in, and the forge was on the right. Hopefully he wouldn’t have reason to look to the left.

  Flattened was probably a poor choice of words to describe my state. My menopausal belly hadn’t been flat in years. Okay, it had never been flat. I just hoped it didn’t stick out so far that Loren noticed me standing there. I shrank into the shadows as much as I could.

  He strode into the barn carrying a cup of steaming coffee and went straight to his work bench.

  I edged to the opening and slipped out, sticking close to the front of the barn until I rounded the corner. Then I broke for the orchard as fast as I could. I passed a burn barrel and a pile of junk, but I kept going.

  When I got to Thelma she was still squeaking. “Did he see you?” she demanded, holding her hand to her chest.

  I shook my head, panting and out of breath. “I saw those iron bricks in there, just like the one that was thrown through my car window.”

  “Let’s go. We can call Jimmy and tell him.”

  “No, wait. I passed a burn barrel behind the barn. We need to check it out.”

  “You are truly nuts,” she hissed at me. “We don’t belong here. We’re two elderly women, not some hot shot detectives. You’ve been watching too much TV.”

  “I can’t let this go,” I said. “I’ve got to find whoever’s been threatening us before it drives me crazy.”

  “I really worry about your gene pool,” Thelma muttered as she followed me toward the back of the barn.

  We crept slowly toward the barrel, hunched over, though that was more from being scared than any attempt to be stealthy. We could hear regular pounding inside the barn with an occasional pause.

  The burn barrel was half full, and on top was a partially burned rope. I picked up a stick from the ground and used it to lift out the rope. It occurred to me that it might be what was used to strangle Kara. Underneath there were some newspapers, also partially burned, and under them a cell phone. Beside that was a blacksmith’s hammer with a wooden handle that was also scorched. I was so startled by the find that I dropped the newspapers back in the barrel, backed up and tripped over the pile of junk lying on the ground. An old rake fell over and banged into the metal barrel, making a loud clanging noise. It happened during a pause in the hammering inside the barn, and Loren called out, “Hey! Who’s there?”

  Thelma and I scrambled toward the orchard as fast as we could. I knew we couldn’t run far enough to get out of sight before he rounded the corner, so as soon as we reached a large tree I grabbed Thelma and pulled us both down on the ground. We lay flat in the dry grass behind the tree and tried not to breathe loudly. That was hard, because I was pretty sure I w
as in the middle of a heart attack.

  “You kids stay away from here!” Loren shouted in the direction of the orchard.

  We could hear him muttering to himself, and I was shaking so hard I felt as though I was a human milkshake. A couple of minutes later the hammering in the barn resumed, and I let my breath out in a long, ragged whoosh.

  Thelma and I got to our feet gingerly and hustled back through the orchard. By the time we spotted the car, we were running. Or what passed for running at our age.

  “Oh, my God,” I said when we were inside the car. “I hope I didn’t wet myself.”

  “You are going to be the death of me,” Thelma said. “Just look at us. We’re covered in dirt and weeds. We look like we’re homeless. And I’m itching. I hope that wasn’t poison ivy we were lying in.”

  “Listen,” I said, “did you see what I saw?”

  “I saw a man out to kill us, and I didn’t like it.”

  “No, that pile of junk. There was a small animal trap there, just the right size to catch a rat.”

  “You’re worried about animal control now?” she demanded, and then she made the connection. “Oh, the rat in your car.”

  “Right. It has to be Loren who put it there. And I think there was blood on the handle of that hammer. What if he strangled Kara with the rope, then bashed in her face with the hammer? And the phone could be the one he used to text us the threats.”

  We were both itching by the time we got back to Jimmy’s house. Thelma dropped me off and said she would see me the next night for the Spyglass party. Nancy did her little happy dance when she saw me, concluding with a couple of spins.

  “Where have you been?” Jimmy demanded when I walked in the door. “I’ve been calling you the last half hour, and you didn’t answer.”

  “I had the phone on mute. Sorry.”

  “I was picturing the worst,” Jimmy said. He looked and sounded calm, but I could tell he was agitated.

  “All right. Let’s get something to drink, and I’ll tell you all about it.”

  When he had a beer and I had a Diet Coke, I took a deep breath and told him the whole story. I could see he wasn’t happy when I said that Thelma and I had poked around Loren’s place, so I hurried to the end of the story. “There was a pile of iron bricks in the barn like the one that was thrown through my car window. And there was a burn barrel behind the barn, and under some newspapers there was a piece of charred rope, a hammer with what looked like blood on the handle and a cell phone. And there was a small animal trap on the ground with some junk.”